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March 29 2005

Thai furniture: At home with the Caesars

Recreating the baronial grandeur of an historic Scottish hunting lodge in my small Bangkok apartment isn't going to be easy but, with the help of this handsome suit of armour from The Emporium's Royal Davinci, I could make the doubters eat their words - possibly from the flamboyantly glazed porcelain serving bowl you can see in the background.

At home with the Thai Caesars

The florid interior decor of the neo-classical suburban villas of Thailand's dodgy elite wouldn't look out of place in the Grand Salon of the Chateau de Versailles - or even a tart's boudoir - but don't ask how they made their money.

Anyone reckless enough to laugh openly at the heavy onyx telephone with eye-catching gilt details might be risking a surprise night time visit from burly ex-boxers sporting "bullet-proof" tattoos and a kilo of gold amulets.

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At home with the Thai Caesars

Julius Caesar and Louis XVI would certainly feel at home in this sumptuously appointed living room (again, courtesy of Royal Davinci) but to display reproduction weaponry on your glass-topped coffee table is clearly inviting trouble.

Jealous Thai women have a well-deserved reputation for delivering the unkindest cut of all and a fun-loving farang might arrive home late one night to be greeted by the unmistakable sound of hungry ducks quacking and a razor-sharp Samurai sword being drawn from its faux-ivory scabbard. This is when a suit of armour might come in handy - particularly if it comes complete with a sturdy codpiece.

At home with the Thai Caesars

These haemorrhoid-inducing polished hardwood benches - as favoured by wealthy Chinese Thais - are on display at Mahboonkhrong's curiously named Kongka Manufacturer, arranged around a gigantic jade cock.

If you're thinking about buying a condo and the agent tells you that it's "furnished in the Chinese style" then make a mental note to hire a large dumpster. A friend of mine recently found himself in this awkward predicament but a mercy-dash organised by his Thai girlfriend's family ultimately saved the day. They gleefully carted it all away in their battered pick-up truck - proving once and for all that there truly is no accounting for taste.

You might imagine that most of Thailand's homes would be furnished with traditional handicrafts, teak furniture and comfortable silk cushions but most modern Thais deem this stuff to be fit only for peasants, tourists and Jim Thompson wannabees (See Jim Thompson's house and museum). Thai style is out and foreign styles are most definitely in.

At home with the Thai Caesars

If there is a quintessentially Thai piece of furniture then this is it - the sturdy and practical vinyl sofabed. Every well-appointed Thai home has one and, at under 3,000 baht (about 70 USD), this one is excellent value. Last year, I noticed a similar model on sale in Buriram for less than 2,000 baht - but, at that price, it must have been stuffed with buffalo dung.

Thai Caesars aside, it has to be said that many younger people furnish their homes quite tastefully and there are plenty of good and very reasonably priced furniture stores operating in Bangkok. I could elaborate but Mango Sauce isn't Homes and Gardens Magazine.

[Posted to Thai Secrets by David]

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Readers' comments

Geran says:

Great coverage on the noveau-riche lifestyles of wealthy Thais with no taste! Those furnitures couldn't look more gaudy and in bad taste!

Personally, I'd never just decorate my home with just Ikea-type furniture. It's just too normal, a nice ornament here and there, vintage antique fan-whatever to make it look different from most homes.

However, I think most wealthy Thais lack taste- no offence here! With all that money, they'll be better off hiring interior designers and equip their homes with Alessi products, Phillip Starck Furniture, Miele Kitchen, Rolf Benz leather couches- something really classy and cosmospolitan

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