Korat "gote" girl will shit on your table

mr peter says:

Is this a ploy to get people to put thier real email addresses? I feel left out as Noy never got in touch, your on Noy, as long as we don't have to listen to tata while I piss on you-peter

Whippet says:

Excellent stuff, that is the funniest thing I've read in ages. Though Noy, we agreed you'd keep quiet about you straddling my coffee table. See you at 7?

Cynic says:

It's obviously bullshit and was probably sent by the fake Cynic or the fake Ernesto Ortega.

Lol says:

And people wonder whi I moved to Thailand??

Well Noy, or any of your sisters, yes I would like to meat you, I'll supply the coffee table but i'm afraid i'm clean out of Gotes at the minute.

Great stuff!!

Bibble says:

Did she send photos? That gote in the picture looks like it's receiving some gobbling, or did you have to excite it? I know that you are dedicated to keeping this website entertaining - I hope it's not a kid!

Billy P says:

Hope it's not a Billy Gote.

Antihero says:

This letter is obviously a parody. Anyone familiar with the way uneducated Thais speak english should be able to quickly spot a few obvious errors that would only be made an english speaker trying to imitate "Thinglish".

Dana says:

Alright, lets just clear the decks here and act like manly men. I'll go first by admitting that it was me. I'll take the blame. I'll take the hits. I'll be the sacrifical node. I lack character and I lack propriety and I lack class and style and education and breeding. I'm a failure as a human being and unemployable and a social misanthrope with one foot on the evolutionary land and one foot in the sea. Blame me. I can take it. Stick the spear in anywhere. I crave abuse. It only makes me stronger. Oh, and did I mention that I was a Yank and my weekend hobby was killing native Americans. There. That's it. I'm dirt. I don't deserve to live. I apologise for living. The only bigger pollutant than methane producing cattle is my self. Except for not breeding the only greater contribution to the world that I could make would be a 9mm in the brain. Only thing is--I get emails every month from incredibly hip guys in the Kingdom that want to meet up with me and share a beer. Kind of a mystery.

Lee Strasberg says:

Yanks don't apologise. Rather, Yanks don't apologize.

Method-acting slip-up?

The actor must not play an American he must be an American.

Very well. Resume.

Bibble says:

Dana,

"I'll go first by admitting that it was me"

You shat on John Us coffee table?

David says:

Dana - Please clarify. Did you really send this email to John U or was your admission just a joke? The letter seems entirely plausible to me. The non-linear repetitive style is very hard for a farang to fake and I certainly couldn't write anything this convincing myself - David.

Jim Beam says:

--------------------------------------------------------
Dana says = Only thing is--I get emails every month from incredibly hip guys in the Kingdom that want to meet up with me and share a beer. Kind of a mystery=
--------------------------------------------------------
Yes no one said that you are the only incredibly hip guy in Thailand. Jerks like you are a dime a dozen. Go ahead and start a club - New Jerks from New Jerky, that name has a nice ring to it.

Greg says:

Hi Jim. Noise. Signal. Noise. Signal. What is your contribution to the signal to noise ratio?

Dana is clever and interesting and has his own style. He invents himself. I'd rather share a beer with an interesting jerk than some guy who feels it important to let other people know that they are jerks.

Jim Beam says:

Good for your Greg and nice to hear even Dana has some friends. By the way, we are all eagerly awaiting your next installment of self-actualization stories, or have you lost the cut n' paste rythm?

mr peter says:

Actually that goat is quite a looker compared to some of the pics of falang chix David has put up, do you think it takes it up the shitter? maybe by the look on it's face. There was a prosecution of a welsh bloke last year who was caught shagging a goat in a field, must be illegal then in the uk, how about LOS?-peter

Greg says:

Insult. Emotional statement. Snide rhetorical question. Gratuitous put down. Meaningless comment.

Last word.

There, now I feel better. I've proved that I'm better than you.

Is that really conversation?

Greg's mum says:

I'm having wild, unhibited, no strings attached sex with young Thai women who are truly in love with me. Preferrably two at a time.

Ahh, now I feel better.

Jim Beam says:

Blah Blah Blah - Yada Yada Yada, take cover under colliquialism and consider yourself as having the art of witty repartee.

How typically "yank" your respose is Greg. Why were you trying to have the last word in on posts between me and Dana? Or do you usuall make it your business to butt in on conversations? Did anyone ask you how much you love Dana? You may share the same hooker for all we care. Go back to your doubledecker sandwich or whatever manly sexual exploits that trailer trash like you comes here to partake.

Antihero says:

A few things jump right out at me:

"Same as me" - rare for a Thai to properly use a preposition like "as" to modify an object.

"will do everything" - again proper use of the future tense verb raises eyebrows.

"Tabel of glass" - Can use "of" properly but can't spell table? Other seemingly basic mistakes in the letter seem to jibe with the perfect declension of personal pronouns, I, he, you, etc.

