April 7 2004

Confessions of a Thai driving instructor #2

Confessions of a Thai driving instructor

Our Mango Sauce Crime Correspondent brings us the concluding episode of this splendid Thai farce (See: Confessions of a Thai driving instructor #1).

Hearing the knock on the door, and then a voice she recognized, little Miss Roong quickly realized that she was in danger of being caught in flagrante delicto. Pushing off the thrusting Somchai she threw most of his clothes at him and hurled him through the back kitchen door just as the front door shattered and Pascal charged into the apartment.

Now Roong was much smarter than your average girl. She knew she had only seconds to figure out an escape story so, as a temporary holding measure, she did a quick faint and collapsed on the floor. Pascal rushed to pick-up his naked girlfriend and carried her to the bed where she slowly came to. Roong's story was simple: she had been drugged and didn't know what had happened to her. Hesitatingly, she explained she had been given a lift home by her driving instructor who gave her something to drink after which she fell asleep.

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Zoot alors! Pascal's little angel had been assaulted! He called the building management to get the Police who soon arrived to investigate the crime. The sergeant who came seemed rather amused by the whole affair as the story of the driving instructor was explained to him. Dutifully, however, he collected Somchai's underwear, socks and shoes as well as pieces of Khun Roong's attire which he put in a bag to use as evidence. Roong's mother was in town visiting another sister and she too was summoned to the apartment to provide support.

Next day Roong, Mum and Pascal were called to the Police Station to confront the number one suspect, Khun Somchai. It was quickly apparent that he indeed was the culprit but, of course, he said Khun Roong had consented to the fun and games. Despite what you read about Thai policemen these policemen were not fools. They knew what had happened and were reluctant to charge Somchai whose only crime was that of excessive lust. It was, therefore, decided that perhaps a little compensation could change hands and the matter could be settled there and then. Roong's Mum asked for a million baht but this was reduced, after some negotiation, to 10,000 baht.

Somchai handed the money to Roong who, turning her back on her mother and Pascal, passed 2,000 baht to the policeman as his agent's fee. She then gave Somchai a big smile as if to say: "don't worry, you'll get 8,000 baht of value some other time" and walked out of the police station.

As of now, we don't know if Khun Roong ever got her "little car" but, if she ever does, Monsieur Pascal would be well-advised to regularly check the interior ceiling for footprints.

She might be a danger to other road users but this girl's emergency stop certainly outmaneuvered her farang boyfriend.

[Posted to Your Letters by David]

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