October 21 2003

Growing old disgracefully in Thailand

Have you ever wondered why you rarely see Thai women between the ages of 30 and 40? They haven't been abducted. The bizarre truth is that at 30, they age 10 years almost overnight.

For me, a classy 30-something Sex and the City girl is the one to watch out for. Youngsters just can't compete. In the hope that one day she might complete a sentence, a guy could spend years with a vacuous disco babe. One morning, he will wake up next to an overweight stranger who smells of wee. She still can't complete the sentence but this time it's down to Alzheimer's disease.

Thai women in their late twenties can often be mistaken for teenagers. It comes as a shock to see how badly they age after that. Perhaps Asian skin is to blame. It is very soft and scars easily. Every zit leaves an indelible mark. In later life, wrinkles that would be invisible on western or African skin are highlighted by uneven pigmentation. As well as being susceptible to the effects of the sun, Thai women often make matters worse by using skin whitening creams with corrosive ingredients.

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This quirk of the aging process has a big impact on a Thai woman's life. The disillusionment that strikes western women in their 40s tends to hit Thai women 10 years earlier. The social invisibility of the middle-aged woman brings with it anxiety and depression. In a country as appearance-conscious as Thailand, who can blame them for grieving for their lost youth?

Thai men don't age well either, particularly if they work outside. Last week, I was chatting with a taxi driver who by coincidence was exactly the same age as me. Like all aging Thai men, his hair was dyed black but he still looked old enough to be my father. Naturally, he accused me of being a work-shy fop who had enjoyed an easy life.

Men cope reasonably well with the psychological effects of aging. A man's worth is not solely dependent on his looks. Wealth, status and charm can delay his irrelevance for decades. Some old fellas make prats of themselves at the Nana Disco but no one could accuse them of being invisible and they will probably get laid too.

Women cope less well, particularly when they once traded on their beauty. A guy might indulge a conceited stunner but he wouldn't tolerate an annoying boiler. Instead of developing their personalities, many aging Thai sex-pots respond by becoming fat, desperate and clingy.

Thailand's upper-classes have their own issues. In a bid for respect, many wealthy older women become ultra-arrogant and wear kilos of gold. Their trademark candyfloss hair looks dreadful but it demonstrates that they can afford to go to the hairdresser every day. These hideous old bags can normally be found shopping for tasteless but expensive clothes. No wonder their husbands linger on Petchburi Road every night.

For both sexes, the years between 30 and 40 should be the most rewarding time of life. I feel sorry for women who live in a society that writes them off at 30. Thai men of all ages prefer the company of teenagers. But don't despair you mature Thai ladies. Stay out of the sun, bin the whitening cream, read a couple of books and try not to let yourselves go. I'm still waiting for Thailand's answer to Sarah Jessica Parker to walk into my life.

[Posted to Thai Secrets by David]

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Readers' comments

Marmite says:

Shit! My girl is 29. Does this mean I'll need to trade her in next October when she hits 30?

March 10, 2004 12:11 PM

papa says:

my girls 29. After reading this i'm binning the whitening cream

March 12, 2004 1:19 AM

Jack says:

My (Thai) girl is 37. She hasn't changed in the 6 years we've been together and she still looks great....

April 8, 2004 8:20 AM

special ed says:

i know many thai women 30+ that look like they're 25 (or younger)....asian women age well in my eyes...

April 27, 2004 7:28 AM

Linda says:

To set the record straight not all asian women age poorly. We asian woman start aging dramatically at 40 not 30. We stay young for a while but do age overnight, I have to agree with you on that one. Western woman on the other hand....have you gone home to farangland lately? Western woman don't look so great after 20....

May 25, 2004 4:48 AM

Billy P says:

Linda, are you the Linda I met in nana?

Palinda by name? I won't say your second name, but it was from the guy from japan?

May 25, 2004 6:06 AM

C says:

This is so not true. I am a 33 turning 34 Thai woman and people (in Thailand or overseas) think I am in my mid-twenties all the time. Asian skin often age slower than white (caucasian) skin. Farang girls (especially the fair blonde ones) start seeing wrinkles in their mid-twenties. Perhaps the fast-aging thai girls you refer to are the hard-partying, hard-drinking, chain-smoking bar girl types who weather more both in life and in the sun? I agree though that most thai men don't age well. They often drink and smoke and without any exercise they get bald and fat pretty fast.

