May 11 2006

Thai women seek foreign husbands

The reasons why Thai women seek out foreign husbands are hotly disputed. Their eagerness to get hitched is plainly obvious but, until now, no one had bothered to ask them why.

BANGKOK: -- Most Thai women from Thailand's north-eastern region who enter into marriages with foreign men do so to escape the vicious cycle of poverty, but are keen to distinguish themselves from hired brides or prostitutes, according to research.

Although it is based on a study in a single north-eastern village, the report by Dr. Rattana Boonmathaya from Mahidol University has wider resonances in a society in which marriage to foreigners is a popular option.

The particular village chosen for the study is noticeable for the fact that nearly one in three of the 330 women aged 20-59 resident there has chosen to marry a foreigner, with 96 percent having married men from Switzerland.

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Also notable is the fact that most of the foreign men are 10-18 years older than their Thai brides, and that the majority of both husbands and wives have already gone through previous marriages.

Although the research points to a number of reasons that the women choose to marry foreign men, the most common appears to be the desire to escape from the poverty trap and the feeling among the women that they need to provide money for their families.

But the women also stress that financial considerations are not the only ones at play, saying that foreign men are less likely than they Thai counterparts to be concerned about past relationships or virginity, and have a greater sense of responsibility.

But the women acknowledge that the society often views them in a negative light, as 'hired brides' or even prostitutes, a view shared even by the village's older residents.

"The villagers here aren't happy that people link marriage with foreigners with hired brides. Lots of people fear that the village's reputation has suffered. Older people are trying to fight back by saying that the village is a moral one", Dr. Rattana says.

The popularity for marrying foreign men appears to have become so strong among women in the village that Dr. Rattana fears that it has become a 'fashion', with the majority of girls of primary school age replying that they want to marry a foreigner when asked what they want to be when they grow up.

What is particularly interesting is that many parents in the village now favour daughters over sons, as girls as perceived as being better able to provide for their families.

Indeed, some older people even say that they do not want sons at all, describing them as 'useless'.

For the women themselves, marriage to a foreigner provides mixed blessings.

"The women who are wives of foreign men describe it as miraculous that there are still people who value their bodies, despite the fact that they have already been married and widowed. They feel that someone has given them power for a second time. But the men in the village are afraid that their status has dropped compared to women".

The 'miracle' of marriage, however, is tempered with warnings.

One woman married to a German man and now resident in Switzerland says: "I am lucky to have found a new husband, but I would caution other Thai women who think that marrying a foreigner will give them nothing but a good life".

The woman interviewed says that some Thai women are disappointed with their foreign marriages, to the extent that they sometimes suffer mental health problems.

She also warns that living abroad requires massive adjustments, and that the first phase of life abroad can be a lonely one.

She also says that most Thai women meet their foreign husbands in their own workplaces, with 54 percent meeting in entertainment venues where the women are employed.

A further 20 percent meet through networks of relatives, while 20 percent meet by coincidence or from tourism.

What is it about Swiss blokes that makes them particularly susceptible to Thai charms? Pretty soon, we might be seeing cuckoo clocks in the One-Tambon-One-Product Scheme.

At least Swiss women will always have their faithful St Bernards for company.

[Posted to Relationships by David]

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Readers' comments

argo says:

Is this village in Roi-Et? If the answer is yes, then all this is fishy very fishy.

May 11, 2006 2:46 PM

Sack says:

It also helps that Thai women and western men are both very underappreciated in their respective cultures...a natural get together.

May 11, 2006 8:15 PM

Neon says:

It's always interesting what the PhD's discover when they venture out of their cubicles in search of data for topics they have no understanding of. The question I want to ask is does anyone understand HOW POOR some of the people are in Thailand? Who can fault anyone for wanting things in life and to want to climb out of poverty at any cost? This is not the "Survivor TV Show" this is real life, people only trying to survive. If the Swiss men and Thai women are happy, cheers for them.

May 11, 2006 11:12 PM

ajarn farang says:

Farang men have become as much a "product" as the girls it seems: reel in a foreigner and your family's financial problems are over. Rather sad, wouldn't you agree.

May 11, 2006 11:23 PM

Mandrake says:

Sheesh, have you only just worked out that this is what's going on?! Interesting to note that Swizerland is probably the most wealthy country in Europe. No coincidences there then>

May 13, 2006 12:52 AM

nahkit says:

I think the place they are talking about is near to Phuwieng. My wife had me drive through it one time because she wanted to look at all the foreigners' houses.

May 14, 2006 9:39 PM

wadsworth-hodge says:

"At least Swiss women will always have their faithful St Bernards for company."

Soon to be joined by the pathetic swiss men who will be broke and homeless once the thai women leech off all their money :)

May 14, 2006 11:44 PM

Phil-Osopher says:

Why do people have a problem with western men involving themselves with Thai women?? If this is what makes them happy,then so be it..After all,we could be dead tomorrow..Get what you can out of life at all costs..Don't spend too much time casting dispersions on others as it may reflect on how sad your little life really is..!!

May 15, 2006 3:06 AM

Hobgoblin of Venice says:

I don,t see how thia leeches could be anyworse than the fricken Vampires we have in the states,they will tell you where you can go, what you can think, who you can have for freinds, Obliterate your self respect and
throw out your stuff to redecorate just to piss you off. And when you finally get the nerve up to divorce them, Your the bad guy and they get all the stuff and you still have to pay them if they squirted out some offspring. you wanna be happy forget romantic notions of marriage.

need sex... get a whore, need compainionship get a dog. want kids... get a monkey, theyre like small agile toddlers and nobody will say anything when you leave them locked in a cage for a few days. LIFE COULD BE SIMPLE IF WE REALLY WANTED IT TO BE.

May 16, 2006 4:41 PM

Paul says:

Why is it that people seem to want to have a dig at Thai women, but seem to forget that there are more gold diggers in their own countries that nobody seems to bat an eyelid at. If a farang man is gonna get fleeced at home by a woman that lets herself go as soon as the ring is on her finger, why not meet someone in thailand who will at least attempt to make her man happy ???

May 16, 2006 5:04 PM

California Surfer says:

Speaking from years of experience, I can provide a bit of advice to those western guys who are contemplating seeking a Thai gal for long term companionship, or as a wife. You need to really understand a couple of facts:
First, 98% of Thai gals are motivated by the western mans' perceived wealth, not by the typical westerner man's view of themselves as attractive mates.
Second, most Thai women are not capable of embracing any culture other than being Thai. From the day they are born they are completely "infused to the bone" with being "Thai". They will never adapt to being western.
Third, a true "soul-mate" connection between a western man and a Thai woman will most likely never happen. In western culture it is possible for a husband and wife to be best friends, soul-mates and lovers. In typical Thai culture the women have only women friends and the men are expected to have guy friends. Forget the idea of true love in the western sense.
Fourth, a Thai gal answering yes to anything you say does not mean they even slightly agree with or in any way accept as truth any part of your statement. It only means they will allow you to make whatever statement you wish, nothing else. Forget about the possibility of any true and meaningful communication ever happening between you and a Thai gal.

In all your actions, think using only your big head, not your little head. Proceed with the greatest caution and awareness!

May 18, 2006 2:12 AM

wadsworth-hodge says:

Desperation was never the solution for finding true love.

