January 16 2006

Thai go-go dancers with a lot of clout

Tourist checks giant clam for barnacles

In my home town in the North of England, a woman's genital region is sometimes referred to as her clout. During a lazy Sunday morning lie-in, a man might coo affectionately in his wife's ear "Pull your fingers out of your clout, Love, and make us a nice cup of tea."

Many of my chums from home enjoy visiting me in Bangkok and I always show them the places of interest. The place that interests them the most is often the place where a go-go dancer's legs protrude from her body.

One night, a rather unusual girl caught our eye. While the other dancers had either a neat little wisp or a cute shaven haven, this young lady was sporting a big hairy minge that would have done a farang girl proud. We couldn't resist having a giggle at her expense - which didn't go unnoticed - and, sure enough, five minutes later she plonked herself down on my lap.

Before I could shoo her away, the hairy little minx managed to win me over with an engaging combination of wit, cheekiness and charm that was a million miles away from the usual "what your name where you come from buy me cola pay bar" nonsense and, two years later, I'm still enjoying her company quite regularly.

Sadly, the relationship will never go further than sharing a few drinks and bouncing her on my knee. Quite apart from the fact that I'm already spoken for, I'd never live it down if I ended up dating the woman known to my friends as "The One with the Big Clout."

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Even in a bar blighted by bikinis, it's quite easy work out how much clout a girl has. Go-go dancers never seem comfortable in their G-strings and they're always fiddling with them. The chafing often becomes unbearable when their arses pass just a few inches from the face of a chap who looks like he's got a few Baht in his pocket.

One night, the Suzy Wong dancer known as "That Monster-Girl from The Ring" (See "The Rock" exposed as Soi Cowboy go-go dancer) pulled aside her troublesome gusset to reveal to me the full extent of her feminine charms - plus a large genital wart which, clinicians might be interested to know, exhibited the classic cauliflower-like appearance.

Sadly, she was fired a few weeks later for allowing a customer to take an on-the-premises snapshot of her barnacle-encrusted clam with his camera-phone.

Finally, here's a fascinating story that appeared recently on the front page of the Bangkok Post under the headline "Suriya survives cabinet facelift."

Suriya Jungrungreangkit, the man under the spotlight in the CTX bomb scanners scandal, has proved how much clout he has in the Thai Rak Thai government...

"I've had her, I've had her, I've had her..."

[Posted to Sex by David]

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Readers' comments

Looper says:

I wish they had a Go-Go Miss World contest with entrants from around the world. Instead of evening wear and swim suit rounds they would have a natural round and a shaven round with each girl being depilated at half time.

I don't know if I love J-Girls more with or without. They seem to cultivate amazing wispy muffs that wouldn't look out of place on Paul Daniel's head.

The Celtic lasses definitely look more exotic sans orange minge.

The hirsute Germans should be a laugh if there armpits are anything to go by.

The star of the show might end up being the naturally smooth Thai sweeties though. I am sure we wouldn't hear any 'world peace' clap trap from them either. It would be 'the biggest house in the village and enough cash to open a beauty salon'.

January 2, 2007 8:57 PM

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