Pattaya: City of Whoremongers

Jon says:

It must be ironic. In the post-ironic sense.

Blazing Fire says:

Where can I get my beard tornado'd like that guy's? Dude represents!

Rick H. says:

It's not surprising. These Egg TV idiots are no different from the expat comment posters on this website who scoff at being labelled as whoremongers and tout the virtues of Thai culture and cuisine as the real reasons they remain in the country. They came to Thailand on an "engineering contract", as they so often claim on Mangosauce, and liked it so much they dedided to stay.

The truth is that if the Thai people decided tomorrow to crack down on prostitution and actively prosecute whoremongers, there would be an exodus of expats leaving the county at a pace rivaling the flow of refugees in Darfur.

You would not be so "crazy about Bangkok" then, would you? Mangosauce would cease to exist and the whoremongers would instead be praising the virtues of Filipino society, Paraguayan society, etc. BrazilSauce....Crazy about Rio. KhmerSauce...Crazy about Phnom Penh.

Egg TV just (unknowinly) exposed the self dillusions of many. Yeah, YOU too.

Grunt says:

Im afraid to ask if David has been to the Dog Bollocks Pub for other then research related reasons.

philH says:

The average denizens of the Dog's Bollocks are a bunch of single cell life forms with a collective IQ that would make an amoeba seem like Oxbridge graduate material.

That Egg TV found someone in there with the ability to string more than three words together is an accomplishment in itself. To find one that can utter a sentence without fuck, or it's derivates, appearing every other word is astonishing.

I doubt very much if anyone at city hall is jumping for joy at this promotional piece of TV. This sort of 'documentary' has been done before and always edited to maximise the negative. It's a piss take for sure.

btw they wear those chunky rings to avoid scratching their knuckles dragging them down the street.

Dana says:

"You would not be so "crazy about Bangkok" then, would you? Mangosauce would cease to exist and the whoremongers would instead be praising the virtues of Filipino society, Paraguayan society, etc. BrazilSauce....Crazy about Rio. KhmerSauce...Crazy about Phnom Penh.d"

Ok fine; but you are going to have to help my tiny brain here. What is your point? I only go to Thailand for one reason. There is no other reason to go to a post agrarian 3rd world developing (?) xenophobic racist violent mean society. I know why I am going and I am not delusional or defensive about it. If it all goes down the shitter I'll go somewhere else. What else would you expect? What is your tiresome point? Are all of you worldly smartmouths expecting us to stay at home and date the girl next door? Are you serious? Have you ever seen the girl next door in America? If you want to rail against some mechanism or some people you think are contributing to the diminuation of your world of high standards perhaps you should throw rocks at the aviation industry that makes these new migrations possible.

sniffer says:

What's going on in Paraguay that we should know about? Details, please

Andy says:

Rick, maybe you're suffering "dillusions" of knowing wtf you're talking about?
If the Thai people were to crack down on whore-mongering and prostitution tomorrow, they would go bankrupt within about a week.
You are a typical PC liberal apologist wanker who thinks that any dissolute trait of a country or culture is owed to insidious Western influence.
Grow up, you fucking student prick. ;-)

seesaw says:

Er... Nothing to say really. Just wanted to add a comment to an article before dicer started spouting his alpha dog whispering male shite.

the man with no name called dave says:

What the hells the big deal, ppl are old enough and wise enough(we hope) to be able to make up their own minds.If people want to chase whores in Pattaya let them!don't get up on your high horse and spout morals,(ooh it's exploitive! ooh it's not right, ooh it causes untold mental anguish!)Whatever the reason you're here for or the reason you pretend to be here for, be it the temples, Thai culture, the smiles blah blah blah live and let live, don't always be too quick to judge others, take a long hard look at yourself first before you cast the first stone.

bangkokram says:

That video is so wrong on so many levels. Fuckhead talks about "The Sun" and "The News of the World". Let it go lads. If you shit like these rags, stay in Blighty.

The twats are only cm's above Chav Scum and as far as the made up Hippie goes, he's so fucked up.

This vid will do Bangkok Tourist Board no harm, let all the mindless fuck wits like what appear in this trailer go to Pattaya.

Anonymous says:

You idiot white men think that Thai rely on sex tourism only???? That is a very stupid assumption. Your little bird shit brain can not think, can't you.

Isaan girl

Sadbastard says:

Waitaminute ... (rewinds clip) ...
POOLY RESEARCHED.
Yep. I thought it said that. Pooly typeset, too.
There is much to treasure here. I feel like I've just watched the entire director's cut and the making-of back to back.
I especially love the fat slapper who says she "fe-yuwls mach safer 'ere than in Landan" Right. I wonder why.

Julius says:

I kinda liked the video myself.

Charles Edward Frith says:

No country in the world would invite tourists into their country if money wasn't involved. Incidentally Pattaya has the unhappiest people (excluding the prostitutes, who are professional smilers) I've ever come across outside of Bangkok. I mean the ones who make a living out of the tourist industry but not a killing. The silent resentment is practically visceral and although I can understand it. I don't take the man's dollar for it.

Jack Wow says:

Well, these guys have convinced me that Pattaya's really cleaned up its image. I'm going to recommend Dog's Bollocks to the Lonely Planet for their "Drinking" section, along with that weirdo's beard for "On a shoestring accomodation".

