Bangkok newbie gets stuck in

Pants Elk says:

It's the other way around (as one imagines it tends to be in this demographic) - girly-men are hot for the scrotum-jowled geriatric child-fancier because they think he's a porn star ("Woody" as in hard-on). Latex "Woody" masks, worn by afficionados, have, I'm told, the effect of a cattle-prod swizzle-stick in the confused hormonal cocktail that courses through their bloodstream.
No, you're right, I have no idea. But what was your friend doing in a titboy club anyway?

Sidney Silverman says:

As Woody Allen's legal councel I demand that you remove my client's image from your site before he is lumped in with sex tourists and whoremongers.

[Shouldn't that be legal counsel? - David]

Common Sense says:

You should have demonstrated to them the occupational hazards of half naked mechanical bullriding at Carnival in Nana. I haven't seen girls with such bruised and battered inner thighs since tearing through a Mexican mamasita after a year in Iraq collecting dust on my tool.

Pants Elk says:

"Common Sense", I bet the problem you have with women is nothing compared to the problem they have with you ...

Common Sense says:

Ahhhh!!! More thought provoking insight from the flaccid cunt with a chip on his shoulder. I bet you stole that line from Dr. Phil you unimaginative twit.

Pants Elk says:

Hah ha! You walked right into that one, "Common Sense"!

I wus KIDDING, ya big lug!
(gives "Common Sense" a manly punch on upper arm)
Lighten up, will ya! We're PALS! BUDDIES! What's that? Sure I like you really! Hey ... you're crying ... gee, I'm sorry ... here, take this handkerchief ... big blow! and again! There ... that better? No, you can keep it ...

Dude says:

Could you veterans please help me out with a curious question of mine: Do the girls in the bars (go go bars or the other bars) REALLY get checked for STD's every month (3 months)?

Common Sense says:

Awwww u got me on that one. Your absolutely right, I did walk right into another lame response from a grown man stuck with the maturity of a 3 year old. You clever guy you.

You remind me of the slow kid in school that always tried to pull pranks, but never realized the other kids were laughing at him and not with him. Similar to Forrest Gump, only dumber. Don't worry though, I'm sure one of these days you will find a place in society with others just as "special" as you.

I do recall seeing an article in here about a deaf mute hooker with a social disorder. Sounds like a match made in heaven to me. You rambling on like an idiot thinking your so clever while she can understand nothing you say. Her blank stares come off to you as aknowledgement of your superiority. She could care less what your saying as long as the money is there when she grunts for it. Both of your needs are fed and you live happily ever after. (Assuming she doesn't learn to lip read, in which case she will likely cut your tongue out.)THE END

Prufrock says:

Common Sense

I have no dog to grind in this fight but you do much damage to your effectiveness as an internet cage fighter when you mix your metaphors; as per your heartfelt and sincere;

"More thought provoking insight from the 'flaccid cunt' with a chip on his shoulder." (note the single quotes)

"Flaccid" usually applies to penises and the shaky logical paradigms found in Dean Barrett's insane barrel-rolls into hate-mongering racism i.e. where in the absence of fact and reason the "writer" dramatises his flawed argument in order to conceal its puerility.
(Goodness gracious! Is that a word? - Could have used flaccidity there but ..... Oh heck, you know what I mean :-).

Any number of sensory descriptives i.e. steaming, putid or horse-collar-ish can be applied to the already approbriative "cunt." Which although fast becoming an over-used chestnut is resonant, appropriate, and effective enough all on its own.

These awkward misappropriations combined with spelling and grammar errors weaken the thrust of one's counter attack. And there's the harm.

I have a personal preference for spelling errors.
Most people fail to notice them, don't care about them or admire the whole "je ne sais quois" thing of the writer not having been being arsed enough to look stuff up.
Those for whom spelling *is* a real issue are usually just too stupid to follow any argument other than the flaccid "He tried to kill my Daddy" stuff.
Happy as clams among your spelling mistakes these pea-brains can busy themselves reminding "the choir" of the weakness of your position and then go off to murder 600,000 innocent people for f*ck- all reason that I or the Baker/Hamilton Commission can see.

Hope this has helped.

J. Alfred Prufock

Dicer says:

Funny. Imagine taking Borat across town to the massage places for sexy time.

They may look like Woody Allen, but if these dawdling geriatrics had a fraction of his wit or intelligence then maybe they could have scored a few of the many lookers he's managed to do over the years.

Here is Woody Allen's signature wit in Play it Again, Sam...about the character's (Allan) first divorce.

Why should a divorce bother me so? Maybe I'm better off without her. Why not? I'm young, healthy, got a good job. This could be my chance to step out a little bit. If she can swing, so can I. I could turn this place into a nightclub. Get broads here
like you wouldn't believe. Swingers, freaks, nymphomaniacs, dental hygienists. If she didn't want me I won't push myself on her. I couldn't believe what she said when she left: "I want a new life. I want to go skiing, go dancing, go to the beach, ride through Europe on a motorcycle. All we ever do is see movies." - I write for a film magazine. Besides, I happen to like movies. "That's because you're one of life's great watchers. I'm a doer. I want to participate. We never laugh together." How can you say that? I'm constantly laughing. I chuckle, I giggle, I guffaw. Why didn't this come up when we were dating? "You were more aggressive then." Everybody is during courtship. It's natural. You can't expect me to keep up that level of charm, I'd have a heart attack. "Goodbye, Allan. My lawyer will call your lawyer." I don't have a lawyer. Have him call my doctor......

and then somewhere else he says:

If all else fails I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.

Dicer says:

While we're at it

http://nymag.com/guides/summer/17409/

which goes to show that he's still on top form .... and this comparison of him with the Waldos is amusing... can you imagine... Waldo wants to be like Woody Allen in trying to impress his latest rice tart with slapstick, eating noodle with his fingers and there is rice tart dribbling in fits of laughter....naaah.

Saeb says:

Don't you find that forums in Thailand these days are just stuffed with rednecks doing 'Thar thang' in Iraq or Afghanistan?.

Jeez, what boring people: Listen guys, you are doing it for the money?. Right?.
It's not like you were conscripted and got out of the Somme or Stalingrad.

I think someone should open a "Super Hero in the 'Stan / Iraq' forum so these guys can have mutual wanks and share later episodes of PTSD together whilst ignoring the money they made as mercenary armies of occupation.
Mercenaries are the lowest form of life possible.
I speak as an ex Mil person.

Have a nice day, don't forget the tissues and the cream.

bob says:

all BGs briefs are stained yellow with piss stains where they never get washed from 1 year to the next. they shove them in their bag till the next night and pull them on again.

satyr says:

Vertigo at the Banyan Tree is well named. I went with a friend but could not stay for that very reason. I was OK (sort of) until we went and sat at the narrow area leading to the bar. We were looking straight out and virutally straight down... fuh-reaky!

Common Sense says:

Prufrock,
I appreciate your suggestions on spelling although I make rather few spelling errors. The ones I do make are typically typos or the result of drunkenness. I'm guessing your British by your use of the word arse so I thought I would bring it to your attention that British and Americans often spell words a little differently. I used to think David made many errors in his articles until this dawned on me. So perhaps some of the errors you see are the result of different vocabulary.

Saeb,
I appreciate your hippie non-sense as it shows you have no idea what the fuck you are talking about, and saves me the trouble of arguing against it. I will point out a few of your misgivings though.

First off, I am not a mercenary, I am a Marine who volunteered to serve and defend his country. The pay is not enough to be a motivating factor as I could get out and work in Iraq for Blackwater as a true mercenary making 5 times as much. These people are motivated by money, not a sense of duty, which would qualify them as mercenaries. Every country must maintain a military to defend itself (except the French who just need someone to surrender). If it were not for volunteers, there would still be conscripts to this day in America. As soldiers, we do not make policy or decide where we go to war. Soldiers simply follow orders and do not question them. If we do begin to question them and revolt, then my/your country would be no different from Thailand or Fiji. You cannot have a true democracy when the military steps in and throws a coup every time someone doesn't like the current policy.

It is up to the people who elect the government and those elected officials to raise those questions about who, when, where, and why we fight. I just go where I'm told and shoot who I'm told to shoot. If I don't like it then I have the choice to get out at the end of my contract (which I am doing in 2 months although for other reasons). My other option is to VOTE. That is how democracy works my friend.

One last thing before I retire for the night.

"Mercenaries are the lowest form of life possible.
I speak as an ex Mil person"

That statement carries about as much weight as me saying-

"People who have sex are the lowest forms of life possible.
I speak as someone who has had sex."

Think before you speak. Just because you have filled the shoes before doesn't mean you word is "Gods Word".

Now enough of the political shit before this gets out of hand. Lets get back to admiring those nice boxes we all love so much.

The Gimp says:

Stupid pommy wankers, why don't you get a life.

FyaPonDem! says:

bob,

you're right about those skanky briefs, but worse is that 'rash' most of them have leading from their box/backdoor onto their butt cheeks. it's yeast infection, mmm-mmmm. gee, wonder how they got that? yeah, let's all go pay to shag skanks that sleep with different dirtbags every night! whoo-hooo! not.

Bandersnatch says:

Yes, Prufock, puerility is a word (and perhaps more apropos here than you realize).
"Approbriative", however, is not. (Nevertheless, when combined with the word cunt, it does capture my imagination, inasmuch as I'm always interested in trying out exotic new varieties.)

A "putid" cunt? Hmmm ... Could that mean having an insidious Vladimir Putin-like quality, such that a few days after a satisfying and seemingly harmless poke, you find your member radioactive and rotting away due to the deleterious effects of polonium poisoning?

Attacked any counters lately? Or did you mean counterattack?

Oh, and you really should learn how to use semicolons correctly before attempting to gimble other people's writing skills and galumphing off into the cyber-sunset.

Such awkward blunders considerably dull what was apparently intended to be a vorpal posting, and do much to augment your effectiveness as an internet cage liner.

