Fat divorcee's Kenyan sex-safari

jollyboy says:

havent the Africans suffered enough throughout history, yes I know western women are considered to be a worthy 14th wife in the swamps of the southern congo, but do the Africans really deserve these ' Ladies' - poor sods!!, anyway i'll give the africans a tip, you'll know when she's really excited in bed, she'll spit her chewing gum out.

Echobeach88 says:

Coming from an expat-Kenyan family, Dad dragged us to Kenya in the early 80s as kids to see the sights.

Grandad was an ex High court judge. Survived on 4 broken marriages and a bottle of whiskey a day until he was 89 so all the boozing and shagging can't have been half bad for him.

Anyway, he lived in Mombassa and had a Dr buddy who had been through the war and had a bit of a dislike of the 'European' sex tourists who chased after the local ladies.

Invariably the boys in town would pick up a dose or two. Dr would duly be called to the hotel to administer a shot of antibiotics. Being a man of long memory and none too forgiving, he told the dosed up Euro boys to make sure they came to see him immediately before their flight home for a 'follow up shot'.

Gunther duly arrived for his shot prior to flight back home. Dr proceeded to take a 4 inch needle and administer a parting shot (completely unnecessary of course)of saline in the arse cheek.

In those days the flights home were 9-12 hours slog. Probably pretty painful once might guess.

Dr maintained he was just doing his bit for Africa.

Dana says:

Well, the comments here will be predictable. I used to see this in the 70's in Bermuda and the Virgin Islands and the Bahamas. Secretaries jetting off for 'romance' holidays is normal and can also include drug use and parading about naked on beaches. How this is any different than whores and whoring is beyond me if we use their defintions that are thrown at us. But of course they get to have a double standard and we do not. Fuck'em.

AFR says:

I once lived in the Caribbean and saw it ALL the time. Of course, being a whoremongerer myself, I was in no position to judge....sometimes I wonder whether white people are still interested in each other at all.

Road Natzi says:

Fat chicks need lovin too!!!

Its just not a job for the feint hearted.

Is there any chance we can hire a few well hung black dudes to teach dingdongdorb and summers a little lesson or two?

Prufrock says:

Dana, of course it's no different.
Every fourth travel poster has a pair of tits on it. What does everyone think THAT is all about.
Everyone must remember that "priceless", "cute", "funny" "witty" Shirley Valentine movie twenty years ago.
It was a response to Lina Wurtmuler's original "sexist, Neanderthal, male- chauvinist" *Swept Away . . * that had Mareiangela Mellati begging Giancarlo Gianini to "Sodomitsa mea, Sodomoitsa mea" for post-prandial exercise in lieu of the usual moonlit beach stroll after a splendid seafood dinner of raw lobster.

All the second class resorts of the Carri bean used to be paved with sun-burned sizzling Canadian nurse-flesh for three or four months of the year.

Beach boys in Zihuatenejo/Ixtapa all sported ladies Rolexes the day after the daddy's girls headed back to Dallas after Spring Break.
This was all right in the fucking middle of all that feminist dogma and political arslicking.

Om Sin's close girlfriend maintains that girls from Udon, Nongkhai and Buriram are the REAL sex tourists of Thailand.
The regular chicks get to pass their whole lives here.

James says:

That has to be the funniest bit I've read in a long time. A bonafide classic. I'm in tears.

Cat says:

I'm bemused. What has this got to do with Bangkok!?!

Rosy says:

I want to say that many times when I (a white American middle-aged woman from Maryland) have been hit on by men, they have typically been African or Asianic Indian, and extremely handsome and masculine. White American men that I have approached have always been cold and elusive or not physically attractive, over-weight, Viagra-prone and alcoholic. On top of that I am sick of them bitching for nothing. They've been angry or confused about the type of women they want. The white men I've been friends with come to me in tears because of the way other women treat them, yet they've never wanted to have anything to do with me on a sexual level.

I've endlessly searched the Internet to try to find the answer to the question of why men of Afican ethnicity find me attractive while men of my own race don't. Many sites claim that White women marry African men due to a sort of African fetish among white women. Well, traditionally I've not been attracted to African men so it's not a fetish on my part. It is the men who hit on me. Yet these very same men who approach me are hit on by other white women who do seem to have this fetish. (One gal who hit on a man who found me attractive declared "I love African weiner!").

(As a side-note, I am beginning to let go of my paranoia that most African men treat all white women as an ATM-machine. I now embrace the idea that perhaps I was not meant to live with men of my own race. And on top of that African men have such soft skin and are so masculine. What's a poor gal meant to do?)

