Why do nice guys marry Thai prostitutes?

peggy says:

Would there be any bright sides of a farang guy marry a tha bar gals? I'm a Thai teaching Thai to a western guy who has just married a girl from a bar in Soi Nana. I'm wishing him good luck.

JR says:

You obviously are not a Thai girl, and by that i mean NON PROSTITUTE Thai girl. If you havent noticed yet , to be a prostitute is a huge demotion in your status. For you to call wifes and gf's mostly ex hookers is insulting. Perhaps thats true with you farangs who marry hookers. Since they also are only after money.

Thai guys and girls have relationships primarily out of love and affection or the guise of it. A Thai guy in his right mind would never marry an exhooker or even tout one has a gf.

Thai guys "unfaithfulness", is more because they "love" other girls not becuase they suddenly hate the girl they are with. Thai guys player cards contain relationships that are due to feelings of love and not purely sexual. That is why a farang can never be a player when it comes to respectable non-prostituteThai women the MAJORITY of Thai women. to repeat a phrase "out of your league".

Greg says:

The majority of non bar girl Thai girls may indeed be out of the league of the average Falang, but I'd bet money that the average Falang finds it way easier to find sex or marriage partners with non-bar girl Thai girls than does the average Thai guy. There is a very large minority of Thai girls that prefer to date from the much smaller minority group of Falangs in this country, so getting laid here and finding loving relationships is extremely easy.

TANAI KWAI says:

Greg, I knew you'd have something to say to this guy.

"Thai guys player cards contain relationships that are due to feelings of love and not purely sexual."

We farangs are surely subhuman by comparison as we grunt to climax, knowing nothing of this notion of "love" of which he speaks.

"That is why a farang can never be a player when it comes to respectable non-prostituteThai women the MAJORITY of Thai women. to repeat a phrase 'out of your league.'"

I thought I was a smug bastard. God almighty, what a fantasy. Seems terribly important to him that this be true. Fact is, you can't swing a cat without hitting a Thai girl in an office building or boutique with a lively interest in dating a farang. Indeed, women at the VERY highest levels of Thai society have been known to honor farang men with their hand in marriage. Dumbass.

(winky)

JR says:

I laughed :)... tell the high society girl you frequent bar girls? poof

Marriage to some is seen as a final goal, often marriage happens without love. Her heart is the true prize.

Getting laid by a bargirl and a "relationship" with her is like me saying I went to USA and the escorts all fell in love with me and said i should call her back somtime. As long as i had money....why the hell not.

A prostitute Thai is a prostitute, many people come here and start roleplaying PRETTY WOMAN or something and think they can buy the perfect wife. Who will after the first romp turn into a nice demure girl next door that fate delivered to them. Thai society divides whores from the ladies, perhaps yours doesnt? >slips in the latest COLLEGE GIRLS SPRING BREAK<

after all this, I will say I dont disrespect FARANG society, its the people who come to our country to do this shit that bothers me. How many of your Grandmothers know what you are doing? Do you give a shit? And yes the farang girls on Spring Break are still hoes, my wife has said so herself :)

TOM says:

Why are prostitutes looked down on, but the men who buy their services not?

From a look around this site, I would guess that 90%+ of it's regulars have hired a girl from a bar more than once. Yet you all hold your hands up in horror at the thought of marrying one!

Hypocrites!

TANAI KWAI says:

JR,

"I laughed :)... tell the high society girl you frequent bar girls? poof"

Many farang men who date "high society" thai women do not frequent prostitutes; many Thai men who date "high society" thai women do frequent prostitutes. To deny this bespeaks your lack of knowledge about either society.

"Marriage to some is seen as a final goal, often marriage happens without love. Her heart is the true prize."

Yes, I know your world would collapse if a Thai woman ever loved a farang man. I will say only that you would be extremely disrespectful (and probably thrown in jail) if you said such a thing about at least one marriage I can think of between a Thai woman and a farang man.

"Getting laid by a bargirl and a 'relationship' with her is like me saying I went to USA and the escorts all fell in love with me and said i should call her back somtime. As long as i had money....why the hell not."