Prufrock says:

Don’t know if this’ll help but here goes.
Bangkok, June wk2 or 3 close to Sukhumvit’s Thermae about 1:30 - 2:00 am

Hugely built 115 kg? American “hard-ass” . . . . . big-time NON- surrender monkey for sure. Very tough looking fucker. He gets into it with a French guy about the same height but by his appearance better suited to a couple sets of tennis than a street fight.

There’s some yelling. It’s about Iraq and “’Amerika’s’ responsibility” Keeping the world safe from terrorists. Blah Blah Blah

Frenchman gets called a fag/pussy. Ignores it. Says he doesn’t want to fight.
“Look. I don’t know what is your problem with me but I do not want to fight you.”

A crowd starts to gather.
Amerikan gives him a two-handed shove and Frenchmen kind of stiffens and hops backward, recovers his balance, glances over at his buddy and shrugs.

Things get interesting when the Frenchman slips out his sandals kicks them over to his buddy.
Amerikan blinks.
Frenchman hops forward and raises his arms and deflects the ‘Merkin’s first couple of brutally heavy punches. “This ‘Merkin was a seriously tough looking bastard.

Frenchman steps further back after two or three more of these blocks, lowers the arms slightly, raises his eyebrows. Asks the Amerikan if he’s “sure about this”.

This fucking ‘Merkin screams “Sure? Sure? I’ll show you fuckin’ Sure motherfucker
IT’S fuckin GO TIME. . . MOTHERFUCKER. . .fuckin GO TIME>
(He actually says this).

Frenchman started with a barefoot “sabat” stab-kick direct to the ‘Merkin’s solar plexus.
The he got in a crippling snap-kick to the outside of the ‘Merkin’s right knee. The ‘Merkin partially deflects the Frenchman’s hard open handed killing jab straight to his throat. But the Frenchman gets a piece of him there because there’s an instant welt.
The ‘Merkin gets in close for some gouging and grappling. There was maybe even some biting. Hard to tell.
‘Merkin grope and grapples around to pick him up for a slam of some kind. Can’t do it.
Frenchman stays on his feet and then gets in solid elbow smash straight into the guys face. Frenchman then hammers the guy’s ribs with seven or eight short sharp punches. Finishes up the close stuff with a two handed head grab and two wicked head-butts. Second one opened the piñata. Blood everywhere.

‘Merkin, dazed and staggering is stupid enough to take another swing with his right.
Frenchman steps in; arm bars him and then breaks it .
The he steps to the side and round-house kicks him once more to the solar plexus.
‘Merkin barely conscious drops to one knee but turns his body towards the Frenchman.
Frenchmen jumps up and concusses him with an elbow smash to the top of his head.
‘Merkin falls to the broken arm side.
Looks mighty painful.

Fight over.

French guy’s shaking like a leaf. Flip-flips go back on.
Buddy tends to the Frenchman’s minor cuts and swellings.
They walk away talking animatedly to one another.

‘Merkin gets some ice laid on him by his girlfriend and her friends.
He comes around when they ice his face, sees the crowd, yells for more ice.

Less than 8 minutes?

IHTFP 04 says:

Saeb,

Some do it for the money; I do it for fun.

Johnny Tokyo says:

"Now enough of the political shit before this gets out of hand." from Common

So, after all your gassing off about how 'Merka works as a democracy this is actually how you feel, isn't it.
This is what you really believe. . . . . and why you really serve. Robust criticism and facts that contradict your fantasy are inadmissible. Discussion over.

Hey Common, you serve 'cause you got suckered in, or 'cause you needed a job or 'cause you were without any other options. You can't fool anyone with this other identity you've concocted for yourself.

You accepted "US Marine" as your new identity because you were bored with your own.
Or you didn't have one.
None that you could live with anyway.

And after 9/11 your above quote is more or less what your moronic national leaders dictated to Merka's drooling masses to herd them into this f*cking slaughterhouse in the first place.
And you-all bought it.
Every lie. (WMD etc.)
Every pitch to fear. (Islamo-fascism)
Every bullshit pronouncement. (Good & Evil)
Bought 'em all.

Remember that Iraqi media shill "Comical Ali" ?
Everybody used to laugh at him?
Used to go on about how you guys were marching into the jaws of a trap?
Everyone laughed at him as he went on about an impending bloodbath?
Well your "elected" . . (now there's a f*cking laugh all on it's own). . . fools were so addled on "oal" and too stupid and ill-informed concerning the realities in play you didn't really bother to listen to the guy Bush called "my man Ali".
Nobody's laughing about Iraq now.
See Common, Comical Ali wasn't talking about "right now" the way a Big Mac is "right now" he was predicting the very horror show you're into today. . . kinda like a guy predicting a good wine five years down the road.
But instead of listening, Merka went for the cheap laugh.
Who's laughing now?

It was better with Saddam: The Baker/ Hamilton report said it in so many words. Diplomacy gets that "oal" flowing.

And your people still f*cking up.
And you're STILL blaming everyone who criticises you. So here's what you're defending; a f*cked up identity as a "warrior" for a f*cked up country, against dedicated insurgents who are picking you off "though the trees" the way American irregulars used to pick off Redcoat British regulars in AWI.

And you're STILL eating any bullshit Bush serves up. You wanna get beyond this?
Learn to think for yourself.
Common Sense. Keep your head down and survive this war. Get back home to the US learn a trade and get a life.

And don't worry. Only one heart attack away from the Upper House, as I write, Bush is taking his Senate back Putin-style.
There's your f*cking democracy.
Grow up.

Dana says:

Attn: Mr. Prufrok and regarding the 'fight' submission--

And now a thought that would not occur to you unless you were very short like me. For my entire life I have been at risk everytime I have left the house because there is always a bully or a fool who wants to show off to his friends or his girlfriend by beating up a little guy. Not once have I met one of these knuckleheads who wants to fight in his weight class. Now that this guy has been humiliated in public we can add him to the list of guys who are waiting for me. Great.

Prufrock says:

Bandarbush, sir:
Actually, yes, approbriative (a word I made up) is simply wrong here. But it works in that it's big and Latin and in this particular case needn't have meant anything. Just had to look good. Deloghted to see it caught your eye.

Surprised you missed "cunt" though. (Probably a "forest for the trees" thing, right?)
I'm sure you know, "Cunt" being one word would not, strictly speaking, be a true chestnut, would it.
(No ?'s in rhetoricals is *my* rule.)
"Never trust a bargirl" is sort of a chestnut. "You're either with us or you're with the terrorists." Or "Imtiaz Mugbil is a Muslim fanatic." are much better chestnuts.
So that "cunt thing" was wrong as well.

I'm just not a very good hack.
Once again . . . Dean Borret's domain fer f*ckin' shure. (Where does he get all that angst?)
As for "putid"? Got me there again. Yup. Spelling mistake. And you know what they say about those spelling mistakes.
Semi-colon; well this depends on your style book, n'est-ce pas? Lotta flex here.
But this instance *was* an inexcusable typo. I was drunk. I don't proof when I'm drunk. It's like handing a dick pill to a katoey. Not that me or any of my friends would do that though. But getting a katoey to take Cialis and shag a hot bargirl is the stuff of Dana's work. Surprised he's not done that.

Re; vorpal posting. Hmmmmm you have a thesaurus at your fingertips don't you, you little dickens ;-)
Should dickens be capitalized ;-?

Decent return.

J. Alfred Prufrock

tracy says:

Was the French guy Van Damme?

Pants Elk says:

Great story, Prufrock. I live in France, and while I'm not particularly pro-French (nor any other nation), I do get tired of the standard American stereotyping of the French as a bunch of cheese-eating surrender monkeys (great as that Homer quote is). Yes, nations fail from time to time. If you're an American, just be thankful you've never had the tanks roll across the border from a hostile and superior military force. What did the US have to worry about - Canada? Mexico?
French boxing is like Thai, isn't it? (I'm no expert). I wonder if that French guy was a professional?

Drivespline says:

Wow, Prucorp

Sounds just like a script for a movie; or the dreams of the typical "martial artiste". I studied kung fu for about five years. I've been around alot of bouts and street fights (well, not that many street fights, but enough to know BS) I bounced in a bar. I remember one fight, inparticular, which was similar to the one you describe.

Picture one black belt and my 5'8", 155 pound friend Dave. Black belt menacingly removed his shoes. I'll never forget the amount of blood coming from said black belt's face, or the sound his head made when it hit the concrete.

I know enough about martial arts to know that fighting in a contolled bout has NO RELATION to a real fight. 99% percent of Black Belts know just enough about fighting to get themselves in a lot of trouble.

Really now, pru. Would you remove your shoes to kick someone? Care to break your foot? A head weighs qbout 14 pounds and is prety hard. Your going to "elbow slam" the top of someones head with your unprotected elbow? Cheif Jay Strongbow made that famous, you know.

You described a dance not a fight. Admit you invented that story and you'll feel much better.

If you do, I will tell you the story of the Battle of Hooker Hill in Itaewon, Soeul. Hookers, boiling soup as weaponry, tear gas, Korean riot police by the busload, me smacked in the head with a pole, 2 dead Koreans, one dead GI, and the bars and BG's back in business in about 1/2 hour.

Is the elegant Frenchman your alter ego?

Dirty Berty says:

It seems to me that Queens Castle II has over looked a potential gold mine in it's knicker bin. They could buy in the panties cheap at Pratunam, get the girls to wear them during the evening and then flog them off at say 100bt a pair. I'd certainly buy a few!

sunglasses ron says:

jesus, that common sense wankah goes on eh?

shat it. yer pie hole.

fakkin liberty

Merkin says:

Well yeah hard fighting is never going to beat some sort of akido shite.
Just keep this in mind when you're at a nice cozy titty bar somewhere in the friendly confines of Thailand. America's worst foreign diplomacy (Vietnam War) is the reason why the go go bar scene got so large. And seriously that's the only reason why most men go to Thailand.
Oh yes only 2 more months and I'll be back.

