Bangkok newbie gets stuck in

Pants Elk says:

It's the other way around (as one imagines it tends to be in this demographic) - girly-men are hot for the scrotum-jowled geriatric child-fancier because they think he's a porn star ("Woody" as in hard-on). Latex "Woody" masks, worn by afficionados, have, I'm told, the effect of a cattle-prod swizzle-stick in the confused hormonal cocktail that courses through their bloodstream.
No, you're right, I have no idea. But what was your friend doing in a titboy club anyway?

Sidney Silverman says:

As Woody Allen's legal councel I demand that you remove my client's image from your site before he is lumped in with sex tourists and whoremongers.

[Shouldn't that be legal counsel? - David]

Common Sense says:

You should have demonstrated to them the occupational hazards of half naked mechanical bullriding at Carnival in Nana. I haven't seen girls with such bruised and battered inner thighs since tearing through a Mexican mamasita after a year in Iraq collecting dust on my tool.

Pants Elk says:

"Common Sense", I bet the problem you have with women is nothing compared to the problem they have with you ...

Common Sense says:

Ahhhh!!! More thought provoking insight from the flaccid cunt with a chip on his shoulder. I bet you stole that line from Dr. Phil you unimaginative twit.

Pants Elk says:

Hah ha! You walked right into that one, "Common Sense"!

I wus KIDDING, ya big lug!
(gives "Common Sense" a manly punch on upper arm)
Lighten up, will ya! We're PALS! BUDDIES! What's that? Sure I like you really! Hey ... you're crying ... gee, I'm sorry ... here, take this handkerchief ... big blow! and again! There ... that better? No, you can keep it ...

Dude says:

Could you veterans please help me out with a curious question of mine: Do the girls in the bars (go go bars or the other bars) REALLY get checked for STD's every month (3 months)?

Common Sense says:

Awwww u got me on that one. Your absolutely right, I did walk right into another lame response from a grown man stuck with the maturity of a 3 year old. You clever guy you.

You remind me of the slow kid in school that always tried to pull pranks, but never realized the other kids were laughing at him and not with him. Similar to Forrest Gump, only dumber. Don't worry though, I'm sure one of these days you will find a place in society with others just as "special" as you.

I do recall seeing an article in here about a deaf mute hooker with a social disorder. Sounds like a match made in heaven to me. You rambling on like an idiot thinking your so clever while she can understand nothing you say. Her blank stares come off to you as aknowledgement of your superiority. She could care less what your saying as long as the money is there when she grunts for it. Both of your needs are fed and you live happily ever after. (Assuming she doesn't learn to lip read, in which case she will likely cut your tongue out.)THE END

Prufrock says:

Common Sense

I have no dog to grind in this fight but you do much damage to your effectiveness as an internet cage fighter when you mix your metaphors; as per your heartfelt and sincere;

"More thought provoking insight from the 'flaccid cunt' with a chip on his shoulder." (note the single quotes)

"Flaccid" usually applies to penises and the shaky logical paradigms found in Dean Barrett's insane barrel-rolls into hate-mongering racism i.e. where in the absence of fact and reason the "writer" dramatises his flawed argument in order to conceal its puerility.
(Goodness gracious! Is that a word? - Could have used flaccidity there but ..... Oh heck, you know what I mean :-).

Any number of sensory descriptives i.e. steaming, putid or horse-collar-ish can be applied to the already approbriative "cunt." Which although fast becoming an over-used chestnut is resonant, appropriate, and effective enough all on its own.

These awkward misappropriations combined with spelling and grammar errors weaken the thrust of one's counter attack. And there's the harm.

I have a personal preference for spelling errors.
Most people fail to notice them, don't care about them or admire the whole "je ne sais quois" thing of the writer not having been being arsed enough to look stuff up.
Those for whom spelling *is* a real issue are usually just too stupid to follow any argument other than the flaccid "He tried to kill my Daddy" stuff.
Happy as clams among your spelling mistakes these pea-brains can busy themselves reminding "the choir" of the weakness of your position and then go off to murder 600,000 innocent people for f*ck- all reason that I or the Baker/Hamilton Commission can see.

Hope this has helped.

J. Alfred Prufock

Dicer says:

Funny. Imagine taking Borat across town to the massage places for sexy time.

They may look like Woody Allen, but if these dawdling geriatrics had a fraction of his wit or intelligence then maybe they could have scored a few of the many lookers he's managed to do over the years.

Here is Woody Allen's signature wit in Play it Again, Sam...about the character's (Allan) first divorce.

Why should a divorce bother me so? Maybe I'm better off without her. Why not? I'm young, healthy, got a good job. This could be my chance to step out a little bit. If she can swing, so can I. I could turn this place into a nightclub. Get broads here
like you wouldn't believe. Swingers, freaks, nymphomaniacs, dental hygienists. If she didn't want me I won't push myself on her. I couldn't believe what she said when she left: "I want a new life. I want to go skiing, go dancing, go to the beach, ride through Europe on a motorcycle. All we ever do is see movies." - I write for a film magazine. Besides, I happen to like movies. "That's because you're one of life's great watchers. I'm a doer. I want to participate. We never laugh together." How can you say that? I'm constantly laughing. I chuckle, I giggle, I guffaw. Why didn't this come up when we were dating? "You were more aggressive then." Everybody is during courtship. It's natural. You can't expect me to keep up that level of charm, I'd have a heart attack. "Goodbye, Allan. My lawyer will call your lawyer." I don't have a lawyer. Have him call my doctor......

and then somewhere else he says:

If all else fails I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.

Dicer says:

While we're at it

http://nymag.com/guides/summer/17409/

which goes to show that he's still on top form .... and this comparison of him with the Waldos is amusing... can you imagine... Waldo wants to be like Woody Allen in trying to impress his latest rice tart with slapstick, eating noodle with his fingers and there is rice tart dribbling in fits of laughter....naaah.

Saeb says:

Don't you find that forums in Thailand these days are just stuffed with rednecks doing 'Thar thang' in Iraq or Afghanistan?.

Jeez, what boring people: Listen guys, you are doing it for the money?. Right?.
It's not like you were conscripted and got out of the Somme or Stalingrad.

I think someone should open a "Super Hero in the 'Stan / Iraq' forum so these guys can have mutual wanks and share later episodes of PTSD together whilst ignoring the money they made as mercenary armies of occupation.
Mercenaries are the lowest form of life possible.
I speak as an ex Mil person.

Have a nice day, don't forget the tissues and the cream.

bob says:

all BGs briefs are stained yellow with piss stains where they never get washed from 1 year to the next. they shove them in their bag till the next night and pull them on again.

satyr says:

Vertigo at the Banyan Tree is well named. I went with a friend but could not stay for that very reason. I was OK (sort of) until we went and sat at the narrow area leading to the bar. We were looking straight out and virutally straight down... fuh-reaky!

Common Sense says:

Prufrock,
I appreciate your suggestions on spelling although I make rather few spelling errors. The ones I do make are typically typos or the result of drunkenness. I'm guessing your British by your use of the word arse so I thought I would bring it to your attention that British and Americans often spell words a little differently. I used to think David made many errors in his articles until this dawned on me. So perhaps some of the errors you see are the result of different vocabulary.

Saeb,
I appreciate your hippie non-sense as it shows you have no idea what the fuck you are talking about, and saves me the trouble of arguing against it. I will point out a few of your misgivings though.