Combover says:

Why the bitter comments? Good luck to 'em I say.

chop_kin_hoi says:

Could be a good thing this. Let's hope the word spreads and more of them decide to go. Preferably with a single ticket :-)

meister says:

Good luck to 'em. I hope they have their little bit of fun!

Jason says:

Brilliant I love it. Really hilarious!

thebamboorat says:

The Horror, The Horror…….Those poor bastards! War, famine, pestilence and now the "white woman's burden" perhaps better rephrased as "the burden of white women."

I wonder how long it will be before that paragon of balanced travel writing, The Lonely Planet, will start including a section for female sex-tourists in their guidebooks. They could include it right after the gay & lesbian travellers section. Which in turn usually comes right after the bit where they sneer at the male sex-tourists.

Wombat says:

Rosy

You answered your own question re why African men hit on you - money.

I suspect a look in the mirror without the rose tinted glasses will reveal why your male friends don't find you sexually attractive.

Incidentally, I don't mind the occassional fat chick. That is why God created alcohol in the first place. They are also a lot like scooters. Great fun until your mates see you on one.

Grunt says:

Gotta love the ambivilant terminology used in such stories. Its all so prim and proper. Nothing to see here, move along.

But stories concerning western men seeking foreign ladies? Break out your Phantom of the Opera soundtrack as its gonna be a train wreck.

All thats left is for David's alter ego, little miss dicer, to slap on some lipstick and a cheap thong like the bum troubler it is.

chris says:

good luck to them someones gotta do it.

Frockprude says:

this is just the kind of double standard I expect from loyal stickman fans like Prufrock. the fat old whinging euro-women need some outlet so why not let them have it ? maybe, with enough sex, they will quit bitching. Prufrock is just mad at the world becuase he doesnt have a lot of money and sees Kieth Summers behind every shadow.

Prufrock says:

Froskodude: In one short SIGNATURE semi-literate post you were wrong about me as a Stickman fan, failed to understand my post, mis-characterized the women IN my post as fat and undeserving of sex in warm climates when I was just after the hypocrisy of it all, and that, and this might, if you're smart, sober you up a little, that you've narrowed yourself down to a person who reasons, spells, punctuates, and emphasizes the obvious.

It's your signature.
Like a man with an embarrassingly short dick or a premature ejaculator: You just can't shake long enough to shed the drop that inevitably stains your flyfront.
Interesting probe for a boast about any resources I might have, though. . . . . that'd be two in the same day, right.

There are no shadows here.

Wombat says:

Prufrock

Premature ejaculation is a myth perpetuated by women. It is, in fact, effective time management.

The sooner you can get to the pub to tell your mates.

ozricdan says:

as long as they are there and we are here.............its all good.
as chris said some poor fuckers gotta do it. just not me!
i also have to say the african women next to me here in the internet shop is so huge even bigger than some of those fat arsed white bitches...........

thank heaven for nice thai girls

bye

kwai mai sabai says:

Grunt,
I'd rather peruse one of Dicer's epics any day than listen to your neanderthal prattle.
At least his reading material goes beyond Soldier of Fortune and his IQ is probably 2 or 3 times higher than yours. Not only is he a gentleman and a scholar, he likes rap music done to Gilbert and Sullivan which tells me he also has a sense of humour.
Have YOU heard any good jokes lately?

Grunt says:

Same syntax, same prose, same pseudo-intellectual spew, same American female-esque arrogance...

We can safely add "kwai mai sabai" to little miss dicers list of alternate nicks.

dingdongrb says:

"Fat chicks need lovin too!!!" - Road Nutzi

It appears that with the limp dick that Road Nutzi has he can ONLY get fat women. (I'm sure he pays by the kilo too.) Get those 50lb bags of flour out of stock Nutzi.....

jollyboy says:

come to think of it, I dont see what i am bothered about, at least I havent got to wake up next to a fat slag, by the way-
Q, How many male chauvinist pigs does it take to scrub a toilet?

A, none , its a womens job.

kwai mai sabai says:

Grunt,
Wrong! I could only aspire to achieve Dicer's intellectual plateau. I am not worthy; merely an admirer.
BTW, what'd you think of this month's Soldier of Fortune magazine?

FOINE says:

Charlotte Rampling may be fast approaching 60 but she's still a hottie! (and by no means fat?)

Grunt says:

I guess kwai mai sabai/little miss dicer are the chavscum masquerading as *cough* "intellectual" around here?

Too much prozac has rendered David unable to recognize that back in 2005, the comments section was full of witty and amusing additions by a dozen odd folk.

But now?

4 or 5 campers as boring as the day is long. David frantically swapping webpage layout, shoveling articles in an attempt to cover quantity not quality, passing information along to said nitwits in an attempt to appease. Meanwhile, little miss dicers homosexual rage continues unabated.

