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March 11 2004

10 tips for rekindling Thai hooker love

10 tips for rekindling Thai hooker love

1. Keep your travel plans secret from your Thai hooker sweetheart. That way, when you turn up at her go-go bar unannounced, she'll cry tears of joy.

2. When you find her with another guy, wearing only a thong and a puzzled expression, storm over and make an embarrassing scene.

3. Win back her affections with a poorly chosen gift that has little or no resale value. When she fails to go crazy with excitement, act like a petulant child.

4. Ask her why she isn't wearing the gold bracelet that you gave her last year as a token of your sincere and undying love. If she says that it's in her room, march her there and tear the place apart in a futile search.

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5. If she's with a guy who is younger, richer and better looking than you, cling onto the belief that she'll soon come crawling back. Spend your precious fortnight crying into your beer and getting on the nerves of fellow drinkers.

6. Hang around her bar like a stale fart, whining for sympathy from her Thai hooker mates.

7. It wouldn't occur to you to grab one of them for a massive shag-fest - so don't. Opt for two weeks of angry celibacy instead.

8. On returning home, be moved to tears by a 10-word email that she wrote to a Swedish guy called Stefan but sent to you by mistake.

9. Go to Western Union and send her 20,000 baht a month for ever.

10. Get your story published as a reader's submission on Stickman's website.

[Posted to Relationships by David]

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Readers' comments

Paul says:

Tip 1-never have a thai sweetheart

Tip 2-When you find your"girl" with another guy,be sure to be with a better and more sexy gal.

Tip 3-never ever give a gift,cheap noddle soup is ok

Tip 4-All the gold you buy,bring home for Mom.

Luddemann says:

A bit easier in the Philippines.

"If you want great sex, get a Filipina, if you want faithfulness, get a frigging dog !!!"

And even some of the girls admit it too.

TANAI KWAI says:

Hilarious, David.

(...)

rustybongwater says:

TURN-ONS: Thai Hookers
TURN-OFFS: Finding out the thai hooker is actually a guy.

Thai Girl says:

I believe, that before you are going to get rich, you may loose all your money to that Thai Hooker before you get her back.

*** THE COMMENT FORUM IS NOW CLOSED ***

Thai girl

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