First off, I am not a mercenary, I am a Marine who volunteered to serve and defend his country. The pay is not enough to be a motivating factor as I could get out and work in Iraq for Blackwater as a true mercenary making 5 times as much. These people are motivated by money, not a sense of duty, which would qualify them as mercenaries. Every country must maintain a military to defend itself (except the French who just need someone to surrender). If it were not for volunteers, there would still be conscripts to this day in America. As soldiers, we do not make policy or decide where we go to war. Soldiers simply follow orders and do not question them. If we do begin to question them and revolt, then my/your country would be no different from Thailand or Fiji. You cannot have a true democracy when the military steps in and throws a coup every time someone doesn't like the current policy.

It is up to the people who elect the government and those elected officials to raise those questions about who, when, where, and why we fight. I just go where I'm told and shoot who I'm told to shoot. If I don't like it then I have the choice to get out at the end of my contract (which I am doing in 2 months although for other reasons). My other option is to VOTE. That is how democracy works my friend.

One last thing before I retire for the night.

"Mercenaries are the lowest form of life possible.
I speak as an ex Mil person"

That statement carries about as much weight as me saying-

"People who have sex are the lowest forms of life possible.
I speak as someone who has had sex."

Think before you speak. Just because you have filled the shoes before doesn't mean you word is "Gods Word".

Now enough of the political shit before this gets out of hand. Lets get back to admiring those nice boxes we all love so much.

The Gimp says:

Stupid pommy wankers, why don't you get a life.

FyaPonDem! says:

bob,

you're right about those skanky briefs, but worse is that 'rash' most of them have leading from their box/backdoor onto their butt cheeks. it's yeast infection, mmm-mmmm. gee, wonder how they got that? yeah, let's all go pay to shag skanks that sleep with different dirtbags every night! whoo-hooo! not.

Bandersnatch says:

Yes, Prufock, puerility is a word (and perhaps more apropos here than you realize).
"Approbriative", however, is not. (Nevertheless, when combined with the word cunt, it does capture my imagination, inasmuch as I'm always interested in trying out exotic new varieties.)

A "putid" cunt? Hmmm ... Could that mean having an insidious Vladimir Putin-like quality, such that a few days after a satisfying and seemingly harmless poke, you find your member radioactive and rotting away due to the deleterious effects of polonium poisoning?

Attacked any counters lately? Or did you mean counterattack?

Oh, and you really should learn how to use semicolons correctly before attempting to gimble other people's writing skills and galumphing off into the cyber-sunset.

Such awkward blunders considerably dull what was apparently intended to be a vorpal posting, and do much to augment your effectiveness as an internet cage liner.

Prufrock says:

Don’t know if this’ll help but here goes.
Bangkok, June wk2 or 3 close to Sukhumvit’s Thermae about 1:30 - 2:00 am

Hugely built 115 kg? American “hard-ass” . . . . . big-time NON- surrender monkey for sure. Very tough looking fucker. He gets into it with a French guy about the same height but by his appearance better suited to a couple sets of tennis than a street fight.

There’s some yelling. It’s about Iraq and “’Amerika’s’ responsibility” Keeping the world safe from terrorists. Blah Blah Blah

Frenchman gets called a fag/pussy. Ignores it. Says he doesn’t want to fight.
“Look. I don’t know what is your problem with me but I do not want to fight you.”

A crowd starts to gather.
Amerikan gives him a two-handed shove and Frenchmen kind of stiffens and hops backward, recovers his balance, glances over at his buddy and shrugs.

Things get interesting when the Frenchman slips out his sandals kicks them over to his buddy.
Amerikan blinks.
Frenchman hops forward and raises his arms and deflects the ‘Merkin’s first couple of brutally heavy punches. “This ‘Merkin was a seriously tough looking bastard.

Frenchman steps further back after two or three more of these blocks, lowers the arms slightly, raises his eyebrows. Asks the Amerikan if he’s “sure about this”.

This fucking ‘Merkin screams “Sure? Sure? I’ll show you fuckin’ Sure motherfucker
IT’S fuckin GO TIME. . . MOTHERFUCKER. . .fuckin GO TIME>
(He actually says this).

Frenchman started with a barefoot “sabat” stab-kick direct to the ‘Merkin’s solar plexus.
The he got in a crippling snap-kick to the outside of the ‘Merkin’s right knee. The ‘Merkin partially deflects the Frenchman’s hard open handed killing jab straight to his throat. But the Frenchman gets a piece of him there because there’s an instant welt.
The ‘Merkin gets in close for some gouging and grappling. There was maybe even some biting. Hard to tell.
‘Merkin grope and grapples around to pick him up for a slam of some kind. Can’t do it.
Frenchman stays on his feet and then gets in solid elbow smash straight into the guys face. Frenchman then hammers the guy’s ribs with seven or eight short sharp punches. Finishes up the close stuff with a two handed head grab and two wicked head-butts. Second one opened the piñata. Blood everywhere.

‘Merkin, dazed and staggering is stupid enough to take another swing with his right.
Frenchman steps in; arm bars him and then breaks it .
The he steps to the side and round-house kicks him once more to the solar plexus.
‘Merkin barely conscious drops to one knee but turns his body towards the Frenchman.
Frenchmen jumps up and concusses him with an elbow smash to the top of his head.
‘Merkin falls to the broken arm side.
Looks mighty painful.

Fight over.

French guy’s shaking like a leaf. Flip-flips go back on.
Buddy tends to the Frenchman’s minor cuts and swellings.
They walk away talking animatedly to one another.

‘Merkin gets some ice laid on him by his girlfriend and her friends.
He comes around when they ice his face, sees the crowd, yells for more ice.

Less than 8 minutes?

IHTFP 04 says:

Saeb,

Some do it for the money; I do it for fun.

Johnny Tokyo says:

"Now enough of the political shit before this gets out of hand." from Common

So, after all your gassing off about how 'Merka works as a democracy this is actually how you feel, isn't it.
This is what you really believe. . . . . and why you really serve. Robust criticism and facts that contradict your fantasy are inadmissible. Discussion over.

Hey Common, you serve 'cause you got suckered in, or 'cause you needed a job or 'cause you were without any other options. You can't fool anyone with this other identity you've concocted for yourself.

You accepted "US Marine" as your new identity because you were bored with your own.
Or you didn't have one.
None that you could live with anyway.

And after 9/11 your above quote is more or less what your moronic national leaders dictated to Merka's drooling masses to herd them into this f*cking slaughterhouse in the first place.
And you-all bought it.
Every lie. (WMD etc.)
Every pitch to fear. (Islamo-fascism)
Every bullshit pronouncement. (Good & Evil)
Bought 'em all.

Remember that Iraqi media shill "Comical Ali" ?
Everybody used to laugh at him?
Used to go on about how you guys were marching into the jaws of a trap?
Everyone laughed at him as he went on about an impending bloodbath?
Well your "elected" . . (now there's a f*cking laugh all on it's own). . . fools were so addled on "oal" and too stupid and ill-informed concerning the realities in play you didn't really bother to listen to the guy Bush called "my man Ali".
Nobody's laughing about Iraq now.
See Common, Comical Ali wasn't talking about "right now" the way a Big Mac is "right now" he was predicting the very horror show you're into today. . . kinda like a guy predicting a good wine five years down the road.
But instead of listening, Merka went for the cheap laugh.
Who's laughing now?

It was better with Saddam: The Baker/ Hamilton report said it in so many words. Diplomacy gets that "oal" flowing.

And your people still f*cking up.
And you're STILL blaming everyone who criticises you. So here's what you're defending; a f*cked up identity as a "warrior" for a f*cked up country, against dedicated insurgents who are picking you off "though the trees" the way American irregulars used to pick off Redcoat British regulars in AWI.

And you're STILL eating any bullshit Bush serves up. You wanna get beyond this?
Learn to think for yourself.
Common Sense. Keep your head down and survive this war. Get back home to the US learn a trade and get a life.