Mr Thaksin, BKKchat.org says:

let em ave it Dicer lad.

its always been shitesville that place.

Buttttt !!! still great little boxes.

Thaxo.

Chico says:

The Dogs Bollocks.. quality. Given Pattaya has cleaned up its act, I think I might take my Mum there on her next trip to Thailand. :P

I dont think it is humanly possible to find worse human scum to interview. In that respect EggTV did a sterling job. Hardly a true representation of Thailand..

canipsi says:

this has to be a piss take...
although i am sure that i have seen the bearded weasel somewhere before.

tonychang says:

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/PATTAYA-CITY-OF-SMILES-
THAILAND-DVD-EBAY-ONLY-FILM_
W0QQitemZ190046466940QQihZ009QQ
categoryZ41594QQssPageName
ZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem?
hash=item190046466940

Dicer says:

"let em ave it Dicer lad." - Thaxo

"I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television" - Gore Vidal

Of course they are Saxon scums who would have chased for Celtic arse from county to county and missed the evolutionary bus instead, and somehow ended up in Pattaya. From mushy peas no fluffland to a noodle based kink utopia.

The confused neutered guys show up in Pattaya with no idea about anything and end up with a Lao peasant. David Flores who is a phd in philo from princeton was a consultant in bkk and was recently spotted leaving a Pattaya bar hand in hand with a big 40is Lao who used to be the cleaning lady in a government office. This is the guy who ate noodle every day with his fingers. Scary right from the beginning and feels right at home in Pattaya.

Years ago Pattaya was a nice friendly place. First the clueless rice girls were replaced by hardup no fooling ones. The no fooling were blended with the kinky ones and a whole cast for an abnormal psychology manual were born. Then somewhere in the late 90s the Khmer invasion came. The Cambodian girls homed in on Pattaya. These three groups reshaped the place into a wierd tantra arts centre. Throw in a layer of Jap, Pakistani and Russian mafs on lamb. And then the Marines on Cobra maneuvers. Peppered with the Tokyo traders who organise 3 day parties in one of those time share Jomtien villas, gathering up as many cute hookers in town, booze and drugs and police doormen. To add to the comedy are the stoney faced attendants of the countless govt and international conferences who sit through the tedium of a menopausal hag's lecture only sustained by the thought of the after noddling BJ. And then throw in the Russian family holiday makers who love the place. The bleedin Russians. They've done exactly the same thing in Hurghada in Egypt. Those of you who dribble at the site of Uzbeki and Ukrainian tarts at the Grace Hotel (I see Grunt looking up) should try Hurghada.

Now you rent a beaten up canvas lounge chair on the beach and the rental people run around to get you cold beer and food and what not. You disappear into a book and lookup a while to see the curved horizon of the Pattaya Bay and wonder how all these people came to be in one place. As it gets dark it gets even more sinister, esp after midnight. Well a port town so what do you expect? Can even end up RIP.

More than Pattaya itself I used to enjoy the trip to Pattaya on the bus. You spot the mamasans in mismatch coloured 1930s outfit fussing over their new tartlet recruits who suck up all the attention they are given. The bus stops and the mamasan brings a popsicle here, sawdust sausage there, a soda after and sweet words on what awaits. Masters of bamboozling these ladies.

And then somewhere is Dana (and his followers) rearranging a Pattaya hotel room, if not the vertiginious DNA of a wandering katoey. Taking out door knobs and walking around with garden plants. About a year ago in Pattaya I actually saw one of these people who function like a warning label about what might happen moving a plant into his hotel room. Didn't realise then that it was one of the Danians at work. Which brings us to socialisation.

One of the classic Milan shows was a new dolg that brought into a home with an existing dog. The initial introduction of the two was disasterous. The owners assumed the dog would figure it all out on its own. Cesar says humans have to know more than the dogs, basic common sense and be informed about dog behaviour before we bring them home. Dogs are able to sense our state-of-mind and confidence levels and if they sense that we aren’t in control, they will perceive us as weak. Now think of Dana's operation to cure the tart vexation and the stupid arrangements. You get dog to dog aggressive. Think of a home with animals that had no rules, boundaries, or limitations. Because there was no balance in the pack, they end up acting out and get blamed for “bad” behaviour. Cesar says the problems existed before the dog even arrived. Or he hired the hooker.

When it is out of control you can generally calmly get out the door first and 'glide'. You will find for instance low status poor self esteem women queue jumping or misfit foreigners itching for a fight. Cesar would touch them (not jerk) and then make a no no expresssion in teaching mode. When this happens to mutants they start hissing Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. The misfits would trash about. As Ceasar (the other one) would say the Denial and Dogma army willingly believe what they wish.

Here's the point. In the Philippines and Mexico, social is easy and everyone including the foreigner is asked to join. You are socialised as a full member of any group until you really make a mess of things and do anti group behaviour, unlike the Spanish who won't let you in unless you marry someone in the family or the US where there are no groups to begin with. Or Thais who will never let you in unless you ARE a) together on drugs b) in Pattaya and c) the idiot farang who pays for and slavishly carries the beer Chang to the laughing village lumpen.

