Boom boom now or your testicles fry

Dana says:

Panda Love and Artificial Panda Insemination

Mangosaucers I suggest that this obscure topic will be the Sisyphusian literary blog spew test of Dicer. Can he produce 5000 words on this? Can he combine autobiography, and history, and psychological nutso babble, and obscure Dicer wordisms, and dense long pontification like he has before on this subject? I think with this David gauntlet thrown at his feet he is now at base camp and staring up at the peak of Everest. I wish him luck. Godspeed Dicer and my bet in the office pool at Sociopaths Are Us Inc. that I so proudly belong to is that you can not do it. This topic is beyond you. You are beaten little buddy.

anonymous says:

"An electrode is inserted into the rectum. A series of up to six shocks is passed through the electrode to achieve erection. The electrode is then withdrawn slightly and the train of shocks repeated to stimulate ejaculation."

...in other words, what Prufcock calls....a typical Thursday night.

Bloody Mary says:

"...recent TV reports have shown him humping the ground in a rather suggestive manner."

...or Prufrock's idea of a wild Saturday night...

Mac says:

News item:
"Mounting Problems For Chuang Chuang And Lin Hui As Zoo Officials Face Charges Of Pandaring"

-Shocking revelations of kinky interspecific sex acts

Dicer says:

He lit up like a pinball machine thinking that I'd fall for the cheap ploy.

I think the sooner Dana goes to Pattaya and get his bum smooched, or work those ladyboy joints the quicker he can go back to his usual three line disquisition. The resounding theme is one of a thin-skinned temperamental man's uncontrollable urge for females that ripen late, females he pretends to be coaxing into their fullest expression...females in tucked away corners of the globe. And he feels exalted by having reported this experience. It's not the doing it but the reporting that makes his day. Dana the man-lecher skipping along in a light step of awareness.

Dana says:

Mr. Dicer never used to write like this, and use a tone like this, and say things like this until I stumbled into the ex-pat treehouse. Is that a reflection on me--or is that a reflection on Mr. Dicer?

Dana says:

The strangeaties of illogic.

Act One: In Thailand if a farang and a Kingdomite are in a traffic accident it is sometimes ruled the farang's fault 'because if he had not been there the interaction would not have happened.' We are so quick to condemn this childishness; but wait--another example:

Act Two: When Impressionism was in it's infancy in France early gallery exhibition goers confronted with art beyond their ability to understand sometimes tried to scratch the offending paint off the canvas. Confronted with storytelling beyond their faculties they turned childish and aggressive.

Act Three: Dicer scratches away at my character and my work in the new gallery--the Internet. Is this criminal behavior all his fault? No, if I was not there the lion would not feel the thorn in his paw. Dicer is the lion. I am the thorn. The thorn is all he thinks about, and the thorn cripples him. He is no longer Dicer, but Dicer crippled. I'll take the credit and the blame for being the thorn. He can scratch away at my art all he wants because history always tells the same story. Everyone remembers the art, no one remembers the critic.

Nic says:

Who cares if the Pandas Fuck?

Leave these poor creatures alone, let nature do with the Pandas what it wants.

but let me tell you this, would you be able to get a hard-on if some schmuck was by tour side everyday running all kinds of tests on you?
I sure hope the Panda fucks the Human asshole who moved in the cage with him... would teach him a lesson for sticking his nose where it doesn't belong.

Panda Fucking belongs to the Pandas.

dingdongrb says:

David,

What happened to your recent article? Why did you remove it? And what happened to my posts I placed?

Did the Thai official that called your home take you out back and cane you?

-----------

Hi dingdongrb

Yesterday, Mango Sauce was hit by a denial of service attack, which disabled its database server.

Once my hosting provider had helped me clear up the mess, I restored the site using the previous day's backup file.

Readers' comments made during the attack were lost - as was my article about today's anti-government rally.

The Thai official who called me 24 hours previously didn't make any threats. She just wanted to confirm my identity.

I can only speculate on the attacker's motives.