And don't worry. Only one heart attack away from the Upper House, as I write, Bush is taking his Senate back Putin-style.
There's your f*cking democracy.
Grow up.

Dana says:

Attn: Mr. Prufrok and regarding the 'fight' submission--

And now a thought that would not occur to you unless you were very short like me. For my entire life I have been at risk everytime I have left the house because there is always a bully or a fool who wants to show off to his friends or his girlfriend by beating up a little guy. Not once have I met one of these knuckleheads who wants to fight in his weight class. Now that this guy has been humiliated in public we can add him to the list of guys who are waiting for me. Great.

Prufrock says:

Bandarbush, sir:
Actually, yes, approbriative (a word I made up) is simply wrong here. But it works in that it's big and Latin and in this particular case needn't have meant anything. Just had to look good. Deloghted to see it caught your eye.

Surprised you missed "cunt" though. (Probably a "forest for the trees" thing, right?)
I'm sure you know, "Cunt" being one word would not, strictly speaking, be a true chestnut, would it.
(No ?'s in rhetoricals is *my* rule.)
"Never trust a bargirl" is sort of a chestnut. "You're either with us or you're with the terrorists." Or "Imtiaz Mugbil is a Muslim fanatic." are much better chestnuts.
So that "cunt thing" was wrong as well.

I'm just not a very good hack.
Once again . . . Dean Borret's domain fer f*ckin' shure. (Where does he get all that angst?)
As for "putid"? Got me there again. Yup. Spelling mistake. And you know what they say about those spelling mistakes.
Semi-colon; well this depends on your style book, n'est-ce pas? Lotta flex here.
But this instance *was* an inexcusable typo. I was drunk. I don't proof when I'm drunk. It's like handing a dick pill to a katoey. Not that me or any of my friends would do that though. But getting a katoey to take Cialis and shag a hot bargirl is the stuff of Dana's work. Surprised he's not done that.

Re; vorpal posting. Hmmmmm you have a thesaurus at your fingertips don't you, you little dickens ;-)
Should dickens be capitalized ;-?

Decent return.

J. Alfred Prufrock

tracy says:

Was the French guy Van Damme?

Pants Elk says:

Great story, Prufrock. I live in France, and while I'm not particularly pro-French (nor any other nation), I do get tired of the standard American stereotyping of the French as a bunch of cheese-eating surrender monkeys (great as that Homer quote is). Yes, nations fail from time to time. If you're an American, just be thankful you've never had the tanks roll across the border from a hostile and superior military force. What did the US have to worry about - Canada? Mexico?
French boxing is like Thai, isn't it? (I'm no expert). I wonder if that French guy was a professional?

Drivespline says:

Wow, Prucorp

Sounds just like a script for a movie; or the dreams of the typical "martial artiste". I studied kung fu for about five years. I've been around alot of bouts and street fights (well, not that many street fights, but enough to know BS) I bounced in a bar. I remember one fight, inparticular, which was similar to the one you describe.

Picture one black belt and my 5'8", 155 pound friend Dave. Black belt menacingly removed his shoes. I'll never forget the amount of blood coming from said black belt's face, or the sound his head made when it hit the concrete.

I know enough about martial arts to know that fighting in a contolled bout has NO RELATION to a real fight. 99% percent of Black Belts know just enough about fighting to get themselves in a lot of trouble.

Really now, pru. Would you remove your shoes to kick someone? Care to break your foot? A head weighs qbout 14 pounds and is prety hard. Your going to "elbow slam" the top of someones head with your unprotected elbow? Cheif Jay Strongbow made that famous, you know.

You described a dance not a fight. Admit you invented that story and you'll feel much better.

If you do, I will tell you the story of the Battle of Hooker Hill in Itaewon, Soeul. Hookers, boiling soup as weaponry, tear gas, Korean riot police by the busload, me smacked in the head with a pole, 2 dead Koreans, one dead GI, and the bars and BG's back in business in about 1/2 hour.

Is the elegant Frenchman your alter ego?

Dirty Berty says:

It seems to me that Queens Castle II has over looked a potential gold mine in it's knicker bin. They could buy in the panties cheap at Pratunam, get the girls to wear them during the evening and then flog them off at say 100bt a pair. I'd certainly buy a few!

sunglasses ron says:

jesus, that common sense wankah goes on eh?

shat it. yer pie hole.

fakkin liberty

Merkin says:

Well yeah hard fighting is never going to beat some sort of akido shite.
Just keep this in mind when you're at a nice cozy titty bar somewhere in the friendly confines of Thailand. America's worst foreign diplomacy (Vietnam War) is the reason why the go go bar scene got so large. And seriously that's the only reason why most men go to Thailand.
Oh yes only 2 more months and I'll be back.

Jim Anchower says:

Y'know, I'm from the States and there is a certain quantifiable amount of enjoyment I derive from reading posts from people like Common Sense despite the damage it does to the rest of us. Yes, we're pretty much all here for the same reason.... But damn, dude, don't make the rest of us sound like the jar-head dip-shit you are! The only thing you could defend us from is a mild case of the clap and that only because the girls most likely to be carriers would be most attracted to your patriotic chest pounding.

Two other things...and excuse me, I didn't pay attention in grammar class....

When you say 'your', that denotes possesion...as in 'your unfounded patriotism is matched only by your insipid commentary'. I believe in most of your recent posts you have actually meant to type 'you're' as in 'you're the stereotypical American jackass that the rest of the world has a good laugh about'.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

And the other thing...by joining the military voluntarily, does that mean that you are relieved of blame from participating in one of the greatest fuck-ups of all time just because you were 'following orders'?

Go get'em tiger!

Pants Elk says:

There's a buncha grunts here layin' into mah buddy "Common Sense" an' I jes want yew to know that when you aim a blow at him you aim a blow at democruh-see and you strike a blow fer Comm-yew-niz-um and I hope that makes yew feel good yah stupid buncha pinko fags!
WAY TO GO "COMMON SENSE"!!
(Fade up theme from "Stars And Stripes" etc)

Prufrock says:

Divespine?
Bangkok Fight Club. . . . Dominique
Akido, Tae kwan Do, Brazillian, Sabat, some boxing Muay Thai Bare foot English Boxing . . . It's a training center for "street"
Um, how will he, ah, know it's you?
I'm Prufrock. Too old to fight.
My alter ego? . . . . . . Johnny Tokyo.

And sure.
By all means.
Let's have that Korean yarn of yours. Um, yeah, bring it on, as they say ;-)
(um, unless you're wetDream Borritt, uh, then I definitely don't wanna see it.)

tracy
Nope but he's Belgian. Found out later.
(see above)

And Jim Anchower, sir? Booyah! You da man!!
(Rat 'longside khun David, here)

Rat own. And you get it down well too.
*Nice stuff. Good luck to you over there, fella.*

And Dana? Yeah, dude, you don't have to be small-bodied to know what this is all about. ;-)

Except for the BFC thing and Dominique, these are all just one man's opinions
(Didn'tcha usedta jess love dat oleaginous disclaimer thingy??)
Divespine . . . khun Dominique awaits . .

Common Sense says:

Dana,
I don’t think you have much to worry about as it fairly obvious Prufrock's story about the obnoxious American and the French ninja is the result of UFC fan with a vivid imagination. The story is full of more holes than a fully staffed brothel in Thermae. I could care less who won the drunken fight between two idiots, and there might even be a small element of truth to the story. By and large though it's bullshit. For starters how can his recollection of a fight 6 months ago be so vivid. Especially one that took place at 2 am when most people are drunk enough to have pissed away the memories of the night. This is also the first I've heard of a closed fist jab to the throat leaving a welt, maybe on a solid face it could happen but not the soft tissue of a throat. How he managed to see said welt on the Merkins throat in the dark with beer goggles I'll never know either. That's not to mention the crowd of people surrounding the fight. I'm sure no one ever blocked his view trying to get a better look, since this all happened in his mind of course.

