February 2 2004

PACI roadtests Thai bar girls

PACI bar girl evaluation form

Mango Sauce reader Steve runs the Pattaya-based Professional Association of Carnal Inspectors (PACI) - a non-profit organisation which uses science to take the guesswork out of selecting the most rewarding Thai bar girl experience.

To this end, PACI has devised a remarkable questionnaire which rates the performance of bar girls in areas such as "initial contact," "relationship development" and "money-grabbing tricks." Those girls who make the cut can go on to be assessed in more advanced areas such as "pussy presentation" and "condom skills" etc. You can download the form here.

PACI Bar Girl Evaluation Form (PDF format)

Like a sexed-up version of the Human Genome Project, Steve tells me that a lot of "hard work" has gone into the development of the Bar Girl Evaluation Form. A Thai language version is in the pipeline and he also has plans to create a Long Term Girlfriend Evaluation Form.

Using the data collected from more than a thousand bar girls, the statisticians at PACI have been able to draw some interesting conclusions.

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Highly attractive young bar girls are often very lazy, have poor attitude scores, are soulless shags and have poor overall scores.
Good scores in "relationship development" and "pre-coital" generally result in a pleasant experience and good overall scores.
High scoring old bar girls always score lower on the second hiring but low scoring old bar girls are consistently shite.
Poor scores due to shyness in new girls can show dramatic improvements on a subsequent hiring up to a week or two later.

A more complete set of conclusions is attached to the form itself. PACI must be congratulated for creating this remarkable work of scholarship.

[Posted to Sex by David]

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Readers' comments

Farangutan says:

"Highly attractive young bar girls are often very lazy, have poor attitude scores, are soulless fuck"

- wish I'd known this before last Sunday evening :(

June 29, 2004 5:54 PM

jdman says:

Filling out the form was fun David. Predictably my TGF scored 89 out of 90. Guess where she lost a point.

We need one of these forms for farang girls especially with all the venom being spit by both sides of that argument. I'm sure Mangos most excellent and creative readership can come up with very appropriate evaluation categories.

Heres one:

Financial sensitivities judged by her reaction to "Buy you a drink miss?":

Answers "Fuck yes" and then shouts down to her friends..."This mates buying a round!"

Answers "Sure" then orders the most expensive booze in the place and asks you for a few quid to buy a pack of cigarettes.

Answers "Yes, why thank you" and orders exactly what you are drinking.

Answers "Well you a sweetheart!" Gives you peck on the cheek and asks "What do you suggest?"

Answers "Thanks so much but I'm feeling a little tipsey right now. You want to go take a walk or something?"

June 29, 2004 6:17 PM

John U says:

Nice one JD :<))

Seeing this form gave me a bit of a turn though :0(

It's remarkably like the one a certain UK bank uses to assess staff every year. Took me back a bit.

Did Steve happen to be a bank employee at some point, or maybe still is? If not I must congratulate him on a remarkable piece of work.

June 30, 2004 12:34 AM

Dana says:

The only informative, interesting, and reliable way to rate and score bargirls is to strip'em and dip'em. When they come up out of the BDT (Bargirl Dipping Tank) naked, streaming water, and with their hair plastered against their skulls--you can see what you got. All else is nonsense.

June 30, 2004 10:13 AM

Combover says:

Dana - is this you?

http://www.dana-international.net/

Did you get a discount on the GRS, given that they clearly would not having been dealing with a complete prick!

June 30, 2004 11:33 AM

Dana says:

Yep, that's me.

Dana

July 3, 2004 5:14 PM

Dana says:

I know how to do my own posting. There is no reason to do it for me. Juvenile.

July 3, 2004 9:08 PM

James says:

The PACI bar girl evaluation form is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. I saved it and forwarded to to several former female mates especially the "politically correct" ones and I must say, I am quite the hit with these PC American chicks! I am sure they are self evaluating themselves while cursing me!

June 3, 2006 2:38 PM