June 4 2004

My never-ending rants about farang women

Bangkok-based British blogger, Masie, has given me a slapped wrist.

I used to think this site was pretty funny, but now it's just getting boring. I can take a joke, but why the never-ending, venomous rants about farang women?

If we're such washed up, old, bitter, has-beens, and you're living in paradise, why the need for mile-long diatribes about "sex-starved farang shrew bitches?" Be happy, enjoy your 2500 blow jobs a day, fair play to you, mate. Leave us out of it.

Masie is a journalist by profession so I'm puzzled as to why she's telling me to stop writing about farang women - I certainly wouldn't presume to tell her what she can and can't write about. Her blog is pretty good, though (particularly the rather amusing piece about selling vibrators), so I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and an explanation.

Masie obviously didn't like my Zoe Shrew piece (See Zoe Shrew, 25, moves to Thailand) but it's hardly a venomous rant - more a gentle parody on a clever and attractive young farang woman accustomed to pouring scorn on her boyfriend without suffering any negative consequences. In Farangland, she could get away with it but, in Thailand, she loses her man within weeks. Perhaps Masie feels sorry for her but I reckon that she had it coming. Zoe might learn her lesson and treat her partner with a bit more consideration in future - but the likelihood is that she won't.

As I've said before, I normally enjoy the company of farang women but it would be fair to say that the Zoe Shrews of this world get right up my nose. I've little time for whiners of either sex (See Stop whining you jammy farang bastard) but girls like Zoe are in a league of their own. We've all sat through excruciating dinner parties where some Zoe-a-like is listing her boyfriend's faults - while he's sitting right next to her. Though her diatribe is buttock-clenchingly embarrassing, no one tells her to shut up. If a man were to do the same to his girlfriend, he would quickly attract the condemnation of the whole group - and rightly so.

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Zoe's chat-up technique is even more regrettable. With a bottle and a half of Chardonnay inside her, she can normally be found backing some bloke into a corner and telling him what a zero her current boyfriend is. Depending on whether he fancies her or not, her victim will either walk away in genuine disgust or he'll nod his head vigorously while staring down her blouse. Girls like Zoe have few problems getting laid - even in Thailand - but their relationships are, for obvious reasons, usually rather rocky. At least you could have an intelligent conversation with her, though.

Zoe's dumb sisters have absolutely no redeeming features. They think that their dreary put-downs are smart and sassy. Take Mandy, for example. Getting one over on other people is, for her, an obsession. She's the girl who says "Good afternoon" when you walk into the office at 9.30am. As she munches chocolate bars over her word-processor, she "entertains" her co-workers with news of the latest diet fads and lengthy readings from her horoscope. Her burning ambition is to work in Personnel - believing that her people skills will make up for her lack of qualifications.

Though married since she was 19, Mandy will fuck any guy who buys her a couple of sambukas at TGI Fridays - assuming that he can endure her self-indulgent whining until closing time. Witty repartee plays no part in her seduction technique. She shares a taxi with her victim, invites herself in and then pretends to be drunk and incapacitated on his sofa. Her big junk-food pumped tits do the rest.

Oh dear. I was trying to make the point that I'm not in the habit of launching into venomous rants about farang women but I seem to have gone into one by accident. I'm fully aware that most of them aren't like that (Sorry, girls, it just popped out). Before Masie takes me to task again, I have to emphasise that I'm not a card-carrying misogynist and, to my own girlfriend, I'm more affectionate than a whole litter of cute puppies. She's Thai, of course, so Masie probably thinks that it doesn't count.

For the record, Masie, my rants aren't intended to be venomous. I'm just trying to suggest that certain farang girls might learn a few lessons from the Thai approach. Can we not agree that respect for other people is the best way forward? I would say this to girls like Zoe - If you can be polite to every anonymous shop assistant, why is it so hard to be polite to your own boyfriend? What do you expect to gain by pouring scorn on him?