May 18, 2006 10:11 PM

wadsworth-hodge says:

And Phil-Osopher, in contrast to YOUR comment, why do YOU people have a problem with WESTERN women? Some of the HATEFUL comments that i have seen towards them totally disgusts me. If you're gonna speak about one ideal, then don't bash the other and then expect to be respected!

May 19, 2006 1:10 AM

Phil-Osopher says:

Well wadsworth-hodge,i refer to your question "why do YOU people have a problem with WESTERN women?" Lets just clear up this misinterpretation which you've gathered from MY comment.I never hinted in any way that i had a problem with WESTERN women.I simply stated that in the western world,the majority of people have this stereotypical view of Thai women and i don't think its fair...

And i totally agree with Paul..

May 20, 2006 8:31 PM

Robert Carter says:

we only live one time.... its fun to explore... I would never marry an American woman cause its too boring. too cliche, and they are way too independant. I want a beautiful foreign wife that I can trust. I have no problem getting american women... Im actually quite the stud... I just think that the most beautiful women in the world are thai.

May 21, 2006 2:54 PM

wadsworth-hodge says:

That was a nice post by Paul. Anyways philosopher, being honest just as you say that western people are painting thai women with the same stereotypical brush, i believe the same is being done about western women. I might not be a fan of american women myself (i rather go for british ones) but i could never end my comment saying that there aren't any beautiful american woman. There ARE western women who want true love and happiness. But guess what? Most of the time they're burnt by men who just want- SEX!

LOL. Isn't that rather ironic? Some women want money, and some men want the sex only!

By setting yourself up with a thai girl, like Paul said, most likely they WILL just be interested for your money. But eh, that's your choice. I'm hoping myself that i could end up with the type of women that i like- BRITISH women. But i can never deny that there MIGHT be a decent american women out there who i could fall in love with.

P.S. I'm not even an american, in case anyone wonders. I'm from Puerto Rico.

May 22, 2006 5:02 AM

Frank G Anderson Korat says:

This 98% figure you mention might apply to the 98% of the women you are likely to run into or hear about, NOT 98% of Thai women in general. Don't forget that you are in a niche yourself, and the demographics are already twisted against you in many aspects. Finding a "good" girl, an honest one, someone who is straightforward isn't impossible. As to getting ripped off by wives et. al, anyone who is facing this situation should get some quick advice. Even as a farang/foreigner, you have rights here in Thailand, including to property. Just because ill-meaning in-laws and wives try to bulldoze you out of the way does not mean you have to take it. Fight for it, and win! Better than slinking away bruised and penniless.

May 22, 2006 2:48 PM

Carl says:

I met a thai woman on the website mythailove. She claimed to be widowed and we communicated for two months plus.

I plan on moving to thailand within the next year and she said we could meet on my trip there in December to do my survey for purchasing a condo when i move there

She claimed to own a business with her mother and sister making building products for houses. She sent me many pictures of herself and her son plus the surrounding province (Lampung (Maetha city ). However, she seemed to spend much time online and on the website mythailove, as I observed her there a few times.

All of a sudden she told me she has many male friends after I called her home once and she answered the phone and said "David " (my name is carl By the way).

I always suspected she was too good to be true and now i am quite sure she is a scam artist. And looking for money.

Now she has cut down communication with me and says she is busy attending celebrations that is a custom when a customer finishes building a house from her products. I happen to know that it is rainy season there now or the beginning, so do they build many home's during the rainy season there? I think she is a scam artist and looking for the guy with the most money.

Anyone could give me their take on this would be greatly appreciated.Thank you !

Carl (ontario Canada )

May 23, 2006 12:04 PM

Alex in Japan says:

I'm blown away....I've been reading this site for 2 hours now! First of all, I've never been to Thailand..Its a fluke that I'm looking at this..it just popped up as I was thinking aloud about working somewhere else.

I live in Japan! And I've been here about 3 years now....I was married to a Japanese woman..for 6 years...now divorced and that's how I ended up in Japan. I love Japan..and I might stay here forever...

I imagne ..that in a parallel universe I would have done exactly the same ..but in Thailand not Japan! I would have married a pretty thai girl...way too young..at just 23...and it would have ended..2 children later..with me feeling shattered and empty. Actually i'm feeling real good now, 2 years on!!!! Japan is good.

But guess what! The fault would be with me! Not Thailand..or with the girl. I wonder if there isn't in fact a fatal instinct within caucasian men to seek out pretty submissive girls who will later suck the life from them....leaving them emotionally and financialy bankrupt. Isn't marrying a bar girl..the perfect chauvinst deceit..I'm such a wonderful hansom, intelligent man ..that I'm going to save this girl..I'm GOING TO BE HER SUPERMAN and she will serve me and respect me..as the god that I perceive myself to be. It's self love.....and I'm not saying its wrong.....BUT why get married..if its all about stroking your own ego..then you'd better stay well clear of any commitment.

Back to me........Japan is not much different to Thailand maybe?..the girls here like foreign men too. And its way too easy..even if you are ugly..and you dont need to be even remotely rich. BUT its a very hard road to build a life here...easy to get laid! But then....AND I can tell u from experience.... Bringing a girl back to your home country..can be a path to ruin..and no easy ride for the man or girl. No matter your wealth or education.

So I'm curious to know what its like to be a Farang married to a Thai girl..and to live in Thailand. What's it like?

May 23, 2006 10:25 PM

tukta a says:

Carl old chap you are in for a shock. start thinking like you're an unemotional soldier behind the enemy lines of a ken casey love in theme park and you might last a week... The word love as you know it does not exist in asia. take a year or two before you even shack up with a thai bird. Until then enjoy.

May 24, 2006 1:29 PM

Einstein says:

An old man from England told me many years ago.
A woman can leave the bar, but the bar never leaves the woman.

There are also plenty good Thai woman and man who work hard and want to learn something, but don't search in the bars.

May 25, 2006 8:27 PM

Todd Terry says:

Its only money. Who cares if you get ripped off. the thai girls are poor. help them out you whiners.

May 26, 2006 9:31 AM

Clyde says:

Why should i help out a poor thai girl by marrying her? It doesnt make sense. Why dont you donate your car to India and your house to Africa, they are poorer than Issan.

The poor girls have only 1 goal in life: To get money! Any way they can.

May 27, 2006 1:02 PM

john says:

I ve met a thai in a tourist place last year and spent good time with her. I do my best to respect her and respect the thai culture.
But nine month later she went sweeden with another guy. She told me " yu give me 4k every month but him give me 25k this week so i go for 6 month. but she add " yu a very lucky guy, i'm not a good girl" So do they have sometimes a conscience for guy who do their best for her. I still have no answer

May 28, 2006 9:02 AM

sean says:

i've been going to thailand on holidays for about 5 years now and i used to have a thai girlfriend.we were together for about 2yrs and were planning to get married.she wanted me to build her dad a house(500k baht), buy gold for her and pay for a wedding of about 200 ppl.i refused ! she said it was her culture to pay for a bride. I said in my culture it wasn't necassary to pay a dowry.she said i didn't respect her culture.I said she didn't respect mine.this stand-off went on for about 6 months whilst i was travelling back and forth to uk to work. (I spend about 50% of my time in Thailand) One day out of the blue she told me that she had met a french guy who wanted to marry her and he was prepared to pay the figures she had mentioned .I told her go for it! Even up until one week before her wedding she was still in touch with me begging me to marry her and pay the money she wanted because this other guy was "too old" and "smelt" .....were her words.