We are melting into myth like it or not...and the locals in Pattaya are snickering in the wings. In a mindless place like this ALPHA of course is a cure for the moment. You realise this when you see too many tattoo riddled moronic criminals who perhaps think Chlamydia could be a Latin sounding name fit for their Pattaya daughter. Pattaya the comedy waiting for Borat. Let's see life as the cartoon it is where the locals seem to have been trained in some Romanian school of the absurd...vast hooker farms and govt conferences side by side...voila.

SPQR_US says:

Funny...

As if there was the faintest doubt about Pattaya being the "Costa Del Crime” that has now been laid to rest.

------
The proprietor of the Dog's Balls is the best:

"None of what is said about this being a whorist’s Mecca is true I tell ya! Further not everyone here owns a bar full of hookers (like him apparently)."

He goes on:

"And just as I proclaimed from within a Pattaya brothel that I am not a sexpat in a city full of sexpats; all of our bar girls are checked for HIV."

Oh well I am glad that that crazy German guy with the Rasta beard set it all straight...
------

I want to know what that flat "slapper" was doing in the picture. I went with my wife to Pattaya this year for the 1st time neither of us had ever been there before. We both expected it to be basically an open brothel town on the beach and we weren't surprised.

However the sheer volume of the bar scene was truly remarkable. In a word Pattaya makes the old Barbary Coast look like a cleaned up ride at Disney Land.

I'm not being critical in any way; I am just telling it like it is.

chris says:

now thats funny,the guy saying he knows no one infected ,i mean come on.we all know pattaya too well,but mabye now ive changed my mind after hearing from the the owner of dogs bollocks.

Col says:

Dana,
You are most unkind: I rely on the Thai aviation industry to provide me with beer vouchers and rental money.
The Dog's Bollocks is a place - it is a place that proves that evolution does not happen in a consistent fashion.
But at least we know where to avoid!.

Col says:

Isaan Girl,
Nice one!.
You aren't my current Ms C by any chance?.
Certainly sound the same...........
And no, I ain't here for the whores, culture, temples or anything else.
I'm here for the loot and the laugh.
Pip-Pip.

Mr Thaksin, BKKchat.org says:

ahhhhhhhh pattayaaaaaaaa....

When soi 8 only had 4 bars on it, and when you could'nt make it more than 10 feet from your hotel reception door without 20 LBFM's dragging you into their bar and ripping your clothes off.

Them days you never ever made it to the end of your soi let alone down to marine Disco.
Unless you were an Olympic sprinter.

Now you can look like Brad Pitt and walk around that place all night without ever being accosted even once.

They call it progress, but really you had to be be there at the time to ever really get it now.
Sadly them times gone forever.

The cut off point came in summer of 97, it was of course already steadily going down hill before that for some time.
But after that summer the old Pattaya disappeared forever.

Thaky history lesson over.

God!!!! l'm such a romantic sod sometimes.

Thaxo.

Dick Renegade says:

Pattaya is where the US Navy sends troops for R&R. The girls there are cheaper, darker skinned, generally older, and more used.

Pataya is great for clubbing as long as you bring a girl from Nana with you. I would reccomend avoiding the girls in Pataya and bringing in Bangkok talent.

Pants Elk says:

Thaxo; wow! You were then back in the day! When it was fantastic! Before everything got fucked up!
Thanks for Backpacker Bullshit Number One. I always love hearing it.

Grunt says:

"Dogs are able to sense our state-of-mind and confidence levels and if they sense that we aren’t in control, they will perceive us as weak." - lady dicer, the often wrong

versus...

"Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all fours..." - Anton LeVey, Satanic Bible

HIDE THE SHEEP!

Blazing Fire says:

Aaah, Pattaya...

Land of the "pier waif", as my 'old snake head' (thao hua ngu) friend used to call them. Go-Go bars with nice little hotel rooms upstairs. Round the clock good grub, entertainment and 'tang. What else do ya need?

Willie Wonkers all Wonkers says:

Wonkers all Wonkers!

Pattaya was great when I went for the first time, but it got all ruined when people who weren't there before me started to turn up.

Chuff me, things are always great when I see them for the first time but why do they always become shit when other people get involved?

Maybe it's because one of these johnny come latelys got wonked off by the bird that I was sending 10,000 bts a month to. She swore blind that she was only dancing and serving drinks. It just not right when the girl you love starts shagging someone who turned up after September 1997.

It just ain't fair y'know?

tingtawng says:

Pattaya gets very tiring after one day there. You realise everything's on a 24 hour tape-loop. Granted, it's a nice little getaway place from BKK. But I don't understand guys that actually live there. Do they wake up on their 457th day in Pattaya invigorated and renewed by the anticipation of yet another night of boozing and whoring?

They must be demon golfers/banana boat riders or simply alcoholics.

Roberto E. Lee says:

Even the comments on this post have devolved as quickly as the denizens and drovers of backpackers and girls (respectively) in Pattaya.
Let's see exactly what happened:
Rick H. - I hate your website, but love contributing. (off topic)
Dana - Truisms
Isaan Girl - Blames the 97 crash on ghosts and astrology instead of Thais' dependence (yes, dependence) on outsiders.
Dicer - evolutionary psychology from National Geographic
Thaky - slept with 7000(?!) Chula girls, and twice that number in Pattaya...in the good ole' days.