Jim Anchower says:

Y'know, I'm from the States and there is a certain quantifiable amount of enjoyment I derive from reading posts from people like Common Sense despite the damage it does to the rest of us. Yes, we're pretty much all here for the same reason.... But damn, dude, don't make the rest of us sound like the jar-head dip-shit you are! The only thing you could defend us from is a mild case of the clap and that only because the girls most likely to be carriers would be most attracted to your patriotic chest pounding.

Two other things...and excuse me, I didn't pay attention in grammar class....

When you say 'your', that denotes possesion...as in 'your unfounded patriotism is matched only by your insipid commentary'. I believe in most of your recent posts you have actually meant to type 'you're' as in 'you're the stereotypical American jackass that the rest of the world has a good laugh about'.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

And the other thing...by joining the military voluntarily, does that mean that you are relieved of blame from participating in one of the greatest fuck-ups of all time just because you were 'following orders'?

Go get'em tiger!

Pants Elk says:

There's a buncha grunts here layin' into mah buddy "Common Sense" an' I jes want yew to know that when you aim a blow at him you aim a blow at democruh-see and you strike a blow fer Comm-yew-niz-um and I hope that makes yew feel good yah stupid buncha pinko fags!
WAY TO GO "COMMON SENSE"!!
(Fade up theme from "Stars And Stripes" etc)

Prufrock says:

Divespine?
Bangkok Fight Club. . . . Dominique
Akido, Tae kwan Do, Brazillian, Sabat, some boxing Muay Thai Bare foot English Boxing . . . It's a training center for "street"
Um, how will he, ah, know it's you?
I'm Prufrock. Too old to fight.
My alter ego? . . . . . . Johnny Tokyo.

And sure.
By all means.
Let's have that Korean yarn of yours. Um, yeah, bring it on, as they say ;-)
(um, unless you're wetDream Borritt, uh, then I definitely don't wanna see it.)

tracy
Nope but he's Belgian. Found out later.
(see above)

And Jim Anchower, sir? Booyah! You da man!!
(Rat 'longside khun David, here)

Rat own. And you get it down well too.
*Nice stuff. Good luck to you over there, fella.*

And Dana? Yeah, dude, you don't have to be small-bodied to know what this is all about. ;-)

Except for the BFC thing and Dominique, these are all just one man's opinions
(Didn'tcha usedta jess love dat oleaginous disclaimer thingy??)
Divespine . . . khun Dominique awaits . .

Common Sense says:

Dana,
I don’t think you have much to worry about as it fairly obvious Prufrock's story about the obnoxious American and the French ninja is the result of UFC fan with a vivid imagination. The story is full of more holes than a fully staffed brothel in Thermae. I could care less who won the drunken fight between two idiots, and there might even be a small element of truth to the story. By and large though it's bullshit. For starters how can his recollection of a fight 6 months ago be so vivid. Especially one that took place at 2 am when most people are drunk enough to have pissed away the memories of the night. This is also the first I've heard of a closed fist jab to the throat leaving a welt, maybe on a solid face it could happen but not the soft tissue of a throat. How he managed to see said welt on the Merkins throat in the dark with beer goggles I'll never know either. That's not to mention the crowd of people surrounding the fight. I'm sure no one ever blocked his view trying to get a better look, since this all happened in his mind of course.

Prufrock also has no idea of the amount of force it would take to break an arm with an arm bar from the standing position as he describes. Especially with men of those size. It's nearly impossible without going to the ground as it such an easy move to counter in the standing position. Only takes a little twist and the move is rendered ineffective. He also does not realize the top of the head is the hardest part, therefore one is unlikely to receive a concussion from a direct blow there. If the French ninja did use the point of his elbow it was likely broken. If he used his tricep, no damage done (to soft).

Then he would lead us to believe the French ninja casually walked off after this. Also not likely to happen as he would have wanted to get the hell out of there before police show up. Speaking of which, 8 minutes is an incredibly long fight by any measure. It's hard to believe the police never did arrive in such a popular nightspot as they are usually in no short supply in the area. I find it hard to believe no one would have stepped in after such a long time to break it up either. Oh well, ones imagination is often more exciting than the real world. I still think the French ninja got the worst of the deal after running around on the streets barefoot for such a long time the infection in his feet would probably require amputation.

Prufrock, you may have saw a French man get the best of an American before as there is no divine law that says a French man can’t kick an American’s ass. Admit it though; the details of this story though are blatant utter bullshit. Anyone who knows anything about fighting can clearly see that. Stick to correcting spelling and grammar, your bullshit is less obvious there.

Common Sense says:

Lets step back and take a look at how this whole conversation started. I make one reference to getting my dick wet after a year in Iraq, and was instantly branded a redneck, mercenary, low life, PTSD suffering wanker by the worlds foremost expert on Iraq. Of course person being Mr. Saeb, whose credentials are being an "ex mil person". I simply defended myself without leaving the context of his original post. I challenge any one of you to point out a fault in what I stated. Like it or not, that is how this little experiment called democracy and a volunteer military work.

I have not in this thread or any other expressed my personal opinion on Bush's policy, the Iraq war, or any other matter involving the War on Terror. I just stated facts relating to my personal situation and the law. None of you know my personal opinions on this matter, and as long as I wear a uniform you never will.

You chose to turn me into a whipping post because I defended my job. Well I'm proud of what I do and would not take back the last 7 years for anything. Can you say the same? I doubt it.

True America is not perfect and neither am I. Neither are any of you or your respective countries. I'll man up and admit it though. If you want to attack me, do it on the basis of what I have stated without taking the typical route of a feminist and bellowing out an emotionally charged response that wonders out of context.

Hell I doubt many of you would even be complaining if you thought the Iraq war would form a Pattaya somewhere in the middle east. Maybe thats why Saeb got in a huff about me saying I did not wet my dick over there for a year. He realized this war would not produce another adult disneyland for him to hunt ladyboys in.

Jim- To give you the simple answer to your question. YES

Pants Elk-Although I still think your a FLACCID CUNT, I promise to refrain from any further remarks about France being bailed out of 3 wars in the last century. After the "cheese-eating surrender monekys" comment, I owe you that much.

Now lets get back to everyones favorite past time and correct some grammar.

Bandersnatch says:

Mr Alf Frockedup,
" ... you have a thesaurus at your fingertips don't you ..."

Heavens, no. I thought they were extinct, and anyway, I'd hate to lose a finger to one.
No, I get "vorpal" from Jabberwocky. Whenever I fall through a linguistic looking-glass and find myself wading through wabes of made up words, I turn to Lewis Carroll to get my bearings.

Part of what makes Mangosauce so much fun is that it is such a Humpty Dumping ground of people using words to mean just what they choose them to mean, neither more nor less.
The mangled metaphors, fractured phrases, silly similes and malapriapisms tend to make for some very (unintentionally) entertaining reading.
So when I saw you nixing metaphors, and pointing out a note in someone's eye when there was a blog in your own, well, I just had to get in on the act.

"I'm sure you know, "Cunt" being one word would not, strictly speaking, be a true chestnut, would it."

Maybe not a true chestnut; I guess I assumed you meant a whore's chestnut.

"Should dickens be capitalized ;-?"

Well, since you've pegged me for a little dickens, I guess not. Dunno how you found out, though ... some loose-lipped (flaccid-cunted?) bargirl, I suppose.

"I'm just not a very good hack."

Don't be so hard on yourself. I think you can hack with the worst of them. A nice, cleansing semicolonic (if you can be arsed to do it) will see you in top form in no time. Then we'll just have to grim and Barrett.

And don't think I didn't notice the liberty you took with my name, you sly dog, changing the e to a. Probably thought I wouldn't know that 'Bandar' is Hindi for monkey, didn't you. "Bandarbush." So it's 'monkey cunt', is it? And then the sly subterfuge of appending sir to it, thinking I'd fall for the faux respectfulness.

No, Profruck, you are a hack to be wreckoned with, make no misteak.

Dana says:

"Finishes up the close stuff with a two handed head grab and two wicked head-butts . . ."

More on this fight story Mr. Prufrock. A friend of mine reminded me that in the military all military police are trained to never hit someone on the head because some heads are more fragile than others. Some heads can crack like an egg.

Two head butts? I seriously doubt if any trained fighter would ever head butt anyone because HIS head might crack. This is starting to look more and more like a story you made up Mr. Prufrock. Same-same the elbow to the head. Good way to break your elbow. Too much TV wrestling Mr. Prufrock?

Telemachus says:

Prufrock

You should have been a pair of ragged claws, scuttling across the floors of silent seas.

Saeb says:

Reply to IHTFP.
You do it for fun?. Boy, are you weird or what?.
Suspect you play too many video games.
Ain't nobody in a war zone for fun - never has been, never will be.
Did your Mother drop you on your head at a very early age?.

PRUFROCK: French guy was not called Alain by any chance and his mate Jean Marc?.
Old mates I lost touch with - ex Legion Paras living here.
Gents to a tee but not to be sharing blows with.
Bloody good cooks as well.

bob says:

yes you are all right ,there is a multi million dollar international business in soiled panties going begging for some entrepreneur to start up.
maybe Keith Summers can do it

Prufrock says:

"Prufrock

You should have been a pair of ragged claws, scuttling across the floors of silent seas."

..in the short time rooms the women come and go, talking of stumbling buffalo . .
i grow old . . i grow old.
Shall I wear the bottoms f my trousers rolled?
. . do I dare eat a peach ?

(Are you f*cking kidding? at 69 baht apiece? With the price of Dinty Moore's up over 174 baht? Nuff said ;-);-)

To TS and Trink the usual apologies apply

Prufrock says:

This is so f*cking funny.
Who fights in flip flops?

Six months ago in front of the Thermae, I and 40 to 50 others WATCHED in utter amazement as a drunken loud-mouthed American bully got his lights thoroughly punched out and his arm quite possibly broken by a younger, more agile, more adept, thoroughly trained, barefoot and, from all appearances, completely sober French-speaking fight-clubber.
It happened.
Hard cheese.
Get over it.

Prufrock says:

Blenderbush
Your cage liner thing was the sort of cinder-block smashing blow one can only hope to respond to at some future date.

???????? Query??????????