You're the type of guy that thinks any Thai woman who would sleep with a farang is a prostitute. You divide people into "low" and "high" society to suit your agenda. You make sweeping statements based on what you know, having no interest in facts that conflict with your view of the world.

Your obsession is to humiliate farang men who believe they are being loved by Thai women who are merely using them. I've got news for you: Thai women lie to Thai men every day, telling them they are handsome and loveable -- just to get their hands on their money. Why don't you save a little of your bile for those situations?

"A prostitute Thai is a prostitute, many people come here and start roleplaying PRETTY WOMAN or something and think they can buy the perfect wife. Who will after the first romp turn into a nice demure girl next door that fate delivered to them."

Men can be fools. But not all women who have accepted money for sex at some point in their lives are incapable of love. Thanks for all of your heartfelt concern for farang men but you repeat yourself in every post.

"Thai society divides whores from the ladies, perhaps yours doesnt? >slips in the latest COLLEGE GIRLS SPRING BREAK<"

You love to pass judgment on people and make them less-than-human. You should consider what underlies this vindictiveness.

"after all this, I will say I dont disrespect FARANG society, its the people who come to our country to do this shit that bothers me."

In other words, you hate farang men who come to Thailand and have sex with bargirls, or with any Thai women for that matter. Now I see your point. In the future, why don't you just say that instead of posting your wise musings on love and marriage? Just say, "I am consumed with hatred for farang men for reasons that stem from my own feelings of inadequacy. I am frustrated because my symbolic marriage to a farang woman has not assuaged my neuroses because she is gigantic and towers over me." That is really all you need to post.

"How many of your Grandmothers know what you are doing? Do you give a shit? And yes the farang girls on Spring Break are still hoes, my wife has said so herself :)"

You have a whole series of issues you assume we all share, such as answering to your grandmother. Pull on your ears until you hear a pop: not everyone thinks like you do. Not everyone cares what you or your poor wife think about farang girls on Spring Break (I can scarcely think of a topic of less interest here). And not everyone has a perverse interest in meticulously separating people into different groups and classes as you do. We don't all come from a pathologically hierarchical mindset. We have other interests.

(...)

bob says:

I have seen many successful relationships between thai women and farang men in the west.
I have only seen two cases where the woman didn't care about the man and then he was a complete idiot. And I mean a complete idiot, not ordinary stupid, not besmitten, not blinded by love, not ignorant of culture or naive. I mean a complete idiot.
In the first case the woman was drunk all the time, the worst possible slut. Whe the man brought her home she was still drunk all the time.
In the second case the guy just picked out a girl fifteen years younger because of her looks and brought her home hardly talking to her at all.
Of course many bargirls lie to their customers/boyfriends. They pay to be lied to.
Lies soon become obvious if you pay just a little attention.
Farang men marry thai women becuse when men and women spend time together some of them fall in love.
Unfortunatley rarely with each other at the same time.

Prorogue on Bob. says:

Bob,

Your premise suggests that perhaps Kate Moss has dated ticket inspectors, Gwyneth Paltrow a Double Glazing salesman and Arundhati Roy is considering a Bangladashi Restaraunt owner in Lambeth.

Fair play to Liz Taylor for marrying the truck driver. His youth and virility might have been worth 'purchasing'.

Love is all you need.

Greg says:

Brains are useful because we recognize and organize patterns. Brains are stupid for the same reason.

I find that a measure of intelligence is the measure of nuance a person can visualize. This is why I hate conservatives - they love to box complex situations into simple and easy to understand rules. The process of seeing a pattern often obliterates the useful information.

Yes, women tend to see the nest building capability and social clout of a man as a huge part of the package, and give these heavy weight when considering marriage. And many women, will at times, have sex for many other reasons than marriage. Many love for many other reasons. Poets and paupers get laid and also marry. It's good to know the rules of the game, and not expect to be the exception to the rule, but a guy can play to his strenghts. Charm, thoughtfulness, humor, sexual attentiveness and prowess, keeping fit, being a genuine character and not a flop toy, all add weight to the measure of a man.

