Home  Asian Babes  Sex  Nightlife  Sitemap

« || next »

The Mona Lisa's enigmatic smile is a centuries-old puzzle but there's no mystery as to what's brightening up this fella's day - he's getting wanked-off by a tiny monkey.

The (uncropped) original was sent to me by Brian but, to prevent an awkward misunderstanding at Bangkok Airport, I've now deleted it from my hard drive.

Fortunately, some Mango Sauce readers also contribute material that I can publish. Pattaya Peter sent me this extraordinary example of Filipino medical malpractice from AdultFriendFinder.com:

I'M HOT & WET & READY 4 YOU

Member name: xxhot_wet, a 21 year old woman from Makati, National Capital Region, Philippines.

Last year I discovered sex, and I wanted to fuck all the time, I mean like everyday, and if I can't get off with a guy I use my finger, and on my doctors advice, last week I bought a rubber like penis that vibrates, it gets me off in minutes. He suggested this as he put it, because I am a Nympho, and should stop fucking these young guys as I would probably get pregnant or catch something. He felt that the safest way for me to continue having sex, was to restrict my sexual activity to older cacasian men. Who would be D/D free and would always practice safe sex.

Your Ad Here

Ideal Person:

I am in hopes of meeting older men over 30 who are not interested in making a comitment and that they want to have there sexual desires fulfilled while visiting the Philippines. They should be understanding of my physical needs and be willing to tollerate the excess juices that flow when I have sex, several towels are required. Please do not write me if you are looking for a sex partner, or want to be hanging around. I want the caucasian man that is here today and gone tomorrow.

Peter is currently holidaying in the Philippines so I've asked him to track down this commitment-averse young lady for an interview. Hopefully, she won't go all shy on us like the infamous Korat "Gote" Girl.

Yesterday, first-time Mango Sauce visitor Jimmy asked for my help to get hold of some red-hot Lena Li porno:

I found the couple of articles that you'd written about Lena Li and noticed that you seem to be pretty fond of her as well, which is very understandable. Anyway, as you may or may not know, she appears in the current issue of Playboy Vixens. I have yet to see this apparent four-page spread that she has in it because I sort of refuse to buy it.

The main reason is because I'm kind of poor and spending money on pornography just seems like a real waste, you know? It seems really selfish I guess, I don't know. Also I get these sweaty panic attacks and stuff (one time I stepped into a pornography store and ran out about 8 seconds later because of the anxiety going up to old guy at the counter and him "judging" me, which I know is rife with a lack of logic).

This is way too long and I'm sorry for wasting your time so I'll just get to the point. I'm not sure if you're in Bangkok currently, or something but I just wanted to know if you had this issue and maybe could scan the pictures of Lena Li into your computer and send them to me? Please please please? I cannot tell you how much it would mean to me.

My reply was admittedly a bit terse:

Score your own jazz-mags, you cheeky twat.

My latest expose of devious Thai mail-order brides (See Unmasking a Thai Internet con-girl) prompted our old friend Combover to offer a practical suggestion - a pair of radio-controlled knickers that will monitor her whereabouts.

http://forgetmenotpanties.contagiousmedia.org

DMO pointed out a glaring inconsistency in the same article:

You and your Scrabble mate need to get aligned on one (very important) topic. On 29 May you talked about the con-girl's boyfriend being hard to convince when he is being "expertly blown-off" and then on 31 May (See "The Rock" exposed as Soi Cowboy go-go dancer) you quoted your mate's (apparently endorsed) aspersions on the Thai ladies' abilities and/or enthusiasm for that particular pastime.

He was quite correct, unfortunately, but he softened the blow with a disarmingly candid admission:

Must dash now as I have to collect the Camel Adventure Wear (how did you know?) from the laundry for the next trip to BKK.

He was, of course, referring to this passage...

They [the photos stashed in her bottom drawer] will show her poking the long-suffering orangutans of Safari World with a sharp stick in the company of an ever-changing line-up of bland-looking professional men clad in sweat-stained Camel Adventure Wear.

...and his disclosure prompted me to make a dramatic confession:

I must fess-up to owning a Camel shirt myself but I draw the line at those multi-pocketed beige slacks that unzip at the knee - despite their impressive versatility.

Camel would have us believe that intrepid "Adventure Wearers" spend their weekends ascending the south face of Everest with a couple of hardy Sherpas but, in reality, they're more likely to be found sneaking up the back stairs of The Landmark Sukhumvit with a couple of hideous ladyboys.

With this in mind, I've colluded with my Filipino friends to devise a catchy new slogan for them:

"Camel Adventure Wear: For the older Caucasian man who is here today and gone tomorrow and not want to be hanging around."

[Posted to Your Letters by David]

Your Ad Here

Syndication

• RSS Feed

Resources

Site Map
Links

All rights reserved. The contents of this website are protected by copyright.