In a vastly more relevant and more practical vein but somewhat apropos:

After several Breezers,
the barfine,
a tube of lip balm
the condoms
and the hong short,
what does one pay an "okay" go-go starlet who's shocked to find herself in the final stages of menses halfway though a session?
0 - 500 - 1000 ??

Prufrock says:

So if I've understood this correctly, you've comforted yourself with your friend's de-bunking of my recollection of a 6-month-old street fight in order to assuage the fears you would otherwise have felt knowing that somewhere out there, there might have been a freshly-minted bully hunting down small- bodied chaps like yourself.
Is the universe not unfolding as it should. My gracious goodness, Dana.

May I recommend the Bangkok Fight Club? A kind of light at the end of the tunnel.
No "TV"s there but you can learn about all that other stuff about which your "ex-MP friend" has no real clue.
A little update is in order here.

Prufrock says:

Common

Where to begin ?
You're amazingly stubborn I'll say that.

Thank you for freely re-framing my recollections of six months ago in the most specious of detail.
Some of it made up completely. .
What is it with you net-ninnies?

Common, please. Quite understandable from a person who forgets or re-invents the whole account to suit himself in the seconds it takes to scroll town to the brainfart section of this page ;-)
And you're critical of MY memory for detail?

Read before you type!
Thermae's a basement bar right on Sukhumvit. It's not a soi
It's well-lit outside
Belgian wasn't drunk. The Merkin certainly was.
I wasn't drunk.
Cops here don't give a shit.
Flip flop sandals - had to come off ... went back on after the fight.
Elbow slam? (Shotokun cinder block stunt)
OPEN HANDED jab to the throat partially parried by the Amerikan (read/then type)
Does shaking like a leaf mean anything to you? Adreniline OD? Probably needed a good crap soon enough after as well - (maybe some of you or your fellow hard asses could tell us about THAT charming after-feature of fighting for your life since you know so much).
And sure the Belgian took some hits. . . . kicks to the thighs and forarms, punches grazing the face but nothing that would interrupt his breathing pattern. That and his sparring, manouevering, circling and focus is what beat the Merkin. And he was trained. These guys train 4 to 6 hours a day. No pills.
Head butts to the face.
Forearm smash to the face
Dropped arms Remember Clay/Liston?? (blood goes to the legs where it's needed) arms block when and where needed

Step in??
Someone should have stepped in ?? Are you fucking crazy???
I did not examine the arm. But the Merkin was kind of flapping it around after so you might be on to something there. Maybe it wasn't broken.

(Garza?)

Liu Bei says:

Attn: Mr. Prufrock and regarding the 'fight' submission--

Sorry but every b-movie studio has not only seen a thousand scripts with that scene, but shot several hundred. Look up "Jean-Claude Van Damme" for some good examples. He's Belgian, though, not french.

The "Merkin" bit was a nice touch though, in a Beavis-and-Butthead-read-a-book sort of way.

Liu Bei says:

Mr. Prufrock:

The short version (revised) is considerably more believable.

Bring back the "Merkin" part though, we need the laffs here in the cheap seats.

Prufrock says:

Liu Bei, krup

Yeah, probably. I suppose so.
Who cares, really?

Hey, I'm just a seasoned gentleman of a certain age making his way thru the Sukhumvit nite six months ago (minding my own business, trying to decide if my Camel Adventure trousers might look a bit more rakish with the cuffs rolled) when this fight breaks out in front of the Thermae. . . .

Just wanted to talk to somebody about it.

Hope no one was offended that I bridled when two or three of the lads called bullshit.
I'm rather ordinary in that way and many other ways.

I'll give you plenty of warning if/when I decide to entertain you with a yarn.

Andy says:

The first rule of Faux Fight Club is no-one talks about Faux Fight Club.

Preferably.

Liu Bei says:

I took "the fight scene" as a string of confabulations rather than outright conscious bullshit.

Andy: You missed the real fun--all the posturing from the cheap seats (amounting to nothing in terms of bloodshed) in the heyday of the stickman-vs-stalkman telenovela.

Grunt says:

My God...dicer swapping names...having an elaborate conversation with herself.

Where do I get a decent set of hip-waders? The bullshit is getting deep around here.

LiangShangPo says:

I am a History teacher and I was dismayed to hear the responses during a class the other day. Someone on this thread mentioned 'Vietnam' and it is on this subject that i was teaching. When I asked the question 'How many people died during the Vietnam War?' I recieved alot of wrong answers from the pupils. Therefore, I spent ages rewriting the texts books so the future generations of students would be wiser.

During the Vietnam war, 2 million Vietnamese and Cambodians died...and a few American soldiers. So there..

I once saw a fight on Soi Socks between a flemish retard and a hulking Dallas Cowboy. The retard had a built-up shoe and rickets but that did not stop him from unleashing multiple kicks upon the hapless yank. i counted 45 kicks in succession before the yank bit the dust and bled away into the gutter. This proves that even europeans with special needs can still outwit Americans in brutal street combat. I sincerely hope Keith Summers crosses the path of this dandy-kick-ass-retard some day.

Common Sense says:

Prufrock,
Yes I will dare question you memory since you can't even remember that in you fairy tale fight story the ninja was French not Belgian. You'll probably defend that by saying the countries are right next to each other so their practically the same thing.

Sure the cops don't give a shit if 2 farang beat the shit out of each other. But passing up the chance to extort money isn't one of their better knnown qualities.

No one stepping in. HA. Since both had friends there i truly find this hard to believe.

My apologies on the throat jab error though.

Now before you painstakingly pick apart my grammar and spelling I'll let you know i'm hungover, still a little drunk, and frankly dont give a shit enough to proofread.

Pants Elk says:

"i'm hungover, still a little drunk, and frankly dont give a shit enough to proofread."

There's a screenwriter job waiting for you in Hollywood.

Common Sense says:

Thanks for the tip Pants. I'll look into that.

Prufrock says:

Common:
Last time I looked Frenchmen could be from many places, among them, Paris, Bruges, Montreal and Brussels.

Francophones from these places pronounce their English with more or less similar accents. Belgians especially are quite like Normands and the Quebecois. I leave out people from Lacoste, Corsicans and people from the Midi in general for obvious reasons.

Now if my Frenchman had gone into Flemish I'd have perhaps labelled him a Belgian straight off but then I think we both know by now that if I'd done that we'd be having this discussion about how I knew he was from Belgium. (Since at this stage your wish is to discredit me and my Thermae story and you have amply demonstrated in posts to me and any others that you will reframe shamelessly or grasp at ANY straw to have another go at this.)

Anyway, I didn't think that Belgian thing was particularly relevant till I got this query from "tracy"

Was the French guy Van Damme?
Posted by tracy | December 14, 2006 7:46 PM

So I supplied a further detail in a multiple post to several people:
First to "tracy" with:

Nope but he's Belgian. Found out later.
(see above)
Posted by Prufrock | December 15, 2006 2:52 PM

Now, that "(see above)" thing refers to MY guy's actual name and the name of his shabby but adequate little training centre right here in Bangkok.(see below)

Since by this time Divespine had gotten totally into it with this pedantic "kung fu" reframing and uber-sourcing of my original post into a more easily assailable account which he then masterfully proceeded to assail. (kinda had a Fox News doco ring to it)I had to "take care of" him.

To wit:
Drive-by's story about his 155 lb friend who had apparently destroyed a kung fu guy who had "menacingly removed his SHOES" as well (do tell, laces and all?) bore little resemblance to the Thermae incident (or reality for that matter) but it suited Divespine's purpose which was to trash my story.
Either that, or like you he can't be bothered to read.
(You, at least' fess up)
So, anyway, here is my post to him.

Divespine?
Bangkok Fight Club. . . . Dominique
Akido, Tae kwan Do, Brazillian, Sabat, some boxing Muay Thai Bare foot English Boxing . . . It's a training center for "street"
Um, how will he, ah, know it's you?

(Dec 15 same time and date as "tracy")

Then (although he seems to have better things to do at this juncture HotBG+ katoey+Cialis?) we had Dana's MP friend declaring something about "head-hitting verbotten" and someone else (maybe you again) going on about the Shotokun elbow finish as if it had been cut and pasted from a WWF wrestling mag.

(A digression)
Between the point of the elbow and the triceps' tendons there is a hard flat-ish patch about the size of a fried egg. Tendons, bone and connective tissue that are subject to inflamation but are more or less free of nerves.
With surprisingly little training this area can be toughened and de-sensitized to the point at which one can crack a cinder block.
This will concuss if one can get it off. It is a coup de grace move. These people rarely get the chance to use it for obvious reasons.

Now, at this juncture I feel the obligation confess openly to Mango Sauce's resident literati (sincere Barrett inclusos) a profoundly dusturbing personal factoid:

Neither I, Prufrock, nor my work, have ever been optioned for a film deal. That's the sad truth.
Yep, been to many film festivals over the years but I always felt a bit sorry for the luminaries in attendance as they fielded embarrassing queries from desparate schmoozers about reading outlines and "doing lunch."
I enjoyed the buzz at these things but at the same time they were obviously there to promote their own work and not to discover the raw talents of Christopher Moore and Dean Barrett et al. But they'd always have a listen. They're polite.

My book deal thing is more complex. I have nothing against self-publishing. Those of you familiar with my early work know I started out this way as did many others including Sylvia Plath and, for what it's worth William Shakepeare.

I have a different problem at this stage. In compliance with my last wishes my executors, Faber & Faber simply won't permit away games. This condition expires in a few years but until then my work is confined to the Web and to sites like this. . . .

Sites which, needless to say, I thoroughly enjoy.

The calibre of post, even from those who make it their business to try and spoil my fun, is far superior to posts on any other current Bangkok-based site.
Even Dean Barrett's.

It is my hope however in future to avoid the level of consternation which my Thermae fight inspired among some of you.
Those of you who either don't get here that often or who actually work here at jobs which preclude frequent late-nite sojourns into Bangkok's "sao kem" quarters may have a point.
That fight was incredible !