So although i am 25yrs younger than her new husband she married him on valentines day last yr and the same night she sent me a text saying she loves me.

She is now living in England with her husband (he works here) and she calls me regularly saying that she loves me and will be with me in a few yrs.

Although i feel gutted that the girl i loved moved on for money i feel i am lucky in so much that after a few years with me she would probably haved divorced me and moved back to Surin with half my money.

THE MORAL OF THE SORY - All thai women love money first and all french men SMELL!!

May 30, 2006 12:29 AM

Grunt says:

American INS statistics CLEARLY show that the separation rates among American-Foreign marriages is SIGNIFIGANTLY lower then that of American-American marriages.

So, worst case scenario is you marry some hot young Thai chickie and she splits after a few years.

Well, how is that any WORSE then marriage to some bloated shreiking parasitic western female?!

If its all gonna go to hell in a handbasket, you may as well enjoy the ride with the LBFM!

May 30, 2006 5:18 PM

Skeeter Dun says:

Hobgoblin of Venice, good summation! Too bad most of us have to have "been there, done that" to know exactly the realities of life to which you speak.

Let's....
Skeeter Dun

June 3, 2006 4:15 AM

tanaleda says:

i am a Thai woman. University undergratuated degree. I had ever courted with English guy for long time ago for 3 years. Our relationship ended from one christmas night I called him at home while he was with another girl. I was broken heart at that time and did not understand why? So I later married with a Thai guy. My ex-english called me back and said he still love me. That was a funniest thing. I divorced with Thai guy after 2 years because he also had another ex-girlfriend deal with. Now I am happy with a truly good American guy and very honest,respect,and very nice. He never cheat on me .So far we have 1 3years old boy....

Thank you America... I love you

June 5, 2006 7:37 AM

maria says:

i think it isnt really fair to judge thai girls in such a harsh way.. i mean, after all been with someone (in this case "farang" men) you dont wanna be with is quite a sacrifice.. you gotta give them some credit.. its true they take your money, but you take their time.. anywaysss.. thats just my personal opinion :)
cheers!!

June 10, 2006 10:10 PM

JD says:

My personal experience of having a Thai girlfriend is exactly the opposite. Having had a very difficult young life I feel my girlfriend is so desperate to have love and devotion that I sometimes find it overwhelming. What people sometimes seem to forget is that rural Thai life, whilst not only being devoid of material wealth can also be deviod of nurturing, loving relationships. Most of us in the western world are fortunate enough to avoid real hardship and emotional and phsical abuse during our formative years. Many Thai youngsters may not be so lucky in this respect. Family, religion and the royal family are said to be the mainstays of Thai culture. Whilst these do seem to provide a degree of support, my experience is that family bonds are sometimes stretched to breaking point where real hardship is involved. Deaths from accidents and sickness, and alcholism will also be common themes from many Thai peoples family history. Combined with the strong influence of heirachy and status on family bonds and frienships, I feel it is very easy for Thai girls to grow up feeling starved of stable, loving relationships. I recently left Thailand to continue persuing my career. I can earn good money in my home country and send it to my Thai girlfriend, who judging from these comments is supposedly only interested in money. I can tell you that my Thai girlfriend would give anything for me to return to Thailand and live in a small room with her doing a manual job bringing home maybe six thousand Baht a month - IF she thought I could be happy. Do most Thai girls worship money. I think not. I think many crave a degree of comfort and stability and a strong loving relationship. If you can give them this and show them comitment and treat them as your equal, I think you will find that they will not worship your money, they will worship the ground you walk on.

June 12, 2006 5:02 AM

Jesse says:

I've been married to a Thai woman for three years now, I brought her and her two children to America and we have a son together now, She came her on a K-1 fiance visa . Afer reading that statement all sorts of sterotypes and red flags are running through your head. But they are nearly all wrong. Of course every Farang wants to think their relationship is different, but we are only 5 years apart in age (30 and 36), I am fortunate to work in the airline industry so I was able to commute to Thailand while we were courting, I saw her every 6 to 8 weeks for 1 to 3 weeks at a time for 2 years. She did not ask me how much money I made for 6 months, and I did not send money to her for that time, even then the money I gave her was mostly during my visits, for the kid's school, doctors visits and dentist visits for her, her kids and family. She managed a guest house and paid her own bills (motorbike, rent, ect..). That being said economic opportunity will always be a part of the relationship, but that can be said for any relationship with American or European women as well. In our case my wife as single mother would have been looking for the same thing no matter what her nationality, a good man who is good to her kids, who can love and suport her and her kids.
My point to all of this is that real love and relationships can be found in Thailand , but as is true anywhere it's not easy. And if you are considering finding a wife there you will need to be careful and understand the dynamics of the situation. It is true there ane many, many women looking for a economic rescue from a country where economic opportunities for women are few. Your chance of finding a real relationship in the bar are incredibly slim. bargirls have dozens of men who promise they will write, send money..ect and break the girls hearts. And on the other side of the coin, western men leave their hearts in Thailand with women who have charmed them only to find out they are only one of many who the woman writes to. It is a ugly cycle that tries to mix the exchange of money for sex with love.
My advice is take your time, the more time you can spend in Thailand with her the better. look for all the warning signs you would look for back home. Is the focus too much on money?, are her values the same as yours?, what does she expect life will be life when she comes to live with you in your country?, what are her goals once she gets there ? is there an equality to your relationship? do you see her as a peer who you can confide in? Understand that economics are part of you relationship , but it shouldn't create a power that you have over her. Learn about Thai culture, and encourange her to learn about your culture. Keep your eyes open, and know that you are facing an uphill battle. Good luck

June 14, 2006 1:37 PM

Alan says:

not so long ago I went into the centre of Grung Thep with the skytrain, and spent some time in Siam Paragon. What a beauty show! so many lovely Thai women, so many pretty smiles.
O.K. not everybody qualifies for Miss Thailand, but I have never seen such a high proportion of fabulous ladies anywhere else.
I think that even if a Thai girl is just average she already looks great. Lovely hair, beautiful skin, dressed prettily, and those fabulous cats-eyes. Just go to any shopping mall, eye-candy everywhere.

Whitsun weekend I had to return to Brighton for three days on family business, not a place which particularly turns me on. The town centre was full of weekend tourists. God! it was awefull, what is it with the chicks over there? They seem to have developed a dress culture of deliberately looking like shit. There may have been a few good average girls, and some who would have benefitted from some decent styling. But too many of them seem to go out of there way to underline their imperfections by all means possible, scruffy clothes, wicked hairstyles, no make-up, paunchy naked waistliines... any guy who likes this, well...
all yours baby....you can have `em all, and the attitude that goes with it. As for me, I¬¥ll take my chances with the Thai women thank you very much, whatever the "culture shock " may bring.
I couldn`t live in England again I couldn`t stand this visual horror trip, maybe Rainer Krack should write a new book on ‚ÄúCulture Shock England" for ex-pats who have missed all the latest trends and attitude developements. (and please, don`t anybody try to give me that corny stuff about the Thai girls being all superficial, and the English girls the real in-depth thing......)