I agree with Prorogue that deep cynicism is called for in regards to what a woman falls in love with.

And Bob is also on the money. People who spend a lot of time together and have frequent sex tend to develop pair bonds. "Unfortunatley rarely with each other at the same time. " also qualifies that rule.

There was a study done on self reported satisfaction of about 850 non-monagous long term partner groups versus 850 monogamous couples. Relationship duration and satisfaction were basically the same. Who would have guessed that based on common sense? The flexibility allowed within the rules of the game are thick with possibility.

Greg says:

The nuanced and flexible multiple rules of the game are thick with possibility.

TANAI KWAI says:

Greg,

"There was a study done on self reported satisfaction of about 850 non-monagous long term partner groups versus 850 monogamous couples."

Please post a reference if you should have one handy.

Thanks,
TK

Greg says:

At the www.newscientist.com website you can sign up for a free one week trial to search their archives. A search using the keyword monogamy brings up 34 results. I can't post a link to the relevant articles as you have to create an account login to access them.

Some excerpts from these articles:

- as many as 15 per cent of children are fathered by a male who is not their registered father?
- Robin Baker and Mark Bellis, then both at the University of Manchester, calculated that between 10 and 13 per cent of all conceptions in Britain arise from matings with non-pair males
- The statement that Christianity "enshrines the idea that humans are a monogamous species" is historically erroneous. Ninety-eight per cent of the Old Testament, and some of the New, tells of infidelities, polygamies and other sexual meanderings.
- Although most species seem to have a common type of sexual behaviour, this can change in response to food conditions. Sexual exclusiveness is stronger not so much in poor societies as in those with advanced economic and political systems. My belief is that human cultures change behaviour in ways that "fool" our bodies into thinking we are hungry when we are not, thus creating the impersonal, disciplined, hard-working individuals who make civilisation possible. In effect, a physiological mechanism designed to adjust behaviour to environment has been hijacked for a totally different purpose. For more details see http://www.hungryape.com.
- 850 out of 1170 (72 per cent) randomly sampled historical and traditional societies permit and practise polygynous marriage.
- Where we find the highest levels of polygyny are at the middle levels of societal complexity: the pastoralists, horticulturalists, farmers and in some of the early states.
- Long-term monogamy is not typical of humans at all. Roughly only 1 in 15 human cultures can be said to be monogamous.
- "we have evolved for conditions of mild female promiscuity or multiple mating. Sex with a regular male partner, it seems, is not a sound genetic investment for the female of the species: infidelity ensures a wider gene pool and better sperm quality. And this is widely reflected across the animal kingdom . . . Female chimps mate one to four times an hour with 13 or more different partners during their 12 days of maximal fertility" (British Medical Journal, vol 313, p 307). Considering that chimps and humans descend from a common ancestor, it is hardly surprising that the historically very recent promotion of monogamy fails in its attempts to undo millions of years of sound genetic programming.
- ...could be explained if polygamy was once the rule rather than the exception, before the advent of agriculture led to a switch to monogamy around 10,000 years ago
- the 'largest and most comprehensive survey of sexual attitudes and lifestyles ever conducted' was published this week...Much of the data appears to show that men and women are becoming increasingly similar in their sexual behaviour... But while only 4.5 per cent of married men had more than one sexual partner - and thus must have been unfaithful to their spouse - over a one year period, 15.3 per cent of cohabiting men had more than one partner...And what about the really strange data in the survey? Why is it that 70 per cent of women who had more than four partners in the past year also smoked, while 60 per cent of those who had had no partners were nonsmokers?

I can't find the reference to the study I mentioned on the newscientist site. When I started to more seriously explore non-monogamy I did a lot of research on the net. It turns out that this lifestyle is quite widespread and about as successful to the participants as monogamy. Jealousy is a big factor that must consciously be worked with, but there are also benefits that participants often find outweigh the downsides. It doesn't work well for everyone. Non-monogamy is not sex addiction any more than homosexuality is a pathology. It is neither damaging to the social fabric - it is rather a different social fabric.