I still say it's a farang fugeze, but then again
there are plenty of Thais who can write English better than they speak it.

Billy P says:

Antihero,

Do you ever laugh at anything? Don't you think it's funny. OK so you don't believe it. I wonder if it can be proved genuine in some way to satisfy your dour cynicism. If you publish yoru email address maybe John U can ask her to send you an invitation to party. How about it?

Greg says:

Hi Jim. I think you may have lost track of who said what. It was I who budded in and tried to have the last word about your post to Dana. I did it as I just get irritated at name calling, and I wanted to show some support. People like to speak for the crowd in their insulting, and I thought I shouldn't stand around for that, and I wanted to show appreciation for some of the better qualities that Dana can display.

I didn't mean to be a budinsky. Insults can be good. But name calling without a little meat in the comment is just noisy, don't you think?

Jim Beam says:

Greg - Here is a meaty comment for you "Fuck Off"!

Greg says:

Sigh. Remember the episode where Captain Kirk explains how he passed his Captain exam? He changed the rules of the computer program. I don't like the rules we are playing by. What if I concede all virtue and grant you high status? I do so. I love and respect you.

Hamletised says:

He's a Trekkie. That's telling. His suckling at the glass teat included hours of painfully obvious metaphor and heroically overwrought emotion.

Next installment: When My Inner Child Speaks, I Take a Lot of Notes.

Greg says:

What a blind and ignorant man I am, Hamletised, that I find it so difficult to love you. I want to, I honestly do. How can I learn to do so?

Gerg says:

It's the weekend Greg. Give your asshole a rest - stop spouting crap.

Hamletised says:

Q: What a blind and ignorant man I am, Hamletised, that I find it so difficult to love you. I want to, I honestly do. How can I learn to do so?

A: Take up fencing.

Shite lover says:

Actaully, I wouldn't move watching a little thai babe shit on another thai babe and then they could blow the goat together.

Gerg says:

Seems like the Greg vermin has disappeared back under the stone it crawled out from. Heavens be praised - God is great!

nguoi says:

i need to know this . why?

Mike says:

Great, great fun, true or not! Made my day again ;-)) I did not shit on any table, but at least pissed in my pants!

Besides, David, please install a private chat or forum for Jim Beam and Greg, so the rest of us can continue more easily enjoying your site!

John U says:

I LOVE LUCY

You've all taken the piss out of us Welsh and NewZealanders just because we breed tough sheep.

But what about the Croats and gotes? I kid you not. This is from The Independent newspaper in the UK, today 4th. July.

"Dozens took part in a beauty contest for gotes in western Croatia last week (dozens :<) ). The winner was a slot eyed stunner called Lucy. Owner Ivan Perko said 'I always knew she was the most beautiful gote in the world' "

Ok, OK, my spelling of goat - but I like it that way :<)

stu_$ says:

i was goin to complain about people talkin shit here
but thats the topic anyway isnt it ?

besides that where i come from we take the piss out of new zealanders cause they fuck sheep,
i dont remember anyone saying they were tough sheep,
must have meant to say "tough to hold em still"

John U says:

Well the Welsh sheep are tough anyway, but nervous as fuck. :<)

omar says:

i love u nov

omar says:

i want some nasty pics of nov pls send me!!!

Blog says:

Whats your email address Noy?

Nonbeliever says:

I do not believe that there are Thai females who would be willing to deficate, urinate, and commit acts beastialtiy in front of other human beings. No way!

eurobserver says:

how simple can someone be...!!! ever heard of those little sheets of printed paper called cash???
If they are willing to smoke cigs or open beer bottles with their pussy, shitting on a table ain't far away anymore !!!

IFinityou says:

I have been many times in Khorat and never met a girlie like that.
Noy next time you are in Khorat give us a shout by mail so me and my friends can organize Animal Farm party. That would beat the Cave.

Yoda says:

And you wonder why Google pulled out ?

Noys dad says:

why not switch it around a little,the goat shits on Noy,Noy pisses on the goat,i get pissed as shit and all three of us try fuck the coffee table..

Mario says:

YEAH !

reality is back ;-)

tonda says:

Well shit, I just want to be the coffe table then.

jhon peter says:

I do not believe that there are Thai females who would be willing to deficate, urinate,I'm having wild, unhibited, no strings attached sex with young Thai women who are truly in love with me.

BARRIE says:

great story, i live in Korat and will check this out,

Anonymous says:

"Nonbeliever says:

I do not believe that there are Thai females who would be willing to deficate, urinate, and commit acts beastialtiy in front of other human beings. No way!"

After typing 'thai' and 'scat' into google the following website appearing in the second ranking spot. Follow the free tour - it may make a believer out of you. Not for the faint hearted.

Noy's Teacher says:

Sorry Chaps,

Noy Married an English chap Called Nigel last year and has recently gone to live with him in Kent. Her English got better in our private classes but once I learned her coffee table manners were so distinctly different from my own, I was powerless to work on her grammar and instead became an arse crammer!