Looks like all the thematic bases are covered - but wait, do I see some room for a continental advocate? Let's find out:
The men who get suckered into the arms and nether regions of girls in Pattaya are making the choice to scratch that itch (pun oh so intended). It might not exactly be the evolutionary drive some attribute it to (have you ever felt the urge to fuck with the same intensity as to yawn? Heh, I'll yawn in front of your mom for free, but it would take some cold, hard, conscious incentive to fuck her on the dining table.)
And the girls, as the argument often goes, may not be the victims we love to portray them to be. Perhaps the families could survive and subsist without doing this disservice to their collective gene pool. And maybe, just maybe, it's the need for UBC and hundred pipers that's appealed for in whining tones that encourages girls to do what they do.

Consequentially, who exactly is doing something -wrong-?
A: The police, whose job is to enforce laws that protect citizens and tourists from themselves?
B: Human traffickers, who may in fact make victims of girls promised lives of hotel management and accountancy?
C: The mamasans? Just because they're often vile and pollute everything with a Midas touch. They ought to be blamed too.

Demand doesn't create supply, but rather supply drives demand. Therefore, blame the locals to get off scot-free with a clear conscience.

Thailand Observer says:

The goofball with the "tornado" beard is an artist who actually paints with his beard and actually gets people to buy his paintings. Just one of the more colorful Pattaya personalities:

http://thepoorhouse.org.uk/beard_artistry

Pants Elk says:

While Googling for The Artist Known As Marco Figgen, the search engine (spookily aware of the genesis of the request) asked me:
"Did you mean: Marco Friggin"

Mr Thaksin, BKKchat.org says:

Sadly one has to correct jealous posters lines here more than actually chatting on subject matter.

L'll have you know that all the Pattaya gals used to slip me their hard shagged baht under the table to me in order for them to save face and in effect force me under duress to bar fine them.

ahhhhhhhh pre 97 days, them'ssssssss were the days.

God l'm even more romantic than l thought.

Thaxo.

Dicer says:

"Satan represents man as just another animal, ..." - Grunt, the unimaginative

Whatever has the "black sheep of the MS family" quoting Revelation I think it doesnt go past the search for a Ukranian benchmark.....is she doing her job right? Am I getting what I want? Most of all as I'm railing against diffuse topics what do I want? The answers to these questions are not here in MS. Maybe consulting a series of Ukrainian tarts could help him arrive at the much desired benchmark numbers for the first question...and erm no this is not satan talking....

http://www.garoweonline.com/stories/
publish/article_5762.shtml

Maybe if Grunt was this guy he'd stop bitching about feminazis and go on about khat high marauding Somalis.

jk_in_bkk says:

Check this site to keep up to speed with the daily goings on in Skuzville.

Between the road traffic deaths, murders, suicides, muggings, bar fights, you might find a 'kitten up a tree story' to bring a moment of sanity to this hive of low life activity.

Those guys in the Egg TV promo are clearly sincere in their belief that Pattaya is not the hell hole portrayed by the media.

Thing is, if you're submerged in shit for long enough, you become de-sensitized to the stench!

http://www.pattayacitynews.net/news_update.html

Pants Elk says:

More on the Backpacker Bullshit No. 1:

"I discovered Disney World when it was unknown, before the rides were built."

"Venice was great before they filled the streets with water ..."

etc.
etc.

Dicer says:

http://www.pattayacitynews.net/news_23_10_49_4.htm

So the judge will sentence him to be shampoo aisle person at Tops Pattaya.

Seeing the litany of homicides and general stuff I remembered in astrocartography Pattaya's coordinates allignments makes October the worst month for many people. Difficult to qualify that "many". I find that October in general is not the best month in LOS while Nov often is.

Dicer says:

oops...this is what I meant.

http://www.pattayacitynews.net/news_23_10_49_4.htm

Andy says:

I always think that with so many Thais successful at "fleeing the scene" of accidents, why Thailand isn't better represented at the Olympics or even Asian Games in the sprinting events?
Can anyone suggest a sporting event that Thailand could really clean up in?

Might even be a welcome distraction from the stick vs notstick soap opera? ;0)

Sunglasses Ron says:

Connect 4?

Dicer says:

"Can anyone suggest a sporting event that Thailand could really clean up in?" - Andy

Before dealing with the Thais how about Tug-O-Ego between Galt and Stick supporters. For added fun, place the centre of the rope over a spinning sewer, say a wide manhole. Who touches the water in the vortex first loses.

Re Thais...

Queue jumping in 7-11 may inspire one in Olympics. Thais would do fairly well in the Asian Games getting silver behind China and Korea. To get Thais to run from a scene you have to have the scenario: small stores and have them try to flee when alarms go off.

Other Olympic ideas:

Sing out of tune karaoke songs with gusto

Stay defocused in front of a black board with no reaction for hours

Potlatch with Koncept furniture: spontaneous plastic furniture burning

Sport practiced only by women (unless some want to flex their rear muscles): Patpong Pingpong ...

Another sport practiced by women... Creative sneering...or making faces.

Eat a kilo of sticky rice (or durian) and stay awake the longest.

Drinking a fish sauce concoction without wincing.

Mungdaa target practice game. Who can pop the most hooker-freeloading Thai men....the tarts would love this one.