Greg says:

I remember now where I heard of that study. It was an NPR radio broadcast of the show This American Life with Ira Glass. Ira did a show dedicated to non-monogamous relationships. You can hear it in the archives at www.thisamericanlife.org

Anonymous says:

how come i always see farangs go out or date with the ugliest bitch u can ever find here in thailand.Thanks to those stupid asshole farangs who are now taking the trash out of thailand and also pay for the trash eventhough it is worthless.hahaha so don't fucken think that u can fuck any girl here.Because non of the good descent girl will never go out with u accept for those hookers who don't love you accept your money.Give them more money u dumb farangs.I'll tell you what why the fuck all you farangs come to get bitch here,because all you can't fuck your own kind and most of the farangs here are a fucken loser.

Grimreaper says:

Oh, Anonymous. Such vile hatred and contempt you espouse. You obviously have been hurt by a farang or you have such low self-esteem and emotional insecurity.

Come to me, come to me,
For whom the bell tolls? It tolls for thee

Grimreaper

Mike says:

Very constructive, Anonymous. We all respect you now. Well, I am not going out with bargirls anymore, but still like this forum.

Frank says:

I fucked plenty of hi-so girls. They are just as horny as the whores but have to fuck farang in secret. They also know what loser whore fuckers Thai men are and awful they are in bed so they fuck us for fun before they have to kiss off their sex life when marrying a Thai.

Dana says:

Dear Anonymous--Boy oh Boy there's no fooling you. Why you are practically a social scientist or something. I have to say that I agree with everything you said about farangs. I'll be in Thailand in September. Where's your sister?

Mr Kiss Kiss Bang Bang says:

80% of the thai bar girls I have met, approached prostitution as a sideline in order to suppliment poor income. i don't think that prositution is veiwed in the same way as in the west.

Ronin says:

What Frank said 3 posts above is sad but oh-so-true. Many of the "hi-so" chicks I've been with have also agreed that most Thai men ARE awful in bed. I get the same feeling from talking to my Thai male friends about sex. They're as bad as the Japanese girls who act like sex is supposed to be the same as what they see in their lame porno videos. Amazing how naturally skilled and sensual so many Thai girls can be in comparison! Gotta love 'em...

Stone Cold says:

"From a look around this site, I would guess that 90%+ of it's regulars have hired a girl from a bar more than once. Yet you all hold your hands up in horror at the thought of marrying one! "
Posted by TOM | June 3, 2004 05:54 PM

Right on Tom. They harp on and on about how awful it is for any of them to marry a girl who once worked in a bag or Go_Go but never consider for a moment that any Thai woman should never marry a whoremonger. God what kind of a husband would these sex tourists and rakes make for any Thai woman regardless of her background? Here they are in Thailand balling every prostitue who will have them while preaching what awful girls these are and why none of them should marry one. Who are these people, where do they come from, and do they actually consider themselves as good prospects as husbands?

mr peter says:

I don't think anyone is claiming that BG's are 'awful girls' just that marriage is far less likely to work out with one than with a girl who has not worked in a bar. As for the BG's customers being bad marriage material I don't think you can compare the ex pat with the tourist. A tourist shags a few girls a year on holiday, whilst an ex pat on the shag can end up getting his head messed up by the nightlife just as much as any BG due to over indulgence (see nigel contemplates his future). But even then few ex pats have the money or inclination to be doing it every night which is the case with most sex workers. It seems doing it for a living has more of negative effect in the end than doing it as a customer. It would be nice to hear a few bar girls opinions, if someone is in an internet cafe can you ask one?---peter

Anon says:

You miss the obvious. Some bar girls are good people, even if they work in Nana.

Chuck Harvey says:

What is your take on really nice Thai women (seemingly, anyway) who come to United States and work in family's Thai restaurant? Very respectable restaurant, I might add, and these Thai sisters (3 of them) certainly do not appear to be hookers, or act like hookers. Just curious. I am falling in love with one of them and she doesn't seem to fit the profile of a Thai hooker in a hurry to land a naive farang husband.