June 19, 2006 8:31 PM

khun phan(irish) says:

Hey every one,I read all your comments very carefully and many of them made perfect sense to say the least while others seemed harsh and very cruel towards Thai women.Now i would never comment on other peoples personal experiances as most of the time they are true.I ventured over to thailand about two and half years ago for a well deserved holiday and time out from my problems back home.I'm in my mid twenties and have earned the right to speak on this topic as i am currently involved with a thai lady(business lady at that)When i set out to go to thailand i never dreamed of getting involved with a thai woman.I wanted to relax and take it easy and have fun.I did manage to do this and my experiance was one that i have never forgotton.I returned a second time and by coincidence happened to meet this beautiful thai lady.To cut the story short i ended up being with her found out that she had her own business and it went from there.My point is starting to blossom....near to the end of my time there i got very sick (maybe food poisoning not too sure) that woman almost did handstands in the way she looked after me,my every need was seen to,she sacrificed her own well being for me and asked for nothing in return.Thai women are exceptional in the fact that they are mysterious and profoundly vigilant in there society(remember there still excist class distinction in thailand and is very alarming.(not going into that check it out for your selves)as long as she knows that im being honest and not taking the piss like so many falangs do shes happy and that makes me happy thats it... she is 9 years older than me and i dont give a damn(remember im no fool if the situation looks grim in any sector just walk away) no body forces western men into any thing,many are blinded by there own private fantasy one which they think can become a reality..this was never fully thought through properly and certainly ended in disaster.....final word- we live once not twice,make the best of it ,follow your heart and be not afraid,have courage and have strengh embrace that blinding light..from paul d

June 28, 2006 2:41 PM

Canadian says:

I married a girl from my community; greatest relationship I have ever seen - only ended because she died.

Then I met an Indonesian women online; after visiting with her, decided she was perfect for me; another great relationship that will only end when one of us dies.

True that both women wanted me because I made them happy and their lives better. And I wanted them for the same reason.

But as someone else mentioned, strong morals and values, similar interests, personality styles are extremely important. Don't get me wrong - I checked them out (as I have every woman I dated) and they checked me out...

If you are just looking for someone based upon their photograph, or how often you get laid - the odds are that your relationship is doomed...

July 1, 2006 4:17 AM

Dave carlson(american) says:

On a previous vacation, I struck a conversation with a motley crew of foreign nationals at a beach-side bar; two americans, a canadian, an australian and a german. The subject quickly turned to the women of our respective countries. Lo and behold....... the complaints about bossy, nagging, and over-weight women were pretty much universal. Not to mention the piss poor, self-centered and materialistic attitudes which predominate among western women.

I'd say that it's no mystery why so many western men are turning to asian women, who are more petite, feminine and apt to cater to their men.

Seriously, asian females have turned out to be a godsend for me and apparently many other western men.

July 2, 2006 5:41 AM

todd (American) says:

I met a Thai girl on my first vacation to Thailand in Pattaya in Jan. I wont lie, I met her in a massage parlor. I then spent about 7 days with her in hotel. She and i together went to local hospital for HIV testing, both negative. I still used condoms however. I really felt at ease around her and she really is physically beautiful girl.

I left and went back to work in Afghanistan and we stayed in touch by E mail. I found myself thinking about her alot and missed her. I returned again to Thailand in May to see her ( i get vacation every 4 months from this job). we flew to Phuket for about 5 days then back to Bangkok. Then we went by taxi to her home in rural Buri Ram. this girl is 30 years old and has 2 daughters age 9 and 3 who live with her Mom and Dad in poor conditions, along with her sister in law and her young daughter( her brother works in Taiwan).

We stayed there for 3 days and they treated me pretty good. They took me sight seeing to some temples, etc. Anyway while I was there i bought them a refrigerator, a DVD player, and a large mattress for them cause they sleep on a hard floor. Total cost was about $410 dollars.

To me I really did enjoy my time in the peaceful village and I could see myself living there happily with her family which we have talked about. Of course I would build a nice house for us and I can definitly afford it cause my home in America is almost fully paid off.

I am going back in September to see her again. I have not been sending her any money at all and yes she is back in massage parlor. I refuse to send any money while I am here and she is there but could see myself moving there and building nice home for family when I take her out of that business.

Of course I have alot of doubts if this could work out happily but I think I am leaning towards giving that life a chance. I could I think overlook her past in the massage parlor if i knew she could be faithful, I just dont know. I think I could be happy there with her living peacefully in the country while i'd still have my home in the states to fall back on if things didn't work out.

I guess what I'm asking for here is some advice from you people of if I am a fool or not to give this a try? I am 43 years old, never been married and have no children (no I'm not gay or bi).
Just had a carrer in US Navy and never married. Also I just like the idea of living a peaceful life in the country instead of returning once again to the rat race of life in the states. I figure I could build a nice home for us there in Thailand and pay it off in full and then just live off my monthly Navy retirement supplemented by renting out my house in the states.

Am I crazy for wanting this with a girl who works in a massage parlor? She is beautiful and nice and treats me well but I just think she may want only a way out from that life and to be together with her family, and she knows I can give her that. I just dont know if she would ever love me, which of course is important to me.

By the way like I said I am 43 and she is 30, but I am in good shape and take care of my body. Its not like I am a fat, balding guy. Not to sound egotitstiacl but I think I am a handsome man and I have had beautiful women in the past, but I admit having some issues with the way American women are, very hard to please.

Please post advice here on my situation and what you think I should do. Thanks to any one who replies

July 9, 2006 6:26 PM

Giggy Gene says:

Interesting!!! My question would be: are there any single Thai women already in the US with the same values of loyalty and commitment which so many of you speak of,and if so, where???

July 13, 2006 3:05 AM

bazza says:

I have visited thailand many times over the years and yes I have thought about the girls and bringing one home etc etc. The language situation must be a problem.

If we both do not fully comprehend what the other means it can end up in a shamozzle!
Think of your western women relationships where she said "I DON"T THINK U UNDERSTAND ME...U DO NOT SEE MY SIDE.".etc etc !!! Now imagine with thai gals...? what the...???? or does one just get by on body language and childish english??? what say you guys with long term thai gals /wives..how is the communication?

July 15, 2006 10:20 AM

Martin says:

Todd asks:

"Am I crazy for wanting this with a girl who works in a massage parlor? She is beautiful and nice and treats me well but I just think she may want only a way out from that life and to be together with her family, and she knows I can give her that. I just don't know if she would ever love me, which of course is important to me."

There is a good chance that love would develop, 'Todd', though no guarantee, of course.

Cross-cultural relationships are different, in that each is learning about the other's viewpoint on many things which would be able to be taken
for granted in a same-culture relationship.
However, though it takes a lot longer, and may be fraught at times, the reward is a stronger relationship and each of you has learnt about another culture. And, believe me, you feel a much more enlightened person for getting that learning.

Don't get hung up about the "works in a massage parlour" thing. The crucial word there is "works". It is merely a job that she took on in order to earn money on which to survive and support her children and parents.

I think that the one thing you do need to talk through, a bit at a time, is whether the village life is fulfilling enough for her. Many Isaan women are glad to turn their backs on Bangkok and never want to go there again, but a few do get 'hooked' on the bright lights and meeting a lot more people.