Tarts who have shagged as many nationalities including men from Kazakhstan and Moldova. They'd have to produce signed letters from punters to prove it.

Unfortunately other games like the ability to sleep on buses or stand upright all day as aisle girls do doesn't spark much interest in the Olympics. One game that is unlikely to catch on in Thailand is pantomimes. A visiting kraut once walked into Tesco and proceeded to look for the hand soap aisle stomped around, but couldn't find it so asked one of the aisle girls. The aisle girls are there to stop you from stealing and not help you find goods so the girl clueless and terrified of the tua yai albino fled the scene, only to bring the "farang handler" a while later. Farang Handler is the unluckist person in the store, usually a Rajhabat English grad....everyone probably thinks she'll get seven years of bad karma for it. Anyway there she came with a couple of onlooking peons and the geezer again said "hand soap" several times, but nobody understood. Frustrated, he pantomimed hand washing and said very slowly "so--o-p fooor haaa-aaand." The deputy manager joined in and they're all looking at this crazy foreigner doing things with his hands. They looked down at the hand looked up at the face and several vacant if not inscrutable faces murmured what sort of spell this alien witchdoctor was casting. By this time other nosey shoppers are gawking too. And for no particular reason a short, bespectacled, porky and profusely sweating Chinese fella snapped, "eeeh laang muu.... mister toilet over there." Obviously this is the genius of the group.

Maybe in a nationwide TV panto-game some of these geek Chins would clean up....There is Noi doing the slurp noodle panto to the camera and contestants shout: putting lipstick on..... no, blow job, no no, breathing, no, throwing up.....no and there is porky..."eating noodeN." Followed by applause and cheerleaders beating their wings.

One last category, sport practiced without equipment (other than equipment which is worn): full contact origami perhaps? Or maybe David's Pattaya men in Velcro seam pants could get creative here....

And my all time fav the Thais are guaranteed to clean up in: The Non-Sequitur Conversation Olympics.... you have contestants seat in front of each other and they start a conversation on a given topic and make sudden, artful and crafty diversion, digression and deviation, but no hesitation....a bit like that BBC Radio 4 game Just a Minute hosted by Nicholas Parsons, only here you do the opposite.

Dicer says:

Thought more about this one:-

"Tarts who have shagged as many nationalities including men from Kazakhstan and Moldova. They'd have to produce signed letters from punters to prove it."

This shag-cultura agility Olympics contest could lead to sporting tarts flocking to Kao San to buy forged portfolio of letters written by Kazakhs and Moldovans not to mention other nondescript nationalities. Nit goes to the wrinkly ladyboy forger right in front of the 7-11 and asks: " I want fucking letter from Kon Modofa...." and forger would have to first figure out where Moldova is and then find a way of forging a Moldovan writing an English letter of recommendation addressed to the International Olympics Committee... listing the hotel room antics of Nit....

Now what the forger would do is google "Moldova men" to find a site called Moldova personals like this one http://www.adultsingles.com/browse/md_men.html

And the forger would choose say Verbinski who says he is "seeking a woman from 20 till 40" perfecto...the more desperate the bloke the better.

Forger sends an email to Verbinski with a request to write a jerk off letter and there it is. The next day Nit gets her believable letter and fake postmarked envelop. That will be 500 baht... Who said Thai criminals are not creative?

In slimeland creative energy is usually expended on the evil and the criminal so the above scenario is perfectly plausible. Conversely speaking if you asked same wrinkly ladyboy forger to write a half page composition about Moldova after the research as a kind of positive mental excercise he'd look at you like the nutter you are. On the other hand ask him how you can scam Moldovan men with mail brides and he'd spark up and starts drawing a plan that rivals that of a Russian space mission.

Habanero!

Andy says:

Nice work, Dicer. Rather made me chortle through my Coco Crunch this morning.

ozricmann says:

jeeze, what a bunch of lowlives its getting so bad that some of those scum are setting up in phuket now...yes there is a dogs bollocks bar in patong beach and its also owned by a tattooed oik, well i hardly think someone with an ounce of dencency or intelligence would open up a bar in a sex tourist area let alone call it the dogs bollocks. Its a sad day indeed when those scum move out of pattaya in thier droves there must be something we can do to stop them from spreading to othe tourist parts of thailand.

ok i can see that if i went somewhere where thier were no sex workers it would be fine but there seems to be sex workers in many places in thailand.
does anyone actually go to pattaya not to fuck bar girls.... i sure that guy in the dogs bollocks is there for 1 reason and 1 reason only......i mean what kind of reaction do these oiks expect from decent tourists when these oiks wear england shirts with bollocks on it and call thier bars the dogs bollocks and other such names. well i suppose thai chav scum will breed foreign chav scum.

someone posted a comment on this site before about some of us being stuck up our own arses about pattaya being a hell-hole.......well it seems as thought visual proof was needed to show once and for all that the rotarian types amongst mangosauce readers were absolutly right.

daniel says:

david...
... are you just crazy about bangkok or are there any other parts of thailand you like very much i take it hua hin is right out of the equasion.

issan girl wrote...
..You idiot white men think that Thai rely on sex tourism only???? That is a very stupid assumption. Your little bird shit brain can not think, can't you.

issan girl...
you are so eloquent in your grammar but i must say...
1.have you ever been to pattaya...?
2.you only need one question mark if you want to go over on the exclaimation marks feel free to go right ahead but please, only the one question mark, thanks.