DM says:

Not all hookers are low lifes and not all low lifes are hookers. Why do nice guys go to Thai girls... well they're pretty, some extrodinarly so, in a western world that values a petite figure and a tight pussy.
Hookers or high society girls.. who cares, give me a nice girl, and fuck the consequences.... live a little.

MBS says:

I visited Thailand recently for the first time this year with my wife and another couple. After 11 years together my wife allowed me little leeway to play around. It was actually her idea, believe it or not. She realized that after 11 years of faithful marriage, I wasn't going to go off and leave her for a younger woman. She also realized that sometimes, sex is just sex. As long as I was "safe" she was okay with it. Which brings me to my point about marrying a prostitute. Here, in our Puritan-influenced Western culture we are taught that sex is something to be ashamed of. People who have sex for money are therefore shameful people. The Puritans were a bunch of fucked-up closet cases who needed the science of psychotherapy to be invented about 300 years earlier. A prostitute is a person who is willing to sell something many are willing to give away for free. There are far more devious ways of making money that are much more harmful to society as a whole. I, for one, would have a much more difficult time marrying a former politician than a former prostitute. At least the latter admits to "fucking" people over. If you have the ability to assess the character of another human being it doesn't matter what they have or haven't done for money. Marry whomever the fuck you want; your marriage is likely to end in divorce regardless of what either of you did in the past. Marriage is hard work but well worth the effort under any circumstances.

hentaigaijin says:

don't marry a person who would do anything for money - many whores fall into this category.

CP says:

In response to the comments by 'MBS' on this website to the effect that "a prostitute is a person who is willing to sell something many are willing to give away for free" and that "...there are far more devious ways of making money", I'd suggest there may be more to this bargain than meets the eye.

Here are a few perspectives. I don't think they're all likely to belong to "fucked up puritans":

"Poverty is probably the most important factor contributing to the growth of child prostitution. Children offer themselves or, in some cases, are sold for sex in return for money. In developing countries particularly, the lack of viable economic opportunities, particularly in rural areas, combined with rising expectations and the desire to acquire modern goods, contributes to the potential for exploitation"
see:
www.thaiembdc.org/socials/childprs.htm

"The appearance of choice to work as a prostitute is profoundly deceptive. 'If prostitution is a free choice, why are the women with the fewest choices the ones most often found doing it?' (MacKinnon, 1993). In Amsterdam, a woman described prostitution as 'volunteer slavery'"
See http://www.prostitutionresearch.com/

See also: http://arapaho.nsuok.edu/~dreveskr/
prolinks.html-ssi

"The physical suffering borne by these women is often unbearable without the aid of drugs. Take, for example, this story of a young prostitute:

"After having my body ravaged by several customers in a row, I just get too tired to move my limbs. At times like this, a shot of heroin is needed. This enables me to handle five or six men in a single night. I can't help but take the drug in order to keep myself in working condition.

"A United Nations study of a thousand Thai prostitutes revealed that a quarter were regular users of speed, barbiturates, and heroin. All these serve to keep the women indebted to and dependent on yet more unhealthiness."

see: www.links.net/vita/swat/course/prosthai.html

A fair economic bargain?
More devious ways to make money?
I doubt it.

Sure, most men seem to want lots of sex. But at any cost to the other human in the bargain?

CP.
(a healthy sinner)_

heihachi says:

hentaigaijin quotes from msckinnon -

"The appearance of choice to work as a prostitute is profoundly deceptive. 'If prostitution is a free choice, why are the women with the fewest choices the ones most often found doing it?' (MacKinnon, 1993). In Amsterdam, a woman described prostitution as 'volunteer slavery'"

in response to mackinnon, and i presume hentaigajin too, the reason lies behind the stigmatization of the sex trade. women with the LEAST choices can be found in prostitution precisely because they have fewer alternatives and choose to ignore stigma and continue their work in prostitution. prostitution itself did not create their lower life chances. broader social stratification and economic unequalities between women and men in society did.

such stigmatizatiion is partly thanks to both men AND women who view sex as something that is fundamentally dirty and wrong and only to be reluctantly performed for the reproduction of our species.

