September 9 2003
Why do Thais tell lies?

Petchburi Road massage parlour
When massage magnate Chuwit Kamolvisit made his unprecidented disclosures about police corruption and paid sex in high places, he shocked many ordinary Thais and broke an unwritten code of conduct.
Polite Thai society advocates wholesome family life, religious observance and refined etiquette. However, it also turns a blind eye to lovers, hookers, corruption and gambling. It is the element of deniability that reconciles these opposing values. The CIA applied the same logic to its conduct in the Iran-Contra affair. As they discovered, the strategy only works when scrutiny is lax and everyone keeps their mouth shut.
The gigantic massage parlours that dominate Bangkok's skyline are ostensibly just somewhere to relax and get cleaned up. Tired plutocrats in need of relief don't have to skulk in. The chauffeur drops them off in broad daylight and parks the limo out front. This "I just dance, I not go with customer" mentality draws a veil over a multitude of everyday sins.
Lifting the veil is unwise. Thais regard these deceptions as face-saving white lies no more serious than "your bum doesn't look big in that, darling" and will feel aggrieved if you challenge them. Confronting your Thai girlfriend with printouts of the emails she sends to her other lovers will not produce the hoped-for display of remorse. She will be outraged at your effrontery. How should you deal with this striking cultural difference?
If your girlfriend used to be a hooker then she is already addicted to fucking other men for pleasure and profit and will never change. She assumed that you knew this and would ignore her infidelities so long as she was discreet. She lied to save your feelings and your face. You must either put up with it, or find a respectable girl. It's your call.
Ignoring unpleasant truths is the foundation stone of Thailand's have-it-all culture. Where else can you run a shady business, keep a stable of mistresses, go home to a loving family and hold your head up in the temple? Mr Chuwit's most serious crime was to open cracks in that foundation. It remains to be seen what his punishment will be.
His Pandora's Box of revelations has had a profound effect. In the past, when parents drove their kids to school, they could easily deflect innocent enquiries about the garish pleasure palaces on Petchburi Road. Questions like "Mummy mummy, what's half and half, plus reverse oral with an anal finish?" are harder to brush off.
[Posted to Thai Secrets by David]
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