Common Sense says:

Dicer,

For once I actually found a bit of humor in yet another of your long diatribes. I have a few more suggestions for the Thai Olympic Committe.

1. Having the girls from Carnival in Nana Plaza compete in no handed mechanical bull riding. The mamasan would be the captain of the team. (The skinny one not the fat one.)

2. A revised version of javelin throwing involving Pattaya hookers with larger blow guns and lawn darts.

3. A competition to see who could fleece the most money out of farangs. (This would be a year long event to even the playing field)

The Cat's Whiskers says:

The Dog's Bollocks Bar and most of the other Pattaya Bars I know, are really OK. I was a regular customer at the Dog's Bollocks in the late 90ies (1997, '98, '99) and the people are tolerant and helpful. You can't find that on sleazy Khao San Road in Bangkok. The Dog's Bollocks Bar was for me a place to meet people with a cheerful background of good music and cold Carlsberg for a reasonable price.

I spent probably 6 month of my life in Pattaya and I do not completely agree with that what they say in the trailer of their image video but anyway I feel a thousand times safer in Pattaya as I do in Rio de Janeiro, Sao Paulo, Manila, some parts of Paris or Madrid, Sevilla, Jamaica, Lisbon, Caracas, Milan, Hackney, Peckham, etc. etc. etc. Crime, drugs and prostitution are definitely not a typical problem for the Thai society and for Pattaya. These problems are worldwide. But prostitution is for sure not always a problem. It is a blessing for the suitor and the girl, if both want it.

I totally agree with that, what Chris, the chubby bloke in the video said. A typical Sex-tourist is a person which comes to Thailand first time. After a while you go back to normal life.
The last time when I was in Asia I spent my time exclusively at so-called Sex Tourist places like Angeles City on the Philippines, Bangkok or Pattaya but I had within 3 month probably less Sex than an average catholic priest at the Vatican in the same time and at that time I was only 33 years old and not 60something. The reason for that is simple: I just enjoy to go out with my mates and have a beer with them while playing pool billiards. Pattaya and all other so-called Sex-Tourist paradises in tropical South East Asia are the right places for that, because they offer, except beaches and nice weather, loads of bars and customers which share the same interests.

You see it on my grammer and spelling that I am not English (I'm Austrian) but I have no tattoos and no criminal record. Sorry for some writers here but their stereotypes definitely don't work in my case. :-(

marklatham says:

I first went to pattaya in 1978 and you know what-there were too many girls.
I go back in 2006 and there are now far too many girls.
And many of them look very ordinary to my old eyes.
However i did enjoy R and R there after the desperation of cambodia.
The thais were great.

Dicer says:

For once I actually found a bit of humor in yet another of your long diatribes. - Common Sense

It was an accident...wont happen again.

Spoon says:

God i can't wait to get back to Soi 6 at Christmas.

Errant says:

You write, 'I can't decide whether "Pattaya: City of Smiles" is a witty and ironic parody of sexpat life in Thailand's sleaziest city or...'

No need to end the contemplation there. I can't decide whether Thailand itself is a witty and ironic parody of human civilization as we know it. I'm waiting for a gangly, mustachioed Jew to step up and pronounce the whole thing a joke. But it never happens.

TANAI KWAI says:

"Posted by Errant"

Holy cow, is this the Errant of old?

Welcome back!!!

Best,
TK

Zak says:

Why are these right on, studenty, backpacker types in Pattaya in the first place? Is it in an "ironic" sense? Is it to "sample" an aspect of Thai life that they will later go on to disparage "oh, I didn't go in to the bar beers, I just had a drink in the Irish Bar in Walking Street"?

When will these horrible middle class, freeloading daddy's money, backpackers realise that all of Thailand (even Isaan to a small extent) is a huge tourist destination? It is what it is. Do your research on this aspect of Thai life before spouting your Kho San Road, Round the World air ticket inanities.

MrClis says:

Oh, come on guys...Pattaya's not that bad.
I will say, however, that my Pattaya is probably as different to yours as yours is to mine.
I've been here 8 years now and the lure of Beach Road ended a good 7 1/2 years ago.
Pattaya for me is good shopping, easily accesable restaurants of every type, interesting characters, cheap beer and nice beaches (although I don't get to them as often as I should).
I tend never to get nearer to Beach Road than Sai 3 and enjoy the Thai places much more than the holidaymaker venues but, will admit to an occaisional visit to an entertainment spot, just for laughs and giggles, so to speak.
Pattaya is an easy and enjoyable place to live for a Westerner....but have ever noticed how often that dreadful word 'farrang' crops up in the local's conversations?
Earwig a little next time you're down here.......