mackinnon's work is ultimately a Christianizing, moralizing and prejudicial approach that reveals her own conservatist and repressive agenda rather than any broader understanding of the varying practices and interpretations of sexuality in society and history.

the worst, most simplistic and ignorant assumption by mackinnon (and others like her) is that ALL kinds of prostitution is the same. it is as stupid as saying that all religions or cultures are the same. in other words, there are many different kinds of prostitution. so it is NOT prostitution ITSELF but rather the conditions and context in which prostitution is practiced. the issue at hand is to really work towards de-stigmatizing voluntary sex work and provide rights and protection for sex workers themselves, and to provide more legislation to prevent exploitative or forced prostitution. ONLY then, will you stop hearing of people claiming that they are a part of 'voluntary slavery'.

bill says:

Hmm,
White knight syndrome or whatever the reason it seems that if a guy is decent and treats the girl well than she did ok. As for the states there are plenty of hookers and of the lowest, scummiest, variety. In the states they can live without working and uncle sugar will take care of them (welfare). Most are on welfare and could have free schooling and college but they would rather stay on welfare and hook for coke, crack or heroin. Are they forced into it by poverty? Nope, strictly by drug addiction or just cause that is there chosen lifestyle. If you don't believe that there are hookers everywhere in the states "hold up a twenty in a trailer park". I have been offered five dollar blow jobs by white and black girls outside of most military bases I have been stationed at. I always decline as I would not put my johnson anywhere near these disease riddled crack whores. You want to be an activist? You want to save the poor hookers? Start right there in the states. Just go to any highway rest area after midnight or outside any military base between 2200 and 0500. Thing is be ready to accept they may not want to be saved.

As for TBG's I figure most of em work in the bars cause they really need the money. I have been to meet the family of a few and they aren't living high on the hog, thats for sure. Even more than needing the money I think they figure they got a shot at meeting a guy who will actually take care of them and treat em decent. I have even seen TBG's turn down a bloke who was a jackass. He had money but was a jerk and they told him no. Maybe, thats the difference between a states crack whore and a TBG the TBG will say no if the guy is a complete ass. No matter how much money he has. Anyway, good luck to all you guys out there and treat em good hookers or not cause they are people too.

Telemachus says:

"...and treat em good hookers or not cause they are people too."

Well said Bill

Toni says:

The truth is that nice guys marry hookers because they think they are saving them - they have some hero complex that leads them to believe they can change them. However, most nice guys don't marry hookers a lot of desperate farang guys marry hookers and convince themselves that the girl is only doing this because she is so poor. Thailand has over the last 30 years or so at various times been one of the fastest growing economies in the world - ok now China has stolen most of its thunder but the truth is there were lots of jobs for most, (not all) of the young girls, they just didn't want to do the backbreaking work for the pittance that makes Thailand a cheap place to visit or export from. If you think anything different then you are already fooling yourself.

roser says:

i dono why all foreigners are interested in thailand only..i think many beautiful countries accept thailand go to phillipines (angeles city) indonesia (bali) why only thailand..today thailand changed..taxi driver always try to cheat/ sex worker try to cheat..i have visited many times thailand but i found nothing there..if u wanna enjoy sex then leave thailand and find other places otherwise u will be cheated by girls/taxi drivers..before thai peoples believe in culture/respect of tourist/honesty..now they want be rich in one nite..so they try to cheat/fraud after dis u like then u go to thailand HAVE SAFE JOURNEY

m.marek says:

I agree 100% with david ... theres no reason to sell our own bodies ... and they also say the same reason .. i have no enough income ... in my eyes ..they like to be prostitute ... and who marry them is at least idiot .. .. sorry ! but its the only explanation

Tongue Tied Danny says:

Toni.

Could you please explain the difference between a "nice guy" and a "desperate farang guy"?

Is there any reason why a "desperate farang guy" can't be nice?

ketkonen says:

Well, why agonise over the subject. So called high achievers go to Thailand and marry whores. Great. Who cares ? Really funny, you see these spassoes in the Nana hotel trying to discuss weighty issues with their bored hookers, who are on their phone to other punters even as the mighty white dickheads declare their undying love. I think the treatment of men in the west has left them emotionally vulnerable with regard to women. Toughen up boys, have some self respect.