Prufrock also has no idea of the amount of force it would take to break an arm with an arm bar from the standing position as he describes. Especially with men of those size. It's nearly impossible without going to the ground as it such an easy move to counter in the standing position. Only takes a little twist and the move is rendered ineffective. He also does not realize the top of the head is the hardest part, therefore one is unlikely to receive a concussion from a direct blow there. If the French ninja did use the point of his elbow it was likely broken. If he used his tricep, no damage done (to soft).

Then he would lead us to believe the French ninja casually walked off after this. Also not likely to happen as he would have wanted to get the hell out of there before police show up. Speaking of which, 8 minutes is an incredibly long fight by any measure. It's hard to believe the police never did arrive in such a popular nightspot as they are usually in no short supply in the area. I find it hard to believe no one would have stepped in after such a long time to break it up either. Oh well, ones imagination is often more exciting than the real world. I still think the French ninja got the worst of the deal after running around on the streets barefoot for such a long time the infection in his feet would probably require amputation.

Prufrock, you may have saw a French man get the best of an American before as there is no divine law that says a French man can’t kick an American’s ass. Admit it though; the details of this story though are blatant utter bullshit. Anyone who knows anything about fighting can clearly see that. Stick to correcting spelling and grammar, your bullshit is less obvious there.

Common Sense says:

Lets step back and take a look at how this whole conversation started. I make one reference to getting my dick wet after a year in Iraq, and was instantly branded a redneck, mercenary, low life, PTSD suffering wanker by the worlds foremost expert on Iraq. Of course person being Mr. Saeb, whose credentials are being an "ex mil person". I simply defended myself without leaving the context of his original post. I challenge any one of you to point out a fault in what I stated. Like it or not, that is how this little experiment called democracy and a volunteer military work.

I have not in this thread or any other expressed my personal opinion on Bush's policy, the Iraq war, or any other matter involving the War on Terror. I just stated facts relating to my personal situation and the law. None of you know my personal opinions on this matter, and as long as I wear a uniform you never will.

You chose to turn me into a whipping post because I defended my job. Well I'm proud of what I do and would not take back the last 7 years for anything. Can you say the same? I doubt it.

True America is not perfect and neither am I. Neither are any of you or your respective countries. I'll man up and admit it though. If you want to attack me, do it on the basis of what I have stated without taking the typical route of a feminist and bellowing out an emotionally charged response that wonders out of context.

Hell I doubt many of you would even be complaining if you thought the Iraq war would form a Pattaya somewhere in the middle east. Maybe thats why Saeb got in a huff about me saying I did not wet my dick over there for a year. He realized this war would not produce another adult disneyland for him to hunt ladyboys in.

Jim- To give you the simple answer to your question. YES

Pants Elk-Although I still think your a FLACCID CUNT, I promise to refrain from any further remarks about France being bailed out of 3 wars in the last century. After the "cheese-eating surrender monekys" comment, I owe you that much.

Now lets get back to everyones favorite past time and correct some grammar.

Bandersnatch says:

Mr Alf Frockedup,
" ... you have a thesaurus at your fingertips don't you ..."

Heavens, no. I thought they were extinct, and anyway, I'd hate to lose a finger to one.
No, I get "vorpal" from Jabberwocky. Whenever I fall through a linguistic looking-glass and find myself wading through wabes of made up words, I turn to Lewis Carroll to get my bearings.

Part of what makes Mangosauce so much fun is that it is such a Humpty Dumping ground of people using words to mean just what they choose them to mean, neither more nor less.
The mangled metaphors, fractured phrases, silly similes and malapriapisms tend to make for some very (unintentionally) entertaining reading.
So when I saw you nixing metaphors, and pointing out a note in someone's eye when there was a blog in your own, well, I just had to get in on the act.

"I'm sure you know, "Cunt" being one word would not, strictly speaking, be a true chestnut, would it."

Maybe not a true chestnut; I guess I assumed you meant a whore's chestnut.

"Should dickens be capitalized ;-?"

Well, since you've pegged me for a little dickens, I guess not. Dunno how you found out, though ... some loose-lipped (flaccid-cunted?) bargirl, I suppose.

"I'm just not a very good hack."

Don't be so hard on yourself. I think you can hack with the worst of them. A nice, cleansing semicolonic (if you can be arsed to do it) will see you in top form in no time. Then we'll just have to grim and Barrett.

And don't think I didn't notice the liberty you took with my name, you sly dog, changing the e to a. Probably thought I wouldn't know that 'Bandar' is Hindi for monkey, didn't you. "Bandarbush." So it's 'monkey cunt', is it? And then the sly subterfuge of appending sir to it, thinking I'd fall for the faux respectfulness.

No, Profruck, you are a hack to be wreckoned with, make no misteak.

Dana says:

"Finishes up the close stuff with a two handed head grab and two wicked head-butts . . ."

More on this fight story Mr. Prufrock. A friend of mine reminded me that in the military all military police are trained to never hit someone on the head because some heads are more fragile than others. Some heads can crack like an egg.

Two head butts? I seriously doubt if any trained fighter would ever head butt anyone because HIS head might crack. This is starting to look more and more like a story you made up Mr. Prufrock. Same-same the elbow to the head. Good way to break your elbow. Too much TV wrestling Mr. Prufrock?

Telemachus says:

Prufrock

You should have been a pair of ragged claws, scuttling across the floors of silent seas.

Saeb says:

Reply to IHTFP.
You do it for fun?. Boy, are you weird or what?.
Suspect you play too many video games.
Ain't nobody in a war zone for fun - never has been, never will be.
Did your Mother drop you on your head at a very early age?.

PRUFROCK: French guy was not called Alain by any chance and his mate Jean Marc?.
Old mates I lost touch with - ex Legion Paras living here.
Gents to a tee but not to be sharing blows with.
Bloody good cooks as well.

bob says:

yes you are all right ,there is a multi million dollar international business in soiled panties going begging for some entrepreneur to start up.
maybe Keith Summers can do it

Prufrock says:

"Prufrock

You should have been a pair of ragged claws, scuttling across the floors of silent seas."

..in the short time rooms the women come and go, talking of stumbling buffalo . .
i grow old . . i grow old.
Shall I wear the bottoms f my trousers rolled?
. . do I dare eat a peach ?

(Are you f*cking kidding? at 69 baht apiece? With the price of Dinty Moore's up over 174 baht? Nuff said ;-);-)

To TS and Trink the usual apologies apply

Prufrock says:

This is so f*cking funny.
Who fights in flip flops?

Six months ago in front of the Thermae, I and 40 to 50 others WATCHED in utter amazement as a drunken loud-mouthed American bully got his lights thoroughly punched out and his arm quite possibly broken by a younger, more agile, more adept, thoroughly trained, barefoot and, from all appearances, completely sober French-speaking fight-clubber.
It happened.
Hard cheese.
Get over it.

Prufrock says:

Blenderbush
Your cage liner thing was the sort of cinder-block smashing blow one can only hope to respond to at some future date.

???????? Query??????????

In a vastly more relevant and more practical vein but somewhat apropos:

After several Breezers,
the barfine,
a tube of lip balm
the condoms
and the hong short,
what does one pay an "okay" go-go starlet who's shocked to find herself in the final stages of menses halfway though a session?
0 - 500 - 1000 ??

