Make a tit of yourself in a Thai gogo bar

Rory says:

Oh so true - and all too common

Jim says:

OK I did all that but you won't catch me pulling the bell. Not more than once anyway. You think I was born yesterday? Jim

Mike says:

How to impress a Thai girl

Being a farang and newly arrived on Bangkok I was of course not quite up to speed with the local customs, also having been at altitude for 8 hours I was pretty dehydrated and had a dry throat.
We were chatting up a couple girls in Nana when I got this itch my nose, so I rubbed it hard with the back of my hand and then sniffed - you know, like you do! I had obviously dislodged something significant because it stuck to the back of my throat like a cow pat thrown at a brick wall. The girls must have thought something was up because my eyes filled with tears - perhaps they thought it was farang lust. I stopped the chat and did a quick hack into my right hand and sneaked a quick look - magnificent ! ! A hard, flat, slightly moist bogey the size of your little finger nail. I thought I would deal with it later, but my friend decided we were off and before I knew what was happening I had shaken hands and we parted company - and I no longer had the bogey.
I'm sure they were well impressed!. (now I know why they wai ! )

Iain says:

Anyone who dances on stage should never be allowed back into Thailand. I pay over the top money for a bottle of beer to see nubile young females not some pissed up numpty with a hairy arse who thinks he is the life and soul of the party.

John says:

Agreed! A few weeks ago I walked into a Pattaya Go go bar expecting to see some nice young ladies, only to be faced with a hairy topless American swinging his t-shirt above his head. Ban them for life! We all know that the girls aren't the best dancers(Shufflers) in the world, but they're nicer to look at than some fifty something bloke.

Trent says:

Yeah walked into a go go bar and found myself starring at some drunken yankee doodle's ass far longer than i care to admit. Ban them for life. A man who cant handle his alcohol... stay at home !
Trent, Australia

Marmite says:

Why is it always Americans and guys from Bristol who think they're more attractive than the girls and can't handle their drink? Ban them all!
And while your at it ban the Japanese, showing off with all that money; and what about the French?! They should be banned just for being, err, French! What about the Ger, sorry, Chermans then? I supposr they put their beer towels down to resrve the best seats, so they can get a good look and see what the young lady has had for breakfast! As for the Bristolians! Oh, sorry. Done them already....

Fact says:

Firstly, I'm not American (thank god) and I'm not German too (thank America for helping in WWII). But really, I don't spot as many American's table dancing / Go Go dancing in Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket,etc as I usually spot Scandinavians. They're usually the loudest group anywhere and their decibels multiply disproportionately with their tequila shots.

sparks says:

Hey what's wrong with ringing that fuckin bell and running out i have been doing that in bkk for over 20 years!!!! hahaha and besides the only time real bkk falang ever go t patpong is when some out of town guest pushes you to take them!!!!! and ofcorse make them pay the bill!!!!

mr x says:

I think all of the above comments are really interesting and well thought out. I think its great that so many elderly farang gents such as yourselves can live in such a beautiful country and take such pride in the fact that you can't land a decent relationship, so instead you spend your free time hanging out in bars and being the most sophisticted customers in there - i mean those new guys that might come there one time, make a dick of themselves, then return home to lead a normal life are real losers right? Well done to all of the above.

John says:

Mr X, was it you that I saw swinging his t-shirt above his head in the previously mentioned Pattaya Gogo? There is enjoying yourself, and then there is making yourself look like a complete tit. And some middle aged, ugly American getting up on stage and swinging his t-shirt above his head is......a tit. Do you think that the other blokes in the gogo are thinking "Wow, look at him, he is the man". Don't think so, they're all thinking "What a knob jockey".

Mr X says:

John, well it's always nice to get a reply - but unfortunately i think you might have missed my point in my previous message. I was trying to emphasise the fact that while I certainly am not the guy who gets drunk and dances shirtless etc etc in go go bars, I also don't think its much better to be the guys that goes there and laughs at these guys and thinks he so much cooler because knows 'go-go etiquette'. In fact im in a whole new category of farang, which you may never thought existed, but in fact I am a farang who doesn't frequent go-go bars - yes, believe it or not, some of us don't feel the need to pay to see girls peforming sexual acts in front of a bunch of old farang gentlemen. In fact I would even go to far as to say that im here because i like the counrty and the people and im trying my hardest to fit into the culture and learn as much as I can. Maybe this concept may seem a little alien to you, but believe me, some people are doing it.

Hope this has cleared up an misunderstanding.

Tuk says:

Well put Mr. X.

Bangkok Phil says:

"yes, believe it or not, some of us don't feel the need to pay to see girls peforming sexual acts in front of a bunch of old farang gentlemen"

So that's three of us then - Me, Mr X, and Lonely Planet's Joe Cummings. Perhaps we could form a secret club and hold monthly meetings in a Lard Phrao noodle shop, far away from Sukhumwit Rd and all its temptations of the devil?
We could sit and talk about our favorite sections of a typical Thai temple. Hey...I think we could really have something here.

Steve says:

What a bunch of losers!
If any of you had any sense at all, you'd sort out the biggest exchange rate in Asia, and go and invest in an expatriat food bar, then you can employ locals at stupidly low wages, selling food to tourists at highly inflated prices, cos they think the coconut toppings and mango sides with a dash of Jackfruit, and a whole load of ice to water it down, is the elixer of life, while you sit back back, greedily fleecing all the other local females for a share of their inimatable charms. This way, you get to fuck the tourists, locals and the women, and get paid for it.
Bugger me - I must be a loser cos I haven't done it yet - cya - I'm off to do some fucking!!!

Todd says:

I only had the privledge of going to Bangkok once, didn't sleep the first night, over-slept the second night. Enjoyed the little go-go bars in Nana Plaza. But from reading sites like this I learnt a couple things from you "vets", one that was the best, waiting for the bar to close then picking up the girls as they come out, totaly avoiding the bar tab. But, I just had to say thanks for the info, it helped alot.

usvirgin says:

"But from reading sites like this I learnt a couple things from you "vets", one that was the best, waiting for the bar to close then picking up the girls as they come out, totaly avoiding the bar tab."

I think you meant 'bar fine' (avoiding the bar tab would be ill advised), but you saved ten bucks so good for you. I'll bet the girl didn't mind either, having already been barfined a couple of times earlier in the evening ;p

MR X says:

Bangkok Phil - not really sure what your point is, do go on. Steve - i am pretty sure of what your point is, although not really seeing the relavence of it. It is however much easier to see your obviousely low IQ and lack of self respect - good luck in the clinic mate. Todd - mate you did well, well done old buddy, nice moves, glad to see that another foreign tourist is happy to spend his 2 weeksn annual holiday coming to one of the most beautiful parts of the world in order to pay some up country to sick on his face without puking her guts out in digust.

USVIRGIN - i can see you know what you are talking about, if i ever want some advice on how to get the best deals on hookers, and use the correct terminology with them, i will know who to come to.

USvirgin says:

Mr. X,

Thanks for the complement, and if I ever need to find a backpacker with a chip on his shoulder, I will certainly contact you.

