King Power chief drops Suvarnabhumi clanger

Harry Barracuda says:

If you think Suvarnabhumi is bad, you should try Dubai!

dingdongrb says:

I guess one good think about the long line of stores at the new airport, it's the only place in Thailand, that I'm aware of, where you can buy a bottle of 'Crown Royal'...... Anyone know of anywhere else?

Crown Royal = The best thing that ever came out of Canada. (Since the telephone didn't)

Eniac says:

A Thai Government enquiry will no doubt exonerate everyone except "the expert from Australia."

TANAI KWAI says:

Hilarious graphic.

F King Power. You'd need the world's longest colon in order to run that endless gauntlet of overpriced handbags without soiling yourself.

Cheers,
TK

King Kong says:

Shit before you take-off....?

If I am faced with such a dilemma on one of my trips out of Bangkok, I shall pretend interest in a pair of Dunhill slacks, which should give me enough time to take a dump in the fitting room.

An added pleasure would be to wipe my arse with a Hermes necktie, which Khunying Juwanna Umphmeenao is going to buy as a gift for her 28 y.o. son graduating from a private kindergarten in rural Michigan.

Andy says:

Its best to just dodge behind an artistically-stacked pile of Toblerones to curl one out, if you're caught short.

The long rows of style-over-sense shops are quite a distraction if you have a couple of hours to kill before boarding. (Forget about sitting down somewhere, and eating some sensibly-priced local food, btw).
On the other hand, if you're late or even on time for a flight, they are just an overly drawn-out, badly-planned pain in the fucking arse.

Road Natzi says:

You blokes crack me up. Can't any of you manage to take a shit before you head to the airport. What is it with public toilets, maybe your all looking for those toilet cubicles with the holes in the wall, what are they called again?? (baiting someone to answer).

For fuck sake, take a dump at home before you head to the airport. I think the new Suvarnabhumi is great, I hope its still standing when I return to Thailand the month after next. As for Dubai, that's a fantastic airport, if your bitching about that Mr Barracuda, you should get back into your pool and keep sucking.

The last comment of got for you all, so you can resume bitching is; "If Arseholes could fly, Mango Sauce would be an Airport" Of course David, please take no offence, I'm just referring to some of the cocksuckers that occasionally post only to whinge, lets face it, its an airport, you check ur bag in, get ur passport stamped then get on the fucking plane, it really ain't that hard. As for shitting at the airport, if you want to whinge about that, find some other way of doing it, rather than spewing shit from ur mouths.

Damn that feels good. My apologies to all!

PS: Dingdong, will you ever let go of the telephone thing, u phunny crunt!

dingdongrb says:

Hey Natzi... Nice post... I'm glad you noticed my reference to the phone.

BTW since you won't let us take a chit at the airport, when you get to Thailand let me know. Cuz I want to suck you up my arse, feed you on my chit, and shoot you out my pecker hole...hehe

Better yet, just stay in Dubai since it's so "fantastic". Thailand has enough fat, bald pervs.

Paul says:

do your shitting and eating before you check in. if you go down to the first floor of the monster (you know in the very front where they have that maze of escalators).

There are brand new hardly used bathrooms made of very stylish cinderblocks (classy!).

Also, there is a Thai canteen that serves excellent Thai food at prices only a little bit of what you would pay on the street in down town Bangkok. It is in the very far edge of the ground floor. It is on the edge that is at the end of the 'drive' through' lanes..

Also, there are family mart stores on the public side...

Are people honestly surprised that things cost lots of money air side? Captive audience... supply and demand.... blah

F Stick says:

Yeah and the business class lounges are so far away from the terminals....

That place is just a mall surrounded by planes.

Who the hell wants to buy crap at an airport other than alcohol?

F Stick says:

And isn't "Australian expert" an oxy moron?

D333 says:

Jeez,

Moaner Sauce more like. Mango Sauce is morphing into Bernard Trink these days- What, out of Dinty Moore's Beef Stew in Foodland again?

Shops at the airport? Shocking!

Suvarnabhumi is a stunning piece of modernist architecture which on a number of levels the nation should feel rightfully proud.

It's damned if you do and damned if you don't here. The design is awesome. The exectution riddled with corruption and poor construction- big surprise-this is Thailand, yet they are two entirely separate issues. Squarehead insisted on one of his spurious deadlines to get it open. Against all advice the coup leaders did not have the balls to impose the sensible delay. It would have given fodder to the pro TRT faction, that 'see,they can't handle things like Thaksin could". Big mistake.

The first time I travelled through (two days after opening), it took my breath away and it still does.

Toilets?- the only lack of facilities appears to be in the luggage claim areas.

King Power- whatever they did is hardly intrusive yet guys are wigging out here giving the impression one has to thread one's way through Chatuchak on a Saturday afternoon. Rubbish, try simply strolling past the shops, numpties.

The signage is bad and the taxi set up woeful- just like Don Muang

Contrary to the local farang take- especially in the 'Post and Nation, vistors by and large love it and think it puts most airports around the world to shame- they can be seen all day long taking photos and videos all over it.