B-movie script?
Perhaps.
If our lives here do not at soem point take on some degree of B movie noir-ishness others might say we're living them wrongly or we should get out a bit more.

I do my part.
No offence.

Liu Bei says:

Grunt " My God...dicer swapping names...having an elaborate conversation with herself.

Where do I get a decent set of hip-waders? The bullshit is getting deep around here."

Let me guess, Grunt isn't your job description, it's 1/100th of your vocabulary. That would explain your use of the ancient "hip boots" cliche, you just don't possess the tools to come up with anything wittier.

Sorry we'll have everyone dumb it down to monosyllables so you can follow at least a teeny tiny bit of it. And no, every person who has read more than one book in their life isn't Dicer, except in your fantasy life, you paranoid solipsist. Next down's baby-generated conspiracy theory, please...

MadMark says:

I'm really not too sure what almost all of that had to do with the original topic.

Prufrock says:

Come on, Common, this just has to be the end of this nonsense campaign of yours.
Speaking for myself and perhaps others within eye-shot here, your grammar, as sloppy as it is, really isn’t the issue, now is it? And you seem to have mastered that spell- check at least but that only takes you so far, or are you not aware of that?
It’s your reading skills. You’re ok with sound-bites but you just don’t have the stamina for the long passages. Maybe you're tired. But at this stage it’s getting tiresome for everyone.

With a little work on my part, (something like a smart Thai must feel as he listens to my f*cked up tones) I can pretty well figure out what you’re trying to say but then I have to turn around and insult myself on your behalf. There are bars here that cater to that sort of thing. I’m not into it. Never have been.

Now I know you can sort of read but for some reason, for my posts, you chose not to. You're more comfortable replying to stuff you just make up. Well, ever the courteous one, I have been trying to understand what you may have thought I meant and work through a step by step explanation. But now you’re just using this drunkenness thing as an excuse to be lazy.

So now that I’ve done all this prep for you, you’re back to opining on the stated facts. That Frenchman could have been a Montrealer for all I knew at first. He was just French.
But you? You make up something about these two countries being close together etc/ etc?. Now you're on about countries being close together or something? Is the light better out their? Is that why your looking out they’re ???? ( ya got ME doing it now ya big lug . (. . . that your=you’re and they’re=there and their =there thing you throw in for excitement). I will no longer toil at clarifying stuff for you.

And, Common-dude, there were no cops.
Quite often here there just ARE NO COPS.
Whether they like shaking people down for money is true but irrelevant.
They were not there.
And usually they don’t bother with fights especially fights involving farangs unless there’s a complaint.
I’ve been here for a long time.
Thai cops do very little of this “real police work” sort of thing.
There’s just not that much in it for them.
You can take this to the bank.
Jing jing, son.
Tonight they were stopping taxis on Suk soi 31 checking farang visas and looking for ya baa. 8! of the cunts, mean and hungry (the taxi driver was worried as well till I told him I had my papers in order.

And no drama on the throat thing Okay? I was gonna use “stab” instead of jab but (and you’ll love this) I thought even though it was more accurate it might lead to misunderstandings among people who would then “find” a knife in there. There were no knives. The weapons sellers are normally closer to soi 5 but they pack up early. The Thermae Underground guy that started selling weapons a few years ago closes at around 7 pm.)

That ‘Merkin stood alone son.
No wing man.
No team of like-minded lads to talk sense into his drunken face.
Perhaps if he’d had some back-up there’d never even have been a confrontation.
‘Merkin just had his comfort worker to push a chicken-juice ice-pack onto his face to wake him up.
Seemed to like it though.
He yelled for more for the arm.
* * * *
You mentioned in reply to a post exonerating those who choose to keep their brothel-creeping confidential by using noms d’ecran instead of revealing to the planet their true identities that you concurred with this practice of screen names.
Yeah, I have much to lose.
And it’s nobody’s business.
Not even Dean Barrett’s
More importantly, it reassures me that you are not the famous Dean Barrett in full Grunt persona.
Beneath you I would venture to say, for some reason.

Honestly, I have not been able to understand clearly whether you are actually in Iraq or not. But you talk like you are so I will just say at this time that I sincerely wish you a safe Christmas and that you are able to put all these newly acquired Bangkok travel tips to good use during your upcoming visit to this place.

Until then, Common, you must take care of yourself and those around you.
Don’t think about this shit anymore.
It was just a shitty fight.
Relax. Drop it.
And if it will enable you to keep your mind on staying alive I will freely admit to making the whole thing up. My Christmas gift to you.
But if you are just another faux GI armchair wanker who’s never even been here or in Iraq. Well, still, have a good Christmas, son.
Be well.

Prufrock says:

Khun Madmark, krup

The "what's all this got to do with ....." remark is perhaps the second most flung blanket-wetter in the game.

First by a mile is that "real name" spluge. But, yes, of course you're absolutely right to protect the rights of those who haven't been following.

Consistency, I vaguely remember, IS a virtue of some sort. And I for one will take the wisdom of this comment and put it to good use.

Common Sense says:

Prufrock,
Do you happen to be bipolar. If so maybe Tanai Kwai or Dicer can offer some assistance.

Divad says:

You get these bullshit fight stories all the time in Bangkok. All this ex-SAS or martial-arts expert bollocks. Now its this new 'all-in fighting' geezer 5feet tall and 7stone kicked shit out of this 25stone American.

I think the bullshit-o-meter is in the Red Zone.

Prufrock says:

Common

Relax, concentrate on getting out of Iraq alive if that's really where you are at the moment.
Or out of that shitty job you have in the States.
Read a little more. It will help your writing.
Whatever.
But chill, just chill.

When ya get a little older you'll find that you jest can't win 'em all but you could easily die trying.

"May the peace of God which passeth all understanding be in your heart and your mind from this day forth and for evermore."

Be well,

Prufrock

Pants Elk says:

Tell you what, "Common Sense", save all this energy you're wasting here for your book/and/or/screenplay. You can clearly find your way around a keyboard, more or less, so you qualify. Go away from this place, shun it, and devote yourself to giving birth to that fabulous cash-cow you know you have gestating inside you. Then come back and wave your big fat deal in our jealous little faces.
Really, your job here is done. We all know you're a big tough guy with a gun who's seen a woman naked.

Prufrock says:

Divad said: You get these bullshit fight stories all the time in Bangkok. All this ex-SAS or martial-arts expert bollocks. Now its this new 'all-in fighting' geezer 5feet tall and 7stone kicked shit out of this 25stone American.

Prufrock says : Sorry, Divad, but actually you don't hear a lot of that here in Bangkok. At least among the people I hang with. Old hat, I guess.

One hears of a very occasional one-to-one fight that keeps most of the sane/sober farangs smart and well back from the action.
But, no, I've not heard much of the sort of thing you're on about.

I've heard many more guys reply to drunken challenges with something like, "No. Sorry, no problem at all." when goaded into a punch-up than fights or even barstool accounts of actual fights.

Perhaps it's just the "bollocks-geezer-25stone-Foooooo-bow yobs" who have done so much to ruin things here that get into this shit in front of the telly back at the council flat back in Yobshitster-on-Tyme that spout this sort of thing.
But, naw, there's not a lot of it here.

Sure, back in Broke-ass-on-D'oal
There's always one or two broke-ass geezahs who'll try on a fight story . . i'n'n''air ;-), roight?? Know wha' oi myne? Usually comes up after conversation involving string theory or environmental imperatives has run its course.

Cheers
Prufrock

Common Sense says:

Prufrock,
I have a little more time to toy around with you now. If you had read more than one thread on this blog you would realize I am currently in Japan. In about a week, I'll be living in California pursuing my new life as a Hollywood screenwriter per Pants Elk's suggestion. I have decided to set aside any great war movies I have building up within me in pursuit of my new interest. I'm thinking more along the lines of a B action flick involving French/Candian/Belgian ninja's running rampant through Bangkok. Maybe Brian Bosworth can be the lead actor.

Why you think you have won anything is beyond me. Everyone knows this story is bullshit but you insist on digging the hole deeper. Put the shovel down Prufrock, you'll throw your back out at your age.

I never made up any new story as you suggest. I did make one error regarding the throat jab. The rest was blatant sarcasm or me speculating what would likely have happened in the "Real World". Check with one of your other personalities, maybe they were there once.

As for your fight, the reason we all know it's bullshit is because a well trained fighter, as you claim the French/Belgian ninja to be, would not use such amateur moves.

Throat jabs, although partially effective open handed, are generally taught with a closed fist or partial fist (fingers half bent). This greatly increases their effectiveness. In any form they would not leave an instantaneous welt as you describe. Only an openhanded bitch slap would do that.

The arm bar. Holy shit. Not only highly unlikely to break the arm without going to the ground, but also not generally taught as a bone breaking maneuver. Arm bars in the standing position are taught to be compliance techniques or to be taken to the ground where more leverage can be generated for a clean break. If he wanted to break something while standing he could have simply converted to a wristlock and broke that.

Head butts are also taught to be used as a last resort while standing. Best used while grappling where the intended impact zone can be better targeted and manipulated. Reduces the chance of knocking yourself out.

Oh and here we go with this infamous elbow to the top of the head. Yes, I know the striking surface for elbows/knees is 2-3 inches above or below the joint. No well-trained fighter would ever consider hitting a man on his knees on the hardest part of his body with an elbow though. To easily broken, even if this part is hardened. That’s not to mention the unlikely hood of this knocking him out. Why would such a well-trained fighter choose to do this. A much easier route would be a knee to the head. Unlikely to injure yourself and very likely to knock your opponent out since the legs are the biggest and strongest muscle of the body.

Are you sure you didn't steal your idea of French/Canadian/Belgian ninjas from the St. Pierre/Hughes fight.

Divad says:

I've never been on the dole or lived in a council flat, so I wouldn't know what they talked about there.

You do hear these stories in your circles, because....... you tell them!

Saeb says:

It is all rather sad when (Brits especially) come here and behave exactly as they would on 'Slime By the Sea, Britlag'.
Get rat arsed and start on someone - it is all rather unbecoming.