Prufrock says:

So if I've understood this correctly, you've comforted yourself with your friend's de-bunking of my recollection of a 6-month-old street fight in order to assuage the fears you would otherwise have felt knowing that somewhere out there, there might have been a freshly-minted bully hunting down small- bodied chaps like yourself.
Is the universe not unfolding as it should. My gracious goodness, Dana.

May I recommend the Bangkok Fight Club? A kind of light at the end of the tunnel.
No "TV"s there but you can learn about all that other stuff about which your "ex-MP friend" has no real clue.
A little update is in order here.

Prufrock says:

Common

Where to begin ?
You're amazingly stubborn I'll say that.

Thank you for freely re-framing my recollections of six months ago in the most specious of detail.
Some of it made up completely. .
What is it with you net-ninnies?

Common, please. Quite understandable from a person who forgets or re-invents the whole account to suit himself in the seconds it takes to scroll town to the brainfart section of this page ;-)
And you're critical of MY memory for detail?

Read before you type!
Thermae's a basement bar right on Sukhumvit. It's not a soi
It's well-lit outside
Belgian wasn't drunk. The Merkin certainly was.
I wasn't drunk.
Cops here don't give a shit.
Flip flop sandals - had to come off ... went back on after the fight.
Elbow slam? (Shotokun cinder block stunt)
OPEN HANDED jab to the throat partially parried by the Amerikan (read/then type)
Does shaking like a leaf mean anything to you? Adreniline OD? Probably needed a good crap soon enough after as well - (maybe some of you or your fellow hard asses could tell us about THAT charming after-feature of fighting for your life since you know so much).
And sure the Belgian took some hits. . . . kicks to the thighs and forarms, punches grazing the face but nothing that would interrupt his breathing pattern. That and his sparring, manouevering, circling and focus is what beat the Merkin. And he was trained. These guys train 4 to 6 hours a day. No pills.
Head butts to the face.
Forearm smash to the face
Dropped arms Remember Clay/Liston?? (blood goes to the legs where it's needed) arms block when and where needed

Step in??
Someone should have stepped in ?? Are you fucking crazy???
I did not examine the arm. But the Merkin was kind of flapping it around after so you might be on to something there. Maybe it wasn't broken.

(Garza?)

Liu Bei says:

Attn: Mr. Prufrock and regarding the 'fight' submission--

Sorry but every b-movie studio has not only seen a thousand scripts with that scene, but shot several hundred. Look up "Jean-Claude Van Damme" for some good examples. He's Belgian, though, not french.

The "Merkin" bit was a nice touch though, in a Beavis-and-Butthead-read-a-book sort of way.

Liu Bei says:

Mr. Prufrock:

The short version (revised) is considerably more believable.

Bring back the "Merkin" part though, we need the laffs here in the cheap seats.

Prufrock says:

Liu Bei, krup

Yeah, probably. I suppose so.
Who cares, really?

Hey, I'm just a seasoned gentleman of a certain age making his way thru the Sukhumvit nite six months ago (minding my own business, trying to decide if my Camel Adventure trousers might look a bit more rakish with the cuffs rolled) when this fight breaks out in front of the Thermae. . . .

Just wanted to talk to somebody about it.

Hope no one was offended that I bridled when two or three of the lads called bullshit.
I'm rather ordinary in that way and many other ways.

I'll give you plenty of warning if/when I decide to entertain you with a yarn.

Andy says:

The first rule of Faux Fight Club is no-one talks about Faux Fight Club.

Preferably.

Liu Bei says:

I took "the fight scene" as a string of confabulations rather than outright conscious bullshit.

Andy: You missed the real fun--all the posturing from the cheap seats (amounting to nothing in terms of bloodshed) in the heyday of the stickman-vs-stalkman telenovela.

Grunt says:

My God...dicer swapping names...having an elaborate conversation with herself.

Where do I get a decent set of hip-waders? The bullshit is getting deep around here.

LiangShangPo says:

I am a History teacher and I was dismayed to hear the responses during a class the other day. Someone on this thread mentioned 'Vietnam' and it is on this subject that i was teaching. When I asked the question 'How many people died during the Vietnam War?' I recieved alot of wrong answers from the pupils. Therefore, I spent ages rewriting the texts books so the future generations of students would be wiser.

During the Vietnam war, 2 million Vietnamese and Cambodians died...and a few American soldiers. So there..

I once saw a fight on Soi Socks between a flemish retard and a hulking Dallas Cowboy. The retard had a built-up shoe and rickets but that did not stop him from unleashing multiple kicks upon the hapless yank. i counted 45 kicks in succession before the yank bit the dust and bled away into the gutter. This proves that even europeans with special needs can still outwit Americans in brutal street combat. I sincerely hope Keith Summers crosses the path of this dandy-kick-ass-retard some day.

Common Sense says:

Prufrock,
Yes I will dare question you memory since you can't even remember that in you fairy tale fight story the ninja was French not Belgian. You'll probably defend that by saying the countries are right next to each other so their practically the same thing.

Sure the cops don't give a shit if 2 farang beat the shit out of each other. But passing up the chance to extort money isn't one of their better knnown qualities.

No one stepping in. HA. Since both had friends there i truly find this hard to believe.

My apologies on the throat jab error though.

Now before you painstakingly pick apart my grammar and spelling I'll let you know i'm hungover, still a little drunk, and frankly dont give a shit enough to proofread.

Pants Elk says:

"i'm hungover, still a little drunk, and frankly dont give a shit enough to proofread."

There's a screenwriter job waiting for you in Hollywood.

Common Sense says:

Thanks for the tip Pants. I'll look into that.

Prufrock says:

Common:
Last time I looked Frenchmen could be from many places, among them, Paris, Bruges, Montreal and Brussels.

Francophones from these places pronounce their English with more or less similar accents. Belgians especially are quite like Normands and the Quebecois. I leave out people from Lacoste, Corsicans and people from the Midi in general for obvious reasons.

Now if my Frenchman had gone into Flemish I'd have perhaps labelled him a Belgian straight off but then I think we both know by now that if I'd done that we'd be having this discussion about how I knew he was from Belgium. (Since at this stage your wish is to discredit me and my Thermae story and you have amply demonstrated in posts to me and any others that you will reframe shamelessly or grasp at ANY straw to have another go at this.)

Anyway, I didn't think that Belgian thing was particularly relevant till I got this query from "tracy"

Was the French guy Van Damme?
Posted by tracy | December 14, 2006 7:46 PM

So I supplied a further detail in a multiple post to several people:
First to "tracy" with:

Nope but he's Belgian. Found out later.
(see above)
Posted by Prufrock | December 15, 2006 2:52 PM

Now, that "(see above)" thing refers to MY guy's actual name and the name of his shabby but adequate little training centre right here in Bangkok.(see below)

Since by this time Divespine had gotten totally into it with this pedantic "kung fu" reframing and uber-sourcing of my original post into a more easily assailable account which he then masterfully proceeded to assail. (kinda had a Fox News doco ring to it)I had to "take care of" him.

To wit:
Drive-by's story about his 155 lb friend who had apparently destroyed a kung fu guy who had "menacingly removed his SHOES" as well (do tell, laces and all?) bore little resemblance to the Thermae incident (or reality for that matter) but it suited Divespine's purpose which was to trash my story.
Either that, or like you he can't be bothered to read.
(You, at least' fess up)
So, anyway, here is my post to him.

Divespine?
Bangkok Fight Club. . . . Dominique
Akido, Tae kwan Do, Brazillian, Sabat, some boxing Muay Thai Bare foot English Boxing . . . It's a training center for "street"
Um, how will he, ah, know it's you?

