July 26 2006

Cops piss-test Westerners at Bangkok nightclub

bangkok clubwear

Bangkok clubwear

Lively nights out in Bangkok can degenerate into farce if you're unlucky enough to be detained and piss-tested by the Thai police.

Ostensibly a dragnet for drug-users, these heavy-handed nightclub raids are rumoured to occur when the owners are reluctant to 'pay their dues' and I recently heard a first hand account of the humiliating treatment meted out to one blameless Western businessman caught up in last year's now infamous swoop on Bangkok's CM2 nightclub.

The place was buzzing when, suddenly, the lights went on. Dozens of Thai cops had already blocked off the exits and they quickly herded the customers into holding areas.

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Those willing to buy their freedom were allowed to exit though a side door but everyone else was to be piss-tested. They were handed a small cup and told to wait in line outside the toilets.

Inside, dealers were openly selling clean urine to anyone who needed it.

Producing a sample was easy but, once the tiny cup was full, the biggest challenge was to stop peeing and, pretty soon, the toilet areas were flooded.

After wading through a lake of piss, angry patrons were ordered to place their sample cups on an inspection table but many were drunk and dozens of cups were knocked over. The testers themselves were soon splattered with urine and you almost had to feel sorry for them.

After detaining over a thousand innocent people in an open sewer for several hours, the police finally called it a night.

Not a single drug-user was apprehended.

What makes the piss-test even more ridiculous is that, on its own, it can't secure a conviction. In one recent case, a Thai actress walked free because her defence team proved that various over-the-counter medications could also produce positive results.

Why the Thai police continue to use this discredited test is unclear.

The well-connected Western victims of the farcical CM2 raid must have created a bit of a stink because the cops seem to have eased-off on foreigners recently - but they continue to actively harass the staff of Bangkok's night venues.

[Posted to Nightlife by David]

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Readers' comments

Mr Thaky, from bangkokchat.org says:

piss takers all piss takers.

July 26, 2006 7:37 PM

Andy says:

Happens in Pattaya too. Especially if the establishment on Walking St. is having a comparitively bad night...

July 26, 2006 8:44 PM

Johnny says:

Break out the lube, no strip and cavity searches too ?

July 26, 2006 9:24 PM

Dboy says:

Cops are assholes. Everywhere.

Dboy

July 27, 2006 5:47 AM

Dana says:

This sort of thing is so stupid it almost beggers comment. Like a lot of things that happen in the Kingdom I am reduced to the word incompetent. Apparently without high standards in public education and western style attitudes human beings are just functional illiterates incapable of getting anything right. Welcome to Thailand.

July 27, 2006 10:17 AM

phil H says:

Nothing in Thailand surprises me any more. After the first month a kind of mental paralysis sets in and no matter what you see or hear about you just think "Yeah, so what?".

Shouldn't really blame the grunts that carry out the raids though. They are just that, low life grunts, who'd rather be back at the station watching TV. They are merely the foot soldiers carrying out their superior's wishes who are only doing their superior's bidding and on and on up the food chain.

Everything in Thailand is controlled by the upper echelons of the police, the army (to a lesser extent) and the politicos. Drugs, prostitution, gambling, knock off goods, dodgy land deals the list is virtually endless.

What these dumb fucks don't realise is that they are cutting the throat of the cash cow tourism. Or maybe they do, and this just forms part of their hidden agenda. Kill the tourist trade and that removes the livelyhood of a vast chunk of the people. Keep the people poor and downtrodden, throw them a few Baht election time and rake in the cash. Nice for the top one percent.

Paranoia rules ok?

July 27, 2006 12:56 PM

Mr Thaky, from bangkokchat.org says:

valid points.

still just piss takers.

l'd raise issue with you though on the low education standards.
what standards !!!!!!!!!
l must of shagged close to 200 Chula gals over the yrs, not one of them could tell me when asked the simple question: is Europe a continent or country, same with Africa, and so and sooooo....
and this supposidly one of the best Uni's in the country.
A nation of morons if ever there was one. And arrogant one's at that.
Still great boxes though.

Thako.

July 27, 2006 5:06 PM

intriqued says:

btw where do you meet chula girls?

July 27, 2006 5:26 PM

rooster says:

Ok, eductaion, views on life are a bit different in Thailand but are not necessarily any worse, just a different culture. I know the stick shares these views with me .

July 27, 2006 6:22 PM

Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah says:

Rooster, Fuck Stick's view! He's a Kiwi faggot who dresses up as 'Mrs Stick' and hands out advice like a Thai Dr Ruth on Yaba!

July 27, 2006 9:08 PM

Mr Thaky, from bangkokchat.org says:

Rooster obviously been playing footsie under da table with Sticky's ["she reply's in perfect Kiwi English to readers question, she can't be a whore"] wife.

ok mate, tell us one thing the ohhh so highly educated Thai people have ever invented ???????
Them crettin fuxxers even needed the Portuguese to drop the Chili into their food.
A trully totally un creative nation if ever there was one.
Great little boxes though.