May 25, 2004 11:50 PM

C says:

By the way I am your answer to Sarah Jessica Parker.
I never use whitening cream (don't need to) and I read.

May 25, 2004 11:52 PM

David says:

You are right, C. Asian women who take care of themselves can look good well into middle age. Burma's Aung San Suu Kyi is a case in point. It's the hard-living bar girls who tend to age prematurely. However, I don't agree that Thai men are prone to baldness. Those with a good head of hair outnumber the slap-heads by 20 to 1 - David.

May 26, 2004 1:06 AM

Linda says:

No, Billy P I'm not the one you met in nana and my name is not Palinda. I am not a bar girl, and have never been a bar girl..sorry to disappoint u. I am a 30 something thai working for a business management firm in the States and everyone still thinks that I'm in my early 20s.

May 27, 2004 12:55 AM

jimmy says:

Linda,
Any chance we could run into eachother when you visit the kingdom.
I love the 30 s thai women.

May 28, 2004 12:18 PM

Skye says:

Hi I'm a big bodied and beutiful. I'm 39 English but many people tell me I'm young at heart. I just don't see the attraction of all these small, bony, haggard and dark Oriental girls that you guys go crazy over. Spend a night with me and you'll never think of them again!!

May 28, 2004 1:08 PM

Bullwinkle says:

So to sum it up....you're a fat slut.

May 29, 2004 6:02 AM

TANAI KWAI says:

Skye... pearls before piglets.

(winky)

May 29, 2004 7:02 AM

Intrepid says:

''Spend a night with me and you'll never think of them again!!! Does that mean you are going to smother us to death with your fat arse?

May 29, 2004 1:55 PM

It isn't me. says:

The world is a better place for you being in it intrepid. Your wit reaches deep inside me, and makes me realize simple truths and common humanity. Thanks to you I feel the bitter sweet human condition, and can laugh. Please keep insulting people for all of our benefit.

Either that or you are bit of a vampire, preying off of other people's sef esteem in order to benefit your own.

May 29, 2004 4:10 PM

TANAI KWAI says:

Um, guys, I think Skye is a put-on... A waggish scamp adopting the persona of a daft farang woman who doesn't get it.

(get it?)

May 29, 2004 11:25 PM

middleman says:

Generally I agree with the ageing cycle of thai women, but wow was I blown away when I hooked up with a 'girl' in Phuket--not a bar girl either. we spent about a week together, and I knew she was well past her teen years but maybe around 30, possibly 35. She was very coy about telling me her age, but finally on the fourth day I dragged it out of her. It turns out she's 50! 50!!!! (and I'm only 38!) you would not believe this woman if you saw her--smooth skin, fresh face and TIGHT bod.

All praise to Thai and other Asian women!!! (the rest can go rot)

June 1, 2004 11:25 AM

Porkswordsman says:

What a wicked post. Thai ladies in early and middle-middle age are the true beauties of the world! Especially those with 7 or 8 extra kilos of evenly distributed pork on them. The ones that don't obsess about their fading youth, and instead exalt in their maturity and loveliness just leave my knees like jelly....in the street or in the cot.

June 7, 2004 8:59 PM

Blacky says:

Hmmm....my TGF just turned 30.... so how long have I got?

August 7, 2004 12:04 AM

Chris says:

I've got a GF of Javanese descent. Gorgeous and 37. Not a wrinkle in sight and she loves the sun.
Then again, she does not smoke and party.

May 23, 2007 5:17 PM

Sam from Buriram says:

"People say I'm young at heart"

Words never uttered by anyone who doesn't resemble the south end of a north bound water buffalo.

May 28, 2007 12:39 AM

Rick H. says:

Reading these older articles again reminds me of why I return to this website so often. And the ..."smells of wee" bit made me fall of my chair laughing. This was a good one.

May 28, 2007 10:26 AM

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