(Dec 15 same time and date as "tracy")

Then (although he seems to have better things to do at this juncture HotBG+ katoey+Cialis?) we had Dana's MP friend declaring something about "head-hitting verbotten" and someone else (maybe you again) going on about the Shotokun elbow finish as if it had been cut and pasted from a WWF wrestling mag.

(A digression)
Between the point of the elbow and the triceps' tendons there is a hard flat-ish patch about the size of a fried egg. Tendons, bone and connective tissue that are subject to inflamation but are more or less free of nerves.
With surprisingly little training this area can be toughened and de-sensitized to the point at which one can crack a cinder block.
This will concuss if one can get it off. It is a coup de grace move. These people rarely get the chance to use it for obvious reasons.

Now, at this juncture I feel the obligation confess openly to Mango Sauce's resident literati (sincere Barrett inclusos) a profoundly dusturbing personal factoid:

Neither I, Prufrock, nor my work, have ever been optioned for a film deal. That's the sad truth.
Yep, been to many film festivals over the years but I always felt a bit sorry for the luminaries in attendance as they fielded embarrassing queries from desparate schmoozers about reading outlines and "doing lunch."
I enjoyed the buzz at these things but at the same time they were obviously there to promote their own work and not to discover the raw talents of Christopher Moore and Dean Barrett et al. But they'd always have a listen. They're polite.

My book deal thing is more complex. I have nothing against self-publishing. Those of you familiar with my early work know I started out this way as did many others including Sylvia Plath and, for what it's worth William Shakepeare.

I have a different problem at this stage. In compliance with my last wishes my executors, Faber & Faber simply won't permit away games. This condition expires in a few years but until then my work is confined to the Web and to sites like this. . . .

Sites which, needless to say, I thoroughly enjoy.

The calibre of post, even from those who make it their business to try and spoil my fun, is far superior to posts on any other current Bangkok-based site.
Even Dean Barrett's.

It is my hope however in future to avoid the level of consternation which my Thermae fight inspired among some of you.
Those of you who either don't get here that often or who actually work here at jobs which preclude frequent late-nite sojourns into Bangkok's "sao kem" quarters may have a point.
That fight was incredible !

B-movie script?
Perhaps.
If our lives here do not at soem point take on some degree of B movie noir-ishness others might say we're living them wrongly or we should get out a bit more.

I do my part.
No offence.

Liu Bei says:

Grunt " My God...dicer swapping names...having an elaborate conversation with herself.

Where do I get a decent set of hip-waders? The bullshit is getting deep around here."

Let me guess, Grunt isn't your job description, it's 1/100th of your vocabulary. That would explain your use of the ancient "hip boots" cliche, you just don't possess the tools to come up with anything wittier.

Sorry we'll have everyone dumb it down to monosyllables so you can follow at least a teeny tiny bit of it. And no, every person who has read more than one book in their life isn't Dicer, except in your fantasy life, you paranoid solipsist. Next down's baby-generated conspiracy theory, please...

MadMark says:

I'm really not too sure what almost all of that had to do with the original topic.

Prufrock says:

Come on, Common, this just has to be the end of this nonsense campaign of yours.
Speaking for myself and perhaps others within eye-shot here, your grammar, as sloppy as it is, really isn’t the issue, now is it? And you seem to have mastered that spell- check at least but that only takes you so far, or are you not aware of that?
It’s your reading skills. You’re ok with sound-bites but you just don’t have the stamina for the long passages. Maybe you're tired. But at this stage it’s getting tiresome for everyone.

With a little work on my part, (something like a smart Thai must feel as he listens to my f*cked up tones) I can pretty well figure out what you’re trying to say but then I have to turn around and insult myself on your behalf. There are bars here that cater to that sort of thing. I’m not into it. Never have been.

Now I know you can sort of read but for some reason, for my posts, you chose not to. You're more comfortable replying to stuff you just make up. Well, ever the courteous one, I have been trying to understand what you may have thought I meant and work through a step by step explanation. But now you’re just using this drunkenness thing as an excuse to be lazy.

So now that I’ve done all this prep for you, you’re back to opining on the stated facts. That Frenchman could have been a Montrealer for all I knew at first. He was just French.
But you? You make up something about these two countries being close together etc/ etc?. Now you're on about countries being close together or something? Is the light better out their? Is that why your looking out they’re ???? ( ya got ME doing it now ya big lug . (. . . that your=you’re and they’re=there and their =there thing you throw in for excitement). I will no longer toil at clarifying stuff for you.

And, Common-dude, there were no cops.
Quite often here there just ARE NO COPS.
Whether they like shaking people down for money is true but irrelevant.
They were not there.
And usually they don’t bother with fights especially fights involving farangs unless there’s a complaint.
I’ve been here for a long time.
Thai cops do very little of this “real police work” sort of thing.
There’s just not that much in it for them.
You can take this to the bank.
Jing jing, son.
Tonight they were stopping taxis on Suk soi 31 checking farang visas and looking for ya baa. 8! of the cunts, mean and hungry (the taxi driver was worried as well till I told him I had my papers in order.

And no drama on the throat thing Okay? I was gonna use “stab” instead of jab but (and you’ll love this) I thought even though it was more accurate it might lead to misunderstandings among people who would then “find” a knife in there. There were no knives. The weapons sellers are normally closer to soi 5 but they pack up early. The Thermae Underground guy that started selling weapons a few years ago closes at around 7 pm.)

That ‘Merkin stood alone son.
No wing man.
No team of like-minded lads to talk sense into his drunken face.
Perhaps if he’d had some back-up there’d never even have been a confrontation.
‘Merkin just had his comfort worker to push a chicken-juice ice-pack onto his face to wake him up.
Seemed to like it though.
He yelled for more for the arm.
* * * *
You mentioned in reply to a post exonerating those who choose to keep their brothel-creeping confidential by using noms d’ecran instead of revealing to the planet their true identities that you concurred with this practice of screen names.
Yeah, I have much to lose.
And it’s nobody’s business.
Not even Dean Barrett’s
More importantly, it reassures me that you are not the famous Dean Barrett in full Grunt persona.
Beneath you I would venture to say, for some reason.

Honestly, I have not been able to understand clearly whether you are actually in Iraq or not. But you talk like you are so I will just say at this time that I sincerely wish you a safe Christmas and that you are able to put all these newly acquired Bangkok travel tips to good use during your upcoming visit to this place.

Until then, Common, you must take care of yourself and those around you.
Don’t think about this shit anymore.
It was just a shitty fight.
Relax. Drop it.
And if it will enable you to keep your mind on staying alive I will freely admit to making the whole thing up. My Christmas gift to you.
But if you are just another faux GI armchair wanker who’s never even been here or in Iraq. Well, still, have a good Christmas, son.
Be well.

Prufrock says:

Khun Madmark, krup

The "what's all this got to do with ....." remark is perhaps the second most flung blanket-wetter in the game.

First by a mile is that "real name" spluge. But, yes, of course you're absolutely right to protect the rights of those who haven't been following.

Consistency, I vaguely remember, IS a virtue of some sort. And I for one will take the wisdom of this comment and put it to good use.

Common Sense says:

Prufrock,
Do you happen to be bipolar. If so maybe Tanai Kwai or Dicer can offer some assistance.

Divad says:

You get these bullshit fight stories all the time in Bangkok. All this ex-SAS or martial-arts expert bollocks. Now its this new 'all-in fighting' geezer 5feet tall and 7stone kicked shit out of this 25stone American.

I think the bullshit-o-meter is in the Red Zone.

Prufrock says:

Common

Relax, concentrate on getting out of Iraq alive if that's really where you are at the moment.
Or out of that shitty job you have in the States.
Read a little more. It will help your writing.
Whatever.
But chill, just chill.