For yourself, village life is even more attractive than it used to be. Nowadays, we not only have the peaceful "watching the rice grow", but also have satellite tv, the Internet, and freezers and refrigerators filled up on trips to the supermarkets. It really is the best of both worlds.

Good luck.

July 17, 2006 11:33 AM

me says:

im an english girl and had an english partner for 3 years with 2 kids he went to thailand with friends for 2 weeks without me knowing, he said he was going to spain. 1 month later i found emails from a thai woman to his email stating she loved him that they were going to marry etc. 3 months on he has left us after sending her money and all his love. what is it about thai women that british men want. well he has left 2 kids and living over there spending his money on her and her family how sad is that.

July 20, 2006 5:42 AM

todd (american) says:

martin,

thanks for the reply. Do you know about a ball park figure on how much land costs in Buri Ram? Going back for visit in Sept to Buri Ram.

Me: I am truly sorry about your husband and that is very sad. My heart and prayers go out to you. Hopefully you will meet a better man. Good luck and God bless you and your children.

July 21, 2006 9:57 AM

Marc Hourmont says:

I have read many comments on this site with great interest, I went to Bangkok in 2000 to set up a flight seat programme for a Thai tour operator and in the same office met a pretty Thai girl who was a university post graduate doing her first job, we liked each other, dated, fell in love and got married, then my problems started, her family demanded a dowry payment of 4,000 UK pounds after marriage which shocked me, my wife told me if I did not pay it her family would force her to divorce me, I loved her so I paid it!! Then I brought my wife to the UK to live happily ever after!!! Ha ha, Daddies little university educated girl could not cook, clean, run a house or do anything!! she had her own private bathroom which was filthy at all times!! In October of 05 she needed to visit her grandmother who was dying(a lie) she took all the expensive gold and money I had put in a bank account for her and went to Bangkok for what I thought was only 2 weeks, she never came back and did not have the respect to even tell me, I as even waiting for her at London Airport but she did not show up, 7 months later she phoned me to say all her money has run out and if I care for her could I send money to her as she is living in a slum....guys guys guys, Thai girls are pretty exotic and cute but the whole culture is money money money, the parents use the kids for pay back time!!
western women have lost direction with woman power which is crap, but you can still find a good loving western woman, you need 99.9% luck to find true love with a Thai woman!! she has been programmed for money!!
This is my story, hope it helps!!
Marc Hourmont

August 2, 2006 4:02 AM

Paddy O'Ffialle says:

Marc

That's a bloody shame, really.

I must be extremely lucky. My Thai wife and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary this week. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Really, they are not all crap. The jewels are just hard to find.

Best Wishes

P O'F

August 2, 2006 2:57 PM

Aajaarn says:

I have read the posts and highly recommend reading the books available in thailand that discuss Thai culture. Thailand is an amazing place, but can be a very expensive place for the inexperienced. I've read one instance that due to the difficulty of owning property for non-thais, the farang agreed to have the house he bought put in the name of his Thai wife. Two years later, she kicked him out of the house he bought and her Thai boyfriend moved in.

Also, If she asks for money to pay for the doctor because her mother is sick, give her 30 baht, because that's all that is needed for thais to visit the doctor! I would love to see her face when she receives that!

I'm dating a thai girl that never worked in a bar, but the cross-cultural differences have been difficult to deal with. She doesn't ask me to send her money, even though her finances are tight.

Its not easy, but a thai relationship definitely has its benefits. Everytime I fly home to America and see what alot of the American women look like, I want to fly back!

August 8, 2006 7:54 AM

padthai says:

Just stumbled onto your sight today... good stuff.

we all yearn for a relationship where our partner feels what we feel, wants what we want, and loves us unconditionally. where we never have to fear being rejected, deserted or betrayed. Can this ever really be? well, there are lucky couples who have found each other and are living â€œhappily ever after.â€ They are soulmates. for those thai-farang couples who are in long-term (>10 years) relationships, I applaud you, and I am curious about what made your marriages last for so long?
once i was a woman with no greater expectation than a happy and secure life centered on home and husband. i had never thought about rights, social life or politics. what i wanted was more or less what traditional wives had always wanted, but in real life has changed me ..I am thai, I would caution other thai women who think that marrying a foreigner will give them nothing but a good life". Thatâ€™s not â€œTRUEâ€ i am speaking from my honest experience about Brit (PhD.) who i married with. heâ€™s a lecturer in the University (UK). sounds to me like he swallowed a sociology textbook(wrong way to consume it). he screwed up unhealthy patterns in my life. i have no sympathy for â€œNice Guy Syndromeâ€ he just want a mother to look after him, or security, or financial support, sex being (one of them). he don't have a CLUE how to be an EQUAL with an intelligent woman .he has a LOT of growing up to do. the costly lesson i had learned had not been lost. it had given me a good understanding of the truth an d contradictions of life. there are all kinds of people in this world and basically If i don't feel a person has SOMETHING to offer me (I'm not talking money), then they're not in my life anymore.

thanks for listening/reading

padthai

August 28, 2006 4:35 PM

Kitten says:

^ unfortunately those are the main reasons certain men prefer to find Thai wives - there is no expectation of having to treat them as an equal. So sorry to hear of your experiences and best of luck for the future!

August 29, 2006 7:54 AM

DWW says:

I feel for yall that have been biten by the thai lady sharks out there. They are many. But just keep your eyes open. There are some very good women in thailand. I'm married to one with 2 boys. She has worked all her life to make it. And I mean worked the cane fields. all day for 100 baht. Like most women they are looking for security in life and love if possible. we have been together for several years. I work overseas and she cares for the home and children now, and does a very fine job at both. We have a very good relationship and the culture shock has been minimal. I've worked in many foriegn countries before. We learn from and respeck each others different ways. You can find a good wife in thailand, but take my advise stay out of the bars.

August 31, 2006 4:47 AM

Chris the swede says:

The solution to all the mysteries of dating and succesfully marrying a thai woman might be to not date poor and/or illiterate women!

Just walk into Central Chidlom and eat lunch on the 7th floor and you will see ALOT of wordly, educated and beutiful women. Dark, white and everything in between..If you ever get to date with a classy thai woman, who might even be more educated than yourself, you can stop worrying about her running off with some french bloke willing to give her the gold that her family demands..The dowry question is not even a question amongst most modern educated thai women.

It goes without saying that these women are absolutely not interested in dating some hungover tourist wearing flip flops who will be gone within the next 2weeks!

But since many of the people here on the forum clearly live here in thailand, there is really no excuse marrying a bargirl. Just play all you want with them.
But try to focus on meeting a real , educated woman who actually knows that the world is round in shape, can communicate with you freely, etc etc.. Rule number one MUST ALWAYS BE that she's educated and have a real, paying JOB. Some of you might think that it's like getting a western albeit thai looking girl? Nothing could be further from the truth! Thay are still thai, they still act in a lovely feminine way, understands the difference between men and women, and so on..