The Alexa numbers must tell a very dreary tale indeed.

Nobody to blame but yourself, David old boy.

Prufrrock says:

@ Mr. Foine. Charlotte Rampling in an SS officer's cap and black underwear in "The Night Porter" and with Connery in Zardoz. As sexy at 55 in the Swimming Pool as the French chick shew co-starred with.
Brilliant film BTW.

Wickerman says:

"Her bottoms were very wide"

So I'm walking down Sukhumvit Road hand-in-hand with a 20ish Thai honey when this fat, smug, self-righteous American woman waddles up to me, waggles a pudgy forefinger in my face, and says indignantly "Sir, you should be ashamed! Why, that girl is young enough to be your daughter!"
"I beg your pardon, Madam", said I, equally indignantly, "she most certainly is not! Why, she's young enough to be my granddaughter!"

Common Sense says:

Wickerman,
That was priceless. Wish I would have been there to see it.

dutchpickle says:

A greenpeace guy was mumbling something about saving a whale - harpoon a fat chick.

Michael Tay says:

And us Asian guys, never get any chicks. Not even a whale, while I was in Dallas.

Wombat says:

Michael Tay

What were you looking for in Dallas. Women or whales?

dutchpickle says:

The fact remains that many young hot blondes from Europe are part of the sex seeking tourist crowd that goes to Africa for action. The US and Canadian girls usually opt for the Carribean.

Some just stay home and do their touring there. Go to any college town in the US and you will often see a pretty blond with a solid black kid in tow. It's the trendy thing nowdays, kind of like Angelina J and Mia adopting kids from as many different countries as possible.

Or go to Bali and you will see the "Kuta cowboys" in action with their western and Japanese clients, not all of whom are sun wrinkled ageing plumpers.

As in Thailand - Not all the men seeking action are ageing porkers with odor problems either. Of course all "mangosauce" people are prime specimens of masculinity and class, just ask their "girlfriends".

Pardon my inferior writting but I am not as smart as you guys.

thai guy says:

i've just read through all the comments here. it's just amazing that there's not one single mention of the many white women who are having sex with the local guys, here in Thailand.

just to inform you everyone, a lot of white women are having sex with thai guys here. especially on the islands. also, most of these are attractive young women, who are doing it with thai guys here. most of these white girls are not sex tourists (didn't come here mainly for sex), they're just looking a bit of fun, while on vacation here.

Wombat says:

thai guy

Each to their own I say & good on them as "most of these white girls are not sex tourists they're just looking a bit of fun, while on vacation here".

THe absurdity of double standards is that a man who does the same thing is a sex tourist. Spare me your hypocrisy.

Looper says:

In a brief respite from farangland enforced celibacy I have been having a Kenyan sex safari of my own with Gaia from Nairobi.

These black hoochie mamas are a handful. One of her breasts is bigger than a Thai girls head.

Prufrock says:

@ Looper: "These black hoochie mamas are a handful. One of her breasts is bigger than a Thai girls head."

The beach at Malindi some years back my buddy Herbie (just out of Rutgers) and I were picked up by two charming local girls.
They invited us back to their place for sex and a cup of Milo.
Herby's question to the pair has stuck:

"Um, ah, Tell me. How long have, uh you girls been called Beatrice and Lillian?"

Looper says:

I don't know much about African girls other than what I have discovered on safari but I think a lot of them do have alternative 'English' names which they sometimes use instead.

They also have big arses.

liz says:

Wombat says:

thai guy

Each to their own I say & good on them as "most of these white girls are not sex tourists they're just looking a bit of fun, while on vacation here".

THe absurdity of double standards is that a man who does the same thing is a sex tourist. Spare me your hypocrisy.

May 11, 2007 7:44 PM

lets face it, the vast majority of single farang guys who come to thailand, are looking for sex with thai girls, first and foremost. having said that, i see nothing wrong it, though. most single farang girls however, don't come here with the intention of shagging thai guys, and that is the main difference.

are there farang girls who are sex tourists, in thailand? of course there are. but they are few, compared to the many farang male sex tourists here.

Lao rock rat says:

Absolutely liz. So in order to solve the problem, we need to increase awareness among farang women of the possibilities Thailand has to offer - this should not be for men only. Would you like to cooperate with me in that field?

hornykenyanguy says:

how come these sex tourists dont come inland to nairobi? they wouldnt believe the untapped potential the minute they step out of the airport. they wouldnt have to pay for it at all. kenyan male youth are dying to take a crack at euro/american pussy regardless of its packaging. fat, thin, hottie or not so hottie. so come on down cause y know that a black man wont dissapoint where its crucial.