And of course the amoount of ex SAS, Navy Seals, Green Berets, SF in general, Spies, Spooks and 'trying to appear mysterious' people that I have met over the years defies description.

Some people should watch t.v less and get out more - maybe a small stroll before Mummy prepares tea and gets Emmerdale on the telly.........?.

Not everyone can be "super 'ard" Ross Kemp, 'my wife beats me' pretending to be an elite sooper sojer.

Prufrock says:

Yeah. Well, okay not Eye-rack then, Japan . . . just as dangerous right?

A hunnert posts back on another thread? I shoulda known. Sonofabitch.
Well Booyah to you, Butch!

Well, "Peace" anyway, chucklehead.
(Damn! So you're NOT even a real soldier? - no f*cking wonder we're getting all this jive-assed 'Merkin shit outta you. All these accusations of fabricating a tale of a little ole fight.
You're a fake soldier or some kind of office worker? Is that it?? You're a f*cking barber or a truckdriver or something right? With lots of down-time to download extreme fight DVD's off mininova????

F*ck, the way things are going at home Common I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that THIS is your job. Yeah, pestering people on the internet. It's in the Pentagon budget big time. 'Merka's a wonderful place now thanks to you dickheads.
You guys EVER bombed a country that could actually fight back, or that evrybody else hadn't softened up for you while you Nazis were deciding which side to support in the war???
EVER????
Oh Yeah. Veetnahm. Right.

Sweet Jesus !
Japan. You held on to that dusty dick in Eye-rack thing for dear life though, right? Your ID. F*cked up just like the mansaid. I thought he was being a little harsh but he was right!
So, okay, let's see if I got this.
It's Japan but not for long, right?
Back to the States, right??
Well, then I guess it's codpiece time for shure, ain't it.
"Mission Accomplished"

For you I see a big welcome home job with Homeland Security until that book/movie deal/option thingy cash-cow comes through.

Just a reminder, though.
Cut back on that alcohol and re-balance your meds before your big turkey dinner.
I know whereof I speak Common 'cause I had mine a little early this year.

Yep, as you are just beginning to realize, just over the past few days, I f*cking destroyed a massive turkey. (I'd heard they were dumb birds but geez this one had no idea he was even on the spit.)

Of course, after excess consumption of protein, there is the inevitable turd that just won't flush.

That'd be you, Common?

Anonymous says:

This "oyster" even cold, is definitely one of the choicer parts of that turkey:

To wit:

"or me speculating what would likely have happened in the "Real World"

Butchoo of course didn't make anything up, of course, now didja, Common.
Oh no, not you.
Bye the bye Common, just as a matter of interest, have you ever been cross- examined, you know, by a good lawyer?
Not some storefront legal aid twat; but a real live logician/semanticist/legal expert?
Because if you have, you surely know that it's about now that the judge says. O-kaaaay Mr. Sense. I'm just gonna stop you right there. You're in enough trouble here and we don't need to waste the court's time getting you into more trouble here, now do we.
Good luck in the movies but yeah, sorry.
That's it. . . . .
Flushy flushy

Mork says:

Have any of you guys seen this?

http://thailandsdirtysecret.blogspot.com/

I think I got the answer.

Pants Elk says:

Fuck me! (rhetorical, "Common Sense", don't get excited) - this looks very creepy and sinister indeed. I have no idea. Smog masks, powder, something poisonous in the jungle - a dirty secret - radioactive? I wish I hadn't seen this just before going to bed.
What's your answer, Mark?

Common Sense says:

Prufrock,
My aren't you on a high horse today. So much so that you are afraid to even post under your own name so as not to appear bipolar yet again. Who has the identity crisis here?

If you weren't so lazy to read back a few posts you would know almost everything about me. No I don't pretend to be something I'm not, where I am and what I do is common knowledge around here. Since your lazy and there are other newbie’s around here I'll spell it out for you once more. I'm a Marine, live in Japan, have spent 19 months in Iraq(the war has been going on for 3 1/2 years), and no I aint a desk jockey. I do spend entirely to much time in my office as though after 7 years I'm no longer a lowly private and actually have administrative and planning responsibilities. My primary job though is with explosives, landmines, and construction. I do happen to also be an instructor in the Marine Corps Martial Arts Program(google it, it does exist). Hence me having the technical expertise to call bullshit on the details of your story. No I'm not some Jackie Chan badass, but I am well enough versed in the subject to know bullshit when I see it.

I think it is you who has the reading comprehension problem. My original post which said "I haven't seen girls with such bruised and battered inner thighs since tearing through a Mexican mamasita AFTER a year in Iraq collecting dust on my tool." That's what you would call PAST TENSE. Meaning it's in the past. While were on the subject of your comprehension problem, lets examine your attention for detail also. If you would pay attention you would notice I haven't posted any jive assed Merkin bullshit here. Go on scroll up and look for yourself. Go on. Go on.

Oh yeah i forgot your to lazy to read back anywhere. Since you won’t do it I'll explain. The Europeans started with the jive assed Merkin bashing shit on a misguided rant about these phantom postings of mine "praising U.S. policy". These posts simply do not exist.

Now back to the subject of the fight.

Oh no I didn't forget about it even though you tried to change the subject in hopes that I would wonder off topic defending myself. Typical female shit if you ask me.

I'll give you a chance to clear your name. Describe to me the position and technique that your French/Canadian/Belgian shotokun samurai ninja master used to arm bar this man and break his arm from the standing position. I will know if it's bullshit or not. Now lets here it. I highly doubt you can defend your story based on facts and will once again resort to changing the subject, personal attacks, or some other irrelevant pretext.

Liu Bei says:

prufrock: "You guys EVER bombed a country that could actually fight back, or that evrybody else hadn't softened up for you while you Nazis were deciding which side to support in the war???
EVER???? "

That'd be Japan, unless you count surrendering in droves in Singapore etc. as softening them up. Lulling them into overconfidence, perhaps?

---Liu Bei, merkin salesman.

Dicer says:

Dirty Berty -

It seems to me that Queens Castle II has over looked a potential gold mine in its knicker bin. They could buy in the panties cheap at Pratunam, get the girls to wear them during the evening and then flog them off at say 100bt a pair. I'd certainly buy a few!

Bob -

yes you are all right ,there is a multi million dollar international business in soiled panties going begging for some entrepreneur to start up.
maybe Keith Summers can do it ....

Good idea, but in Thailand?

The Japanese have mastered this trade and hence why there is a well recognised knickers exchange in Tokyo. Maybe they can franchise it out to Slimeland. Locals though won’t pick up on it as it requires a knack for harvesting fantasies.... or perhaps tapping on commercial possibilities. Rice tarts as we know do the basic "we make lab now mister," ordinary tennis-like ritual hamlet intercourse. Nothing new in this one might say. All societies have discovered in the sex lives of their people a great incentive for mercantile use. Nowhere has it been made more effective and turned into a well-run business, however, as it has in Japan and the amount of imagination employed is staggering: from the romance boxes that contain whisky, soap and a vibrator in any run of the mill love hotel to the CCTV recorder provided to relay your rococo bed performance to the tube and to the front-desk it is said where further profit might then be made. The Japanese have channeled all their frustrations, alienations and sexual repressions into a seething commercial mechanism that roars onto the scene with the latest gizmos and the most unlikely of scenarios depicted not only in voyeuristic mangas, but into say, video boxes that persuade a punter to handover cash for something that was hitherto free or perhaps love hotels arranged so that from parking your car to paying the bill no one actually sees you. Who said again that Jap society doesn't adapt and change... in fact, as is its wont, it lets schoolgirls tap into the H-baito (pervy part time work as they call it) requiring each enterprising tartlet to only release a fresh and unhealthy quantity of colourful leucorrhea on her knickers. When soiled underpants became the rage in Tokyo the Education Ministry put a stop to it by claiming that it broke the Antique Dealings Act. And dirty panties stores were closed. But mercantile enterprise usually thrives on adversity.

Now we can look at Japanese know-how and healthy business sense in discovering an apparently yet unrealised fantasy sex market and become envious. If there was ever a place that was ripe for such expansion from village-tennis-sex to more adventurous fantasyland products it is LOS. But the willfully pretentious and prudishly stiff public attitude of "polite" bkk society not to mention unthinking ways of mutant busy bodies will forever prevent the locals from making much needed dough from the extracurricular activities of their rice tarts. Suggest to any tart, mamasan or businessman the commercial possibilities in soiled pants and they'll do the salty face sneer and probably say "mai sa'aat" or perhaps "farang baa ruu paaw." Selling mechanical sex is one thing...being creative in commerce is another.

Prufrock says:

Japan?? Naaaaaaw

Come on, Liu Bei.
You're an educated man.
I submit that since "the rest" of WWII's history has been de-classified for years, you are well aware of the backgrounders on that period.

The people of the United States of America, (a great nation) the UN (Sorry, but, a brave idea) and the EU (dunno?) should, together, take control of their corporate citizens and return to lead the West.

Not this way, Liu Bei, for God's sake,
please, not the way it's heading now.

respectfully,
Prufrock

No need to sell the US to me, I love it.
but like hordes of ordinary people absolutely everywhere, I just want it to re-invigorate its table manners.

James Baker and Colin Powell have table manners. You know what I'm on about here.

Road Natzi says:

Typical fucking Americans.

Everyone else @ the plaza is there to root and the yank wants to fight. Isnt he happy with his war criminal leader who busy bombing and trying to blow anything he can up.

Sad thing is, when the yanks or the poms want to fight and do it right, they call in the Aussies, the best military in the world.

Piss off back to the states and clear the way, theres bar girls in the plaza that need lovin, you jerks can head back for your usual wank, god knows ur good at it.

The only decent president of the united states was that 'Billy' guy, who cruised the white house looking for ugly white sluts to suck on his cock, whilst he saved for his next ticket to thailand.

GOD BLOW UP AMERICA and stop the yanks from comming to thailand

Mork says:

Pants Elk, it's one of them you just don't talk about. The blog gives enough away if you read it carefully.

