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July 13 2006

One Night in Bangkok: Lyrics & cheesy video

one night in bangkok

Despite being banned in Thailand, One Night in Bangkok is a go go bar anthem and, on any given night in Patpong, Nana Plaza or Soi Cowboy you'll hear it played many times.

Murray Head's cheesy 1980s video rendition is wickedly funny (unintentionally, of course) and we'll have a giggle at that later.

Ostensibly the rantings of a prudish chess master, One Night in Bangkok is stuffed with sexual innuendo and it's hard to believe that the song was penned by those nice beardy blokes from ABBA (with a bit of help from Tim Rice).

Benny and Bjorn obviously know their way around Bangkok so it's no surprise that they subsequently dropped the frumpy Agnetha and sun-dried Anni-Frid like a bad smell.

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One Night in Bangkok

THE AMERICAN:

Bangkok, Oriental setting
And the city don't know what the city is getting
The creme de la creme of the chess world in a
Show with everything but Yul Brynner

Time flies - doesn't seem a minute
Since the Tirolean spa had the chess boys in it
All change - don't you know that when you
Play at this level there's no ordinary venue

It's Iceland - or the Philippines - or Haiti - or this place!

COMPANY:

One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free
You'll find a god in every golden cloister
And if you're lucky then the god's a she
I can feel an angel sliding up to me

THE AMERICAN:

One town's very like another
When your head's down over your pieces, brother

COMPANY:

It's a drag, it's a bore, it's really such a pity
To be looking at the board, not looking at the city

THE AMERICAN:

I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine
Whaddya mean? Ya seen one crowded, polluted, stinking town

COMPANY:

Tea, girls, warm, sweet
Some are set up in the Somerset Maugham suite

THE AMERICAN:

Get Thai'd! You're talking to a tourist
Whose every move's among the purest
I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine

COMPANY:

One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company
I can feel the devil walking next to me

THE AMERICAN:

Siam's gonna be the witness
To the ultimate test of cerebral fitness
This grips me more than would a
Muddy old river or reclining Buddha

And thank God I'm only watching the game - controlling it

I don't see you guys rating
The kind of mate I'm contemplating
I'd let you watch, I would invite you
But the queens we use would not excite you

So you better go back to your bars, your temples, your massage parlours...

COMPANY:

One night in Bangkok and the world's your oyster
The bars are temples but the pearls ain't free
You'll find a god in every golden cloister
A little flesh, a little history
I can feel an angel sliding up to me

One night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble
Not much between despair and ecstasy
One night in Bangkok and the tough guys tumble
Can't be too careful with your company

Here's the rib-tickling video, courtesy of YouTube.com:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5VBdwQZSFk

If you haven't got broadband, try to imagine a high school production of The Wrath of Fu Manchu with an all-white cast taking themselves far too seriously.

See also

She comes home to me

[Posted to TV/Movies by David]

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Readers' comments

chris says:

god thats chessy also that women in it isnt even thai.but all in all a great song cause whenever i hear it im usally in a go go bar with some bird asking me to pay a bar fine.

July 13, 2006 6:04 PM

Dana says:

Simply can not be objective about the song because to be in the Kingdom and to be in a bar and to hear the song is to be in a kind of paradise. Not quite the same now as it used to be because not so many years ago the girls used to be naked but still the song has pull.

July 13, 2006 7:00 PM

Andy says:

The song is banned ;-(?
Seems like everything is banned / censored here now...
One day I'm going to look down and see that the girl sucking my cock has Vaseline all around her mouth.

July 13, 2006 8:37 PM

Jack Howitzer says:

Zombie by The Cranberries seems to be playing in every gogo that I enter. It's odd that an anti-war song written by an Irish feminist has become the bargirls anthem of choice.

July 14, 2006 1:08 AM

Dave says:

More information on that:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chess_%28musical%29

July 14, 2006 10:10 AM

BW says:

This song always brings back memories of New Year's Day in London. I was on a school trip/holiday in 1986-87, and for NYE we of course had to visit Trafalgar's Square. After a pint bottle of vodka, and who knows what else, and kissing countless British girls at midnight, I staggered back to Buckingham Palace and then caught a ride back to my hotel.

Next day, hung over, and late arriving to the musical on the schedule: "Chess". I walked in as the second act had begun, and just then they started playing "One Night in Bangkok".

Never forget it, and to this day it still brings a smile.

July 14, 2006 4:44 PM

nana coco says:

i dont thinkg its good song. its should be banned.

July 17, 2006 1:29 AM

thaidiver says:

This song has to be the worst music ever recorded. When I hear this song in Thailand I actually feel embarassed for whomever wrote it, and wish I could crawl under a rock until it is over. The lyrics are just bad and it's just a stupid sophmoric tune.

July 18, 2006 9:10 AM

tracey Emin says:

That synth blast is like Pavlov's bell.

I'm all wet now.

July 19, 2006 3:31 AM

Jack Howitzer says:

Sadeness by Enigma is another tune that seems to be played endlessly in the gogo bars.

Are there any bar owners, or ex bar owners, on here that can explain why the same handful of songs are played in such frequent rotation?

August 12, 2006 4:32 AM

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