T.J. says:

looks like its hanbags at dawn for you girls !

gandhi says:

When in Rome etc etc - it's criminal and downright perverse to go to BKok and eschew the pleasures there.
I'm counting the days till I land - have heard nasty rumours about early closing and excess clothing on the young ladies at Nana - can anyone update me with the latest situation, must I abandon Nana for Patpong?

Gandhi

njap says:

whats the deal with the 'bar fines', do they charge you extra when you leave.
im going to bkk in 2 weeks and was interested in seeing a ping pong or darts show, is this advisable?

Don says:

'well said T.J., now that was clear and clever...

Dave Chaplin says:

Its true about the bars closing at 2am ,, but in Sukumvit soi 7 ( I think ) a bar below the hotel is open way after 4am , you only need to walk in as if you are a guest there ,, never seen a farang questioned over this.
NANA bars especially the day night bar are still complete with those EXCELLENT ladies

Paul Bristol says:

and whats wrong with Blokes from Bristol.... erm.... come to think of it there is a fair few from these parts!

MR X says:

USVIRGIN,

nice to see that you are the height of intellectual conversation as usual, and managed to reply and state your case with a whole sentence; man, you even got some of the punctuation right, well done. So just to keep my handbag to er, hand, I should mention that I am not a backpacker.

peace

Mr X-Cree-Ment says:

Are you the same "Mr X" that is such a pain in the arse on another board?
Get a life mate, and stop being such a cunt.

MR X says:

Which site would that be?

Mr X-Cree-Ment says:

Dear Mr_X ( a.k.a. backpacking, tree hugging, sandal wearing, Khao San Road dweller)
>
I agree with you - I'd much rather they perform them on me...
C'mon mate, 'fess up, you must have fucked a few of them. Or is it the katoeys that you like ??
And if you think I'm going to remind you of any other sites, so that you can go and piss off even more people, then you're sadly mistaken.

Dexlowe says:

Pity the poor newbies trying to get info about rooting themselves silly in Bangkok and then have to wade through all this shite -- Christ, all a bloke wants is a root and how to get it. Is that too much to ask? If some of you twats think that is offensive, then your're totally missing the point. Everyone wanks. Some of us grease up with baby oil and wank in front of a mirror. Some buy dildos to shove up their . . . err . . Some wank to porn videos. Some to Hustler or Penthouse (delicate whimps buy scented tissues and wank to Playboy). Some come to Bangers and get the girls to do it. Whichever way, you end up paying something. So why make Larry Flint and Bob Guccione rich. Spread your largesse in the third world, be philanthropic.

But what about those poor fucks who feel the need to dance on stage in a Bangkok go-go bar, make a tit of themselves? Well, more power to them. Bangkok is nightlife city, where people let their inhibitions lapse -- if some poor fuck who's been working the treadmill all year and had the fucking taxman, the fucking filth and his missus, kids, in-laws and who the hell knows else down his throat for not being the perfect Mr Provider wants to behave like a complete fucking jerk (in the eyes of some posters here), then I say let the bugger. He'll go home a happier man (and probably a more contented Mr Provider), and that's what Fun City is all about. It's what it's here for. You don't like, you don't come. When the girls don't like, they don't come. Man, I gotta straighten this crick in my neck out.

Dex.

Mike says:

I've read this story three times ;-) It really nearly never happened to me hahaha!

Seamus says:

Who hasn't made an ass of himself in public, at least once. Westerners in Asia, sure, but what about Asians in the West. Take a look at this video clip of Touch Sreynich, the erstwhile Cambodian superstar, performing in a Paris restaurant.

http://nvopera.free.fr/mpeg/Paris_Track11.mpg

The quality is bad but if you can bear to watch you'll be rewarded by the embarrassing sight of an overeager fan bringing the show to an abrupt end.

It's strange the ideas people get about what's appropriate. Having your picture taken with a celebrity is one thing but posing yourself on-stage during a performance is quite something else.

RICHARD BIRCHALL, EX LONDON UK NOW EX AUSTRALIA says:

GUYS, THANK THE %$#@ THAT I AM NOT ALONE IN THIS WORLD, MARRIED THREE WHITIES AND BOUGHT MORE HOUSES FOR [ NON MALES I DON'T KNOW WHAT 2 CALL THEM ANYMORE] AND NOW I HAVE MET A BEAUTIFUL 46 Y/O VIETNAM WOMAN WITH A SLIM [AS IN NON LARD-ARSE ]BROWN BODY, SHE HAS THREE 20 PLUS GROWN UP KIDS ,AND NOW I INTEND 2 PISS OFF AUSTRALIA AND LIVE WITH A "FEMININ WOMAN" IN VIETNAM, SO 2 ANY WHITIES NON MALE TYPE $%#@ U

RICHARD BIRCHALL says:

steve there is only 1 looser in here and thats u. if u dont like real women then go back to laying on your tummy, ok

mr peter says:

Seamus

Where did you find the clip, and do you know the singers name?
Actually this sort of carry on is quite common at smaller concerts and parties. Had you been lucky enough to see Jintara you would have seen lots of this, for most of the concert in fact. Never seen it at a really big concert but often in cafes also with big stars. At big concerts much better to get photos before or after.
I asked Jintara why she no go amerika, -because no get visa in time. I know she definately was intending to go as I have a tape of her announcing it on veteethai in April. Never mind I'm sure they will get it right next time. Her new CD luktung sa orn 9 is a very good-peter

Seamus says:

I came across that clip while I was researching Cambodian singers for the Monsoon-Country website. The singer is Touch Sreynich (Sunnich) who was gunned down in Phnom Penh last September. Her mother was killed in the attack and she herself remained in a coma for several months at Bumrungrad Hospital in Bangkok.

Apparently some of her songs had a political edge to them, supporting the Khmer Krom in Vietnam. Only 24 years old, she was also a professor of fine arts and it was rumoured she had ties to the Funcinpec party of Prince Norodom Sirivudh.

It's very sad really and on reflection perhaps it wasn't a good idea to post that link on such a trivial topic. Just me making an ass of myself in public... again.

As for Jintara, I'm still trying to find out when her US tour will be re-scheduled. It seems our brave men and women in Homeland Security are making doubly sure no foreign terrorists are able to enter the country posing as morlam or luktung singers.

I'll tell you what, if Dubya and Dick get re-elected I'm seriously thinking of getting the hell outta here. I don't think I can take another 4 years of this, not to mention the fact that I'm embarrassed to call my parents back home. You know how old folks are, they think everyone here supports the carry-on. We'll have to wait and see.

