July 7 2006
Farang girls get naked in Bangkok

Wouldn't it be great if Thai office girls had mock cat-fights around the photocopier and pulled each others knickers down?
Of course, in most go-go bars, it's all part of the show but, even in this setting, strict rules of conduct apply. Unfortunately, however, overwrought farang girls often think they're exempt.
It's always a mistake for a guy to bring his farang girlfriend into a go-go bar because she'll react in one of two ways. Either she'll become insecure and hostile or she'll become insecure and naked.
For everyone's sake, you have to pray it's not the latter.
A couple of months ago, we were sitting in Soi Cowboy's Midnight Bar beside a group of young American lads. One of them had foolishly brought his farang girlfriend along.
Two drinks later, her clothes were off and she was dancing on the table.
I could've forgiven Angelina Jolie such impulsiveness but our 20-something exhibitionist was great fat lump with a big ginger minge - and she was blocking our view.
Spontaneous nudity is a real headache for any bar's management due to the daft cat and mouse game they're obliged to play with the cops. When a signal is given, the dancers are drilled to cover-up in a flash.
Our quick-to-strip farang girls - tourists, presumably - don't understand the anxiety they're causing.
Quite apart from the legal aspect, how must her boyfriend have felt when his mates were gawking at her twat?
Frankly, there's no upside to it.
When the mamasan rushed over and told the silly girl to put her clothes back on, the whole place erupted into a spontaneous round of applause.
Sitting to our left were a middle-aged Canadian couple and it was pretty clear that the wife wore the trousers. Her octopus-like hands were giving the bikini-clad showgirl on her lap a thorough goosing.
"I'm a feminist" she explained.
Her sheepish-looking husband looked like he wanted to be somewhere else - or perhaps in the same place but on his own.
After the introductions were made, our new feminist chum announced that she too fancied a turn on the chromium pole.
Sensibly, she had a word with the mamasan first and it was agreed that she could dance upstairs - above the bar's glass ceiling - so long as she kept her knickers on.
In fairness to the old doll, she had a better figure than the girl twenty years her junior - which says all you need to know about today's modern woman.
Neither of them could hold a candle to the Thai girls, though, so their antics were a mere distraction.
It's not just farang girls who mistakenly believe that anything goes in Thailand.
Imagine the scene... It's a quiet dinner party in suburban Bangkok comprising four couples and the grown-up son of the American host.
The lad was over from the US for a few weeks and had spent most of his time enjoying the nightlife. He thought it was cool to whip out his phonecam and show everyone a 30-second video of a bar girl giving him a blowjob.
I think he was trying to come across as a rakish man-about-town but the ploy backfired spectacularly because he's now known as "That problem-child with a small cock."
See also
Make a tit of yourself in a Thai go go bar
[Posted to Nightlife by David]
*** THE COMMENT FORUM IS NOW CLOSED ***
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