Pants Elk says:

Road Natzi, I hope "Common Sense" is sending you money for the favour you're doing him. Compared to you, the guy's Marcel Fucking Proust. Even boomer has more charm than you. Really, you are the stupidest person to post here, and as such a useful datum for the rest of us. Keep it up!

Common Sense says:

Prufrock,
I'm still waiting for this description of how the arm bar was applied. You've showed your ass enough around here, a little more won't hurt.

Saeb says:

Road Natzi -
Wrong, wrong, wrong; They send the Scots squaddies off to earn the VC's after the English and Yanks run away.
(Clock the totals.).
Sure the Aussies and Kiwis have done their bit - but look at the numbers in WW1 & 2 vis a vis the populations of Oz and NZ. (% wise).

No offence - o.k.?.

By the way, US chappies and Chappeses do consider one thing - in 10 years of buggering around in Vietnam you lost 58,000: In the first hour of the third battle of the Somme the allies (non US cos' you were not there then) lost over 60,000 dead and wounded.
By the end of the first day it was 58,000 confirmed dead + those who were vapourised.Or drowned in shell holes.

That went on for another year with the Germans and French suffering similar numbers.
US folks, do you ever, ever understand why it was called "The War to End All Wars" ?.

Vietnam : Yanks never read history books - you like to make it up as you go along.
The viets chased the Chinese out many times, they chased the French out, most of whose legionaires at that time were former ex Waffen SS troopers and not exactly soft.

Why?. They prefer to stay Vietnamese in history, culture and family.
They did not need some prick junior officer stating on television that they had to 'Destroy the village in order to save it".
Ohhh.....the sheer ignorance of US junior officers is breathtaking to see and I know I have worked with them.

Constructive thought is not taught in the US military.
Thank goodness for the Brit and French Paras - they call it 'airborne initiative' : i.e if it is friendly do not shoot it and give it, or ask it, for food. Make friends in other words.

Saves a lot of heart ache.

Having had some cases of the US military seemingly enjoying torturing Iraq people in prisons there - videos, pics etc, and the recent rape convictions of US squaddies raping unmarried Iraq women, do you ever, for one minute ever think that the US are going to win?.
Get real: The behaviour of the louts who are supposed to be an army is reprehensible.

Wow : Orwellian double speak - I note that Brain Dead Bush has adopted this in his moral crusade against Iraq.
We got to kill them so they get the American way of Democracy.

And this one of the oldest developed civilisations in the world -Iraq that is.
One last question: What does BDB think about the deliberate exremination of the native American Indians and the theft of their lands and will he give them back?.

What about his pals who are going to destroy the environment in Alaska and basically wipe out Inuit culture?.

Right, they can get jobs in 7-11.

I don't like mercenaries and I don't like keyboard fantasy warriors.

And, I don't like US foreign policy.
Do please read Winston Churchill's book,
"The Decision to Drop The Bomb".

Written 1948 and still in print I believe and where he states quite clearly that it was bugger all to do with shortening the war. It was to see if it worked on a captive population.

(Note the bombs were dropped in areas with high ground around as they thought the original blast area might be larger).

Rant for tonight finished - super mental ex super troopers who wish to employ James Bond methods for my demise, I am easy to recognise.
White, Scots, 6ft tall, brown hair.
(Non Glaswegian accent).

Don't forget the cream and tissues before bedtime after Mum has made your cocoa.

TANAI KWAI says:

Just a very general observation. There was a time when there were only one or two longwinded motherf'ers. Now there's a pandemic of literary Moctezuma's Revenge. And a dearth of editing.

These days, as the beneficiary of some hindsight, might I suggest that the length of a post is inversely related to the probability that it will be read. You people do want to be read, do you not?

A lot of contributors are deluded if they believe that these leviathans they are posting are being ingested and savored by a ravenous readership. Fact is, there are countless great steaming hunks of blubber left on the deck of the Mango whaler that rot unread every day.

And if you are going to post at length, consider reading at length as there is a fair chance it was said before -- if not on this or that thread on another.

“I have only made this letter longer because I have not had the time to make it shorter.” Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)

"I would have written a shorter letter, but I didn't have the time." Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter." T.S Eliot (1888-1965)"

bob says:

correct .levianathanic posts are skipped and go unread .suggest they try for the Booker prize ..keep it short guys

Drivespline says:

Hey Saeb,

Real name Galloway?

Common Sense says:

Tanai Kwai,
Point taken. I'll immediately begin flogging myself for picking up on of Dicer's least admired qualities.

Mork says:

ditto Tanai Kwai!

Bring in a maximum length per post rule.

Common Sense says:

Saeb,
Being slaughtered in droves is hardly an accomplishment worth bragging about. Maybe it is our philisophy on war that reduces our casualties.

"Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country."
General George S. Patton

Prufrock says:

(flushy)

Common Sense says:

I see the saving face aspect of Thai culture has rubbed of on you Pruf. When backed into a corner just ignore the problem. Seems to be what many here do.

Prufrock says:

Khun Tanai Kwai, krup
Re: your own post, “Shorter is better” would have done, then.
Agreed. But at what cost?

I, for one, however, unequivocally without reservation prefer your “director’s cut” version: Its polite, apologetic, lead set a benignly constructive tone. Its diction served to balance a witty, racy scatological jibe and underscored your thesis in a most entertaining fashion. Balance in this case warded off premature accusations of cliché and poor choice of allegory. Your point was made forcefully and with great humour.
Balance over brevity.
Anything else would have been beneath the engaging wit and charm of your participation at Mango Sauce’s splendid round table.

As one who, from the git-go has contributed immensely to the fabric of Mango Sauce you have every right and indeed are obliged to mention precisely that.
You needn’t have gone into detail and you wisely chose to let things speak for themselves. Brevity was your friend here. But your neat Melvillian image (some would have blue-penciled it . . . not I) was delightful as well. Thank you for including it even at the risk of tripping up your own well considered commentary regarding gassy posts.

Now, hopefully, I am not being too presumptuous when I consider myself among the overly-windy offenders for whom that last splendidly apt troika of quotes from Pascal, Eliot and Mark Twain, holds particular significance.
At this stage of your post, adherence to what I call “the rule of three” was indispensable. One quote alone would not have done. Your painstaking (I assume you had to Google) observance of “the rule of three” was a delight. I would lobby forcefully, against anyone who’d have argued for brevity in this case, notwithstanding the subject at hand.

“The medium being the massage.” as we used to say at “the Institute.”
But those media? Well, they are a-changin’ as well, I’m sure you’ll agree.

In future, when posting, your kind commentary indeed will be in the stylebook.

As a final note, and again aware that elements of presumptuousness and pomposity often trickle into even the most carefully edited of texts, I wish to state flatly and without irony or guile that I enjoy almost all I read on Mango Sauce. No, all of it.
In the Mango Sauce hopper, what fails on its own, benefits from “delightful synergy” .
Some of it is successful. Some falls flat. Folks are by and large literate and polite.

There are dunderheads among us who type away in the expectation of actually seeing their correspondents nod away in the affirmative upon being presented with “the facts”

I, on more than one occasion, have slipped into this trap.
To you and to anyone else I may have offended or even worse, bored, I apologize.

Repectfully

Prufrock

Prufrock says:

Tank's filling up nicely.
(great pressure even up here)
(flushy)

Road Natzi says:

Hey Pants Elk,

You might consider me stupid, thats your choice, but it would seem you have underestimated me as well.

You sit in your office, with your 6 coloured pens in your shirt pocket, your calculator in the other top pocket, your out of date semi-retro spectacles halfway down your nose and you think you are gods gift.

Let me, let you in on a little secret Elk, no matter how many big words you use or how correct your punctuation is, NO ONE WILL EVER REALLY LIKE YOU !!!

This country I live in and any other decent place in the world is built on the backs of people like me. Every day I dress in my uniform and go to war, I risk my life and follow orders from above to make the world a safer place for geeks like you.

Elk, why don't you get a life, head out and do something useful, there are thousands of ways to commit suicide, its all on the net, you know that place you spend your whole life cruising (besides the gay beats that you so often frequent).

Get a life Elk and have a go, your a man not a mouse (thats not the thing in your right hand either).

Ohh and if your ever in Australia, look me up, I'd like to meet you face to face you little runt, ohh sorry I meant you silly cunt !!

hugs n kisses
ROAD NATZI

Road Natzi says:

Sorry All,

Just one other thing Elk, I obviously struck a nerve with you somehow. Either you have a fettish for smelly yankee twat or you too are the result of a pack rape. Its either one or the other, but Im guessin that you are the result of the pack rape, its just your case is different to most pack rapes where a child is born as a result.

You see everyone ELKs father was the rape victim and after he had his ugly ass penetrated by a dozen black gangsters, the ELK was conceived. Amazing really to think the ELK started as a little cum infested sloppy shit and developed into the nerd that he is today.

I only have one question for you elk, how did you find your way into a place as good as thailand???? Did you think it was the only way you were ever going to get laid????? Pity it didnt work out that way, have you thought about trying a blow up sex doll, or are you afraid that will run away too.

You poor simple fool.

Anyway, I should take pity on you really and wish you the seasons best !

Liu Bei says:

Prufrock: "I submit that since "the rest" of WWII's history has been de-classified for years, "

"The rest?" Do tell... Is this where the conspiracy theories fly in? Or are you referring to a certain general's comments that if the US were the losing side, he'd be a war criminal? Nonetheless bombs were dropped well before 1944 when the Japanese still had some fight in 'em.

As for Mr. Powell, he's a good man. Thus he HAD to go.

Liu Bei says:

Common Sense: " Saeb,
Being slaughtered in droves is hardly an accomplishment worth bragging about. Maybe it is our philisophy on war that reduces our casualties."

There are some unsubtleties here that are being missed (shockingly, given the astuteness usually on display at MS).

Firstly, yes, American military doctrine has a lot to do with reduced casualties. The (over)simplified version is pound the piss out of them with artillery and then walk in. Compare and contrast the Aussies who will creep up and slit their throats. In the Vietnam war the Aussies and Koreans were feared, with good reason. Which is more effective? Depends on the mission.