Andy says:

I love Pattaya. Its a lot better and more honest than most tourist destinations in LOS. With the added bonus of not being beseiged by inclusive 10% service charges (note how shit service can really get, when the "tip" is guaranteed?), and Bangladeshi touts.
Pattaya is great for shopping, recreation, drinking and last but not least;- shagging! Lowest Common Denominator, but so what? When your prostate packs up, there's always plenty of affordable golf courses to sedately traipse around.
Pattaya is like a scab, unpleasant-looking, and slightly horrible; but you have to back and have another play at it. ;-)

Dicer says:

The talk about Chinese hotel orgies brings a fresh perspective to Pattaya. Years ago colleagues in a Jap company decided to do a Pattaya party. Two of the "sachos" (section heads) had purchased a time share holiday villa in Jomtien. With a little huggling we managed to get a walled in three villa compound with shared pool for a week. Catering was given to a five star hotel and the booze was sorted out by a local supplier; cop doormen were paid for to smooth things over with the law. One of the colourful office chaps suggested they procure the services of a resourceful local mamasan to round up the supercutest tarts from 50 or so beer bars for a 2 day fee (say 7K each). The party would start on a friday and continue until sunday when any number of a network of colleagues and clients could pop in and out of the villas in between games of golf or just do brief evening appearances from Bangkok. Hooker fests are old hat so in conjunction with a mischivious Jap colleague I devised a plan to make this more of a social event; by asking them to invite office tarts from bkk and two client offices, but no Saxon wenches. Everyone thought this a bad idea at first, but they were pursuaded to go along with it. Now this was a great chance to see if it would result in: a) a social collision between bar girls and office tarts b) the blokes would snub the rice hookers and go for bkk chinese upstarts c) everyone would get along nicely, and d) some other social configuration I had not anticipated.
On the appointed friday afternoon three separate groups of office tarts arrived in vans from bkk and so did said village hookers on songteows. After a sizeable majority of the guests had assembled I started to walk around and observe what was going on. It became all too apparent that once the office tarts had done their customary hellos to colleagues and devoured the food and drinks they regressed to their usual snitty ways to only gather poolside for a spot of tongue-lash stick yur nose up on the bar girls . All the male and esp Nihon blokes, however, totally ignored the office tarts and chatted with the village hookers instead. A few of us even started cracking jokes with the village girls at the expense of these bkk Chinese snits. Before midnight they'd all chipped off one by one. Mutant incompatibility... there is nothing worse!

If you provide village tarts with more cash than they can get anywhere else and all the food and drink they can consume (here a crafty chap saw to it that there was all the quality local food for the Issan birdies) and ask them to be nice to everyone you'd soon realise that they don't have much not to be nice about. In fact the Issan bunch are convivial and in humour so they coast right along with the group. Not all, but most of the bkk Chinese girls and the Centrals on the other hand had permanent sneers on their faces even expensive cocktails couldn't wipe off.

Of course many blokes disappeared with a favoured sao in tow, but the whole thing had a suburban home party feel to it as opposed to the Chins and Japs Shanghai company orgies that often resemble (we're told) the post grooming frenzy of afroalpine baboons. The whole thing slowly wound down on sunday, by which time most of us were either golfing or already back to the usually grimy bkk.

One then asks, why were the village hookers more pleasant than the so called "educated" office tarts. The answer is of course that village people have been socialised to the extent that they do not consider themselves better suited to any particular event or person. Also your typical average bkk Chiense sao has a caged upbringing that deprives her of the mandatory experience of a range of human behaviour to come out all rounded and pleasant. As we all knew these late twenties office tarts had barely stored their teddy bears in the loft and removed the braces, but were still imbued with kiddy antics unsuited to a party of this sort.

Also I say blanket "Issan girls," but even with those bunch there is variation. Tarts from Chayapoum, Nakon Sawan and Korat tend to be as edgy as their central cousins while the Sisaket, Buriram and other border bunch tend to have more feely touchiness to them. All in degrees. As Leopold and Loeb said It's only when you look at tarts through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realise how often they burst into flames.

Having said that though all of these impervious tarts in Pattaya experience only a tiny bit from the wide spectrum of human behaviour. One would like to think that they actually experience all the human freak show, but there is no variation for village people who think they're psychics when what they actually are is inksplattered seasick....only a small amount of strange behaviour can get through them, and even smaller amounts reach the neural ways..... as you walk down the road shoulder to shoulder with the tourist amputees, geri-dribblers, naked albinos, Elephant Man's long lost relatives and a thousand other wierd acting and looking characters, the saos are sat on their stools beckoning all limbless and nutters alike to pop in for a beer. One wouldn't be surprised if the next hordes in Pattaya are the thousand Scandanavian secretaries in Mallorca ready to hump anything alive, even a breathing spanish cactus.

When it comes to vices equality has never been acknowledged more anywhere as it is in Pattaya. Unless of course you are an Indian, in which case a tart can get shirty with you, as she's heard the myth that your two identical twins will jump out of the closet to take turns once you've shagged her to your heart's content.

Pattaya is of course a freak show, but recently, despite the expected crimes it seems to have semi-normalised into a fairly ("honest" as Andy says) tourist destination. Normalisation means less of the all to obvious petty tricks like short changing you two baht and the like, which used to happen in Sukhumvit, say 10+ years ago. Suddenly there is so much exposure to foreigners that a semblance of straight business practice becomes the norm. Those who go to Chiang Mai presently comment that the petty cheating and tricks has reached fever pitch that people notice it all too obviously. A new emerging middle class and a bubble economy seems to have driven the place for worse.
What does the future hold? Let Sulak's Bushido army boys and mini Netchanoks combine and deport every farang lecher and crypto-webmaster in the land, making neolithic lifestyle compulsory, and the country will be a gainer.