Having dug myself into a hole, common sense now dictates that I should stop digging. I'm giving the last word to a Thai American lady called Linda who explains the Thai/farang female attitude issue far better than I ever could.

As a Thai/Chinese woman who was raised in the States but lived in LOS for 9 years, I've seen both sides of the coin, and I do agree that many and I mean many farang woman have major issues. They just seem to be very selfish. Thai women are raised a little different, we were taught to revere our fathers and older brothers, husbands and men were taught to take care of woman; it's still very old-fashioned. It's not that we are subservient at all, it's totally the opposite; it's just that it makes a happy life if you have consideration for your partner. I see it as men have a role and woman have a role. In a relationship, white women tend to demand and expect what they think is rightly theirs but Thai woman want to try to please their man to get what they want, make them happy and we usually get it with a smile, it's just the way we were raised. It's looked down upon by friends and family if we can't take care of our respective wives or husbands.

Don't get me wrong, I like the farang woman way too, they are strong confident and aggressive but I do believe that it shouldn't be used in a loving relationship; it should be used at the office.

[Posted to Relationships by David]

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Readers' comments

mr peter says:

I just forced myself to read some of masies blog, it scans like an 18 year old backpackers journal, complete with a look at all the places I have visited coloured in map.
Her political views are predictably of the left wing/all you need is love type nonsense. From April 28th:

'I think the current administration has handled the Muslim discontent as it has the Avian Flu crisis, war on drugs, EGAT privatization, and pretty much anything it touches: with bull-in-the-china-shop brute force and callous insensitivity'

Maybe our masie would prefer it if drug dealers, murderers and terrorists were given counselling and trips to Hua Hin instead of the bull in the china shop treatment. Masie may prefer the UK system of doing things where this week in Cornwall a female driver/drug user without insurance was fined �83 for killing a pedestrian and then driving off. I expect she was having a bad day poor thing.

Keep slagging the bitches off David.-peter

June 4, 2004 2:30 PM

clark says:

I like and can agree with Linda's take. Your writing tends to over-generalise the whole situation but being a man I do find myself laughing and agreeing a lot.

Not sure why Mr. Peter was quite so hard on Masie.

June 4, 2004 2:48 PM

mr peter says:

Oh dear I do sound bitter don't I against our falang 'ladies' It might have something to do with the latest embarassment of two weeks back. A friend invited me out for a meal at a thai restaurant in the midlands with some woman he has been shagging and her mate.. Both 'ladies' were getting on a bit in years 35/49 so you would expect they would know how to behave by now, not a bit of it. Fulled by drink they lost no time in loudly going through my mates faults for everyone to hear, his love life, work shortcomings and sacrcastic traits which they declared not up to their liking. After that 'mr miserable' came in for a bit of a slagging off including an interogation as to why I go to thailand so often. To round the evening off one of these charmers thought the rest of the diners would be interested in seeing several of her tatoos which were shown off over the puddings. So bad it was highlty amusing, now why is it I go to thailand again?-peter

June 4, 2004 2:53 PM

Tracey_Emmin says:

Peter - you go to Thailand for cheap sex and to gawp at morlam singers.

You then toddle over to an internet cafe & bore us with your witterings.

June 4, 2004 4:25 PM

mr peter says:

Cheap sex, surely not as I must have spent �30,000 in the past five years going to thailand. Mostly though these days I am bored with P4P and I have to admit to going for the beautiful music, so what? I never use internet cafe's when in LOS- there is too much to do. Why do you use the name of a rather thick woman who poses as an artist? con artist more like.-peter

June 4, 2004 5:34 PM

Dark says:

Hahaha,

Those pathetic Farang females are totally clueless.
One has to be lovable to be loved.

Perhaps if they took a good hard look at each themselves and see how they treat Men they'd learn but no!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.
If we're such washed up, old, bitter, has-beens, and you're living in paradise, why the need for mile-long diatribes about "sex-starved farang shrew bitches?">>>>>>>>>>>>>>>...

Her contempt for half the human race is contemptible.