Mike says:

How to make your business trip to Thailand a real success

Many businessmen will once in their career have the opportunity to make a business trip to Thailand. Here's a guide of how to meet the cultural differences, in order to return home with a well done deal:

� Thai people are serious people. And so should you be: don't smile; speak in a loud and determined voice in order to make yourself understood. Thai people will award you with full respect.
� Never take your shoes off prior to entering a traditional Thai house, as you would bare your feet! Anyway, Thais love to clean (obviously), and somebody will humbly wipe the floor just behind your footsteps.
� Also realize that we foreigners have a superior role in Thailand. Don't queue, but shout and push irately instead, wherever you can. People will bow in respect.
� If the police bother you, scare them off with the simple words: �Don't you know who I am�? As they obviously cannot know, they will retreat in shame and dishonor.
� Religion is very important in Thailand. In order to show that you esteem their faith, you should, straight away, get a picture of yourself with a Buddhist image. Thais have these tourist attractions almost on every corner, so just give one of them an embrace, ideally in casual clothes (you'll look more comfortable) and just order any elderly person to take your picture.
� Speaking of the elderly, unfortunately and unlike in the western world, their status is fairly low, as they represent weakness, imbecility and worthlessness. If your taxi driver is old, don't smile; order him in a quick and decided voice to your destination. If the driver is young though, smile; show him that you don't really know where your destination is located. He will compensate your honesty with a short trip and a low fare. If you're just on a sightseeing trip, let the driver decide! He'll know better places than you; he's been living in Bangkok for many years.
� Besides, prior to coming to Thailand, you should learn to point to things and people with your foot, not your finger. This quite strange behavior has a long tradition. And the higher you can lift your foot, the better it is. Avoid falling on your butt though; it would prove that you are an untrained.
� Don't touch the heads of children, as they are considered holy. If on the other hand, you want to get your deal through, don't be shy to give a few friendly taps on the head of your Thai business partner. This will prove respect and help you a lot to get into business.
� When the deal is concluded, enjoy yourself! As you might have heard at home, indeed nearly all the Thai women are in prostitution. You know it, from TV. If you see a nice girl on the street, give her a little slap. She'll giggle, and her boyfriend will immediately consider you as part of the family, and invite you to their home in a small Soi. The Thai kindliness is renowned for a reason.

Mike W. Buttock

Rambo says:

Confusing, mate, confusing...?

s kin mee of says:

Funny as fuck!! You guys are hilarious! Ive been sat here reading the whole thread and enjoyed every minute. Wikid!!

I wai to you all - Peace - Respect

Carl B says:

Just come across this site - usually read Stickmans BKK site. Gotta say you guys are a breed unto yourselves..some great wits on this here board!! Reading this whilst watching the Denmark - Czeck R game on the good ol' BBC here in UK (now 3-0 to the Czecks if your interested and there goes my ten quid on the Danes!!). Wish I'd met one or two of you during my recent few months in BKK and Phuket...you're legends but then maybe I'm easily pleased.
One thing I learnt is the Thai attitude of two-facedness (is that a word!). Part of their culture no doubt about it and it holds absolutely fuck all shame for them. I had thought our U.S. cousins were supposed to be the most stomach churning money motivated/grabbing species on this planet but jeez these Thais are worse by a mile. Is it only my observation but the Chinese Thais are a damn sight more trustworthy than Thai-Thais..if you know what I mean?

alan says:

I have a ? i will be going to thailand for the first time in feb.I will be there for 10 day's would 5000.00 us be good to take with me after hotel most of you say it is cheap there or should i tack more with me

Madam Edith says:

US$ 5,000 * 40 Baht to the dollar /10 nights = 20,000 Baht per day.
I am sure not everybody will agree with these figures but for one day say:
OPTION 1
lunch and dinner with wine in upmarket restaurants = 3,000 Baht;
one bar girl (plus presents, help for sick buffalo, granny etc) = 4,000 Baht;
bar fines = 1,000
presents for the folks back home = 500 Baht;
odds and sods = 500 Baht and
booze = 1,000 Baht
which leaves 10,000 Baht a night to ring the bell
or
OPTION 2
lunch and dinner (no wine) in ordinary restaurant =
1,000 Baht;
one bar girl (no presents etc.) = 1,500 Baht;
odds and sods = 500 Baht;
presents = 500 Baht
booze = 1,000 Baht
which = 4,500 Baht/day = US$ 112.5/day =US$1,125 for 10 days.
With option 2 you will need US$1,500 max. If you go for option 1 please send your email address and I will recommend a bar where you will be welcome to ring the bar as often as you please.

Mike says:

Alan,

Bring your 5,000 and learn my rules 6 posts up by heart ;-))

You will make many Thais very happy, promised!

English teacher says:

Option 3:

Thai Breakfast: 30 B
Thai Lunch: 30 B
Thai Dinner: 60 B
Chang or Leo Beer, 5 Liter per day: 350 Baht
1 Barfine, 1,000 Baht
The girl stays with you 10 days, 5,000 Baht (or free)
Total: 16,000 Baht (including unexpected expenses, like medecine for diarrhea)
= 400 dollar

Not every english teacher could afford it .... : \

JohnUK says:

An English teacher who spells 'medicine' as medecine and diarrhoea as ( the admittedly acceptable in some dictionaries ) dairrhea ? Hmmm. Must be a New Zealander.

Tam says:

Poo - you are all poo fuckers. you all fuck poo. poo poo poo. yes u all fuck poo

Anonymous says:

Posted by English teacher | July 1, 2004 09:14 PM
Option 3:

Thai Breakfast: 30 B
Thai Lunch: 30 B
Thai Dinner: 60 B
Chang or Leo Beer, 5 Liter per day: 350 Baht
1 Barfine, 1,000 Baht
The girl stays with you 10 days, 5,000 Baht (or free)
Total: 16,000 Baht (including unexpected expenses, like medecine for diarrhea)
= 400 dollar

Not every english teacher could afford it .... : \
------------------------------------------------------------

Incurable dick rot: Priceless!

KDub says:

You know what I like about this site? You can say "poo fuckers" and no one gives a shit. Poo fuckers...poo fuckers...poo fuckers....and fuck you Lonely Planet! I'm hooked on Mango Sauce.

roger says:

This site really is full of western dropouts who have failed miserably in their home countries and are now crawling the streets of bangkok for lust. how many of you are on dope- 95% i would imagine. How many are divorced-95% again, how many are just total bollocked up fat obese, white milk skinned, no job loosers-100% for sure.
I bet the boss of this site is a UK DROP OUT for sure.
Regards,
Normality

TANAI KWAI says:

I don't mean to brag but I'm not any of those things and I would tell you about all of my property and stocks but they are simply too numerous to mention.

(winky)

Dean says:

I could not imagine the Canadian comedian, Tom Green ever doing a tour-of-duty in Thailand!

His contemporary style of irreverence would be out of place next to a primitive, primieval Order that seems to pervade the mystic land that is Thailand.

bags says:

yeah well ive been in thailand for about 13 days now and yes i have pulled a bar girl, i also pulled 2 girls who claimed to do something else, as for the current one i havent got a clue. its odd though , maybe im an actual perv(prob) but after ive pulled thai bints i walked down the freakin khao san road, and i cant take me eyes of the farang flesh, even the rough ones. I would just like to know if anyone has experiencd this need to pull a farang after pulling thai girls, maybe its just the jugs (prob)

vernon god liddle says:

roger,
jeez your really accurate there, but unfortunately in the way you make your strikingly true argument you couldnt help youself but come across as the smugest knob on the fucken planet

ROGER says:

Cheers Vern,
Nice to see your accurate too.

james samui says:

I go to Kho Samui quite a bit, and what you say is true.
Especialy the bit about making a tit of yourself my mate SHIFTY came out there with us and took 5 birds back to his hut with him oops...sorry i forgot 4 birds and a bacardi breezer he wernt to impresed when he found out and to top it off he got up on stage in a go go bar in Pat Pong stuck a number on his chest (taken from a not so amused brass) and done a bit of what he thought was sexy dancing.