In my experience, the most jealous, controlling and downright mean wives in thailand are former bargirls married, but still jobless of course, to western men. She becomes a lazy, ungreatul monster of a person who have zero understanding for the fact that to get money, even a westerner have to WORK! Real, educated women on the other hand, are sad and miss you if you have a particularly intense period of work that forces you to maybe go abroad for some time or whatever...BUT she will understand it because since she knows firsthand how hard it is to get a good education and to earn a real, decent and taxed salary she will support you and say that she miss you. She will NOT call you in the middle of the night and say "you bad man, no give time to me! Ni sai mai deeee!" And act like a ten year old with a underdeveloped brain..Read it again slowly: 1.Education 2.Earn her own money 3.Maybe, just maybe it would not be that bad an idea to give a thai woman who is maybe not 15 years younger than you a glance? Maybe just 10 or even, dare I say it? 5 years yonger then yourself.

September 2, 2006 10:16 PM

Californian Ex-Wife says:

I was married to an American, and I was the one who stupid enough to support his finance even though he was a business man!!!

I moved to the states after we got married, but I had to pay for OUR living by taking money from my parents's saving.

Honestly, my ex-husband did not have to give money to my parents, build a house for my family, nor sending money to support me while I was in Thailand waiting for him. He even got the dowry money back from my parents !!!

There are not the only Farang men that are deceived, some of Thai women are deceived by those Farang men as well.

Please, stop saying that Thai women need only MONEY from your Farang wallet. We, Thai women, need your love, understanding,caring,honesty,and truthfulness as well.

Some Thai women are good and some are bad, just the same as there are some good Farang and some bad.

A beautiful diamond is very hard to find. Just keep looking for one that's right for you, Mr.Farang :-)

~ Ciao

Californian Ex-Wife

September 12, 2006 5:39 PM

iwuk says:

Well I may as well add my two pence worth.

I'm only 23, from the UK, talked to a Thai girl online (27, lives with parents) , said she loved me (never had a real relationship), was about to go to Uni and get a Degree, went to Thailand instead for a year.

I am here (BKK) right now and at first it was great but then she started treating me badly, ignoring me, being selfish, lying to her parents about me, getting me to pay for everything and I genuinely thought she was different.

And I have no clue as to how to differentiate between a 'good Thai girl' and a girl who just wants money as my story shows.

I go back to the UK in October.

More information can be found here:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/ianwuk

(read the post titled 'The truth is in here' or any long post really)

Thanks.

September 14, 2006 3:45 PM

Tony says:

I have a neighbor from Germany. Once I asked him why all decent farangs always hang out with pooying thai who resemble anthropoid and are from Issan region, i mean dark ones(pooying si dam)...

He said, "Dude..look..you ..your folks from North East Asia have no idea how good these gals are in bed..They do everything, everything imaginable everything conceivable, everything physically possible.."

Is that true? Is that why most farang men chorp(like) pooying issan?

Tony from N.E Asia

September 18, 2006 4:10 PM

frank says:

I have read the various posts with interest and would appreciate some suggestions for my specific case

I am 49 european living in Penang, Malaysia and I am seriously considering finding and marrying a single mother with 1-2 children at an age allowing bonding with a new father

I am more then happy to care and support the young lady and her children but I will not consider any additional financial assistance for the extended family

I will consider paying a reasonable finders fee for genuine assistance

Is my intention unreasonable...? What would be the best way for me to minimize the odds of disapointment and increase the odds of success...?

I am grateful for your assistance

Regards, Frank fdc12345@yahoo.com

September 19, 2006 6:08 PM

Akim says:

One thing people need to know is that we do exception in anything. I always argued with my friends when they say that all thai women just want money and no love. i cant just believe in it. i always tell them you guys go to areas where women will of course be looking for money. man you go to patpong, clubs, pattaya and so on.. what do you expect?? free sex and love.. no man dont waste your time. In clubs sometimes you might fine a good girl. I met a girl named lisa from thailand and she was different. she never asked me a cent and she loved me. we spent two years together and her only problem was she takes ice sometimes with her friends. i felt bad and i did my best but she was addicted to it. at the end her mum asked her to leave bangkok and she is now leaving with her mum. i am happy she has stopped it now but we are no more seeing each other. i still keep her photos in my wallet because she is special. i visited her twice and call her sometimes. Man you can find good thai girls just look around and take your time.
Dont judge a book by its cover. get to read it first.
Thank you

September 20, 2006 8:42 PM

ozricmann says:

are'nt they always...........but guys guys guys.......be careful out there.

October 1, 2006 7:22 PM

michele says:

did anybody know a place nangboat near khonburi in korat. How are the people there. I find a girl from there she seems to be nice pls advice me if I can stay with her without any problem in nangboat or it is same place as somebody was commented about Roi eit.

October 16, 2006 10:05 PM

kev says:

Righto anyone who wants to talk bad on the beautiful thai girl. Try and label them as blood suckers and pull out ya random statistics. To think you know the means and motives behind every thai girl and to talk down on them like your in the position to play judge and jury. How many thousands of men fly there way to thailand and in there short stay be with many thai girl. Paying for there ladies not they pay for you. You work to pay for your trip and you work to pay for your sex. They be with you to feed there little brothers and sisters or there children. Not cause you handsome man. Yet when back on home soil the storys of the thai lady become scape goat for your bar work. yeah there are many hookers and many bars where the women are chasing a buck. But so many be in touists areas. how much of thailand and thai woman go unseen yet labelled from the party sex areas where the tourists play. If your old enough and stuped enough to think money will buy you love from a young pretty girl half your age then you deserve what you get. If thailand were a ritch country then dont think thai ladys would just lie down for any ugly basterd. There to pretty and special for that. It sad they have to lower there standards and get labelled and disrespected for it. Myself am a Melbourne boy. Im 22 and a meat worker. My girl be thai, she 30 and lawyer and a good one at that. She crazy study not like myself. She one of the lucky ones to be born into high society in thai. But she different to her family and us being together cause problems with her and her family. We been together one year that means 11 months apart. Not easy for me to make frequent trips to thai and not easy on thai person entering aus without going through a long process. she has been aus before and next june can work in aus while waiting citisonship. We will not marry for her to come here. She work hard for that. She joke me say when she be in aus she will leave me for older man, as appose to the norm of young thai lady leaving grand pa for a younger spouse. She teach me many things about the perception of thai girls and injustice and corruption in thailand. She see many horrible things in her line of work and see the way tourists behave as they come and go. She see how hurt many thai girls be after that for a variety of reasons. I am sure there are many men that share my veiw and found that the tattoo that your experience with a thai girl left didnt wash off so easy once back home and hosed. For those who judge all thai women under one catagory i hope next time on your drunken adventure you get stung by a lady boy. Then you might respect the thai lady. Of coarse there not all sincere but so many of them are. Take care thai girl, keep ya head up

October 23, 2006 8:47 PM

Renee says:

In doing research on Thai women and marriage to Westerners, I came upon a few responses which I would like to rebut:

In response to this post by Robert Carter | May 21, 2006 2:54 PM, in which he says,:

"We only live one time.... its fun to explore... I would never marry an American woman cause its too boring. too cliche, and they are way too independant. I want a beautiful foreign wife that I can trust. I have no problem getting american women... Im actually quite the stud... I just think that the most beautiful women in the world are thai.

My response:

Robert, maybe your problem about trust stems from YOU, not the women. I myself am an American woman. If I encountered a man such as yourself, projecting your prowess and absolute MANLINESS in a nightclub, at a concert, a grocery store, etc., I would probably run. Maybe at the outset you emanate confidence and a certain "animal magnetism". However, your statement that, "Im actually quite the stud...", and your probable body language, reeks of a man who has no compunction about throwing a woman aside to check out "greener grasses". With all your "studliness", and the accompanying studly "swagger", I wouldn't trust YOU as far as I could throw you!