I never want to deal with another Farang female as long as I live

June 4, 2004 5:47 PM

Gurst says:

Let me summarize my top ten annoyances about living with a Thai woman in farangland.

1. You can't move into a home that has an address containing the number 4

2. Everything in the home has to be positioned for good luck, not practicality or looks.

3. Anyhing that comes with an instuction manual, you will be setting up.

4. You have to hear the words "Gin Khao" a minimum of 100 times each day.

5. The television will mainly be playing Thai videos with the most pathetic acting you've seen.

6. They leaves metal bowls in the bathroom for brushing teeth and bathing.

7. When travelling, you will have to go out of your way to find a restaurant that sells rice. When at home, expect to eat rice every day. I mean every day.

8. They will wear flip-flops whether they are hiking or attending a formal event. They will be barefoot without socks in the house. Even in the winter.

9. Thai women are more financially dependent on their husband than farang chicks.

10. Your entire house will smell of fried dried squid and nam bpla.

As a farang that has dated and lived with only Thai women for the last 15 years, I used to think the cultural differences were cool, new, and interesting. After a while, they start wearing on you. Just like a farang or any kind of girl would do after a long time.

So instead of ranting about farang chicks, look at yourself and ask why. Maybe it's time for some change and variety. Everything gets old after a while.

June 4, 2004 11:22 PM

JR says:

It has alot to do with what the guy wants in a mate. Most guys still hold onto, I AM SUPERIOR, I AM THE MASTER, I SAY WHAT HAPPENS, mentality... which is fine if you can find a woman who can live with that.

Thai hookers are meant to live with that. It's their job.

Thai WOMEN you marry more than likely wont live with it. Some remain subservient just like how some farang women stay in an abusive relationship.
Thai women are not feeble and always bowing to the man.

Thai men know this, they know it from their mothers, their sisters, their wives. Farang men like Gurst later find out :)

We are all human and everyone has different criterias for a mate. Many Farang women have gone looking elsewhere for their mates too. As i mentioned before, me, my brother, and brother in law have farang wives. To add to this though we were educated overseas and are thus "Farangized" and we were of equal financial standing. So i don't want to see Farang women hiring out thai male gigolos anytime soon thank you :) Simply degenerates the value of real loving couples.

June 4, 2004 11:37 PM

TANAI KWAI says:

"We are all human and everyone has different criterias for a mate. (banality) Many Farang women have gone looking elsewhere for their mates too. (irrelevance) As i mentioned before, me, my brother, and brother in law have farang wives. (badly misplaced pride) To add to this though we were educated overseas and are thus "Farangized" and we were of equal financial standing. (bloatedness) So i don't want to see Farang women hiring out thai male gigolos anytime soon thank you :) (bouncing moronity) Simply degenerates the value of real loving couples. (sanctimoniousness)"

(smiley)

June 5, 2004 1:18 AM

Tracey_emmin says:

I think you missed out sloth & gluttony.

June 5, 2004 4:44 AM

JR says:

You have a problem if you see that theres some sort of PRIDE involved with marrying someone of another nationality or race. As for getting married to your soulmate and compatible companion, theres no better placed pride than that.

Other nicknames for Tanai Kwai (analytical, belittling, biting, calumniatory, captious, carping, caviling, cavillous, censorious, censuring, condemning, critic, cutting, cynical, demanding, demeaning, derogatory, diagnostic, disapproving, discerning, discriminating, disparaging, exacting, exceptive, finicky, fussy, hairsplitting, humbling, hypercritical, nagging, niggling, nit-picking, overcritical, particular, reproachful, scolding, severe, sharp, trenchant, ) ...now they can add "Tanai Kwai" to the Thesaurus.

For future reference, don't try to analyze my postings for grammatical or PCness (politicially correct). You won't get an apple from me. I am one of those who opt to "murderlize" the english language in order to expedite petty conversation, aka Americanski :P

To reiterate:
to the Farang womenz, you dont have to stick around and wait while the Farang men go whoremongering. Despite what they keep saying Thai men are neither penii challenged nor the drug dealing, unfaithful, broken english speaking mongrels they make us out to be.

ciao!

