Crikey! Steve Irwin snogs ladyboy in Midnight Bar

meister says:

With each visit I get more and more tempted. I've now resorted to getting a mate to carry around a bucket of iced water to throw over me at the danger points!

Dicer says:

"Who looked as pale and puffy as a factory-processed chicken carcass" - David

One more cheekier monkey way of looking at whitening (and ladyboy hormonizing) to my collection...

I once trained 3 tarts to sing a "dam dam" song on the shampoo-whitening aisle in Tesco (yes yes the one that was bombed but not reported last week). The silly tarts were only upset on not having the right costume. The local mutants were busy sniffing and paid no attention to them. In my ever growing vexation I'm planning to sabotage my local Tesco's PA announcement system for the same purpose but what with the incidents I feel that I should refrain from shampoo analysis for a while...some general is reading here and absorbing my words as gospel.

Coldweasel says:

The funniest thing I have read in months. Surely it is not premature to consider publishing The Best of Mango Sauce: Vol 1. It would fly off the shelves of Asia Books.

Road Natzi says:

Davo,

Having personally met the legend STEVE IRWIN, I can tell you he was up for most things but would NEVER have been caught with emphasis on the word 'caught' kiss a LB.

In any such instance I will draw you to a couple of Aussie sayings:-

a.) Don't knock it until you try it.

b.) You're not considered gay unless you push back !

c.) You're considered a rude bastard if you don't give your mate a 'reach around' whilst giving him a doggie serve.

d.) I've never fucked a poofter, but I've fucked a bloke who has.

e.) Here's to you and here's to me, best of friends we'll always be, but if by chance you disagree, then FUCK YOU and heres to me !

& finally f.) Bend over and touch your toes and I'll show you where the wild goose goes.

Keep ur funny stories rolling Davo, you are truely a classic.

Oh & of course I couldnt help myself but send a little kiss kiss to my unemployed gimpe mate in the ole U S of A who has watched a lot of war movies & woken up many times with his hand on little common. Howdee common, tell us about you're encounters with ladies with gonads!

Faber & Faber says:

Davo,

Having personally butt-fucked the legend STEVE IRWIN, I can tell you he was up for most things but would NEVER have sucked my balls. By the way, his favourite singer was "Sting"

In any such instance I will draw you to a couple of Aussie sayings:-

a.) Don't knock on a door if there is a bell.

b.) You're not considered gay unless you are willing to felch !

c.) You're considered a hard bastard if you give your mate a 'a nice sloppy kiss' whilst giving him a doggie bag.

d.) I've never tucked a roofer, but I've tickled a bloke who has.

e.) Here's to you and here's to me, Here's to me and here's to you...erm...here's ...a ...mmm? Daa_daa!!

& finally f.) Bend over and touch your toes and I'll show you my arse where Dana lives.

Keep ur funny stories rolling Davo, you are truely a classic.

Oh & of course I couldnt help myself wanking but I've just sprayed bollock yoghurt all over my own face! Here's a little kiss kiss to my unemployed gimpe brother in Melbourne who has watched a lot of my home-made movies & woken up many times with his hand firmly entrenched in my rectum.. Howdee Bro', tell us about you're encounters with our mother's snatch!

regular Patpong drinking buddy says:

Yes, David, it was, indeed, absolutely repulsive. I still can't get that thing out of my mind. It was just the way the wispy little hairs were growing all around that big gaping hole. It was horrible. I hope it doesn't happen again.

------------

Hi RPDB

I couldn't agree more, mate. It looked like an empty eye-socket.

Regards
David

Half Man Half Goat says:

Hey David,

Looks like the scumbag Keith "virgin Hunter" Summers is slagging you off again.

Now there's one cunt I would'nt mind seeing slip on a spear gun...

Half Man Half Goat says:

Here's part of Keith's rant this week: (NB: he also claims to have buggered 3 boys this week)

'This week Dave from MangoSquash (mangosauce.com) suffered a severe blow (so he says). Dave claims that thousands of Google search hit results have vanished into empty cyber space. He claims that months and months of hard work are down the drain.

I can't help but imagine Dave with his scrunched up little baby face, eyes squinting, squawking in a crying voice, "I lost my Google web traffic".

