August 2 2006

Bangkok nightlife: Bad men who misbehave

If your chum is banging away on a prostitute within minutes of meeting you for a drink, then he's been poorly schooled in Bangkok nightlife etiquette. To leave a pal nursing a lonely Heineken for half the evening is pretty crass.

Unless all members of the party are up for a take-out, politeness dictates that those gentlemen who wish to hook up should do so after hours - much to the dismay of Bangkok's pushy nightlife girls and their barfine-hungry employers.

I aired my strongly-held views to a friend last week but, obviously, I was preaching to the converted. Regrettably, the credibility of my sermon was slightly undermined by a frisky go-go dancer who was stuck to me like a hood ornament.

Your Ad Here

You can always tell when a guy is about to crack. As the goofy smile spreads across his face, calls for restraint become mere background noise - like a Tata Young track or the hum of a transformer.

One night, in a tawdry upstairs bar in Patpong, a normally reliable drinking buddy suddenly announced that he couldn't resist the charms of an elderly dancer. In fairness, she had a great body but her face reminded me of Lonely George, the 150 year-old sole surviving Pinta tortoise from the Galapagos Islands.

"Don't worry" he assured me "There's a short-time hotel just around the corner and I'll be back in ten minutes."

The other dancers were skeptical but I was confident that he was a man of his word so I ordered him a beer.

He took his first sip twelve minutes later, which must be something of a record - but one that he might not wish to boast about.

Her coworkers were stunned but Lonely George took it all in her stride. A veteran of the bar scene, her words were steeped in two decades of Bangkok nightlife wisdom:

"Why you not do me in the toilet?"

[Posted to Nightlife by David]

Your Ad Here

Readers' comments

hentaigaijin says:

fair play to her, my kinda gal. i like helping the golden oldies roll back the years.

August 2, 2006 5:50 PM

Dana says:

I've never adjusted to the impersonality displayed by the veteran girls. I'm just a fool I quess. I fall in love every time.

August 2, 2006 6:38 PM

Andy says:

A knee-trembler in the bogs? Not unless there's a fat line of "posh" in there too, mate.

August 2, 2006 7:52 PM

Mr Thaksin, bangkokchat.org says:

a Chula gal wonked me off in the lift [Central Mall rama 3] once.
only went up and down 4 times, fast hand action.
l wonder if Walter Mitty [Mr Sloan] will add that one to his Blog?

Thako.

August 2, 2006 8:02 PM

Combover says:

12 minutes is good work. I think I managed 15 or so on Pattaya Soi 6 once, at half time during a televised football match.

Then I came downstairs to find my team had surrended a two goal lead. Deserting the lads is clearly bad karma.

August 2, 2006 8:02 PM

Pitt Dong says:

Why he not do ha in toilet? Then he can puke in toilet after he finished and be back to beer in under 5 minutes. Just like movie Kingpin with Woody Harrelson. Stupid lad. Must be from Scotland or England or one of those nasty places.

August 2, 2006 8:14 PM

Pattaya Pete, tour guide says:

I managed a beer, a bar-fine, a girl, and back to the bar for another beer in nana plaza last year while my thai g/f was picking up her visa application form from the uk embassy on wireless road... total time 40 minutes!

August 3, 2006 2:50 AM

chris says:

to be honest ive fallen to this kind of beahvoiur and now as a result have no friends,but do pay a lot of bar fines.

August 3, 2006 9:20 AM

nick says:

"..the 150 year-old sole surviving Pinta tortoise from the Galapagos Islands."

Quality!

August 3, 2006 2:01 PM

Thaihome says:

No this is more like it.

"He took his first sip twelve minutes later, which must be something of a record - but one that he might not wish to boast about."
This is indeed a dilemma. Do you go back and have the beer and acknowledge that you might have a rather quick trigger or just do a runner. Worst thing is running into your mate on his way into the ST hotel on your way out. Especially when you left him to pick up the bill.
TH

August 4, 2006 3:10 PM

daniel says:

whats the rush! take your time isnt that what its all about.
Or just get your mate to take another girl and then both come back when your finished, or alternativly take her in the back and then you can tell your mate if shes any good or not mind you after he knows his friends been with her i doubt he would want her, but at least he knows you had a good time.
he who dares, wins.

August 4, 2006 9:02 PM

daniel says:

oh sorry guys want something quick with no short time rooms... some massage parlors have the full sex without the massage try the massage parlor next to eden-club in soi 7/1.

have fun.

August 4, 2006 9:05 PM

Dutch R. says:

Just reading the comments cracks me up!!!Youse guys sound like a hellofa fun group...Haven't been to LOS in about a year but reading all this has got me thinking of getting on a big bird again soon...

Thanx to all that posted here for some fun reading!!!

November 25, 2006 11:45 AM

*** THE COMMENT FORUM IS NOW CLOSED ***