June 5, 2004 9:26 AM

Skye says:

Right on JR. Are you available for dinner? I know you're not small penii'd

June 5, 2004 10:27 AM

whippet says:

Gurst, maybe she's just hungry?

;-)

June 5, 2004 10:33 AM

TANAI KWAI says:

Strumming my pain with his fingers,
Singing my life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song,
Telling my whole life with his words,
Killing me softly with his song ...

(...)

June 5, 2004 11:23 AM

Nahm says:

Here, here JR... but how tall are you???

June 6, 2004 2:55 PM

Nahm says:

It was a JOKE!!!

June 6, 2004 2:56 PM

Metronil says:

I think the facts are obvious...Fat, White Farangs just cant compete with the better looking, more sensual Thai women.

The jealousy is obvious.

June 8, 2004 11:12 PM

Linda says:

I'm glad most of you guys like my comment...it was my own observation living in both cultures.

I would also like to add just for reference sake that my Chinese background toutes that to be a good wife/keep your man you must be a hooker in bed but a saint in public, this is very old fashioned, and I don't think this is said that much anymore. The Chinese/Thai also believe that when you put down your partner in public it's like putting yourself down because he/her is a reflection of you, you're the idiot who chose him/her, if you don't think they are worthy than dump their ass. I really believe this, but foreignors seem to do this all the time. I would sit through dinners with my falang friends and listen to them go on a tirade about their "asshole" of a mate or what a "bitch" she is and so on and so forth while I'm thinking in my head "you're a fucking dumbshit". Thais do not wash their dirty linen in public, it's in really bad taste.

I do agree that Thai woman are financially dependent because as I said earlier they were raised that way and Thai men know this and they expect it so it has worked in that cultrue. But Thai women get screwed over if the man leaves them for another woman. While falang women were raised to be independent, if a man leaves them they are fine, well financially fine at least. They just go off and find another one. We Thai woman don't have the option of banging men that catch our fancy, we would be labeled whore instantly by society but white women can and I know that Thai woman envy that, the freedom.

Women are not perfect in any culture, they are a product of the way they were raised and their environment. All cultures have their own ways it's just your own personal preference. We adapt to survive.

I think I've lucked out because I've had the opportunity to experience both cultures and I've taken values and beliefs that fit me from each and it's worked out great.

June 9, 2004 12:23 AM

Tommy Trinder says:

Linda

You make some very valid and enlightened points here. The fact that you have been able to select suitable parts of sometimes contradicting cultures and work them into a sound philosophical template speaks volumes for you. Although we've never met, I would sincerely like to meet you and to dry hump you up the wrong un. Obviously we could do dinner first as I am a man of some substance myself.

Kind regards

Tommy

June 9, 2004 12:56 AM

Linda says:

Man of Substance,

I am honored that you would like to dry hump me up the wrong un but I think that you would have a problem, my husband would definitly decapitate both your heads and then where would we be?? We wouldn't even make it to dinner. :0)

June 9, 2004 1:13 AM

Tommy Trinder says:

Ok Linda

I've no wish to lose both heads to an enraged hubby. But if he's ever away on business somewhere (preferably abroad) - one of my head's has got your name on it (although not literally you understand).

Kind regards

Tommy

June 9, 2004 1:50 AM

Metronil says:

Gahd! Who is that cackling white cow-beast on the picture?

And they wonder why why we stray...I would rather stick my cod into a tree shredder than that cow-beasts stinky jaws of death.

The Fugly white one...next to the other fugly white one.

Do Thai women really smell like squid?

June 9, 2004 1:57 AM

Dick Emery says:

Tommy, you little bastid, keep your hands off Linda, she's mine you shitpig, and so are you

June 10, 2004 5:09 AM

sofyap says:

just got back from a holiday and rather surprised to find my coment had inspired such debate. Dave - like your site for the fact that you mock most people pretty evenly, so perhaps I should have stayed schtum. posted a reply thing on my site though.

p.s. Mr Peter - not sure which website you were quoting from, but that's not mine. sorry. did you get lost? what little map?