Regards
David

Anonymous says:

Why on earth would a random Thai official call to check anyone's identity via the telephone? Whatever the motive, it can't be beneficial.

Mike says:

Hi,
David, first up, thanks for nice site. Second, bit peculiar, but have you seen the little notice on 2bangkok.com today?
"Server load issues/attacks
2Bangkok.com is experiencing server load issues from both high numbers of readers and some DoS attacks on the site. If 2Bangkok.com is offline from time to time this is why. We are working to get the problem solved."

:-O I wonder also what other foreigner owned, hosted in Thailand (?) (and local) forums and sites are experinencing. I am not myself user of thaivisa for example...

Road Natzi says:

Anonymous,

Neither David or Prufrock need me to fight their battles, however I just can't help myself at this point.

I have been noticing you have a few swipes at Prufrock and now you appear to be starting on David. Your attempts are purely pathetic, so either step up to the plate dickhead or fuck off back to your regular ANAL FISTING BLOG.

Perhaps you could leave the THAILAND BLOGS for those who have actually travelled there. In turn you could start your own blog about your own life, theres plenty of other low lifed fools in this world that will join you there. IDIOT !

Road Natzi says:

David,

While the thai officials were busy fucking with your site, I was busy ripping a few comments in on Mango, only to lose the bastards.....I thought my fucking computer was playing games and consequently YOU OWE ME A NEW KEYBOARD, the other one is at the bottom of the stairs, or should I say the biggest part of it is at the bottom of the stairs.

My work is priceless, as you know and now I will have to re-medicate to knock a few more out.

So either cough up a new keyboard (preferably with a sexy thai secretary attached to it) or give me the name of the official so I can introduce him to Mr Cranky Fucking Arse Road Natzi with a 't'.

Anyway, the other thing I had to say is, I heard the thais are building a new jail 'somewhere', apparently where they are going to put you, me and a few others.....I just hope no cunt invites that fat mole carrie.

Mr Thaksin, BKKchat.org says:

wonkers all wonkers.

looks like poor davo's been silenced againnnn by the elite few Nazi's of the LOS's.
Police states eat your heart out.

Thaxo.

Prufrock says:

Oh, ok, "denial of service", eh? Geez, I was upset there for a moment. Shit man, I, um, thought it was something *I* might have said. . . .
or something.
And while I'm thinkin' like this, (all cautious and wary and all) did that govermint lady who called you by any chance identify herself as Keethintra Sommeropoo?
Cause if she did, I suspect all bets concerning Keith's imminent state visit to Pattaya, are now off.

Prufrock says:

Heschey "Dana" Nausbaum, Greater Boston's Junior (1 bdrm, 1 bth) condo salesman of the year 2002,2003 and part time, Pattaya Sex Dwarf:

We just remember you as the guy who wrote a deathless paean to shriveled uncircumcised lady-boy penises and dick cheese a while back.

You're a pathetic self parody, Heschy

Baby Driver says:

things are getting scary in Thailand i notice sticks site down too. if I could stomache the great git galt I would check his site as well

dingdongrb says:

RN - As David has mentioned it was a 'her' and not a 'him'...Too bad you can't tell the difference between the genders.... BTW, your keyboard didn't end up at the bottom of the steps...It landed up your ass... Pry it out with your miget friends. I'm sure Pruie will lend a hand....

Also, yes you are correct, your work is priceless, like anyone gives a fuck!!

Road Natzi says:

dingdongicouldnt scorearootin anaidsinfested ladyboybar,

TUTT TUTT, YOU IDIOT, Get over yourself and move away from you frozen chicken fettish, your mother is missing her daily cunnilingus, so get back on the job, you know how much she loves to fist you as you do the job...keep it in the family...lets face it, its the only sexual contact your likely to encounter.

