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Meet sexy Mai. She is a model, but not in the way you might imagine. Like her leggy catwalk sisters, she has a fully articulated skeleton but her soft parts are actually made of silicone rubber. She's a RealDoll.

Sex with a rubber is encouraged, but could this be taking things too far? In most respects, Mai could never match up to the appeal of a genuine woman but she does have her advantages. You won't have to support 1,000 of her feckless relatives in Buriram and she will shut the fuck up. The sex might be better too. This is what shock-jock Howard Stern has to say:

Just like a real Asian babe, Mai will seriously damage your wealth. She costs $5999 plus shipping of $450 in the US and $800 internationally. You can get better acquainted with her at www.realdoll.com.

For an altogether more disturbing experience, visit www.realdollsex.com. Seeing your fellow man servicing a lump of plastic has all the erotic appeal of watching Margaret Thatcher taking a dump (definitely a minority interest), but a jolly prankster could find enough candid photos here to trick his mates into banging-off over an eraser.

Getting your rubber lover though Thai customs might not be so easy. You could say that she was a mannequin for your shop window but the combination of her massive wobbly knockers and big hairy minge would probably undermine the credibility of your story. So what's the worst that could happen?

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Last year, a mate of mine was looking forward to receiving a parcel from the States containing, amongst other things, a surprise birthday gift. All that turned up was a curt invitation to meet with a customs officer.

Thai customs officers search packages brought in by well-known courier companies with the enthusiasm of children opening their presents on Christmas morning. The shredded remains of the parcel were scattered over the surface of an inspection table. A hatchet-faced female customs officer pointed at the surprise gift - a multi speed vibrating dildo.

Given Thailand's reputation, it comes as a surprise to many foreign visitors that sex toys are illegal and harder to obtain than weapons of mass destruction. Her opening gambit set the ransom at B30,000 ($730/£460). My mate didn't want it. She could shove it up her arse. However, the choice was simple. Either pay up or lose the other, higher value items too. The fee was, however, negotiable.

A figure of B14,000 was finally agreed upon ($340/£215). No receipt was issued and, in spite of pocketing a full month's salary, the officer didn't waste any of her valuable time wrapping the parcel up again.

Based on these figures, the cost of shipping your new girlfriend would fund the early retirement of Thailand's entire civil service. But let's get real here. For the same money, you could shag up to 280 different bar girls. They don't move about much either so the experience should feel exactly the same.

[Posted to Sex by David]

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