Prufrock says:

" . . . trying to discuss weighty issues with their bored hookers, who are on their phone to other punters even as the mighty white dickheads declare their undying love."

They give the goldfish a dolphin's brain.

These damaged doofuses invariably end up doing this after falling deeply in love with the custom-crafted dreamwench they've pasted onto their meat-puppet rental.

This is, of course, why "she's different".

Dicer says:

"Toughen up boys, have some self respect." - ketkonen

Now there is a lost concept...... In the middle east where I currently am the ideas of respect and honour are entrenched and are in fact clearly manifested in disparate emotive-kino acts like a father who'd knife the man who accosts his daughter or strangle a daughter who has dishonoured her family by divorcing her husband. Crimes of passion are the staple diet of tabloid readers in the entire Latin/Catholic and Arab/Islamic world. In Japan a government minister tops himself as he's about to be charged with corruption. Another form of living up to one's honour or diying for it, as the case may be.

Now back to the Thais. What do they do? Any honour codes? How are respect values over and above simple face and krueng jai expressed. Not much to say really. A woman in Thailand, especially one in the trade is only as good as the amount of cash she manages to 'trick' out of a husband (reads a long-term punter.)

What a chore it is for the foreign man going day to day recalibrating that everything is right for him with the cohabitation-with-the-hooker game plan...Waldos and bunch of course. One Oz guy I recently met in Dubai has a 5 year old half Thai son. I saw the wife, the usual exgogo. The geezer tells me after six and a half years she is through. Of course she has the car, property and finance in her name. Here comes time for him to yet again recalibrate his reality before ending up in the stew. Thousands of farangs do the big house somewhere in Thailand and huge work and cost and eventually the wives would tell most of them to hit the road. The point is what relationship is it when the female is all alpha? I mean she has all the money, the house and then if you play your role as a doormat you may make it. If all the money and dough is still yours and she lives on a stipend life with an ex-gogo is invariably to daily recalibrate, which requires enormous amounts of lying to self with pathetic generalisations.

As I write this two pigeons perhaps inspired by fertile African and Asian hookers in Dubai are humping on the balcony. If I were Oz geezer these pigeons could be me playing out a psychohookered fugue... anthropomorphically actualising the enourmous amount of self deception that occurs in the heads of foreigners who marry irredeemable hookers.

When he made that fine film noir Lost Highway, David Lynch described a psychogenic fugue like this: a man creates in his mind a completely new identity, new friends, new home, new everything— he forgets his past identity. It is a mental condition, and also like a musical fugue it starts off one way, takes up on another direction, and then comes back to the original - what the man was. From there he starts to unravel. Lynch used the idea of a psychogenic fugue in a very cryptic and surreal fashion. The throngs of hooker chasers in Thailand who unravel in the end can be seen as a very pedestrian form of a psychogenic fugue, men who've changed their countries and circle of friends only to go back to their previous selves with tail between their legs.

When concepts of respect and honour not mean much and reality recalibration goes haywire the predictable result is a sewer vortex dance called psychohookered fugue.

ketkonen says:

You can never buy a womans love, only her complete and utter contempt. Think about it. How would you feel about someone buying YOU ? Also, hookers do not like their clients. Don't believe me, that was told me by a..........hooker !!!! Just try talking to these girls sometime, take an interest in them and their lives and you will be surprised what you will learn.

Tongue Tied Danny says:

Ketkonen, I've spoken to many hookers and they've all told me that they love me. So that blows your bullshit arguement right out of the water.

hash9 says:

Right on Danny, my man. They also love me way out too mut. Then of course I'm the original hamsum man from way back when.

ketkonen says:

Danny, far be it from me to shatter your illusions, but they tell you they love you so that you will give them money, hopefully more money, which is what they really want. They are in a service industry. Happy punters equal bigger tips. I would tell you I loved you if I thought you would give me money, but since you have no way to pay me I won't. Ain't life simple chaps !!!