Andy says:

Some choice Dicer upstairs^^^

Nice work, m8!

Paul Everett says:

Hi to all!
I am the maker of 'Pattaya city of smiles'

First of all I funded this film myself, the producing, editing, sound, directing, etc all alone of my own back without wanting to make a profit. Just wanted to make that clear.

I made this film mainly to help people who have never been to Pattaya understand how things work.

I have just given 30 copies of the full film to the Jesters children’s charity who are based (www.care4kids.com) in Pattaya to help the people of Pattaya.

Most of you have not even seen the full film, so I am amazed you can all comment in such detail and anger?

I have just returned from Pattaya making the full film longer and more interesting using comments from the people who viewed it and what they wanted to see, as I only had two weeks in which to make it the first cut.

The people of Pattaya have been so grateful in the fact I have tried my best to make a film with a difference and not the negative type of film most TV companies make when they visit Pattaya, lets face it, its not easy to shot some bar girls and put an voice over on over images. TV in the UK will never be interested in my film as it try’s to be promotional rather than dark selling sex, crime, death or somebody’s misfortune, which what us as human beings love. For example Maxim Magazines quoted that Pattaya is one of the worlds most dangerous places to visit! And that 92% of Thai sex worker have Aids! How can this be? The media just want to sell papers to us or programmes on TV so they can sell the adverts, Its hardly ever real! We are all told what we want to hear! In the UK we are brainwashed by the media, they used to be our friends now they are our enemies.

Please don’t knock the film, it’s done to help people and make people understand there is more to Pattaya than just bar girls. I my self do not go there for sex I don’t ever find the girls that nice to honest with you. I go to add to my film when I can and many other reasons.

All we know Thailand in the western world as the place we can all get sex easily, well there is more to this wonderful place and that’s really all I’m saying in my Thai film.

Everybody's got there own opinions on Pattaya and some might agree with me and some might not, that’s ok. One thing I do know is that everybody who has bought my film has loved watching it, which has been sold all over the world and will continue to do so for many years to come, and all the money received will go in to kitty to fund my next trip to go back to add to the film giving some of the videos profits to the charities of Thailand, as you all know giving something to other people who have nothing is an amazing feeling that will always live with me forever!

Please feel free to ask me any questions about the film.

Thanks Paul.

TANAI KWAI says:

"I have just given 30 copies of the full film to the Jesters children’s charity who are based (www.care4kids.com) in Pattaya to help the people of Pattaya."

The "full film"? Good on you. A lesser man would have only given them the trailer.

By no small coincidence, I just gave the same children's charity a dozen Japanese-made "Rabbit Pearl" vibrators. I was going to give them the Chinese knockoff but I had pangs of conscience. Feels good to do good, innit?

Come back soon, David.

Grunt says:

Ok Paul, Ill make you a deal.

Ill watch your movie on one condition.

I want cheesy porn music played for the duration...regardless of any other content.

Prufrock says:

David

Say it isn't so
or
at least
that it's not for long.

Thanks for the sanity.

Prufrock

Loso says:

Funniest bit of commentary i've read in ages - you had me in stitches with this one. I for one love Thailand and Pattaya too (but not all the time - it can be a bit extreme the same way Ibiza or Las Americas Tenerife is a 'bit extreme' to live in).

Plenty nice places nearby to relax though :)

Loving the site as always!

strider says:

Hey guys-all valid comments.Don't it boil down to this-a country & a town is what it is.One man's meat is another man's poison.They're not gonna change to suit you.If it get's you off-enjoy it,if if don't-go somewhere else.

Dicer says:

"One man's meat is another man's poison."

In Pattaya you get sued for low resistance to tainted meat.

I'm Thai says:

Whatever ones think about Pattaya, it is still Pattaya. This city is a mix of many things, and it is absolutely not a reflection of Thailand (at all). If one doesn't like it , stay away. If not, go for it, stay with it and stick with it. It is a waste of time quarrelling.

My personal opinion - I'd rather stay far far away.

Danny Boy says:

Whoever says they don't go to Pattaya for sex with bargirls is a complete nonce.

Road Natzi says:

I'm Thai,

I couldn't agree with you more. I made the mistake of going to Pattaya in July 2006 for a brief stay.....never again, that place has really gone down hill in the last 10 years, actually it would be a bit longer than that when I was last there.

I would rather stay away myself, what a shit hole. The joint is littered with loser farang tools.

Dannyboy, I didn't go there for sex, you clearly have one thing on ur mind (not that that's a bad thing), but some people go there for business, to visit family, for sight seeing, by mistake etc). I took my missus and most certainly wouldn't cruise that place for a dose of HIV.

What you probably meant Dannyboy, is that Pattaya is the only place you can get any sex.

Steve says:

What a crock. I live in Pattaya, and I know for a FACT these girls are not tested every 15 days, if ever at all.

I personally know of 3 girls who have HIV and are still working. The bars do not test, the mamasans do not care, its all about the money.

Pattaya is the most dangerous city in all of Thailand for tourists. Crime is at an unbelievable high. Muggings, rapes, drugs, jewelry snatching, murder, beatings... it's bad news here. However, you do not normally see this, but we do see it on the news every day.

Money is #1 here. Don't let anyone, or any show tell you otherwise.