June 16, 2004 5:46 PM

mr peter says:

Dear 'Masie'

My comments were from masiepullsitoff.blogspot.com which I believe is your site. I see it has been done over though sans schoolgirl map. I do recall many of the articles though, do they actually pay you for this stuff? amazing, still good on you if you can get away with it. I see I even merit a nasty comment on your site.Your ethusicastic back packer like tale of songkran is most amusing. Hope you do not get any further 'internal struggles'-peter

June 16, 2004 7:39 PM

mr peter says:

I notice from the Wednesday, January 14 entry, 2004 our masie really gets her panties in a twist with several quotes from mango sauce posters. I really should not be giving her crappy opinions any publicity as now you will all go and have a laugh, I mean read. She describes herself as a 'FemiNazi' well, you know best luv. It puzzles me why our masie can live in LOS yet appearently have next to nothing of interest to say about the place, can't be arsed to read any more of it so there might be somewhere. It's a confusing mess of a site, still she is a woman (I think).
Apologies if I wrongly thought any of the weird articles linked to were actually paid assignments-peter

June 16, 2004 8:22 PM

Paul says:

Peter,

You've apparently mistaken Masie's site for mine. The little map is mine. So are the left wing political leanings. I make no excuse for either, though how you conclude that a mid-30s investment banker comes across as an 18-year old backpacker from the mindless drivel that I enjoy posting on my site as a means of personal decompression is beyond me. If you and Masie wish to continue your battle of the sexes, then by all means continue. That's a fight I prefer to sidestep altogether, and find rather amusing to observe from the sidelines. However, if you want to make personal attacks on her, it is best to do so on things that she actually posts on HER site, and not on the things I post on MINE. If you find ME immature for my postings and wish to attack me for them, then by all means, go ahead. You're entitled to your own opinions, I am not afraid to vent mine, and frankly, I don't give a shit.

Paul Ark

June 22, 2004 1:22 AM

Isabel says:

Sheeeesh, what is it with you people? There seems to be this obsession with slagging off 'farang' women for this and that. Generalisations all over the place! You get good and bad in every culture. I am 'farang', I live in Thailand, I have a farang boyfriend and I respect him and I like to make him as happy as I can and vice versa. It's all about respect and making an effort isn't it? I don't see much of that around here.

What cracks me up is that according to what most people seem to say here I am supposed to be this slag bitch from hell that is way too independent for anyone's good. Oh and I'm alright jack if I get dumped and as I am already 34 I am 'getting on a bit' so better start staying home with my knitting ;)

Uffffffffffff. That's way too much hard work! People aren't perfect, wherever we may be from. We should just agree to accept our differences, afterall that's what makes us all tick and just enjoy the simple things in life and try to be nice to each other. Life's too short for all this negative babble!

June 24, 2004 3:32 PM

Prorogue says:

I see todays Daily Telegraph has a piece reminding me of this topic. A editorial piece has the writers' wife talking to him somewhat sharply in a car after what was a 'delightful evening' of listening to music. Charles Moore is a good looking chap and I suspect that his wife comes under the category of 'certain women' although the word 'beheading' springs to mind.

The Daily Telegraph is a user password site but here's the section:

We were driving home from a delightful evening at Glyndebourne. The last glimmer of day was fading from the midsummer sky and the music of Handel had put us in a happy mood. "Shut up," my wife said suddenly. "What?" I said. "Stop that noise." Without realising, I had been singing, and the words coming out of my mouth were: "A butterfly child, so free and so wild, and so full of livi-i-ing."

Any bets that Charles is looking for a quick get away in the near future?

Pro.