Also, your statement about American women being "too independent", what does that say about you? Are you afraid of a woman that speaks her mind and stands up for what she believes in? Is your ego so fragile that you can't bear the thought that a (gasp!) woman may disagree with you? And what about your statement of, "too cliche"? Do you even know what that means? Maybe, with your superior manliness, YOU just can handle a woman who doesn't take your shit! My feeling is that your view of your studliness is all in your head. I wonder, is it that you go to Thailand, with your fistfull of dollars (or Bhat), cruise the tourist-laden spots, where all the beautiful Thai woman promise to "love you long time", and your ego gets just a bit more (ahem) "engorged"?

I know you're probably wishing for those good ole days, when men were men, and women "knew their place" (translation -- beaten for talking back or having an opinion). After all, isn't our role in life to serve you and tend to your needs? Could it be that you're suffering from a case of Playboy-Magazine-every-woman-is-my-sex-slave arrested-development?

As an American woman (and, I think, ALL women in general) we want to be respected, loved, valued for our opinions, encouraged and desired. Is that really so different than what you want? And no, Robert, I'm NOT gay. I'm married to an Irishman -- who by the way, is quite outspoken, as am I. Yes, we have our disagreements, but I am HAPPY that I have the freedom to speak my mind, without a heavy hand coming down on my head (or body). Please don't be so quick to judge, based on your own horrible experiences. I fully expect a vitriolic (look it up -- it's in the dictionary), demeaning put-me-in-my-place response from you.

Now, to my second rebuttal in response to this post by Alan | June 19, 2006 8:31 PM:

"Not so long ago I went into the centre of Grung Thep with the skytrain, and spent some time in Siam Paragon. What a beauty show! so many lovely Thai women, so many pretty smiles.
O.K. not everybody qualifies for Miss Thailand, but I have never seen such a high proportion of fabulous ladies anywhere else.
I think that even if a Thai girl is just average she already looks great. Lovely hair, beautiful skin, dressed prettily, and those fabulous cats-eyes. Just go to any shopping mall, eye-candy everywhere.

Whitsun weekend I had to return to Brighton for three days on family business, not a place which particularly turns me on. The town centre was full of weekend tourists. God! it was awefull, what is it with the chicks over there? They seem to have developed a dress culture of deliberately looking like shit. There may have been a few good average girls, and some who would have benefitted from some decent styling. But too many of them seem to go out of there way to underline their imperfections by all means possible, scruffy clothes, wicked hairstyles, no make-up, paunchy naked waistliines... any guy who likes this, well...
all yours baby....you can have `em all, and the attitude that goes with it. As for me, Iï¿½ï¿½ll take my chances with the Thai women thank you very much, whatever the "culture shock " may bring.
I couldn`t live in England again I couldn`t stand this visual horror trip, maybe Rainer Krack should write a new book on ï¿½ï¿½ï¿½Culture Shock England" for ex-pats who have missed all the latest trends and attitude developements. (and please, don`t anybody try to give me that corny stuff about the Thai girls being all superficial, and the English girls the real in-depth thing......)"

My response is:

Hmmm, "visual horror trip"? While I understand the desire for something simpler, your comments, "that even if a Thai girl is just average she already looks great. Lovely hair, beautiful skin, dressed prettily, and those fabulous cats-eyes. Just go to any shopping mall, eye-candy everywhere."

I wonder, what do YOU look like? Are you dressed "to the nines"? Are you well-groomed and smelling nicely? Errrr, probably not. You may be going there as an English (or any Western) tourist, with your scummy flip-flops, dirty feet, smelling of sweat and last night's drinking binge and God knows what else; looking for redemption in some sweet-smelling, dewey-skinned young thang, who hangs on to your every word. My take on this is that you can be a total slob, but expect the woman you're with to be absolutely pristine -- to feed your rock-star-wanna-be fantasy. How pathetic! But hey! Guess what?! There will always be a market for men like you -- those women out there who know how to exploit that very real (weak) part of you! Party on, dude! If you get taken, it's no one else's fault but your own.

A shout-out to those (men and women) who actually gave well-thought responses: Kudos! You presented the good -- and the bad -- you ought to be commended.

October 28, 2006 8:41 AM

Jack Wow says:

"I'm married to an Irishman -- who by the way, is quite outspoken, as am I."

I doubt the poor guy can get even a word in.

October 28, 2006 5:16 PM

padthai/uk says:

Sure, the asshole always gets the bitchy, slutty, stupid, but none-the-less hot, thai-gal. And that's all the "nice guy" wants too. Argggggh! I hate(Brit)men, fuck up,

"nabehcheebye"

November 6, 2006 2:35 AM

Corinne says:

"I'm married to an Irishman -- who by the way, is quite outspoken, as am I."

I doubt the poor guy can get even a word in.

Posted by Jack Wow | October 28, 2006 5:16 PM

Jack -- You're a smart-ass. Witty, but a smart-ass nonetheless.

November 13, 2006 3:38 AM

Silvester says:

Ok. I've readed all your beieves on thailand an the girls/women who live their. (and I mean all sendings, wich are way too long btw (^^)

I myself live in europe and I'm currently still studying. But since a long time I've felt that I wanted to leave my country and see more of the world. Well, my whole family likes to travel, so its no wonder. I've been to a lot of countries, and multiple in Asia. And this summer i"ve been to Thailand. And it was a very very great experience. I've been there around 3 weeks and visited places like bankok, hua hin and pattaya. And it was incredible that every city is different. And what I found wonderful is that everyone seemed to not give a bad impression. (I myself can look truly scary when i'm only in thought, and a lot of people think then that im angry) But by all the nice people I saw, i became happy myself,ofcours I saw other things as well wich arent all that great. Like the lotsof women who sell their bodies. And that made me realise how unfair this world truly is. I've talked to a lot op people therewith women in the bars, people in farms, and very intelligent people who have a high graduation. And all where generally very nice, as a matter of fact, I cant remember anyone who was rude to me.
And so it hurted more to see a lot of nice people there, waiting in a bar, to just hope to get a man that night and get some Money. I myself were 1 week in pattaya, and ofcours i've been to see those bars that a lot of people tell aobut myself. And it was something I wont forget in a long time. Since I told them in the beginning that I wasn't looking for sex, they didnt mind. They just talked with me, and told me stuff about themselves and I about me. And i came to understand very quickly that a lot of women who were working in the red light districts were actually very nice, and that it was the only option for them, since they couldnt get enough money with working in a farm. I am not saying that what they do is good, But remember all of you that they do such work only becaus men from the WEST come there themselves to get laid. I've seen more then once a man at around the age of 70 walking away with a girl at around 20. (around my age) And then I think. for gods sake, that could have been my grandpa in age.
For your own information, I can fully understand that men come to thailand to get laid, I saw such beautiful and nice women that the idea went more then once in my head. But I got my own believes. And I didnt went to bed with any.

well, I just want to say all of you. Thai women are truly truly nice. And they are only humans too you know. They are fragile, and lots of them have been extremely hurt becaus of people from the west, and now some dare to say they are only sextools. I find those kind of people lowest from the lowest. Ofcours, every country has nice and bad people, and so has thailand. And if people go look in bars for a future wife, then for christsake, use your brains.
thaipeole are generally much friendlier then other races, and its only common sense that u shall be friendly to them. and dont use them like trash, since you dont want to be treated that way too.