Go on the SHIFTY....

Dave says:

Witnessing someone greeting a Thai prostitute with a wai is indeed a good laugh.

Dean says:

In Thailand, I saw many shows. There was the elephant show, the monkey show, and the cobra show. A spitting cobra.

When I was in Thailand, I had a friend who worked as a tour guide. A real government licensed tour guide, and not a "tour guide". There are tour guides, and there are tour guides.
My tour guide friend Jaroon brought me to see a Cobra Show in a district about a good hour and a half drive from Bangkok. Jaroon then said that in Patpong, there are pussy show, banana pussy shows, banana ping-pong pussy shows, fucking shows and then he said, "What about masturbation show?"

I thought about that and laughed. Then I imagined myself starring in one that would be funny. In some bars in downtown Bangkok you can see a "fucking show" where a couple copulates on a table where often, patrons will watch as they are eating their dinner! I imagined myself on a table in a masturbation show. Just me, sitting on my ass, lying on my back masturbating to orgasm, ejaculating while a few couples sit around and watch and comment.
When I imagined that, I just laughed and laughed and laughed!

Yours, Dean

PS The Canadian Embassy in Bangkok is located in Bangrak district. Bang rak; the village of love.

AVID says:

Do they have masturbation shows at the Canadian Embassy or something?

Now who's being a silly cunt!

The G.O says:

Does anyone on here frequent the Nana Plaza go-go called Angelwitch? One of the best go-go's in all of Bangkok. Great shows and great girls.
Anyone been in here often?

shuggie says:

And your point caller?

The G.O says:

This is a forum isn't it? Just asking if there are any other AngelWitch fans out there.

No-one likes a smart ass.

shuggie says:

And your point is.....?

what?

The G.O says:

ok...I'll type this out nice and clear for you, seeing as your having a real hard time taking this in......

ARE THERE ANY ANGELWITCH FANS OUT THERE? DOES ANYONE KNOW ANY OF THE GIRLS WORKING IN THERE?

shuggie says:

*make a tit of yourself on a thai blog*

mr peter says:

Anglewitch is overated much like longun and a few others. I went a couple of times and found the girls very off hand. The costumes are pretty awful and the waitresses are rude, at least when I went. Could not be arsed to wait around for the shows which are almost always boring. The only shows I ever liked were the naked lesbian dildo fucking ones, sadly long gone. I'd rather listen to the thermae juke box than waste time in Angelwitch-peter

PS what happened to Dana? maybe he cannot get the hang of thai interenet cafe's, believe he's there at the mo-

liveonedge says:

peter i emailed dana the other day so he know's how to use it

Aardvark says:

I have just seen this site and would like to comment having just been in Pattaya September....
Go go bars were not the scene for me but got dragged into one off Walking Street on a Saturday night.

Now there was this huge very drunk disgusting American sitting there with his wife and I can only imagine what was going through her head. Anyway this lout thinks its his turn to play tarzan from the swing in the middlle of the stage and procedes to almost bring the whole damn ceiling down. All the girls looking on in utter horror. When the management succeeds in getting this jerk back to his seat he proceeds to manhandle every girl he can lay his hands on much to the utter disgust of his wife who refrained from saying anything because just sussing the vibe there, I am sure he would have backhanded her. Eventually I finished my 80 Baht beer and walked out in disgust.

I wonder too, why these arseholes, especially the Yanks and the English hooligans pay for an expensive air ticket to Thailand to spend their time in drunken stupour. And they call this fun.

These idiots should definitely be persona non grata - ban the lot.

Cheerrs,

Aardvark....

mike w says:

Guys.I must say this is the biggest load of bollox i have ever read.Dont get me wrong your all comedians and made me piss my self laughing But i must say i see a big fat ugly cunt of a yanky dancing in a go-go bar with a thong on.He even tried to get a live thing going on with the girls.But was pulled to the ground by 3 thai guys and throw into the street with just a thong on.Pissed my self laughing.This was my 1st visit to pattaya and the girls are ok some mingers some stunners.Why is it that you seem to find the girl you dreamed of getting the first night .and some how manage to find her on the last night a few hours before your due to take off.Any way im going back there in september to find that girl again .Probably willnot find her again .Oh well i will have to go second best .Take care guys .Nice site but must say theres some wankers on here .

Rick E says:

Erm, so can you, like, PAY for SEX in Thailand? Wow...is it legal?

Cheap Charly says:

The surest way of making a cunt of yourself is to buy a bucket of ping pong balls and tip them out on the stage.

I really hate that ping ping shit, luckily it just seems to be confined to Pattaya, I haven't really noticed it in Bangers.

K.E.N.N. says:

as to all the American Bashing , i could not agree more that it always seem to be American's making fools of the selves and embarrasing the American's who dont act as fools; i have been to my share of Countries from North America to South America and from Eroupe to Asia ; and i always run into the Americans who run around with their Cowboy Hats on; i do find them rude ; but with all that said , i do not think it is a true sterotype all the time ; I am American , born and raised in New Jersey ; i do beleive most of the Problems are the Ones from the south ; Traveling REDNECKS is just wrong ; they should not even be alowed out of their own States neverless the Country

philH says:

I worked for twelve years for a company near Sriracha and most of the guys lived in and around Pattaya. Whenever we had new boys sent out from the UK it fell to an assortment of "old" hands to show them the scene. Inevitably the question of the "shows" was raised and we'd have to take them to one of the sleaze pots of which there are a few. One of the places of choice was a bar called Tigers in Soi Diamond, mainly because the show was lurid enough to satisfy the new boys but not stomach churning.

Anyway, one one occasion we were lounging in there watching the stunt where a girl drinks a bottle of Pepsi up her Jack Danny then stands up and drains it back into the bottle. So she is standing there proudly showing off the bottle to the audience and soaking up the applause. We are making plans to move on when suddenly one of the newies leaps up, grabs the bottle and downs it in one. The fcuking silence was earth shattering, even the girl was dumbstruck.

We all made dam sure we marked our own coffee mugs good and clear the next morning.

OK, Tigers doesn't eaxctly rate as a gogo bar but that's how a professional make a tit of himself.

And he was English!

Andy says:

philH; I'm sure that is some sort of Hells Angels initiation ceremony rite of passage? Most assuredly American.
After drinking the foul beverage, the lucky guy gets to be initiated into a gang of butch biking boys, and they all ride their Harleys around Pattaya with gerbils up their arseholes and a photographer in tow; capturing their charitable deeds towards local orphans. Afterwards, they all circle-jerk over orphanages that have fire-bombed in retaliation for making them appear weak and misguided.
Don't drink the Kool Aid,...

philH says:

No Andy, I can vouch for the fact that this had nothing to do with bikers, Americans or charitable orphanages.

This guy was a mid twnties, uni graddy, fresh faced, middle class, English twat!

