September 16 2006
Singapore girl, you're a great plate of fries

Looking deliciously tactile in their soft, skin-tight uniforms, the legendary Singapore Girls of Singapore Airlines tend to be graceful ethnic Chinese beauties with impeccably applied makeup and incongruously slutty 1970s first names like Sharon or Tracy.
As she bends to fill your glass, a glimpse of fragrant Singapore Girl cleavage creates the kind of thrill that could make a man stow his tray table involuntarily.
I explored Singapore for the first time this week but, instead of hitting the Singapore Girl mother lode as expected, I unearthed the shocking truth is that pretty girls are as thin on the ground in the streets and malls of this prosperous city state as they are in London or New York.
In Bangkok, the average Skytrain carriage is a beauty pageant on wheels but Singapore's MRT has all the glamour of a cardiologist's waiting room. You might as well read a newspaper - unless you're a grave robber or a chubby-chaser.
Western-style incomes have given rise to Western-style waistlines and, these days, the average Singapore girl can barely fit into her jeans - which might explain why so many choose to become sarong party girls (SPGs).
Certain unkind individuals have pointed out that "Singapore Girl, you're a great way to fly" is an anagram of "pretty ugly Asian gargoyle, air woofer!" so it appears that Singapore Airlines' carefully crafted brand image is in danger of fading.
The company has responded to the crisis by recruiting many of its delightful trolley-dollies from Malaysia and the Singapore Government has pitched in by flinging open the island nation's doors to quality totty from all over Asia.
Sexy Thai girls can enter Singapore without a visa even if it's perfectly obvious that the sole purpose of their trip is to swell the numbers at Orchard Towers - known locally as "four floors of whores."
Unfortunately, dejected Western men can't expect their own governments to follow suit because, despite paying lip service to the free-market, obsolete farang women desperate to hang onto their state-sanctioned monopoly would never allow it.
[Posted to Travel by David]
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Travel
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King Power chief drops Suvarnabhumi clanger
The sleazy charm of Georgetown, Penang
Hua Hin: Spa resort or brothel town?
Singapore's babe drought intensifies
Singapore girl, you're a great plate of fries
Thunder Ranch Shooting Range, Phnom Penh, Cambodia
Western girls hire black studs in Jamaica
The Atlanta Hotel: Bastion of wholesome tourism
Beaches just a taxi-ride from Bangkok
Baby oil catch-me-if-you-can in Bali
Bali travel report: Kuta beach
Horny female sex-tourists in Bali
Paddy's Bar: #1 pick-up joint in Kuta, Bali
T.V. Airbookings: My favourite Thai travel agent
Khao San Road drug sting ordeal
Daytrip to Changi Airport, Singapore
Previously
June 2007
May 2007
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September 2006
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