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Voted one of the world's least friendly cities, Kuala Lumpur (KL) in Malaysia is not the most obvious place to get a visa. It has its supporters though, so last week I went there to see for myself.

The ideal visa run is quick, hassle-free and cheap. For me, this means air travel, taxis and half-decent hotels - but all at a bargain price. Readers who actually enjoy 24 hour bus rides and studying the lifecycle of the cockroach should look away now. My expenses are listed at the end.

KL may be unfriendly but it's no worse than London. It's seriously multicultural so westerners attract little attention here. In fact, going around unnoticed makes a pleasant change from the scrutiny you get in Bangkok - "mumble mumble farang mumble mumble farang etc..."

Best of all, KL is dirt-cheap. Hotels, taxis, food and almost everything else cost more or less the same as in Bangkok. The fake goods are even cheaper but, for now at least, the DVDs have vanished. I bought a quality TAG Heuer watch for RM100 ($26/£16). You don't see copies this good in Bangkok but I still wouldn't chance it in the shower. Sadly, there are no bargain electronics. Hong Kong it is not.

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With 2 days to kill, you need to stay somewhere reasonable. The Lonely Planet gives Chinatown top billing because it's lively and close to the tourist attractions - although "attractions" isn't quite how I would put it. It has to be said that KL's museums and galleries are rather unimpressive. The bad English on the dusty labels can be amusing though.

I wouldn't want to stay in Chinatown but it is worth browsing the street markets there. It's quite run-down and there are no decent shops but it's better than Little India, Brickfields or Chow Kit. The latter features hideous katoeys leaping out at you from every doorway.

Don't misunderstand me. We all know that if you read between the lines of the Lonely Planet (usually in the dangers and annoyances section) you can find out where all the fun places are. Chow Kit is not a fun place - it's a total fucking nightmare.

If you must scratch the itch, there are plenty of dodgy "health clubs" in the better districts. An informed source tells me that the bar of the Concorde Hotel is a known hangout for fun-loving girls. Don't parade your slapper through the streets though. Malaysia is a bit conservative in that respect.

So where should you stay? The best hotels are found in the Golden Triangle. This is the modern bit with all the skyscrapers and conference centres. Watch out for baffled delegates wandering the streets clutching their welcome packs. They are discovering that there is nothing else here but skyscrapers and conference centres. Incredibly, hailing a cab on the street is illegal in KL and the taxi ranks are quite well camouflaged. Our wandering delegates have just discovered that too.

The famous Petronas Twin Towers can be found here (quite easily, actually). Though no longer the world's tallest towers, they remain the tallest twin towers. Nothing else even comes close - well, not since 9/11 anyway. You can't go to the top, but you can cross the Skybridge that links them half-way up.

Whilst waiting for my appointment, I visited Kinokuniya in the mall below. This is arguably the best bookshop in Asia. The gardens outside aren't bad either.

Just to the south-east of the Golden Triangle is Jalan Bukit Bintang, KL's most happening street. European in style, it has all the malls, cinemas and coffee shops you could hope for plus modern hotels at sensible prices.

I stayed at the 3-star Nova Hotel on nearby Jalan Alor, which offers comfortable rooms complete with HBO and a kettle. The cooked breakfast (included) was ok too. I enjoyed some splendid Chinese meals in the pavement restaurants nearby, washed down with Tiger Beer.

The Thai Embassy is at 206 Jalan Ampang. This is a 15 minute ride from the taxi rank outside BB Plaza on Jalan Bukit Bintang. The KL traffic flows quite freely, so journey times are fairly predictable.

Interestingly, my taxi driver was none other than Amrozi bin Nurhasyim, the smiling bomber (or perhaps his twin). Although sentenced to death by a Balinese Court, he must have been out on bail or something. Luckily, we managed to get to the Thai Embassy without him blowing anything else up.

Application forms are dished out by an angry little man in the gatehouse. He refused to let anyone have one before 9.15 though. The Consular Section is across a small courtyard and the doors open at 9.30.

Completed form in hand, I drifted towards the door at 9.29. It's in direct sunlight, so only a few people were hovering there. Those prepared to brave the sun cut about half an hour from their waiting time.

Passports are collected from the gatehouse at 11.30 the following day. Arriving at 11.15 got me near the head of the queue - which starts in the courtyard and not in the street. Those who got it wrong ended up right at the back. The angry little man saw to that. For once in my life, I got it right and was shortly in a taxi heading for KL Sentral.

KL Sentral train station is the terminus of the KLIA Ekspres. The station offers airline check-in facilities - and you don't have to go business class to enjoy the privilege. There was no queue. Once you have dumped your bags, the train whisks you to the airport in just 20 minutes.

KL International Airport (KLIA) is a modern marvel. In the gleaming departure lounge, I stopped to eat at Delifrance. Am I the only person who can't go in here without recalling the film Deliverance, in which the unfortunate Ned Beatty is bum-raped by rough hillbillies as Burt Reynolds looks on? Ok, maybe it's just me then.

Thai Airways and Malaysia Airlines jointly operate a 15.15 flight to Bangkok. This is so convenient for visa-runners that I spotted almost everyone from the Embassy on board.

My lucky streak came to a crashing halt on arrival in Bangkok. Only the city's most decrepit taxis ply Don Muang. No one in their right mind would hail one of these relics, so the once-proud street predators have been reduced to bottom-feeding at the airport. Broken suspension, wheezing air-conditioning and two hours of rush hour traffic took the shine off what was, in most other respects, a successful trip.

Quick? Yes. Hassle-free? Yes. Cheap? Yes - apart from the airfare, which was steep compared with Singapore. I should have booked earlier to get the promotional rate. Would I do it again? Yes - but I want to write about somewhere else next time.

What it cost

Expense	Baht	Ringgits	Convert ($)	Convert (£)
Airfare (+3% for card)	9,878	-	241	152
Departure tax	500	-	12	8
Bangkok taxi (return)	390	-	10	6
KLIA Ekspres (return)	-	70	18	12
Nova Hotel (2 nights)	-	240	63	40
Visa fee	-	33	9	5
KL Taxi (various)	-	30	8	5
Total	10,768	373	360	228

Footnote

On the day I got back - 26 August - the Thai Government hiked its visa fees. A sixty-day tourist visa now costs B1,000 (tripled). Extending it to 90 days costs a further B1,900 (quadrupled).

Based on four visa runs a year, the annual cost of this fool's errand is about £1,000 ($1,600). In spite of the visa hikes, only about 5% of this ends up in the Government's coffers. Why don't they just sell 1-year tourist visas for, say £500, increase their income ten-fold and save us all a lot of hassle? They won't do it because this is Thailand (TIT).

[Posted to Visa Run by David]

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