Koh Samui's alternative health spa

Common Sense says:

What the fuck David, you could have come up with something more than that. Good for a quick laugh, yeah. Unfortuately it's gonna take more than this to combat google. That is unless their R&D team just needs a good Golden Shower to get their shit together.

Mac says:

Dragged myself to the bathroom in the wee hours (ha-ha) to take a leak, then returned to the comfort of my bed only to find that I had to piss anew. Damn Tiger beer ...

If you can't make it to see the good doctor, you might want to check out the following:

Urine Therapy: A cure for all diseases
Urine Therapy is one of the most powerful, most researched and most medically proven natural cures ever discovered.
www.shirleys-wellness-cafe.com/urine.htm

Also, a quick search of google images reveals that group piss ons have emerged as a sort of poor man's (woman's?) bukkake. But the queen needs seamen.

Eniac says:

Common,

That's a bit harsh. The best thing about this site is the instant gratification. While patient men like you are pissing about with wine and roses, I'm the bloke getting sucked off under the table.

Common Sense says:

Eniac,
And I'm the guy taking your girl home for a freebie. ;)

Now in all seriousness, although our communications have been few and far between, if at all, I have always liked your posts. In this instance though I think you may have overlooked my sacarstic constructive criticism. I'm sure you caught my tounge-in-cheek jab at google though.

Either way, (and this will be harsh) David has much more potential than the one liner posted under this photo. I can see several different directions he could have gone with this. David has always gave me a good chuckle with his witty one liners in replying to a few of my posts or emails, but for an article, more is generally expected. The one liner here is something I would expect from the likes of Road Natzi (that's the harsh part). Childish and amateurish at best, not the best from David by any means. That's not to mention it's very unlikely to generate any sort of conversation.

Well until my "Fan" club chimes in to bash me for this post anyways. Have at it boys, I'm here all week.

Eniac says:

Common,

You're more than welcome to stir the porridge in one of my little friends but I'm sure they'd appreciate a tip.

David is quite capable of defending himself so I won't do it for him but if Google did the same thing to me I wouldn't be wasting my time writing witty articles when I could be pissing into every unlocked gas tank in the Googleplex parking lot.

"I can see several different directions he could have gone with this."

Don't be shy then. I'm sure a military man like you has a few piss-related tales to tell. At the very least you must have crept up on one of your sleeping brothers in arms and dipped his hand into a bucket of warm water.

Ok. I'll go first. I was having a morning shower with a little friend and was horrified to see the water turn yellow. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not been standing between her and the plughole but instead of angrily lashing out in the way that some people do when David writes a short article I taught her a couple of lines from Tony Christie's classic song Yellow River and we had a singsong.

Common Sense says:

Eniac,
Your right, I do have quite a few stories to that have to do with piss. Had two buddies that developed one of those pissing fetishes after watching some Amazonian farang girl pissing under a truck in Iraq. They just couldn't get over it.

Anyways, we ended up in Las Vegas on a drunken binge our first week back and paid an escort to piss all over one of the guys faces while he laid in a tub wearing scuba goggles and a snorkel.

He still swears it was the greatest experience of his life. I just wish we had been in LOS. Vegas whores who piss aint cheap.

Dicer says:

CS,

That in mango-speak is called incontinentia bukkake. Sounds to me like you are thickly set with something suggestive. Do continue...

Dicer says:

Like for instance, thinking of Vegas hookers who have to keep their bladders in tiptop condition for work. Did she tell him about the change in pressure or notify him of the different "under Pisanu" signals to be used...did she ask him what his skin pH was and made him sign a waiver...details man, details....

Grunt says:

Good one, maybe we submit this one to http://www.engrish.com/ ?

Prufrock says:

I guess this is what one does while anxiously awaiting that reply from Hustler's submissions department.

Here's another

DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY
File Format: Microsoft Word - View as HTML
Starting Salary and Career Progression – As a Border Patrol Agent, entry level is either at grade GS-5 or GS-7, depending upon qualifications. ...
www.cbp.gov/.../customs_careers/border_careers/
bpa_vac_announcement_071.ctt/
bpa_vac_announcement_071.doc - Similar pages

Prufrock

Common Sense says:

Thanks for the suggestion Prufrock, but like I've said before, not my cup of tea.

You seem to be losing steam as of late. Failing health maybe? It can only be expected from a man of your age. I doubt Thai healthcare will be able to do much for you so you may want to look around here: http://www.nursinghomes.co.uk/

Common Sense says:

Dicer,
I wasn't going for a cleverly written story such as one David would produce. My creative writing talents aint quite that good I'm afraid. But I'll be willing to give it a try if you insist. Might take me a few days though.

Prufrock says:

How can you be so utterly and consistantly wrong about everything and expect to land a job anywhere other than the Benighted States of America's burgeoning booga-booga industry?
Simply amazing that you'd consider anything else. Well, wait, Don Knotts is dead so there could be that entry-level opening in Mayberry.
Now there's a fit.