July 10, 2004 2:02 PM

Feng Bao says:

Here's the view

"South of the Border,
Down Mexico way."

http://www.fredoneverything.net FOE_LatestColumn.shtml

Remarkably similar. ;-)

August 7, 2004 12:27 AM

daniel says:

The picture above just about say it all.. usually am up for for debate but with this i will keep it simple....

"go away fat ugly farang bitches"

ps. why do farang girls feel the need to visit gogo bars, are they curious about elements of their sexuality or does the voyeur in them suddenly suface when they travel, perhaps they can understand what the attraction is.
because i wouldnt be seen dead in some of the gogo's in the uk.

August 14, 2006 11:24 PM

Jo says:

What do you know - I've just stumbles accross this site today and I have to say I've never laughed so much in my life. I'm a female and have lived here for about 8 years now. I'm one of those old shrivelled up, fat, ugly females but all I do is laugh here. I have loads of friends who are both falangs and thai's. I like to see the old falang guy's being looked after by the lady's here because I know that at home they, never in a lifetime, would get the same treatment and good luck to them. Some of the thai females friends I have here just tell me some of their experiences, which, by the way, are sometimes hilarious. I came here to get away from the cold, skydive and have a good time. Now I have a Thai husband who is very good to me and takes care of me. I have been to a gogo bar just to see what was so interesting about them because I didn't know there were any in the UK. Am I stupid too?

October 21, 2006 6:06 PM

Sunglasses Ron says:

Jo, you're not stupid.

You've just spoken the most sense that I've ever read on here.

October 21, 2006 9:17 PM

Derukugi says:

No, you sound cool. Wish there were more falang women like you.

October 22, 2006 11:18 AM

Grunt says:

More power to ya Jo! Us western men are having a chuckle as well.

Not laughing with you, laughing at you?

October 23, 2006 8:15 AM

Toni says:

After spending a long time in Asia, (10yrs) I was forced to return to the UK and can see so much in this argument. Most UK women are self-obsessed, money orientated, hard-hearted bitches, (sorry mum), but lets face it that is the case in any country. I had been out with various women in Europe and Asia, mainly of a certain standing, because lets be honest if you are use to certain standards you don't want to be wrestling around with the mosquito net in Issan just to get some shut-eye. Rich women in Thailand, (or cultivated because it is definitely not the same thing) are similar to their western sisters but it has to be said far more cultivated and like their bar girl compatriots are much more interested in their boyfrinds/husbands lives. Western women of all classes seem to pay little regard to their partners apart from discussing his failings. As somebody commented earlier, Asian women tend not to point out whatever poor choices in men they have made as there is a certain amount of pride involved. It seems some times that western women blame their partners for whatever failings they have. I used to be an investment banker and have met female colleagues and bosses but I also grew up in a rather poor part of the UK and have friends whose sisters had trod the DHSS route to get a flat for them and the 3,4 or 5 children they have from different fathers. In all of these women I have seen the lack of pesonal accountability that they have for the situation they are in. I recall a woman who was the head of a trading desk in New York who was sacked for her department losing a substantial amount of money in 98 after the Russian debt default and this grade 1 ball breaker blamed everyone except herself, (inluding her dealers, their assistants, the credit department - everyone), before she resorted to tears. It was pathetic. I know it is beyond the scope of this argument but it is somewhat relevant. Personally I wouldn't employ a woman at all and this is not because of my work experience but rather my mothers. She opened a small law firm and has had nothing but problems from the female staff despite her trying to accomodate them in every way.

Some attractive farang women do very well in Thailand because so many western men are bored with Thai women, I have seen a number of them in Bangkok, but despite the trappings of female independance, they are hanging onto whatever meal ticket brought them here so tightly that it is almost a wrestling hold. As for the idealist feminists and lesbians, they are just fooling themselves I have seen so many of them exploiting the poor asian girls in just the way they look down on the sex tourists. Mybe I will start writing a blog and you can all read about my German friend who ran a tourist/agency business in Indonesia - man, she went through those pretty little girls in a manner that would make our UK Pattaya tourists blush!

November 30, 2006 1:35 AM