For all those men I saw wich taked a girl home who were about 25 years younger them himself. I can only say one thing
FUCK YOU

those who can understand a women's heart, and understand that such need to be treated just the same as you would wish to be treated. I can only say good luck. Thailand is a huge country, so dont be a fool and dont look in clubs and bars. And try to find a woman who takes you as you are, (and not someone with a too huge of age difference) and then I think all shall be well.
since they are people. and people all wants love, respect and care.

November 27, 2006 1:43 AM

Toni says:

Kev, I understand your Australian so English is not your first language, and maybe you just lug meat for a living but for christs sake, get you Thai lawyer girlfriend to teach you some English and while she is at it, why not get her to explain how easy it is for an educated Thai businesswoman to enter Australia.

Silvester, what nice things to say, of course it is all the fault of all us evil western people. I don't doubt you have been to many countries, but remember a just 20 years ago all those countries were one place - Yugoslavia! or if you are not from the balkans I guess you might be from Romania and I look forward to having my wallet stolen from you on the London underground when you join the European Union next year.

November 30, 2006 2:59 AM

pamela says:

On my own now,husband of almost sixty years has a child with a Thai woman twenty years younger than him.His life now consists of visiting your beautiful country twice yearly.I have never been there but find myself constantly looking at websites to find out what makes your young ladies want to destroy lives.She was in my country when it happened.Maybe one day I will get to see for myself.Better not say where I live ,your site is well read.

December 1, 2006 6:55 AM

buriramboy says:

pamela, it is not the thai girls that destroy lives, it is you western women with your fucked up attitudes, if you western women knew how to keep a man happy then he would have no reason to stray. while you western women continue to let your appearance go to shit, put on weight like there is no tomorrow and have mouths like dogs, it is no wonder that many men leave there money grabbing western bitches in search of a real feminine woman. you bitches wanted equality so much, you all took it to far, now no man in his right mind would marry a western bitch. and the stupid assholes that do, just look at how miserable they are.
BB

December 1, 2006 2:31 PM

Common Sense says:

In pamela's defense here I can imagine her appearance slipping was a matter of age. Having been married for nearly 60 years on top of being oh around 18ish when she did get married would put her into her 70's easily. I can't think of any women in any country that can battle of aging for that long. She did manage to keep him around for nearly 60 years though so she must have did something right.

Just a hunch here but to keep him around a little longer you should have bought some astroglide and viagra and let him knock the dust off that old cooter of yours every now and again. I guarantee his Thai sweetheart will until his heart explodes mid stroke and she gets the inheritance.

Uhhhh I just commented about old people fuckin. There goes my sex drive for the night.

December 1, 2006 6:17 PM

KoolKing says:

Pamela, look at the bright side, you were married for nearly 60 years so that would make your husband about 80, no? So, he's still the stud and you had him for 60 years, his Thai girlfriend will only get him for a few more.

I had a Thai wife (non bargirl) for 23 years. It took me that long to realize that it wasn't going to work. I never had any problems meeting western women before and after I was married. The trick with Western women (and I think a lot of guys don't quite "get it" is that you'll never get them if you are always trying to please them, they are testing you to see if you have any balls and, if you don't, there's no end to how much of your pleasing they are willing to take but they won't ever really love you.

I much prefer American women (little experience with say Canadians or Europeans). The differences in the cultures are significant. How many Thais know the Heimlich maneuver? Ask around and find out. How many Thais know how to swim? I could go on. Find out how Thai mothers treat their daughters versus their sons, you might not like it, especially if you have/want duaghters.

I took my girlfriend to Thailand last year. She's a well-educated women and also bisexual. She loved it but I had to laugh when the first hooker we took back to our room eventually left. My girlfriend was taken with all this hooker's charm, which just proves that you gots to be careful. At least she didn't call my girlfriend "Hansum"!!! I wish she had though as it would have added much to my amusement.

I realize many Thai-Foreign couples have made a good life for themselves and I applaud them, it's difficult.

December 2, 2006 5:23 AM

philH says:

Pamela, something don't add up here. Married for 60 years, say you were both 16 when you got hitched. That makes you both 76 now thus his "girlfriend" is around 56yo. A bit on the old side for childbirth don't you think? Or do you mean 20 years old? That would fit in with Common Sense's heart explosion theory.

Anyway, whatever, don't blame Thai girls or Thailand for the bust up of your marriage. The girls just provide a service where there's a demand.

December 2, 2006 6:58 AM

pamela says:

Hi again,my apologies for the confusion, my ex husband is almost sixty now ,as am i
and we were married for forty years .Its still a long time and in all that time I never saw him look at another woman. The first reply was a bit rough especially as I dont look bad at all.In fact people always thought he was my dad .I did spend too much time looking after family and he wanted fun.My mistake...His life is not so funny any more ,the kids were not impressed.He says its over and he just goes there to visit the child ,but that is too hard to take and I dont want to play that game anymore.Thanks for the nice comments but I do have a few years left and hope to find a nice Italian.Those guys know how to treat women.

December 3, 2006 5:38 AM

Sm1lodon says:

I married a white woman. Never again.

I, too would love to find an extremely pretty young lady who actually liked ME.

I gain hope as I read this. I am quite young- and good-looking for my age, and pretty, American, teenage girls still try to flirt with me, if that is any indication. And I am dirt poor, unemployed, and drive a cheap 10 year old compact car. It CAN'T be the money.

As interesting as it is to have nice young ladies flirt at me, the concern I have is that they are American. No accent. No "exotic." No "foreign."

Among the many things I want in a wife is a limitless sex toy, an intelligent conversation holder, and lifelong ally in all situations, one who will make my interests her interests, and help me have fun doing them. And, be Asian, pretty, younger than me, and have an accent. AND piss off all the uptight people around because she is so HOT, and with me. (last part is just a bonus)

I see that going to Thailand and hanging around the usual "sex for pay" areas is a dead end. Just makes me wonder where one might find a sincere, good girl who doesn't automatically assume you are a whoremonger because you are A)Farangutan, and B) There.

Fascinating reading. All of this. Really.

February 2, 2007 7:52 PM

WalkingWallet says:

I've had several Thai girlfriends including one who just stood me up at the visa interview. I've learned the hard way, do not ignore the little signs that things will not work out. Right after I proposed, she told her girlfriend that after I left her she could go to the bar and find another sucker. There's millions of them and sure you'll find someone who is delighted to meet you and find a new life somewhere. Don't waste any time on the bad women, they only get worse and worse the longer you stick around. The Thai lady who stood me up at the visa interview actually believes she's doing me a favor by coming to the U.S.A. This lady was so bad, there were so many signs that she was a big loser, yet I stuck around to see the full display. It's much better to have the attitude to not put up or settle for anything less than a completely lovely person who makes your life more enjoyable.

April 7, 2007 9:35 PM

padthai says:

I think problem with the guys complaining about greedy Thai women are that they attract the wrong kind of women from the wrong places... u old birds should know what i mean.

April 7, 2007 11:37 PM

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