Chiang Mai's porn-loving pandas

NotAnyBKKWebsite.com says:

Now there's another business opportunity for anyone running a struggling motorcycle turnlight manufacturing operation in the provinces: sex tours for pandas. I'm always hearing about pandas and their problems getting it on, maybe some organised exposure to the "wildlife" in LOS might get them in the mood. I'm sure one could arrange for the girls in a Patpong gogo to dress up in panda suits and perform fascinating tricks with pieces of bamboo, for example.

Pants Elk says:

Lin Hui looks pretty hot to me. You know, like she *wants it*? What she needs is a monster-cock farang panda mate, not one of these noodle-hung Asian lady-pandas.
Or maybe what Chuang-Chuang (and what kind of name is that for a studly porn star?) wants is to see a lesbian panda show first, get him in the mood. Just rolling around chewing leaves and looking endangered isn't working for him any more.

DW says:

"Even if the pandas do understand what's going on, it's hardly going to help the captive breeding program if, at the last moment, Chuang Chuang pulls out of Lin Hui's arse and goes off over her face."

Would this then be a loss of face for the pandas? (Sorry, I couldn't resist...)

NotAnyBKKWebsite.com says:

nothing to do with the pandas, but here's another great take on the species "farang woman" (of the UK variety) for you:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/6213686.stm

Andy says:

Wonder if there was ever a species more ripe for extinction than the Giant Panda.
As if low sex-drive wasn't enough of a problem; it only ever eats bamboo, and needs about 500 hectares / day just for breakfast...

Paradoxically, the Chinese seem to revere these animals and try to preserve them, whilst eating their way through the rest of the world's species like wildfire. Obviously Panda meat doesn't give one an all-night hardon; fifteen sons; and great luck at playing Mah Johgh. Fair enough.

Meister says:

Who's your Daddy Lin Hui?

Looper says:

David, if you did those pandas yourself (fnaar fnaar) then I doff my cap at your willingness to go the extra mile in attention to detail in what is clearly a photoshop masterclass.

chris says:

saw some pandas in a zoo in beijing wright lazy bastards no wonder there nearly extinct well that and they being looked after by the chinese i mean they could not organise a piss up in a brewery,u will know what i mean if u been there.mind u lin hui is pretty hot and id be more willing to offer y serives to a thai panda compared to a mere chinese one!

Grunt says:

Have to say I admire the Panda way. Some bamboo shoots and porn flicks and Im good to go.

Fantastic link! http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/6213686.stm

Good job NotAnyBKKWebsite.com!

I notice dicer hasnt hogged this topic up as per her usual modus, but me posting here may to draw her like a moth to a flame.

Hugh Jarse says:

I think I've seen that mating picture on www.giantpandaonline.org, but their pandas are all dumb. At least your panda talks to his female when rogering!

Dicer says:

http://www.onelocalnews.com/whiterockreviewer/
ViewArticle.aspx?\id=37875&source=2

' "Coyote Girls have to be in the right place, like an animal has to be in the zoo," said Ladda Thungsupachai, director of the Culture Watch Center, a division of the Culture Ministry, which wants to restrict the dancing to nightclubs and bars'

What do you get when you mix zoos with enterprise zones?

"Every now and then, Thai society appears to fall into a period of moral panic," columnist Veena Thoopkrajae wrote recently in The Nation, an English-language Thai newspaper. "Does society really collapse because of dancing girls?"

The current wave of pompous morality that is flowing across Thailand like an oil slick serves as a reminder to outside observers that Thailand's cultural policemen being profoundly immoral in public matters compensate by insisting upon what they think to be a rigorous morality in private matters. And the boys in the Culture Ministry seem to have registered their morality in their mia nois names.

Every now and then they see fit to resume the grandeur of Thailand, when their mia nos come back from holiday.

To Khun Thoopkrajae I say, no, society does not collapse but fret about your pontifications. Reminds me of a story right after the Second World War when a number of New York writers were commissioned at so many cents a page to write pornographic stories for a US Senator (David Ignatius Walsh Dem, Mass.) The solon, as they say in smutland, never actually met the writers but through a go-between he guided their stories: a bit more flagellation here, a touch of necrophilia there. The subsequent nervous breakdown of one of the Senator's pornographers, who later became a famous poet, was not due to the morality of the type which makes one anxious of society collapsing as US Senators jerk off in abandon, but it was attributed to the strain of not knowing which of the ninety-six Senators he was writing for and how much the other pornographers were getting paid.

Even if most of Bangkok's bureaucrats were stuck in the dingy brothels of Huay Kwang, which they are, even if an exodus of biblical proportions by the rice maidens of Issan ensues towards Bangkok, even if.... there won't be a blip on the moral radar of these wise guardians.

And finally Natalie:

Slim, attractive Parichart, who also calls herself "Natalie," is a college student by day, pursuing a double major in law and English with a minor in hotel management. On evenings and weekends, she slips into stilettos, hot pants and midriff-baring tops for a few hours of dancing that brings in a hefty $2,000 a month. She agrees that Coyote Girls shouldn‘t appear at Buddhist temples, but doesn‘t support the wider crackdown. "Coyote dancing is not prostitution," she said. "We don‘t sell ourselves. And we make a lot of money."

What a genius this Natalie must be. Make money without selling her body. Don't you think she deserves an award? Esp. for her use of logic in cracking the link between hookering and money.

Grunt says:

Holy fucking shit!

Little miss dicer actually posts something interesting about Thai culture?!

*rubs eyes*

No dog pack references? Not one mention of "alpha male" or "great dane"?

I...I cant believe it!