When ya get a little older you'll find that you jest can't win 'em all but you could easily die trying.

"May the peace of God which passeth all understanding be in your heart and your mind from this day forth and for evermore."

Be well,

Prufrock

Pants Elk says:

Tell you what, "Common Sense", save all this energy you're wasting here for your book/and/or/screenplay. You can clearly find your way around a keyboard, more or less, so you qualify. Go away from this place, shun it, and devote yourself to giving birth to that fabulous cash-cow you know you have gestating inside you. Then come back and wave your big fat deal in our jealous little faces.
Really, your job here is done. We all know you're a big tough guy with a gun who's seen a woman naked.

Prufrock says:

Divad said: You get these bullshit fight stories all the time in Bangkok. All this ex-SAS or martial-arts expert bollocks. Now its this new 'all-in fighting' geezer 5feet tall and 7stone kicked shit out of this 25stone American.

Prufrock says : Sorry, Divad, but actually you don't hear a lot of that here in Bangkok. At least among the people I hang with. Old hat, I guess.

One hears of a very occasional one-to-one fight that keeps most of the sane/sober farangs smart and well back from the action.
But, no, I've not heard much of the sort of thing you're on about.

I've heard many more guys reply to drunken challenges with something like, "No. Sorry, no problem at all." when goaded into a punch-up than fights or even barstool accounts of actual fights.

Perhaps it's just the "bollocks-geezer-25stone-Foooooo-bow yobs" who have done so much to ruin things here that get into this shit in front of the telly back at the council flat back in Yobshitster-on-Tyme that spout this sort of thing.
But, naw, there's not a lot of it here.

Sure, back in Broke-ass-on-D'oal
There's always one or two broke-ass geezahs who'll try on a fight story . . i'n'n''air ;-), roight?? Know wha' oi myne? Usually comes up after conversation involving string theory or environmental imperatives has run its course.

Cheers
Prufrock

Common Sense says:

Prufrock,
I have a little more time to toy around with you now. If you had read more than one thread on this blog you would realize I am currently in Japan. In about a week, I'll be living in California pursuing my new life as a Hollywood screenwriter per Pants Elk's suggestion. I have decided to set aside any great war movies I have building up within me in pursuit of my new interest. I'm thinking more along the lines of a B action flick involving French/Candian/Belgian ninja's running rampant through Bangkok. Maybe Brian Bosworth can be the lead actor.

Why you think you have won anything is beyond me. Everyone knows this story is bullshit but you insist on digging the hole deeper. Put the shovel down Prufrock, you'll throw your back out at your age.

I never made up any new story as you suggest. I did make one error regarding the throat jab. The rest was blatant sarcasm or me speculating what would likely have happened in the "Real World". Check with one of your other personalities, maybe they were there once.

As for your fight, the reason we all know it's bullshit is because a well trained fighter, as you claim the French/Belgian ninja to be, would not use such amateur moves.

Throat jabs, although partially effective open handed, are generally taught with a closed fist or partial fist (fingers half bent). This greatly increases their effectiveness. In any form they would not leave an instantaneous welt as you describe. Only an openhanded bitch slap would do that.

The arm bar. Holy shit. Not only highly unlikely to break the arm without going to the ground, but also not generally taught as a bone breaking maneuver. Arm bars in the standing position are taught to be compliance techniques or to be taken to the ground where more leverage can be generated for a clean break. If he wanted to break something while standing he could have simply converted to a wristlock and broke that.

Head butts are also taught to be used as a last resort while standing. Best used while grappling where the intended impact zone can be better targeted and manipulated. Reduces the chance of knocking yourself out.

Oh and here we go with this infamous elbow to the top of the head. Yes, I know the striking surface for elbows/knees is 2-3 inches above or below the joint. No well-trained fighter would ever consider hitting a man on his knees on the hardest part of his body with an elbow though. To easily broken, even if this part is hardened. That’s not to mention the unlikely hood of this knocking him out. Why would such a well-trained fighter choose to do this. A much easier route would be a knee to the head. Unlikely to injure yourself and very likely to knock your opponent out since the legs are the biggest and strongest muscle of the body.

Are you sure you didn't steal your idea of French/Canadian/Belgian ninjas from the St. Pierre/Hughes fight.

Divad says:

I've never been on the dole or lived in a council flat, so I wouldn't know what they talked about there.

You do hear these stories in your circles, because....... you tell them!

Saeb says:

It is all rather sad when (Brits especially) come here and behave exactly as they would on 'Slime By the Sea, Britlag'.
Get rat arsed and start on someone - it is all rather unbecoming.

And of course the amoount of ex SAS, Navy Seals, Green Berets, SF in general, Spies, Spooks and 'trying to appear mysterious' people that I have met over the years defies description.

Some people should watch t.v less and get out more - maybe a small stroll before Mummy prepares tea and gets Emmerdale on the telly.........?.

Not everyone can be "super 'ard" Ross Kemp, 'my wife beats me' pretending to be an elite sooper sojer.

Prufrock says:

Yeah. Well, okay not Eye-rack then, Japan . . . just as dangerous right?

A hunnert posts back on another thread? I shoulda known. Sonofabitch.
Well Booyah to you, Butch!

Well, "Peace" anyway, chucklehead.
(Damn! So you're NOT even a real soldier? - no f*cking wonder we're getting all this jive-assed 'Merkin shit outta you. All these accusations of fabricating a tale of a little ole fight.
You're a fake soldier or some kind of office worker? Is that it?? You're a f*cking barber or a truckdriver or something right? With lots of down-time to download extreme fight DVD's off mininova????

F*ck, the way things are going at home Common I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that THIS is your job. Yeah, pestering people on the internet. It's in the Pentagon budget big time. 'Merka's a wonderful place now thanks to you dickheads.
You guys EVER bombed a country that could actually fight back, or that evrybody else hadn't softened up for you while you Nazis were deciding which side to support in the war???
EVER????
Oh Yeah. Veetnahm. Right.

Sweet Jesus !
Japan. You held on to that dusty dick in Eye-rack thing for dear life though, right? Your ID. F*cked up just like the mansaid. I thought he was being a little harsh but he was right!
So, okay, let's see if I got this.
It's Japan but not for long, right?
Back to the States, right??
Well, then I guess it's codpiece time for shure, ain't it.
"Mission Accomplished"

For you I see a big welcome home job with Homeland Security until that book/movie deal/option thingy cash-cow comes through.

Just a reminder, though.
Cut back on that alcohol and re-balance your meds before your big turkey dinner.
I know whereof I speak Common 'cause I had mine a little early this year.

Yep, as you are just beginning to realize, just over the past few days, I f*cking destroyed a massive turkey. (I'd heard they were dumb birds but geez this one had no idea he was even on the spit.)

Of course, after excess consumption of protein, there is the inevitable turd that just won't flush.

That'd be you, Common?

Anonymous says:

This "oyster" even cold, is definitely one of the choicer parts of that turkey:

To wit:

"or me speculating what would likely have happened in the "Real World"

Butchoo of course didn't make anything up, of course, now didja, Common.
Oh no, not you.
Bye the bye Common, just as a matter of interest, have you ever been cross- examined, you know, by a good lawyer?
Not some storefront legal aid twat; but a real live logician/semanticist/legal expert?
Because if you have, you surely know that it's about now that the judge says. O-kaaaay Mr. Sense. I'm just gonna stop you right there. You're in enough trouble here and we don't need to waste the court's time getting you into more trouble here, now do we.
Good luck in the movies but yeah, sorry.
That's it. . . . .
Flushy flushy

Mork says:

Have any of you guys seen this?

http://thailandsdirtysecret.blogspot.com/

I think I got the answer.