Road Natzi says:

Dingdong,

I know it was a her on the telephone, but lets face it the bitch is probably only good for the odd telephone call and a quick police under the workplace desk, you dont really think a thai women could have achieved a completed 'take over' of internet service, that would have been contracted out to someone with a BRAIN. So we can definately rule you out of the picture. GET OVER YOURSELF COCKHEAD, BEFORE SOME TEACHES YOU A LESSON !! (Not a threat, a promise).

dingdongrb says:

RN,

'Promises' were meant to be broken.... So I take it you're feeling lucky?

Wally says:

Is that true ? One zapp up the kyber and instant boner ?

dingdongrb says:

Hey Wally, don't ask Road Natzi that, cuz I'm sure he's never had a boner. But, many boners have had him....(and from sources, it was up the "kyber".)

David says:

Breaking news: Chuang Chuang gets Tazered up the arse.

Lin Hui was reportedly begging for sex last night but Chuang Chuang couldn't rise to the occasion. "He just wanted to play," said keepers.

Today, they went ahead with artificial insemination.

Road Natzi says:

David,

That is fascinating and now we can all see that ding dumb definately has something in common with Lin Hui regarding artificial insemination.

In case you are having trouble following me, rumor has it that ding dumb was actually created after 300 retarded homosexual pigmies masturbated into a bucket, which contained pig guts, before the bucket of 'splurge' was disgarded in an abandonded paddock, where a female magot was inseminated, the product of which was ding dumb.

Anyway, I know its a vile thought, but lets face it, everthing about ding dumb, what he spews out into mango sauce and his general outlook on life is very vile.

Prufrock, calling prufrock !!!! What are you doing?

dingdongrb says:

"Prufrock, calling prufrock !!!! What are you doing?" - RN

Road Nutzi calling Pruie..(how cute).... What a thought, like he doesn't know where his good buddy is at... Well we all know that all Nutzi has to do is bend over and look then he'd find Pruie up his ass....

...and just what is he doing? Looks like he's making a turd sandwhich for himself!

Prufrock says:

Hi Road.
I'm busy working out an attrition/recognition formula for bungledongle's screen name.
I figure that after twenty or thirty more posts from dwaynedinglrub that anybody'll be able to refer to him as ANYTHING and anyone on this board, new readers and all others will be able to understand who they're referring to.
I call it verbal oragami

It works kinda like "branding".
We first make the dinglerubname a household word for vapid. Then we play of the denotations and extrapolations until just about anything conjures up this image of a big-ass doofus Buford wearing Elvis sunglasses (by Tissot) a weightlifter's belt and an old dial-phone wedged into his butt cheeks next to a pair of heavily soiled electrodes cruising in circles somewhere in a tuk tuk between Suvannaboom and Don Meuang.
I'll be back to have a go at dwanglethong in a day or so after he figures this out.

Road Natzi says:

Dingdammy,

No prizes second best loser!

dingdongrb says:

Miracles do happen... You two can communicate while affixed to each others' ass... Miracles.. Miracles... Miracles... Hail Mary, I have seen the light.

Prufrock says:

gerbildanglerb: It's not really much of a miracle if you have a brain. Lots of stuff is like that, gerbildanglerb
I carefully explained the whole process in that post just above the one you attacked.
I also explained as politely as I could that the understanding of it was way beyond you. . . . as far beyond you as your "Hail Mary" would be from any revival tent anyone's ever heard of, (Right?).
I figure you were probing your screen for Mail Hary, but the MS site has no "seek" window so you just fingered "Post" thinking it was "Submit". All the same to you, right,gerbildanglerb.

Anyway, thanks for keeping us in your thoughts, gerbildanglerb.
But (sigh) as I predicted, there was no way you were gonna be able to tackle anything more than two or three sentences long, now was there? Really.

Once again, it's pretty clear to me that there's only one ass actually involved here and really only indirectly.

As you well know (since you're constantly scraping your hand scabs on that old dial telephone from the Lassie series you keep up there, the one with the two bells and the crank?) whenever you jerk your hand out too fast to type us a line or two.

Ooops . . . pizza's here. Gotta go :-)

CanadianBacon says:

So glad to see Mangosauce back on line with the veritable treasure trove of literary icons..... Now I can get back to planing my great escape to LOS