Common Sense says:

I guess senility doesn't allow you to see beyond your own perceptions. Anyways I'm willing to bet good money you'll be following in Don Knotts footsteps long before I will, and I'm not talking about the position in Mayberry.

Prufrock says:

CS pronounces on anyone who may have a nodding familiarity with American post war pop culture. . ."I guess senility doesn't allow you to see beyond your own perceptions."

This "seeing things beyond your own perceptions" thing of yours is something that, as an unemployed ex-Marine, you, um, might just wanna keep to yourself, son.
Until those meds get ramped up to speed, at least.
The rest of us here (in Thailand as opposed to your "Mangoland" - your term for a Fresno garage suite, your brother-in-law's back yard?) are quite familiar with your keen extra-sensory mental processes and the outrageously entertaining conclusions you draw from them.

Do you have any advice to share about day-to-day life here in Thailand that might be of use to us who actually spend time here? And who in some degree or other, have the ways and means to live and work here get laid anytime we want and spot wein-heads like you from across the street and avoid them like the plague?

Crossing guard position, perhaps?

Still waiting on that kinky pee-pee story though. Be a slave to that fullness you feel. Let it all out, son.
Dana has the details and he's just bursting to share.

Common Sense says:

Prufrock,
Why do you even attempt to get under my skin. Your rather horrible at it. Your trying to knock me as being an unemployed ex-marine. Well I'm still in the Marines dipshit, just on vacation until my contract expires. I'm deciding among the job offers I have at the moment, none of which are with Homeland Security. I'm doing rather well for myself actually.

Your right about one thing though, I do not live in Thailand. Since that is not a prerequisite for having an opinion or posting on MangoSauce, I don't see what the fuck it matters. As far as living and working in Thailand goes, I could pull it off if I wanted. At my age though, it would make no sense. I'm intelligent enough to provide myself with financial security before attempting such a move. Oh well, tell yourself what you must to make it through another day. That balcony dive will happen eventually.

You know what the greatest part about not being an senile old fuck living in Thailand is. Even in America, I have the means to live, work, and get laid anytime I want. Can you pull that off, or is the financial transaction and some viagra a MUST to keep your sex life intact.

I use Thailand for recreation, not a crutch.

Prufrock says:

Ok, so you're busy “see(ing) things beyond your own perceptions” someplace back in the States which you’ve decided to rename Mangoland.
That’s great CS.
Please do keep us posted.

And while they will no doubt continue to contrast sharply with Thai reality and real geo-political events, your posts on life in Thailand as well as your carefully considered opinions on most other things will continue to remain a source of amusement to us all.

Your (sic) right about one thing though . . . . . . . I don't see what the fuck it matters

Prufrock says:

CS actually enquired: You know what the greatest part about *not* (sic) being an (sic) senile old fuck living in Thailand is.(sic)(?)

As a matter of fact I do know, Common and I'm glad you asked.

Way, way down the list
(though, admittedly, it still brings on the occasional chuckle)
is just getting to spend a few minutes each day or so
doing my Stephen Colbert
to your Bill O'Reilly.

Please.
Keep it coming.

Prufrock

Road Natzi says:

Common,

With out any doubt you are an expert in relation to just about anything, just ask you. When it comes to 'pissing', you are of course somewhat experienced in this area. Lets face it, you never were a Marine, you never will be a Marine and when you were in the 'brownies' or the 'scouts', you were pissed on by everyone.

According to you, You are a success, you are brilliant and you can do anything you chose to do. At this rate, you should be president of the USA or perhaps you could move Bill Gates aside and take control of Microsoft. Lets face it Common, your a wanker, only a fool would lay claim to half the things that you crap on about. Remember the old golden rule; 'Those who brag'.

For some reason David cannot post a 'one liner' under a funny pic. I've only been negating my way around Mango for a few years now & can only ever recall seeing a couple of one liners. Is it the case that you need everything explained to you to the greatest degree. Can't you just be happy with a funny pic and a brief yet funny one liner. Your a fuckwit pal, of course that holds you in great stead to be a Marine, but your frigging fat arse and pin sized legs, probably wouldnt fit into a Marines uniform. Get your hand, woops i mean those two fingers off it, get of the social security and head out and get a job. Maybe you'll get lucky and secure a position in charge of shopping trolleys or something like that.

It always amuses me common, that when you refer to sex, its always about hookers or whatever. Its obvious that the only 'freebie' you ever participated in, is that once a year, all in affair your immediate family partakes in, everytime your mothers herpies clears up. Just stick with ur insest common and leave your dreams about hookers out of this.

Prufrock, the mere fact that FUCKNUCKLE aka Common Sense (what a misnomer) acknowledges that your(sic) trying to get under his skin, means that you are doing a good job at it. Its highly likely the puny little fuck has his tiny little cock in knots over everything you say....KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK.

Cheerio chaps and chapettes.

Common Sense says:

Prufrock,
It's funny that you mentioned this Colbert O'Reilly think. Colbert had O'Reilly on his show last week to promote a book and didn't even have the balls to take him on in a debate. I'm not a fan of O'Reilly, but found this interesting. Wonder why this happened.