But at least he made a small contribution to the ongoing legend of Pattaya life.

sa_penguin says:

I will never be able to watch a "Coke vs Pepsi" ad again, without thinking of your story.

Then again- Pepsi drinkers will drink almost anything...

Nintiwirri says:

I did it. But I'm an Aussie @rse

Rags says:

What the hell is wrong with drinking the Coke. I've drank it, ate the banana, smoked the cigarette, and a whole lot more. Live a little you pussies. I'm still kickin and disease free.

Bobo says:

Rags - get tested buddy, you may be in for a nasty shock. Those lescions on your willy are NOT normal.

kearns says:

I did practically everything that was mentioned above. Funny, I'm an American, not fat or hairy, and just a mere 20 years old. Thankfully I'm not a dirty, hairy old liberal, who most likely is a euro trash. You "wanks" are around every corner I turned in Thailand...Crowding the streetside bars with your ugly mugs and horrid body odor.

I never had to pay for a girl while in Pattaya or Bangkok (IF) I didn't want to. Only place I paid was the soapy house, which was worth 1500 baht. Come on, who doesn't want to get rubbed down in suds with a cute girls tits and ass.

It's also to easy to meet women in thailand that aren't dirty whores. If you have trouble in your own country and go to thailand to get laid you are a pitiful man. Learn some game. Adding to that, you ugly old timers need to take a break and clear the way for us better looking younger fellas. haha. But, hey, old business men need to have fun too I guess. You earned it.

On another note, I agree with rags. you need to live a little. I drank the coke, ate the banana, smoked the cigarette (actually all the cigareetes and bananas that night), got shot in the ass with a dart from some air filled pussy with a dart gun, caught a ping pong ball that was shot at my face at about 20 feet per second and started a hand toss game with it, and had a "tea party" on stage with my shirt off with 200+ people watching. Plus many more things. It was all worth it in the end, the backstage treat proved that. I'm going back to do it again in September. peace nukkas.

-kearns

Andy says:

Hey, kearns! If you don't get snagged by the new immigration laws barring supposed Westerners with Comedy Grammar and Chimp Spelling skills, please feel free to visit again FOC. You've earned it, nitwit.

Walter Guest says:

I came to Bankok for a 30 day looksee because I couldn't get laid in the States. My second night I found a waitress in a massage/bar. We spent every night of my 'vacation' together. She was my only 'conquest' in that time.
I went home to get my affairs in order and returned to Bangkok. We have been together for two and a half years.
We have visited a dozen of the massage/restaraunts in our area. The waitresses are always the sexiest women in those places. They always look innocent and willing.
The dirty little secret is most places won't hire women with darker skin for the sexual jobs.

ozricmann says:

Myself and my friend didn’t get up on stage but rather got up on the seats and started singing and asking others to join us which i am proud to say they did.
This all began after my friend asked the D J to play some Guns and Roses and other rock music. It was then that the other side of the bar began clapping and just enjoying the spectacle even some of the girls seemed amused and also some of the others who were sitting at nearby seats. These frolics suddenly all ended when my friend fell from the seat and crashed onto the floor, I think some people must have though my friend was hurt but he wasn’t and instead of drinking up and leaving, {we both were a little drunk by now but not inebriated.} he got up and sat down by the main stage and everything went back to normal I went over and I began chatting to a girl near my friend.
It was a little while later that the girls on the stage started giggling and looking at my friend so I went over and I could not believe that he had taken his cock out and that the girls on stage could all see it. Two other Thai girls however did see and saw the opportunity to milk the situation, so they went sat and down with my friend and started chatting while trying to get a better look while he ordered some drinks. As the place was quite busy nobody seemed to be taking much notice of my friend anymore but how he got away with that and none of the girls saying anything I will never know.

My friend and myself did finish up and go to pay the bill with girls in tow but when we got the bill it seemed to be just too much so we asked why and I tell you no lie when we were told we were being charged extra for standing on the seats and having the D J play the music we had requested. My friend then laughed and asked if we were going to get charged for extras, then what about his cock as well. This seemed to make the girls with us laugh but the Mamasan get a little annoyed so we decided to cut our losses and pay most of it leaving them with 500 baht profit for our antics and all was well again.

There was a nice touch from the Mamasan as we left……… she just smiled and said,
“come again”.

daz says:

Sad bastards
Spent three years in Thailand and its sad old sweaty bastards or down right ugly fuckers like yous who need these riddled sluts cus u cant get a missus.I know its hard not to go down the slippery slope when the there ,but it aint realityGET A FUCKIN GRIP LADS!!!!!!

long knobby says:

I HAD A GOOD LAUGH AT PATPONG I LOVED THE VIBE.THE GIRLS WERE ON THE WHOLE A BIT ROUGH. THE GIRLS IN THE TAKE AWAY JOINTS MUCH BETTER.I HAD A GREAT HOLIDAY AND ENJOYED A GIRL I MET AT A BANK, THEY REALLY LIKE IT IF YOU TREAT THEM LIKE A LADY IN PUBLIC BUT LOVE BEEN TREATED LIKE A SLUT IN THE BEDROOM.

JB says:

I'm an American that has been living in Thailand for 9 years. And enjoying myself throughly. For me it's embarrassing to be an American because of Bush and all that he has caused in the world. Not by how some guy acts in a Bangkok bar. So there.

I have never danced on a stage. But I have eaten a lot of pussy. You can do if for about 500 Baht. It's a hoot. So what. Have fun.

Have any of you ever been to a nude dance place in America. I can get laid over here for what it would cost to just get inside one of them. So while you are here enjoy yourself.

I've noticed reading this site that you had better use proper english or you were worthless. Well fuck you guys if I make a mistake or two.

Another thing I have noticed is that most of the goody-goody guys say that guys like me just whore around because we can't get a relationship going in our own country. Well shit. Look at what I would have to choose from if I was in my own county. If I was lucky it would be a 50 year old fat barfly. I'll take my chances in Thailand, thank you

Is it some kind of badge of honor to have a relationship with the same person for 30 or 40 years. To put up with all that shit for all those years. And still doing it. Yeah man, you are a stud for doing that.

Well, I have about 20 relationships going most of the time. Some 6 or 7 years old. All with bar girls. I don't want a relationship with a straight girl. Why? I like to drink beer and watch girls dance. Then fuck.

So you guys can stay with the missus and listen to the same old shit you have been listening to for 30 some years. I'll take my kind of relationships thank you.

For those of you that have commented on coming over here and spending your whole vacation with one girl. Think about it. I did after I made my first trip over here 30 years ago. After going back to America and rethinking my whole trip. I realized that I had spent most of my time with one girl. Anyway, something to think about. I guess at that time I was looking for a relationship. I should have looked around more. I was young then. Plenty of time then. It's not that way anymore.

About waitresses. I met a girl in a go-go bar. She was cool, but a little old. 28 or 29. But she had a really good heart. She had 3 kids staying in 3 different homes. To make a long story short she quit dancing and began to work as a waitress in a restaurant. She did better there. a lot of guys were happy to meet a "waitress" rather than a go-go dancer. Think about it. She hooked up with a guy and now has all her kids living with her and her boyfriend. A Thai bar girl dream come true.

