October 25 2003

Brand-name clothes at pocket-change prices in Thailand

Blofeld visits Indian tailor

When the arse of your suit looks like polished steel, you know the time has come for a fashion makeover. Back in Farangland, this would have meant some serious credit card abuse. Not so here. One of Thailand's best-kept secrets is brand-name clothes at pocket-change prices.

Don't waste time picking through the copied rubbish on the street stalls. It's total shite. After one wash, strangers will be dropping coins into your Starbucks cup. The same applies to the made-to-measure suits from those Indian fellas. You'll end up looking like a Bond villain - but not in a nice way.

The real bargains are in the department stores. Famous-name fashion houses run concessions in places like Robinsons, Central, Tokyu and The Emporium. Here, you can find quality gear priced about 60% less than in the West. There are often promotions too.

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The buying experience is very bloke-friendly. There are no crowds, plenty of changing rooms and marked prices. The assistants are babes and very charming too. If you've spent too much time with rough bar girls, meeting nice Thai women is a real delight. Back home, I used to hate shopping but this is sheer pleasure.

If you are a tourist, think long and hard before mentioning any of this to the wife. She will disappear for days, leaving you free to rampage through the city's go-go bars. However, when she gets back, she will say something like "I save you $1,200 but all you can do is ask why we need 24 coffee grinders." You know what chicks are like.

Never allow a bar girl to take you anywhere near a department store. Any savings you make will be more than offset by the growth in her wardrobe. If she starts whining, take her down to Pratunam and get her some Hello Kitty knickers for 50 baht. If that doesn't shut her up, stuff them in her mouth.

Many visitors to Thailand make the same fashion mistakes. Get yourself some decent threads and leave the dodgy Red-Bull T-shirts for the amateurs.

[Posted to Thai Secrets by David]

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