How to deal with sticky Thai girls

FREEMAN says:

Is Marriage only a ´ Social Status ª in the Land of Smiles ? ?

This is a question to the numerous farangs, some of them experienced, who use to come here, mainly I think because they feel bored their fatties westerner ìexîÖ

I am a farang who used to work and live in Vietnam, romantic countryÖ One day, 5 years ago, I stayed in Bangkok, SukhumvitÖ I discovered the Soi Cow Boy, and I flashed for a stunner in the (in)famous Long Gun, dancing naked after being painted with luminescent paint. It was delicious first experience of Thai sex (in Windsor Suites Hotel).
Fortunately, I don't stayed long time in BKK, because I liked her much !.
Keeping good feelings, I came back several times, in different thai cities. I met a lot of girls, in which were included some ìtrue ladiesî, with respectable background / familiesÖ
I was introduced into some ìgood societyî families, I dated more or less some girls. But when in parents home, I had to sleep in a separate room, and fÖ the daughter in remote motels later on. I was surprised, but OK, this was (is) Thailand.
I'm pretty good man, reasonably good-hearted, handsome and I take care of my own image and face, same in Vietnam. I'm also reasonably wealthy. I have been several times confronted to a very heavy pressure to marry any of them, very quickly. I had to take flight in a hurry several times, not because I don't liked the lady (ies), but I was quite sure the rest of the family was looking me as their future ATM CardÖI am alsoÖclever.
Finally, having broken some sweethearts here and there, I cannot go back in some nice cities I liked, where I would feel ìpersona non grataî. Keeping freedom is difficult task in Thailand.
I continue to like ladies here : they are fantastic girls, especially in bed. And the best ones are within the ìgood familiesî, often Thai-ChineseÖ
But it is impossible to avoid the main problem we don't encounter in the West : how to keep them as ìmistresses onlyî (mia nois), how to avoid marry them, even under pressure ? If I marry one of them, I'm pretty certain I will meet one beautiful 3 months later, or else, do same mainstream of Thai husbands, and go 3 times per week in a body massage and choose available stunnersÖ
Am I condemned to have only sex with hookers in that country ? Have some farangs experienced mistresses and kept them easily for reasonably long time ? How to avoid dangers from ìbroken heartsî ? Your counsels are welcome.
FREEMAN

Greg says:

This is an age old problem. You are not alone. Many of us struggle with similar issues. Hardening the heart works for a while, but then the callouses get in the way. Falling deeply in love gets rid of the callouses, but then there is no skin left at all, and one is left painfully vulnerable and happily stupid.

With love, someone is either going to get hurt, or die by degrees to the relationship eventually. Let me know if you ever have first hand experience otherwise.

It's one of the only worthwhile games in town though. Rules is the rules.

Dana says:

Jeepers Creepers I quess I am just one of the lucky ones. I have never had a relationship problem of any kind in the Kingdom. I put it down to mutiple negative gifts and personality disorders. I am pathologically antisocial, unintelligent, shallow, incapable of bonding, completely uninterested in human reciprocity, sexually inept, physically unappealing, incapable of learning the local language, untouched by the stupid local customs, virulently anti-Buddhist, and rude to the point of retardation. In spite of this I have performed the miracle of having a huge ego and very high comfort level with who I am. So what is the result of this improbable personality stew? I am happy.

Gurst says:

but you're not broke, right?

Kermit says:

Modest too eh!..................

FREEMAN says:

Hi Gurst ß Kermit,
I'm neither broken, nor modest at all...
However I feel some admiration for Greg, who seems to cope easily with challenging environment. I enjoy sometimes (and feel also afraid sometimes) because I know some Thai ladies have some wrong tendencies. I have personnally met a guy dick shortened by one of these delicious things. So I really think the best way is to take a flight. What is Greg's opinion ? Even is not as wise Tanai Kwai seems to be, he is probably much more experienced about the best way to avois risks. I presume he is still in possession of the precious instrument we all have between legs. I find seeply injust the fact many Thai ladies consider their pussies as public, and our dicks as private.
Thanks again for advices...
FREEMAN

Greg says:

Hello Freeman,

You met a guy who's dick got chopped!! How is his life now? He couldn't get it re-attached?

One woman half-heartedly brandished a knife around a few times, and I nearly broke up with her for that, but it turned out that she was expressing her possessiveness the best way she know how. She used to spend the first 5 minutes of every visit to my room sniffing around for clues. Eventually she allowed me to have more than one girlfriend, but she would still sniff and huff for the 1st 5 or 10 minutes of every visit.. I'd like to chat on this forum about all the details of that relationships, but right now it seems inappropriate.

I haven't felt that dick cutage is a risk. But a woman scorned can be creative. One woman wrote all over my interior and exterior walls in indelible ink "enjoy his big cock" "you win" etc etc as messages to my other girlfriend, who was at that time lying to me telling me she didn't care if I had more than one girlfriend, so that she would have a chance at riding things out and being the number one girl. I'm too stupid to know these kinds of things without experience.

I still find Thai women inscrutable at times. You can be intensely close, seem to share everything, and still not know what is going on. I'll never forget, 4 months after the wall incident, lovingly stroking that remaining girl all night long, my heart burning with gratitude and love, only to learn the next day that I never understood her or her feelings at all. She had asked me to marry her several times, "in case it would help me legally in Thailand". It takes years to even get a toe wet into this culture. Assumptions that work back home don't work here.

She was a good woman in many ways, but she wanted long term domesticity, and I wanted a non-monogamous travel and love partner for some unspecified years. Finally the communication barriers broke down so that I could see her, she met someone she pinned hopes on, I met someone I pinned heart on, and we slowly untied the knots that had us bound.