Are there painfully long lines at Customs and Immigration? Yes, but once again welcome to Thailand.

A very good friend of mine took the 'all is crap' view of the airport after his first visit. I asked him what specifically his big peeve was. He whinged that 'it was so long from the gate to the luggage claim'. I simply said '...and weren't you on a travelator the whole time?' I got a feeble 'well...yeah'.

And all those morons that are citing the good old days at Don Muang- please don't make me laugh (and I am not too sure that the hairdressers who gave B.J.s isn't just an urban myth) It took about a year to iron all the kinks out of the new Hong Kong airport yet it is now regarded the best in the world.

Bit of a flimsy restart to MS I have to say- perhaps David needs a few weeks to get some momentum going.

All things Summers- does anyone give a rats?

King Power - grumpy old men bitching that they have a problem strolling past the Swatch Watches?

Ms. Netchanok- yawn inducing subject precipitating in stimulating Femi-Natzi or is she a katoey postings- yawn again.

Nana Walk of Shame- that's actually some dodgy territory if you ask me (and I was surpised David re-posted the video). I would think that the majority of MS readers would not want some prick posting videos of them anywhere-regardless of the wife or girlfriend. It's simply a privacy issue and before anyone takes a contrary view, why don't you send in a video of yourself? That is, sat like an idiot in the middle of the day at Nana Plaza- slim pickings at best unless you truly like scraping the bottom of the barrel. I'd be pissed off if someone posted 30 seconds of me walking out of Bang and Olufsen in Paragon in my Sunday best- privacy, boys, a decreasing and therefore valued commodity.

Phuket waitress - ditto

Ms Suriyawong- well David you did open with a bang there. I thought the finer points of the situation were lost and did expect a discourse on the hypocracy and double standards involved but you couldn't resist describing her as 'the big -titted' one, it probably was destined to go down hill. Thank god it ended with 'is she a Katoey?' I was nervous some twit was going to call the divine thing a 'fucking femi-natzi' out of habit.

Many interesting subjects out there so I'll lay a bit of Mike Myer's "Coffee Talk" stylie out there...take thirty seconds and talk amongst yourselves....

Thaksin -
Squarehead's out there on the loose-is he ever going to be charged with anything?

F.B.A. -
The changes in the Foreign Business Act could signal the end to life as many of us know it - will they pass or just be 'left on the table' so they can all save face(cause for optimism of late)

McDonalds-
Ronaldo Macdonaldo's gets its fair share of hottie female staff.Theres an absolute belter who works on Sukhumvit. The current uniform (jeans)gives a very comely rumpy-pumpy look to the butt. Buggar the 60 seconds or your Filet O' Fish is free promotion- can't there be an option? At 61 seconds I'll pay for my food thanks, but could she bend over the counter and enjoy a 'spanking penalty' instead? Now, that would be a happy meal.

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Hi D333

I'm sure you mean well but Thaksin bores me, the FBA has been done to death elsewhere and the McDonalds uniform is frumpy.

Regards
David

Andy says:

The always-scintillating ThaiVisa board has a whole forum section dedicated to nothing but the new airport, for airport thrill seekers and X-treme trainspotting types.

Join up now, and get a chance to win a stylish retro-look, fur-hooded anorak!

King Kong says:

D333 - Did you lose your username and password or otherwise got banned on Thai Visa for being too proper?

D333 says:

King Kong,

Sorry, never once visited Thai Visa so I'm afraid don't get the reference. I am sure it's taking the piss - feel free to do so

David,

Perhaps I was a little subtle. I did not actually mean do a piece on Thaksin or the F.B.A amendments- hence ending up with the idea of spanking a McDonalds babe- each one to his own.

However - you noted being bored by Thaksin but are the King Power Duty Free shops that stimulating?

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Hi McSpank

Just to get you up to speed, ThaiVisa.com is Thailand's most popular farang-orientated website and it routinely covers the kind of topics that you mentioned (apart from the spanking). Some consider it boring but it might be right up your street.

I'm not "stimulated" by Duty Free shops either. My article was a piss-take of a sycophantic journalist who was trying so hard to creep up King Power's arse that he accidentally exposed them for what they are. Oops.

Maybe that went over your head too.

Regards
David

D333 says:

David,

I admit, right over my head. I will also admit that 'Hi McSpank' made me laugh.

Prufrock says:

D333: After plowing through your exhaustive MS style and content critique I must conclude that you are none other than the author of the King Power piece (Sorry, but I just can't be bothered scrolling back to find your name but it was short and choppy as I remember, and sort of porn star-ish in a Dirk Digler latino kind of way.
(Or did Mr. Digler spell his name with two g's. Why yes, I believe he did . . . so he did, Diggler.
That's better.
As you can see I'm usually wrong about most of this stuff.

(Whaddya get for a travel piece these days anyway? I won a lottery about ten years ago so I only write . . . . blah blah . . blah :-)

Dicer says:

So this guy could be a refugee from Boogie Nights?