I think the guys that run this site should send out a questionaire (sp) on tips for the newbie. It is something most newbies would appreciate. Maybe a guide on this site for new guys coming over.

greg says:

hell that is a nice finish, suggesting a more comprehensive guide, from a rather acidic rant.
Suppose we're all wankers in varying degrees.
The 2nd time I lived there for only 3 months. I was given an apartment and a per diem. 'twas so nice to bring a girl back to something that wasn't a hotel room.

I still swear by Soi Cowboy's after school. Too much of a hj productiion though?!

Middle of the day and I'm getting plastered in Canada

Sadbastard says:

What a wonderful site this is. I haven't laughed so much since ... well, since I was last in Bangkok.
If I had a point, I think this would be the point at which I'd make it.
I love this place. I love Bangkok, too, for all the samesame reasons as anyone else. I know exactly which demographic I fall into (the one called "sad bastard over fifty in sexless marriage getting laid a few times before giving it all up but at least I'm not fat, bald and smelly, American, or from Bristol, and I have a vestigial amount of class") and I'm proud to be part of the procession of quasi-human lifeforms dazzled by the cheap glitter of Bangkok.
I'll be back in a week's time on another hard-hitting issue-based fact-finding mission, so if anyone wants to have a laugh at my expense, walk up to me at Big Dogs and say "you are Sadbastard, and I claim my vodka-and-Red Bull". You'll recognise me because my pheromones distort my Kirlian Aura.

Costas says:

Hi Everybody,
I will be coming to Bangkok, for 7 days, at the end of November.
I have booked through an agency a gorgeous Thai girl to stay with me for 3 days for 24,000 Baht.
Am I overpaying?
Should I cancell the reservation?
I will appreciate your help.
All the Best.

Common Sense says:

Costas,

Fuck yeah your over paying. 3 days should be around 3,000-6,000 baht depending on how smooth a talker you are. Free if your a younger man.

Costas says:

Common Sennse,
Thank you very much for your reply.
Unfortunately I'm none of the above and it's quite late to cancel now.
She is going to pick me up from the airport and the agency knows the hotel I am staying in.
But at least I have booked her only for 3 days out of the 7 I am staying in BKK.
The other 4 I will try my luck.
I wish I had read the comments on this Website earlier!!!!
Best regards
Costas

Common Sense says:

Costas

Since your none of the above expect to pay about 2,000 baht long time in bangkok plus a small barfine to the mamasan. Any more than that and tell them to piss off. Don't let the whore haggle you up. Pattaya is normally cheaper. Expect to pay 1,000 to 1,500 there. Oh and if you swing by for a soapie (which i highly suggest) it's 2,000 max although the manager will try to milk you for more from the get go. NEVER pay more than 2,000.

Jack Wow says:

Costas, like when purchasing any product you pay for what you get. At that price you should expect a very good service. D&D free, shower together, full body massage, great sex, get you dressed in the morning, clean your room, even engaging conversation.
Paying the same rates as Common Sense pays you'll probably get a glued-to-the-TV mum-of-two, who will fleece you for what she can.
Unless, of course, you're a young smooth-talker.

Common Sense says:

Don't listen to this blabbering idiot. Just read some of his previous posts and you'll soon realize what a moron he is. Any woman in Thailand will fleece you given half the chance. Go in with your eyes wide open and if you don't like what you get boot her ass out and grab another. I've recieved all the services Jack Wow describes from girls who didn't even charge me let alone the ones who did. Treat the girls with respect and they will treat you well. If they don't kick them the fuck out ASAP. Even better yet find one with a buffalo and you'll be treated to a free trip at his expense. I'm sure Jacko supports a girl or 2.

philH says:

24k Baht for three days? He's been fleeced before the brass even gets her turn.

Costas, you've paid top drawer and it's too late to back out. You should expect the rinky dinky dog's bollox treatment. If you are really lucky, between the shagging, you should get to see the Grand Palace. If you can see it from the hotel window that is.

Jack Wow says:

Costas, my apologies, my previous post was based solely on rumours and conjecture. You'd be much better off taking Common Sense's advice on this matter as he obviously has a lot of experience in this field.

Good luck, enjoy your trip.

Common Sense says:

You've finally faced reality Jack. Although I'm sure from your past experiences the higher paid girls treated you better. Hell i damn near want to charge you 1,000 baht anytime you reply to one of my posts. I can only imagine what a poorly paid bargirl must be thinking in your hotel room. GET ME OUT OF HERE comes to mind though.

Either way as long as Costa's doesn't fall in love with the highest paid whore in Thailand; he should have the chance to try both sides of the coin. Hell if he plays his cards right he could have 12-24 girls for the next 3 days for the same price as the first one. Let us know how it works out for you Costa's.

Jack Wow says:

12 - 24 girls in 3 days. Christ, I wish I had your stamina Common. That must hit your wallet pretty hard.

They must pay a good salary at Team America then?

Costas says:

Common Sense, Jack Wow, PhilH
Really appreciate your advice. Thank you very much.
God!! Can't stop laughing with your comments.
You are all Great.
As about 12-24 girls...... I'll try with 2 or 3!! At least I will go to hell with a smile in my face.
I will tell you all about it when I come back in 10 days.
Many Thanks again and please, keep it up.
My Best regards
Costas

Common Sense says:

President of F.A.G.

That was a hyothetical response to demonstrate how much he overpaid F.A.G. Do I have to explain everything to you. 12-24 in 3 days is a bit much but I do have the stamina and money to handle it although my dick would hate me for the abuse. I would probably have to cut back on expenses though which would involve slowing down on drinking and shacking up with your GF again to avoid hotel costs.

TEAM AMERICA!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!

Jack Wow says:

Ah, so you're the guy who's all stamina and litle imagination. My GF did mention you. And regarding the other small matter that makes her giggle, try not to worry. You're still young - it may grow yet.

Common Sense says:

Oh She said she giggled when she saw it? They was I remember it was her gargling when I shot it. Maybe sommething got lost in translation. Now give her a big fat kiss for me and choke on my seed.

bluse says:

I like this site very much. You all are a funny lot. Good luck in the Kingdom Costas.

The Moog says:

What I do is stick my mobile phone between my buttocks and then proffer it saying.

"Hey smell this."

If it was a finger, people would refuse, for some reason, bargirls will smell a mobile phone.

Obviously the average farang arse in bangkok is none too fragrant, a pot pourri of sweat and anal seepage.

It amuses me.

Hugh Jabballs says:

go go girls want one thing and thats money. I want one thing and that is free pussy. Wait until the bar closes ( bar fine) take her to your apt say you pay long time. Hide your wallet and phone, in the morning go to your pants and pretend to look for your wallet, act like you lost it, if u can cry on the spot do it. Then tell her u have to go to emmbassy to report lost wallet, they wont know your lying. she will get tired eventually and leave.
boom free pussy

Common Sense says:

With the failure of Costas to report back on his sexploits I can only surmise one thing. He must have followed my advice about the 12-24 girls. His poor heart probably exploded right after his balls. I promise to be more responsible next time and encourage a visit to the physician before engaging is mass orgies.