Dave is disparaging himself. He is despondent. So, without further delay let's get Dave some help. Let's get him some sound advice from a stable and wise soul. I know who we need -- we need Dr Gene Galt.

Fortunately, the doctor is in.

Dr Galt "Physiologist at Large" has a few basic words this week for MangoSquashDave of MangoSauce.com.

Step 1 - Facing the facts

Hello Dave...... Guess what Dave...... Google doesn't want you. I'm sorry Dave, but you're a scourge to the Internet landscape. You're a Bill Clinton, Dave. You have no shame. You're a little shit Dave.

You have nothing credible to talk about. The only statement that you're interested in is your bank account statement.

Step 2 - Wake up and Smell the Coffee

Your sole motivation to publish is to make money of other peoples misery and misfortune. You publish and allow be published lies and deceit knowing full well that much of what is said is completely false and slanderous. And now you are crying because Google doesn't want your site? Dave, I have news for you, most of the world doesn't want your site either......

You're retired Dave, you have money. So, why sit at home behind your keyboard pining away?"

What a TWAT! We should send him a stingray via UPS.

thaigunner says:

in the words of the great billy brittion you are not a man until you have done a lady boy!

Roadster says:

Faber & Faber,

Almost funny, but clearly you are one of 'Commons' ladyboys with gonads.

You FREAK!

Skytrain Mo Chit says:

Dave and Stickman are both up the ole shit creek..maybe they can do a mutual ball sack massage to each other to help ease the pain of being who they are and what they do !

Mac says:

I would never lower myself to the point of actually going to Galt/Summers' website, but the snippet posted above just underlines how pathetic and bereft of any talent or originality the guy really is.

Evidently, he doesn't know what the word 'disparage' means, but of course that doesn't stop him from using it.

As for the word physiologist, I'm gob-smacked amazed that he spelled it right, but in the context in which he tries to use it, it makes no sense whatsoever.

Maybe he meant physician, i.e. a medical practitioner?

More likely, since he's pretending to offer counsel in a sarcastic way (and falling totally flat) he was trying for 'psychologist' but couldn't find it in his dictionary.

Once again, Keith Summers demonstrates that he is a hopelessly untalented wannabe. On average, a single Mango Sauce posting contains more wit and verve than Summers could muster in an entire lifetime.
No wonder he tries to take shots at you, David. He must be enormously jealous.

Very Funny says:

I agree you should try to put out a written volume.

I have purchased most of the books on Thailand although failed to read most of the shitty ones but I reckon with your northern sense of humour they would be funnier than most.

Johnny says:

He was actually quite active in helping elephant conservation in Thailand, and was about to set up a huge reserve out of his own pocket before his death.

I remember the quote at the time from a Thai person "He lived life on the wing of a dragon"

Jimmy says:

Dont feel privelegded that u got a peek, i actually felt that bird up down under - and it wasnt good

but i wasnt as rude as you guys and it invited me for a freebie

which i declined of course and moved on to some real crumpet (that was gagging for it incidentally)

Dave The Rave says:

It was a shame to see ole Steve Irwin go, but he certainly won't be the last man to be STUNG by a creature with big flaps that smells of fish. (Joke kindly sent to me by Big Joe from Koh Samui).

www.DaveTheRaveBangkok.com

Kirkaiya says:

Ha! Amusingly written little bit about the Irwin-wanna-be.

I ended up traveling to Australia for three weeks just after he died, and it was something on the order of .. hmm.. maybe of a Michael Jordan dying back the states (not that he has, but I actually never realized how much Ozzies really did love Irwin, as opposed to say, Paul Hogan).

Anyway - Living in Thailand for three years or so, i'm always sort of torn (on the rare night that I'm at Cowboy, *cough*) between letting the tourists I see with the ladyboys know, or just letting it go...

So far, I've always just let it slide - never sure if maybe they *know*, and maybe that's what they're looking for - or if maybe they'll never find out, and hey, kathoeys need to make some baht too!

(and on another note - don't you wish you could sneak into that Zeta all-girls club at RCA? Anybody send in a femme spy yet to get a report on what's going on in there? hmmmm)

Rick the Prick says:

At least learn to spell Nazi troll.