Sekka says:

simple anwser to that question. most are thinking with their dicks

Brendan says:

I met my ex g/f in a bar in Phuket. We were attending an after dinner event where we hit it off discussing our frustrations. She was better educated than me (doctorate in microbiology) and came from a good family. Her family may not have been as wealthy as mine but they sure has hell had a significantly better lifestyle, so much so that I often stayed with her parents in Hua Hin without her while she worked.

I have never paid anyone for sex. She didn't need my money, nor did it cross my mind that she needed to be saved (except for the one time when an obnoxious Norwegian thought she was a barmaid and barked at her to fetch him a beer). If anyone was saved it was me because she pointed me in the right direction when I didn't know what to do career wise.

Our relationship ended with an amicable parting when she took a once in a lifetime fellowship. Due to my work obligations I could not follow. She took nothing from me but gave me 2 of the happiest years of my life and memories that I will cherish forever.

Of her colleagues and friends, several had foreign spouses, one of which was a white woman that had married her schoolmate. I do not recall any of them marrying for money or to be a white knight. I do recall one of the guys saying he did marry his wife who was a "lowly" accountant because she was the most beautiful woman he had ever met.

The point of this longwinded story is that people are the same all over. If you hang with whores, it's because that's your comfort zone and are on the same level as them, no matter how much money you may have. If you are attracted to women that are smart, successful and self assured, then you will meet them elsewhere and you won't have to buy their love.

Anonymous says:

Sorry Brendan, but your thai girl repeatedly going to a medical clinic for treatment of multiple venereal diseases does not qualify as a "doctorate in microbiology".

AFR says:

Thanks Brendan for that smug drivel. You shagged a girl with a uni degree. Would you like a medal?

war bucks says:

to Brendan man thats a load of crap. there are plenty of guys who are married to sucessful woman and who are successful themselves but still fool around with hookers, hugh grant, eddie murphy, charlie sheen,....please.

Brendan says:

The point of my post was to give an example that supported previous comments about there indeed being decent women in Thailand. If some of you guys feel the need to make comments motivated in jealousy because the best you can score is a hooker, so be it. If you were scum back in Bristol, you will still be be scum in Pattaya.

In respect to the disrspectful comment about the ex being a patron of an STI clinic, when you contract HIV you'll be begging someone like her to enroll you in one of her clinical studies.

Note everyone is a lowlife. Deal with the reality.

Andy.... says:

TT Danny + Hash, most of the girls in Pattaya say they love me also... they also say I am "Sexy Man....so it must be true.....although my Thai wife of 13 years tells me they are lying...and I am actually getting fat and going bald....I don't believe her....bitch..

war bucks says:

Brendan we know there are decent women in thailand there are all over the world. some guys are tired of relationships. and all they want is a hooker is that really so horrible. th relationships take time and money some guys dont have it or dont want it. this is not a insult man i dont play that game. your passages are just so condesending dude

Looper says:

Good one Danny.

Ketkonen, are you telling me that I may not in fact be a hansum man as I have been repeatedly assured?

Brendan, If things have run their course you don't mind if I have a crack do you? I have scoured the sois of phuket for a post doctoral bar girl but its been thin pickings. Cheers Mate

ketkonen says:

Hey, looper, pluflock, danny, andy, blendan, whore bucks, you all velly hansum man, and the more money you give me for moma the more hansum you are. You all hansum and I see you all at same time. As long sa you give me money you hansum. You no give me money you no hansum. You have bad heart. You velly nice men give me money, not even minding me talk tp other hansum man on mobile while you buy me breakfast. You farang all fuckwit, ha ha !!!

See where this is going guys ? Ring any bells ?

broadbandbully says:

Ketkonen, no I don't! Please enlighten us in your "Not getting sarcasm" way.

ketkonen says:

Its simple. Yer get what yer pays for, and you pays for what yer gets !!!

Gor blimey guvnor, simple innit !!!!!

Seriously, I like bar girls, they can be loads of fun and really nice, but I would never marry one. Now why is that ?