Costas says:

Hi, I'm still alive. A little tired!!!!but I'm still living the dream!!! Why didn't I know about Bangkok before??? Why nobody told me about Paradise on earth? I am planning my next trip in February and this time I will be happy to snuff it in their hands or mouths or whatever else you want. Now I have a bitter feeling that I have waisted my misserable life living in London trying to be the good husband. Sod them all.
IAM GOING BACK TO HEAVEN.I have fallen in love with 3 little shits from Isaan and only thinking of their gorgeous faces, beautiful tits and little shaven cunts drives me up the wall.
This time I will fall in love with another 3. Fuck the money!!! I know you will say I am a wanker to pay so much, but I started living again and I love it. For you people that you are living in Paradise, when you see Nut, Nok and Gee please tell them that Costas is only dreaming of them!!!
Now, what am I going to do with the old Hug?
Love to everybody.
Costas

Costas says:

I forgot to tell you.
Next time I am booking a Hotel without a facken television!!!!
Costas

Common Sense says:

So how was the treatment with the highest paid whore in Thailand versus the others. I see you still ended up with a glued-to-the-TV mum-of-two.

Costas says:

I don't really know the difference, Common Sense,because I didn't get a girl from the bars. I would imagine that I avoided the "OK, you fuck me now, Yes". They were very active and did everything to please me. I had my showers my massage and all the other good things.Also I had a companion to see Bangkok and the beautiful Temples and Palaces, floating market etc.
So I did see some tourist attractions,PhilH, and not from the hotel window!In February I will follow your advice and pick up the girls from the bars. I'm still learning!!!!
Best regards to everybody.
Costas

Ministry of whore and prostitution says:

Thank you for spending money in my fucking country. If you want to fuck cheap go to Ratchadapisek road, there are many girls waited for people like you. They sit in a glass room, you select what you want and fuck. 1,500 baht/2 hours, ask for her number and later u'll be able to fuck her for free.
Check it out!

Welcome to Thailand
Quay Toe

Costas says:

Quay Toe,
I love your country and your people. Your comment was out of place.I think you are the one that has a problem or you didn't understand my answer to Common Sense.Please, don't spoil the excellent impession and memories I have from your country.As about the 'cheap fuck' as you put it, I leave it to you to enjoy. Regards. Costas

Stan says:

Why is it always a Brit vrs. American thing? Could you actually tell that the asshole in the bar was American?

I must admit I have not yet experienced the Thai bar scene. My wife has always told me to "Go ahead!" in the curious manner in which a Thai woman says but really means "I'll cut your coi off!" Everytime I'm in Thailand it's training w RTA or visiting my relatives' and their resteraunts.

But re Brits & Americans pooing in the punch bowl: Once in Turkey during a Cultural show, a drunken Brit Soldier put a dollar in his his fly and got up on the stage. The belly dancer wouldn't take it, and some of us Boo'd him loudly. He shot off with something about "Fucking Americans . . ."
And I defended my honor yelling, "You fucking wanker! (Hickup!) No wonder we left your fucking island!"
I was quite proud of myself, but my wife shrank under the table.

ROWLY,ENGLAND says:

I loved all the women in chang mai,bankok,khon kaen,phuket,samui,pattaya,udon thani and salford,and the ones i met were money hungry cock sucking whores.I fucking loved it.I"m going back to do the same again this year,but fuck salford.Oh and fuck liverpool,chelsea,arsenal and anybody else that knows me.I forgot why i was here.dont pay more than 1,500 baht for all night boom boom,no matter what you look like or even how old you are.thankyou everyone,except granny robbing scousers.

asiaten says:

Marmite is English, from outside London. Alas we can remember when he thought not giving bar girls any tip was smart as they obviously wanted him so badly? Being fat and arrogant and borrowing money from Bristolians must be a heavy cross to bear.. also being nice to Americans when in they are within ear shot..Seems that Thai bar girls are not the only ones who have good stories to tell...

jessums says:

im a 16 year old girl from the uk and im also completely and utterly baffled. Its as if the word mature has just lost all meaning. You lot aren't even sad, you're bellow that.

mr squirty says:

Dear Common Sense,
I am visiting BKK in May and fancy trying a soapy, however I fear that I may become rather aroused & release copious quantities of sticky white bollock fluid to mix with the soap suds, thus creating a horrible mess.
My question is: do these establishments provide in-house shower facilities for post-ejaculate cleansing or must i simply don my clothes and face the long, uncomfortable, deeply humiliating walk back through the crowded streets to my hotel room?

Pants Elk says:

Dear "jessums" -

Any post in this forum that starts off "im a 16 year old girl" is likely to get the kind of attention you presumably don't want. Incidentally - your short comment contained seven mistakes, not counting your decision to make it. Still, hang around, girl! Mango Sauce needs a broad spectrum of opinion (and all the sixteen year-old girls it can attract).

Your Pal,

Uncle Pants Elk

Common Sense says:

Mr. Squirty,
Soap + Suds = Of course theres a fuckin shower you twit.

Mr Squirty says:

Thanks for the re-assurance common sense, yes I am a bit of a twit but thats only bcoz i keep my brains in my bollocks, but now I know I can make a sperm fountain as big as I like and the nice soapy bubbles will wash my shame away

Akasha says:

Oh my God...no wonder the world is in the state it's in. When ugly middle aged "I can still shag someone young enough to be my granddaughter" men are not bombing the crap out of each other, they are making spectacles of themselves in Thai bars and possibly taking home diseases to their "old trout" wives. *sigh*

Common Sense says:

Akasha,
Taking diseases home huh. I'll lay out some quick stats for you. Last year in Thailand, 23 Marines, 30 days, 207 women, 2 cases of chlmydia.

Upon returning to Japan. 9 went back to America, 5 had girlfriends there, 2 caught chlmydia and 1 caught gonorreha from their girlfriends.

The diseases are just as prevalent among the American sluts as they are among the Thai whores. At least the whores do it to support their families.

More shagging = less bombs

Mr Squirty says:

Hi folks!
i'm coming to BKK for a whole month, flying out of Heathrow tomorrow, first visit, i'll be the tall good looking but yes "middle aged" one wandering dazedly round Nana Plaza,looks a bit lost coz he's a newbie type thing! trying to figure out which establishment will give me a nice soapie without breaking the bank.
I'm gonna try to figure a way I could live out there on a more permanent basis, I would like to give sincere thanks to all the bloggers on this site who have given me so many good belly laughs and a bit of inspiration too, hope i dont make too much of a tit of myself squirting off in a BKK go-go bar, in any case i'll tell you how I got on when I get back in April...cheers!

ozricdan says:

squirty..........

if you want a good soapy then head to ANNIES MASSAGE in nana soi 4 past the nana hotel and on the right past the first 7/11 which will bring you to the rajar hotel, just keep walking down and you will see ANNIES.

1,500 for 1 hour with 1 girl but you get a soapy bath a bbbj and fuck and a massage as well.

chock dee...........

walker says:

I am going to be a fool in everyone's eyes:

Thou shalt not commit adultery.

How many wise men do we need to tell us this? How many decadent empires do we need to show us this?