Thaky

Thaky.

July 28, 2006 1:45 AM

nasty nick says:

i been tested before when police raided lucifer disco in patpong about 1 1/2 years ago at 12.30am. lines in front of toilet. my urine was positive. i filled the cup 98% with water and sprinkled a drop of pee in it. walked to table with thai cop. he dipped some paper/stick into it. stamped my hand and told me that i am clean. my visa was 3 months over, but no one asked me for passport. was scary, but harmless. 5 thai girls got caught for yaba so i hear.

July 28, 2006 2:07 AM

Hugh Jarse says:

Some minister's cousin's brother-in-law owns a litmus paper factory somewhere - or produces little plastic cups maybe!

July 28, 2006 8:47 AM

Johnny says:

What's the damage if you get caught with anything there ?

Do they set you up there ?

I had a few people approach to offer a couple of times. My girl took off shaking her head saying "Bah, No, and I leave you" when I spoke to him. Her reaction was funny. I pretended that I got something just to tease her.

I'm guessing you get more than a slap on the wrist.

Bad problems with Ice everywhere now, they had scenes from the casualty ward on a Saturday night here. Some people will just get addicted to anything that's going unfortunately for them.

July 28, 2006 1:25 PM

jb says:

drugs is an excisting problem in thailand, it's already an improvement that they start searching for users instead of taking extra measures such as early closing times wich are affecting everyone (last thing I heard was a proposal in parliament of 11.30), ok right the pisstest has to be more sophisticated but I don't see a problem with it

July 28, 2006 2:38 PM

Andy says:

I thought all the drug dealers had been shot already? The ones that weren't cops anyway?
Seems that the drugs you get over the counter here are stronger than anything on the street. Go to the clinic with a mild cold, and you come out looking like a drug mule for Pablo Escobar.

July 28, 2006 2:52 PM

Sayyed Hassan Nasrallah says:

"Great boxes", Amen to that!

July 28, 2006 5:55 PM

anne says:

the sexist pig who writes about thai women's "boxes" should have his member cut off. i'm friends with several women and men from chula who are more than likely twice as intelligent as him. also, maybe if the cops keep going to these places which are watering holes for all the masses of complete morons who come to thailand for nothing else than to get laid, i won't have to see their disgusting faces on the street anyomore or here their remarks of hatred against the thai people on sites like this. if you think so lowly of the people here, why are you here? there are plenty of eduacated interesting people in this city, but not in the tourist western holes you are all speaking about.

August 1, 2006 11:29 AM

KT says:

I was recently tested with a sponge type test while comming back from Poipet.The young cop just started rubbing this sponge on my hands and behind my ears without explanation much to the amazement of the 30+ Thais on the truck.I asked him if this was how tourists were treated in this country and his reply was the typical uncomfortable thai laughter.

August 1, 2006 2:17 PM

Anonymous says:

Thako, if you are going to criticise a person's intelligence based on geographical knowledge try starting in the UK.

Q. What is the name of the mountain range between France and Spain?

A. The Himalayas.

August 1, 2006 2:34 PM

Pattaya Pete, Tour Guide says:

Oi! Mr Anon, I'm from the UK and I'm quite intelligent I'll have you know! And everyone knows its...

THE ALPS!!!

August 3, 2006 3:52 PM

GARETH EVANS says:

THAI PEOPLE COULDNT DRIVE A NAIL INTO A PEICE OF TIMBER LET ALONE DRIVE MOTORBIKES AND CARS... I HAVE HAD SOME STICKERS MADE WITH PERMANENTLY PISSED ON AND I AM STICKING THEM ON ALL CARS AND MOTORBIKES OF THAI PEOPLE ,, ITS FUCKING FUNNY CAUSE I SEE HALF A DOZEN EVERY DAY WITH ME STICKERS ON AND I GET A GIGGLE,, ANY WAY I HAVE HAD MY MOAN FOR TODAY ,, SO UP THE BUM AND TAKE CARE

August 4, 2006 2:08 PM

Hugh Jarse says:

"Great boxes", Amen to that!

"Great boxes", I'm in to those!

August 4, 2006 3:30 PM

Aussie Steve says:

To all who talk bad about Thai's,
If their country is so bad, why are you here, I think western women have so much to learn from Thai Women.
And yes, Nice Boxes .

August 31, 2006 4:20 PM

chetre says:

I have heard that Thai police have stepped up drug testing in Pattaya. True or not? Either way what happens if someone tests positive, or is told that they do? How do you avoid, aside from staying clean and/or avoiding clubs on Walking Street, being pissed tested?

September 27, 2006 8:50 PM

Boris says:

Does anyone know if these tests are reactive to gandja?

Thanks

March 21, 2007 1:27 PM

Wombat says:

Boris

What is the problem? Can't you have a good time without that shit? Or is it that you can't tell anymore? Travel thousands of miles to get stoned & risk Thai prison. That's smart.

March 21, 2007 2:34 PM

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