That was a successful relationship. It began, had a middle, and had an end. Easy and good times all the way through. I'm a better man for it, and she received my best. Bitter, and sweet.

I learned a lot about the culture of hidden meaning through her. It is not something I am comfortable with. From all of my experiences so far, I can't see myself marrying a Thai.

The day I meet a group of Thai hippies, or any sign of sincere educated counter cultural thought that could possibly progress into individualistic thought is the day I will consider a re-evaluation. I haven't seen anything resembling counter culture in SE Asia. That means that the value of critical introspection has no chance, as introspection most often requires a community of peers. It is not born in isolation. At minimum a person would need to find community through books. I haven't met anyone culturally influence by books yet, nor have I even heard of anyone, 2nd or 3rd hand.

I'm not sure that Thai girls consider their pussies as public, and the man's as owned by them. I've seen some bargirls get wiggy weird stupid jealous. Whatever. I don't expect much from brains bloated by denial. I don't even want to think about that. For non-bargirls, there is a magic word. I wish I'd fully appreciated the import of this word when I was a 24 year old fresh out of the monastery married man.

No.

"Stop seeing her or I will leave you!"

No.

"Stop seeing her or I will cut off your dick!"

No.

It has been an education to see what happens after the re-adjustment to the conviction of response. "Oh, well... In that case." Then it's a new ballgame.

Just say what you really want. Be upfront. No need to be pussy whipped in this country.

FREEMAN says:

HI Greg,
On the basis of my unfortunate friend experience, I am very careful now. My friend has been lucky because his penis was cut 90% of diameter, remaining attached with some flesh, however. He was also lucky because he was not far away the excellent international Bangkok-Pattaya hospital, having a good team in micro-surgery. Surgeons said they were accustomed to that kind of things, mainly with Thai men having jealous wives.
He was repaired in a good way. However his dick has now a curious shape, and he can only fuck smoothly nowadays. I must add that the guy was married in Euroland, he divorced later on ! One can understand she don't liked it, coming back as a Thai pussy warrior.
Surgeons said him that Thai women knows well now there are available good surgeons able to repair a fully cutted dick, if immediately delivered to them in iced bag, with the poor owner Ö So now the Thai wives cut the dick and take it with them ! Some attach it to traditional balloons (same they use for Loy Kratong) and the dick takes off Ö Where it lands is generally unknown. Some prefer give the dick to ducks. It seems that Thai ducks like it. I am not joking ! ! (It is somewhat a good return, because generally the Thais eat the ducks).
So Greg, be careful and don't allow your numerous girl-friends to play around with knives or razors ! ! May be you understand why I'm not very courageous. I prefer to change, go Airport, and fly to another city. Thai girls are fantastic when they love you, but when they are jealous, take care, because you never know. My friend had sex with her just before he fell sleeping. He never supposed she will do this after sexual intercourseÖ
So I love them, but when I understand the situation is going worse, I leave to another place. Leaving, say Mae Hong Son, to live, say Hat Yai is a way to resetÖNone of previous ìbroken-heartsî found me, never. I know one has been to my Bank, asking in what city I transferred my account. Fortunately, the Bank secrecy is a rule in Thai BanksÖ
I never met a Thai lady really able to slowly untied the knots that had us boundî, as Greg say.
May be it is easier in big cities such as Bangkok ? In smaller cities, the ìfaceî and the weight of tradition is probably more importantÖ
When I lived in Saigon, I had several ladies at the same time, in different districts. The city is as wide as BKK. However, I had problems. Farangs are not so numerous, and they are traceable, even in big cities. Fortunately, dicks razored is more Thai culture than Vietnamese one !
Any comments on the topic ?
Good Luck, Greg, however. As a universal O- blood donator, I can help you in case of emergencyÖ(joking).
FREEMAN

Dana says:

Attn: Greg

I was going to use this time to take blood plasma to my dying mother but helping you is more important. "It takes years to get a toe wet in this culture."--Greg; the reason is because THERE ISN'T ANY CULTURE. Relax partner, there isn't anything to learn or to understand or to come to terms with or to become sensitive to or to get educated about or to be tolerant of. There isn't any culture. It is all childish impulse, greed, violence, criminal intent, ignorance, and racism masquerading in the airport posters and the guidebooks as 'culture'. There isn't any culture. Of course since you don't want to be friendless or stoned by the politically correct this is not something you want to say in public. But you can say it in private. Go ahead, say it: There Isn't Any Culture. Fun heh! Don't you feel better? Of course you do. My mother died for this. No need to thank me. Dr. Dana is always available.

Greg says:

Hi Freeman. I've hid all the knives before a date with one particular girl regularly. No telling what she keeps in her purse though.

Yes, Thai women can be dangerous. I'd think that getting caught at something you are denying would have different consequences than being upfront from the beginning. But I agree, it can be hard to tell.

I had to run from one woman with Borderline Personality Disorder who was calling me many times a day. In her bad mood persona she'd threaten me. In her good mood personal she'd deny that any threat ever had any meaning. Changed apartments, changed cell phone numbers. She still did her best to do me damage. I stay well clear of folks with BPD now.

I've dated some Thai women who I'm completely certain would never physically harm me. Ha - what a statement to have to put forward!

Dana: Yes, there is a culture, some parts of which you have described in your posts. It takes a while to learn that what you expect as normal behavior is not what you get.

By culture I'm not referring to:
4 a : enlightenment and excellence of taste acquired by intellectual and aesthetic training b : acquaintance with and taste in fine arts, humanities, and broad aspects of science as distinguished from vocational and technical skills

I'm referring to:
5 b : the customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group