Woodie says:

There's this guy JB, back in Oct '06 that I identify with and agree completely. Typos: fuck'em. The literature police will find 'em.

I'm one of those ex-pats on a package deal that doesn't have to pay for a thing except beer and whatever comes next. Live in Singapore but get over to Thailand a dozen times a year. Been doing this for 3 years, now. I'm not what you would call a fat ugly American. The opposite really. But, was married for 20 years and 3 years ago asked myself, "Do I want to be married to this nasty person and spend the rest of my life as unhappy as I am now?" Nope. Let's give us both a chance for a great life. So I changed everything. You see, I believed I could get the feelings back I had about love and sexual passion I had when I was in my 20's. In fact, I deserved it. But it had to be a new beginning. Cut the cord. Take charge for a new life, so I did.

So I went to Phuket 3 years ago, first trip, first night, saw more lovely ladies than I ever saw, bar girls, massage girls, even 7-11 girls. Stayed out drinking until 2am but didn't pull the trigger. Went back to my hotel alone. (my buddies couldn't believe it the next morning). But, there was this tiny massage girl that had given me a regular Thai massage that just stuck in my thoughts. Sweet, tiny, beautiful and hot. So next morning I went back, had another massage and we got to talking more and she went to lunch with me. Had to pay a $300 baht shop fine. Well, after lunch I knew I wanted more,, so we played pool for a couple hours to break the ice and that did it. Back to the hotel to explore this absolutely gorgeous little brown creature. We ended up staying together for the rest of my 5 days. Cost me 5 days of shop fines, plus I paid her 5000 baht, although she never asked.

Now 3 years later and many trips, I have seen my share of Thai bar girls, massage girls, and drunken tourists all over Thailand. I enjoy the drunks. Let em have their fun pole dancing (it's never very long). They probably have a lousy life like I did to go back to. The drunks are part of the entertainment to me and sometimes I'm the drunk. And about those guys that try everything, including drinking the coke: That's what life in Thailand is all about. Going the extra mile. Trying stuff you wouldn't dare try on your prissy wife or girl friend. Go for it man! Just respect the country and the Thai girls and people while you are there. Leave the place better than when you found it, as my Dad used to tell me.

The bar girls and massage girls: Bar girls, it's all about the money and that drives them to lie to get more money. That doesn't make them bad. It's just the reality of where they are. They won't be bar girls forever. Some are just passing thru, some there for longer. Watch your money, treat 'em fair, and don’t fall in love in a week! Massage girls, now that's a different story in my experience. Some of them are just bar girls mentality, but others are not cut out for the bar scene and are really just very nice girls making a living. Find one (if you care to actually have a relationship) and show her respect, learn a few Thai expressions and you will have a LBFM that is more ethically balanced then you could ever hope to be, and devoted to you, if that's what you want.

I guess that's what I wanted. I had had many Asian girls all over SE Asia but I could not shake the Thai charm. My job still takes me all over and girls are beautiful in every Asian country, but nobody treats you like a Thai girl and nobody looks as hot in bed with those lips, piercing brown eyes and glowing brown skin, flat stomach, shaved pussy and curves that just don't quit. For me, I never got beyond that first massage girl. Never tried a Thai bar girl. No regrets. I totally understand the guys that exist on short time girls, the variety of life and no entanglements. Beer and a different lady every night or 2 or 3.

But for me, that first girl and I have been together for 3 years. Sex is better; everything is better every time I see her. (12 times a year). And she continues to blossom. She is hotter now! In 2 years, the plan is, she will be my wife, we buy a condo or house in Phuket and hopefully we will live happily for many years. She now runs her own massage shop in a great hotel (yes I bought it for her). This gives her all the cash flow she needs. So she happy, me happy! As for what makes the rest of you guys happy, Up to You! Ps This was the short version (sorry guys). I could tell you some stories about her massage girls!

Woodie

daznlover says:

nobody treats you like a Thai girl and nobody looks as hot in bed with those lips, piercing brown eyes and glowing brown skin, flat stomach, shaved pussy and curves that just don't quit

Now, Woodie, why did you have to put this picture in my mind? :)
Good to hear about your happy story.

Monty says:

It was great reading these accounts and it's too bad some pious types have to get in here and judge the others who are a little more adventurous. As long as people don't get hurt, then screw these folks. They can preach to themselves, but don't judge others just because you don't see it their way. Maybe you ought to walk a mile in their shoes? And anyone who has lived in an Asian country knows the score: I've lived in the Philippines for 10+ years and if it wasn't for these dudes who want to go out and blow off some steam and whatever, things would be a heck of a lot worse; believe me they're not corrupting people any more than is what corruption by the local populace that's already there. They're putting money into that economy and to that particular lady who they score with, so Good on 'em!!!!! So for the "judges," let them visit Stonehenge, or the Louvre, enjoying culture and being pissed at themselves for not enjoying things on earth,that they really wanted to do - deep down inside - but didn't have the balls to try.

ma says:

wankers....stupid idiots..

Pa says:

Hi Ma ... and hello everyone!! The UN should be strategically located in Bangkok , That way I as a free American can have sex with sexy thai gals for ummmmm whats that 1000 baht and its a 200 baht bar fine (pending how drunk the UK,Aussies,New Zealanders,SouthAfricans(white boys) have to lick the queens ass and salad toss the prime ministers butt)Oooo hence the Gov . General of each of those countries (in which as u pay triple)lol..... because ur dumb fucking drunks ... and u ask how I do it. Well Ill tell ya .... I wink from my eye (and not out of ur brown eye when u bend over. like Brits do in nana plaza to attract katoeys)haha.... and dont think salad tossers(erm I mean tossies. erm .. Aussies) dont either,lol. There still isn't enough UK tongue to lick an Americans butt . but theres plenty of thai women that does love an American man(not like the whole country of English men and the skirts that they wear to the urinal!) So you men ...On this note.. finger fuck urself... with the same fingers ... eat a Happy Meal. lick ur fingers and have a nice day.

Pa says:

Hmmmm must be a pohmie sight.... hello FOX and the BBC..... Problems with content I see ... lol

jollyboy says:

pa , your either a dyke or a queer, anyway got to go - to busy getting pissed and having a shag .. hard old life isnt it

oliverkluk says:

Hey guys,

Why have'nt we seen anything about the ladyboys in Bangkok, Pattaya and Phuket. With their often exaggerated femininity some of them are absolutely stunning when it comes to sexappeal and beauty. This even more so than their "real women" competitors, who in general, in my opinion, are much smaller and often "look the same" compared to the widely different styles and looks of the ladyboys.

I used to think of myself as a 100% hetero who would rather die than "make out" with another man. Having my first ladyboy experience many years ago in Pattaya and many many more since then, I still consider myself 100% hetero (because all the pre-op ladyboys I have been with all consider themselves 100% female), but no "real woman" could have given me the great sex I have experienced with these lovely creatures.

I might add, that I for the past 3 years have had a ladyboy girlfriend in Pattaya. Not only is she fun to be with, but she is so sexy and beautiful, that I sometimes wonder if I'm dreaming or awake.

Try it!

Oliverkluk