Eddie: I'm thinking about what the Colonel said about my name. I was just wondering if you had any ideas.
Jack: I had some thoughts on it. What about you? What do you think?
Eddie: My idea was I just want a name. I want it so it can cut glass, like razor-sharp.
Jack: Razor-sharp. Right.
Eddie: When I close my eyes,I see this thing. It's this big sign... and the name is in bright blue neon lights... with purple outline...and this name is just so bright and so sharp...that the sign blows up because the name's so powerful. It says, "Dirk Diggler."
Jack: I think Heaven has sent you here, Dirk Diggler. I think the angels have blessed us all because of you. You're Dirk!

Kenn says:

So this was there 17 years of achievement; and they still couldn’t throw in Toilet or two;
I am fine with overpriced stores and all the duty free shops in Airports it’s all the damn walking I hate, because only place I spend my Money is at the Bar; and I wait till the last minute to get your Plane while getting drunk at the Bar , running down the terminal half crocked , and that sucks LOL
And I can not understand why they would want to be known as the world's longest shopping street walkthrough concept.
I never knew there was a competition for that

D333 says:

I have been exposed. I am in fact Percy Roxas, Dirk Diggler,Long Dong Silver Uncle Tom Cobbley and D333.

In fact, contrary to the above take, I might be the only person on this board to face a problem indirectly caused by King Power. Last year I had one project with an intense deadline which had stayed on schedule. That was until one contractor started repeatedly disappearing, not answering his phone etc,with work in 'his' area drifting to an unsupervised snail's pace.

Reason being? The infuriating idiot was attending other matters- the rush job to fit out of the King Power shops at Suvarnabhumi.

If I am to be branded as Mr. Diggler, does the title come with a free fluffer of choice provided courtesy of MS?

fbuom says:

D333,

I've been through Suvarnabhumi about once a month since it opened - including less than a week after it opened.

Some things you wrote are fair. What's so hard about walking past the shops?

In my experience, the lines at Customs and Immigration are far better at Suvarnabhumi than they were at Don Muang. My last inbound, there were at least two flights arriving at the same time, the lines were short, processing was relatively quick. (My passport now gets a long look - I've got many visa stamps in the past 6 months, but my total in-country time is only about two weeks. Sorry to those in queue after me.)

But you're off on some other points.

IMHO: Incheon is a far 'friendlier' airport - and it has just as many - if not more - shops airside than Suvarnabhumi. The difference is the walk to the gate.

Inbound, sure, one can, if one wishes, ride the travelators. Outbound, to maximize the shopping opportunities, they don't really exist. If you arrive at night, there are points in the trip to immigration that make one feel as though they are on a spelunk.

The outbound experience, in general, is a disaster. Once past the passport checks, toilets are quite a ways apart. Go through security too soon, you're in _big_ trouble. Not only is there nothing to do, no where to sit (relatively speaking), there are no toilets! Or at least not until the gate opens. I guess the Thai figure if we're leaving the country, any impressions we form go with us.

In truth, Suvarnabhumi's concourse design reminds me of Charles DeGaulle (terminal 2?). The difference is that CDG has toilets, coffee shops and airline clubs in their concourses.

And what's with security at every concourse? Was that intended as a jobs program for TRT faithful? Again, at Incheon, security follows outbound Immigration. Once airside, it's open range.

At least Don Muang had 'charm'.;-)

fbuom

Anonymous says:

D333: Current "of choice" is Keith Summers He'll answer to Donna and, like, he's our current board bitch !? (That !? thing is Canadian "upspeak !? It replaced the "eh" thing ages ago !? And we use it to posit things that are probably true but might cause problems!? Like Telemachus was, like, the lube boy at, like, band camp !? Or some shit like that.

D333 says:

Fbuom,

Valid points, all. My feeling is many 'items' were probably removed in the build process to cut corners, inside as well as out. The design striking - the execution crap. The most frustrating aspect in truth is the inabilty of anyone to pull together a 'rapid response' to deal with some issues immediately. (Never been to Incheon by the by so that was interesting to hear)As you alluded to it is the first impression and leaving impression to the Kingdom and I would love to see it pulled together.

I'll go get my anorak.

Wombat says:

Great. It's an airport. Apparently lots of shops. Marvellous. Not many toilets. Inconvenient but one could always piss on the pot plants or take the previous advice & squeeze one out behind the stack of toblerones. Perhaps frequently. As someone who is arriving in approximately 2 weeks for a a short holiday I have just 2 questions. Do the planes land without any problems? Do they take off without any problems?

Adam says:

It's no different to KL, HK, Seoul, Tokyo or just about any other airport.......toilets are hardly the fault of King Power, nor is poor signage. This is pisstaking for the sake of it......and not ur best post at all.

abcd says:

wow... i didn't realize there were so many losers out there on the internet... you people really have nothing better to do?

if any of you have businesses or are currently employed in Thailand, I hope you realize that the new airport is going to bring us millions of tourists & business travelers in the coming years which means billions of $$$. And you're all whining about not being able to take a decent shit at the airport? That's hilarious...

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