On the British side, massive casualties to certain commonwealth countries' units and not others is a simple and obvious matter of preferential treatment. They put you guys in the nasty spots.

The US has done its share of that, as well--if you doubt this, google "442nd Monte Cassino" for example. (And note also that these guys were off getting maimed while their wives were in concentration camps as alleged national security threats.)

As to the prototypical US-driven quagmire, the Vietnam war--I know I'm oversimplifying but was choosing to back the Catholics in Vietnam.. IN VIETNAM a genius plan or what?

IHTFP 04 says:

Saeb,

Yeah, momma might have dropped me on the head... still, few things are more satisfying than seeing the melon of a common thug who has killed schoolchildren and pregnant women for a living blow up under a few dozen or so 7.62mm rounds (and ergo having the local children thank you for re-opening their soccerfield.)

Prufrock,

Your story is just a wee bit too poetic... France vs. Texas? "Fucking 'Go time?,'" "Sabat" kick?

Christ, why are you wasting your time here? Why aren't you in Hollywood?

Jean Pierre says:

Allo, allo,

I am Jean- Pierre, I am skinny ass Frenchman from France. I was near de Therma a few weeks ago with my boyfriend Jean-Claude when I got my ass kicked.

I told them “be careful I am French Legion Etranger poofta battalion”. But my ass it was kicked.

Fuck. I am so sad.

Captain Custard says:

Prufork – Aussies best military in the world???

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU KIDDING?????

I was an officer in the British army, and I AM an Officer in the Australian Army.

No comparison. Utter BOLLOCKS!

Captain Custard

Captain Custard says:

Prufork:

You can JOIN the Australian Army at 53!!! You can be a grey haired retiree from some public service office and join up, then serve to 60…

You can be obese. Horribly fucking obese. They now take fat gutbuckets.

You can be a druggie. Sponge like brain? Step right up, just try not to fall over on parade and hurt yourself.

Asthma? No fucking problem, bring your oxygen tank with you.

Not the full quid? No fucking problem. No one will notice.

Criminal record? No fucking problem, fit right in. We just charged a Sergeant for selling anti tank missiles to a fuckin Arab.

Why – well no one is joining up. My Company is 6 men (seriously) and one of them is off sick most days. It should be 120 men. We need 8000 new soldiers a year, and we get 3000.

Mate, I know this army pretty well cos I lead part of it. We couldn’t stop a girl guide troop in open country.

PS – I am thinking of leaving…

Captain Custard

Prufrock says:

Custard

And you're, um, telling ME all this for what reason, exactly ???

Prufrock

Saeb says:

Now, now - did I say that being slaughtered is an....etc..etc.

For goodness sakes do please check your Ladybird Book of Early Learning Reading.
Did I not mention the "War To End All Wars" ?.
Tsk, tsk.
Anyway - do tell please - how many Brit,French or Oz squaddies have been prosececuted for the random murders and rapes of Iraq civilians?.

Errrmmm ......Zero.
US figures please?. No pending but already convicted?.
Thanks.
Check some available info.
The least professional military on the planet deciding Baa Heid Bush's doctrine.
Scary -eh?.
The ignorant led by the insane.

Common Sense: " Saeb,
Being slaughtered in droves is hardly an accomplishment worth bragging about. Maybe it is our philisophy on war that reduces our casualties

Prufrock says:

Liu Bei

Well, yeah, ok ok, yeah, Japan.
I was forgetting those few pokes at Japan. And that WAS complex. Not any more clear cut than the America First stuff in the West.
Those horrendous Pacific Theatre land and sea campaigns once the war got rolling and the poor folks that got killed in them were not under discussion. But you got the point.
You know what my point was.
The issue was pre-emptive assaults.

Surely you're not suggesting that even with the release of volumes of unclassified material, anything contradicting the official Steve Spielbergian canon is out of line. You're not really saying that are you?
Private Ryan. Tom Hanks. Indianna Jones?

It's simply appalling when you examine the list of basket-case puppet regimes where the US installed or propped up slaughterhouse gangsters and Nazis to keep US corporate interests appeased. Multinationals with no national agenda but their own having been calling the plays for over a century.
Goooogen, Liu Bei.

Who is currently being kept happy by these corporate interests? You average American citizen?

Don't do "conspiracy theory, Liu Bei." It's just so, you know, "grassy knoll triangulation/magic bullet/multiple shooters" to use that old spluge.
. . . . . so 43 years ago.

You know as well as anyone what's currently available in the mainstream.
Stuff that was classified for 30 years. Why was it ever classified for more than 10?
If I can stomach "sexy" Ann and listen to "Pills" and Fox you can check out a few of those "hippy" archival de-classifications.

Looking into this declassified stuff is like picking a huge scab.

Hey, Whaterya reeedin nat fer, uuuuuh?

Dicer says:

Some of us can only take so much of comments and detail. If you concentrate long on any topic (that not many are interested in) they don't want to hear the detail. The oft repeated remark is to make a quick point and stop. And what happens when I want to go into detail. Does it really mean I want to be eagerly read? No. What it means is none of these individuals want to go into detail... detail is too complex for simplistic banter and detail adds credence to a growing point that is like pouring ammonia down a clogged drain. Being read is never the objective here. The diversity of comments and language is. One can read comments from certain characters in certain threads while skipping or skimming their stuff in others. Besides most of the stuff is easily forgettable. The best that can be achieved is a vague impression of a poster. So why length bothers them is beyond me. Precision and conciseness are not the hallmarks of this medium anyway. Even if they were, the anarchic style prevails over prescripted rules of writerly conduct. So says I, write as many words as you can. Write anything. And repeat yourself as often as you can. And in keeping with Thai tradition let us make as many digressions as possible.

...

Now I was going to end it right above...then I thought - yes I do that now and then...and I shockingly managed to use the pronoun "I" four times in one sentence - I thought, what is it that makes these individuals think length matters above all else.

TK's statement would have us anticipate a direction of a post, by studying the previous statements of those who have said what needs to be said, and began instinctively to withdraw into a less literal world where they might do work which a machine could not imitate. As they move to a more purer, private expression of their own and look down at the Road Natzis of MS - who can blame them - we rest assured that they only come out rarely from their cloistered avocation at demanding moments of truth, to make pronouncements that ought not, according to the writer at least, be taken lightly. For the present, however, let me remind ye that you are not alone in the violence, the bar fight lores, the lengthy ripostes...to redress the balance you can write as much as you want, like I'm doing here and in that act you can touch and be touched, and for but a moment forget your fate. Isn’t that a relief at least for one? But remember, the scale of things here is very very small so not much is altered.

This does not mean to say that those who have altogether rejected authority (some here), parted with their cousin-german the superior wordsmith, should scoff at all type of scripture-like rulebook they believe muffles their overzealous desire to share their awareness of life's minutiae to us to antiseptic ends.

The sentiment of a concise literary heaven although a perennial state of mind in search of a cheerful yet stern conception of life in fewer words is nothing, but a sentiment as literary heavens go, if only because the literary heaven is as various as there are men in mangosauce who dream of it and just as many are the scriveners to evoke that dream in as many words as they wish.

Pants Elk says:

I only read my own comments anyway. I'm reading this one right now.

Liu Bei says:

Prufrock, you missed the boat, the ocean and most likely the planet.

Feel free to rant on about all this 'insider knowledge' you claim to be aware of, and attribute any Speilbergian notions you want to me. If putting words in my mouth helps you on your ham-handed rants, knock yourself out.

And yes of course you have my permission to make any assumption you want about my political leanings--after all, you will anyway, I might as well consent.

By "conspiracy theory" I was specifically inquiring as to whether you were one of the dipshits claiming Roosevelt knew of and allowed the Pearl Harbor attack to further US ambitions in the Pacific. That you can attribute all these other values to me based on a couple of posts (which had a couple of asides that didn't fit in with the value system you've assigned me, btw) is worse than appalling--it's tedious.

Rant on, I'll add you to the skip list. Road Natzi is more entertaining. As for whether anyone's entertained by my posts, or even reads 'em? Don't care. I'm only here coz if i spend too long on playstation I get cramps in my fingers.

Prufrock says:

Dicer. I, for one, enjoy your posts.
I just wish you'd write more clearly.
Structure (shorter paragraphing), attribution to antecedent, and punctuation are the larger stumbling blocks to their quick efficient comprehension.

We all slip up.
But some effort in regards to at least some of these basic literary conventions would be a courtesy to those who wish to access your insights and information.

Or is just seeing them up here enough for you? That would be unfair to us who enjoy them.

Regards

Prufrock

Common Sense says:

Saeb,
Just how many Brit, French, and Oz soldiers are in Iraq.

Brit 6,000
French 0
Oz 1,000
U.S. 146,000.

Unfortunately were not robots, when you recruit from society, you sometimes get societies ills. But the 2 rapes out of the nearly million U.S. soldiers that have served in Iraq pales in comparison to the national per capita number of rapes per-100,000 citizens of any country. Don't try to skew statistics in your favor jackass. As far as innocents killed, it happens, although seldomly intentional. Don't buy into the propoganda. Put on some boots, pick up a gun and go see for yourself, I have and I say bullshit. Can you tell me what the insurgents uniform looks like?

Pruf,
I would dare to say 'conspiracy theorist' sums up your rationale pretty well. That and you seem to have a lot of estrogen. Still waiting to hear about that armbar. Chicken shit.

Prufrock says:

Saeb
Either he's one of these Neo-con astro-turfers (GOP "talking-points" and all) or this poor chap actually doesn't read very well.
When he does and he happens to find facts in your post which are "biased" to his training/or his pre-conceived notions or standard 'Merkin shibboleth or whatever passed for his education and upbringing Common simply re-frames/re-writes them and spouts on from there.

Sadly, thanks to 'Merkin "squawk radio" this brand of ersatz reasoning is what currently passes for debate in his world.

Jean Pierre says:

Allo,

you must stop staring me now. Or i kick off sandals and get angry.

Pleeze not hit me again pleeze.