Pants Elk says:

Fuck me! (rhetorical, "Common Sense", don't get excited) - this looks very creepy and sinister indeed. I have no idea. Smog masks, powder, something poisonous in the jungle - a dirty secret - radioactive? I wish I hadn't seen this just before going to bed.
What's your answer, Mark?

Common Sense says:

Prufrock,
My aren't you on a high horse today. So much so that you are afraid to even post under your own name so as not to appear bipolar yet again. Who has the identity crisis here?

If you weren't so lazy to read back a few posts you would know almost everything about me. No I don't pretend to be something I'm not, where I am and what I do is common knowledge around here. Since your lazy and there are other newbie’s around here I'll spell it out for you once more. I'm a Marine, live in Japan, have spent 19 months in Iraq(the war has been going on for 3 1/2 years), and no I aint a desk jockey. I do spend entirely to much time in my office as though after 7 years I'm no longer a lowly private and actually have administrative and planning responsibilities. My primary job though is with explosives, landmines, and construction. I do happen to also be an instructor in the Marine Corps Martial Arts Program(google it, it does exist). Hence me having the technical expertise to call bullshit on the details of your story. No I'm not some Jackie Chan badass, but I am well enough versed in the subject to know bullshit when I see it.

I think it is you who has the reading comprehension problem. My original post which said "I haven't seen girls with such bruised and battered inner thighs since tearing through a Mexican mamasita AFTER a year in Iraq collecting dust on my tool." That's what you would call PAST TENSE. Meaning it's in the past. While were on the subject of your comprehension problem, lets examine your attention for detail also. If you would pay attention you would notice I haven't posted any jive assed Merkin bullshit here. Go on scroll up and look for yourself. Go on. Go on.

Oh yeah i forgot your to lazy to read back anywhere. Since you won’t do it I'll explain. The Europeans started with the jive assed Merkin bashing shit on a misguided rant about these phantom postings of mine "praising U.S. policy". These posts simply do not exist.

Now back to the subject of the fight.

Oh no I didn't forget about it even though you tried to change the subject in hopes that I would wonder off topic defending myself. Typical female shit if you ask me.

I'll give you a chance to clear your name. Describe to me the position and technique that your French/Canadian/Belgian shotokun samurai ninja master used to arm bar this man and break his arm from the standing position. I will know if it's bullshit or not. Now lets here it. I highly doubt you can defend your story based on facts and will once again resort to changing the subject, personal attacks, or some other irrelevant pretext.

Liu Bei says:

prufrock: "You guys EVER bombed a country that could actually fight back, or that evrybody else hadn't softened up for you while you Nazis were deciding which side to support in the war???
EVER???? "

That'd be Japan, unless you count surrendering in droves in Singapore etc. as softening them up. Lulling them into overconfidence, perhaps?

---Liu Bei, merkin salesman.

Dicer says:

Dirty Berty -

It seems to me that Queens Castle II has over looked a potential gold mine in its knicker bin. They could buy in the panties cheap at Pratunam, get the girls to wear them during the evening and then flog them off at say 100bt a pair. I'd certainly buy a few!

Bob -

yes you are all right ,there is a multi million dollar international business in soiled panties going begging for some entrepreneur to start up.
maybe Keith Summers can do it ....

Good idea, but in Thailand?

The Japanese have mastered this trade and hence why there is a well recognised knickers exchange in Tokyo. Maybe they can franchise it out to Slimeland. Locals though won’t pick up on it as it requires a knack for harvesting fantasies.... or perhaps tapping on commercial possibilities. Rice tarts as we know do the basic "we make lab now mister," ordinary tennis-like ritual hamlet intercourse. Nothing new in this one might say. All societies have discovered in the sex lives of their people a great incentive for mercantile use. Nowhere has it been made more effective and turned into a well-run business, however, as it has in Japan and the amount of imagination employed is staggering: from the romance boxes that contain whisky, soap and a vibrator in any run of the mill love hotel to the CCTV recorder provided to relay your rococo bed performance to the tube and to the front-desk it is said where further profit might then be made. The Japanese have channeled all their frustrations, alienations and sexual repressions into a seething commercial mechanism that roars onto the scene with the latest gizmos and the most unlikely of scenarios depicted not only in voyeuristic mangas, but into say, video boxes that persuade a punter to handover cash for something that was hitherto free or perhaps love hotels arranged so that from parking your car to paying the bill no one actually sees you. Who said again that Jap society doesn't adapt and change... in fact, as is its wont, it lets schoolgirls tap into the H-baito (pervy part time work as they call it) requiring each enterprising tartlet to only release a fresh and unhealthy quantity of colourful leucorrhea on her knickers. When soiled underpants became the rage in Tokyo the Education Ministry put a stop to it by claiming that it broke the Antique Dealings Act. And dirty panties stores were closed. But mercantile enterprise usually thrives on adversity.

Now we can look at Japanese know-how and healthy business sense in discovering an apparently yet unrealised fantasy sex market and become envious. If there was ever a place that was ripe for such expansion from village-tennis-sex to more adventurous fantasyland products it is LOS. But the willfully pretentious and prudishly stiff public attitude of "polite" bkk society not to mention unthinking ways of mutant busy bodies will forever prevent the locals from making much needed dough from the extracurricular activities of their rice tarts. Suggest to any tart, mamasan or businessman the commercial possibilities in soiled pants and they'll do the salty face sneer and probably say "mai sa'aat" or perhaps "farang baa ruu paaw." Selling mechanical sex is one thing...being creative in commerce is another.

Prufrock says:

Japan?? Naaaaaaw

Come on, Liu Bei.
You're an educated man.
I submit that since "the rest" of WWII's history has been de-classified for years, you are well aware of the backgrounders on that period.

The people of the United States of America, (a great nation) the UN (Sorry, but, a brave idea) and the EU (dunno?) should, together, take control of their corporate citizens and return to lead the West.

Not this way, Liu Bei, for God's sake,
please, not the way it's heading now.

respectfully,
Prufrock

No need to sell the US to me, I love it.
but like hordes of ordinary people absolutely everywhere, I just want it to re-invigorate its table manners.

James Baker and Colin Powell have table manners. You know what I'm on about here.

Road Natzi says:

Typical fucking Americans.

Everyone else @ the plaza is there to root and the yank wants to fight. Isnt he happy with his war criminal leader who busy bombing and trying to blow anything he can up.

Sad thing is, when the yanks or the poms want to fight and do it right, they call in the Aussies, the best military in the world.

Piss off back to the states and clear the way, theres bar girls in the plaza that need lovin, you jerks can head back for your usual wank, god knows ur good at it.

The only decent president of the united states was that 'Billy' guy, who cruised the white house looking for ugly white sluts to suck on his cock, whilst he saved for his next ticket to thailand.

GOD BLOW UP AMERICA and stop the yanks from comming to thailand

Mork says:

Pants Elk, it's one of them you just don't talk about. The blog gives enough away if you read it carefully.

Pants Elk says:

Road Natzi, I hope "Common Sense" is sending you money for the favour you're doing him. Compared to you, the guy's Marcel Fucking Proust. Even boomer has more charm than you. Really, you are the stupidest person to post here, and as such a useful datum for the rest of us. Keep it up!

Common Sense says:

Prufrock,
I'm still waiting for this description of how the arm bar was applied. You've showed your ass enough around here, a little more won't hurt.

Saeb says:

Road Natzi -
Wrong, wrong, wrong; They send the Scots squaddies off to earn the VC's after the English and Yanks run away.
(Clock the totals.).
Sure the Aussies and Kiwis have done their bit - but look at the numbers in WW1 & 2 vis a vis the populations of Oz and NZ. (% wise).

No offence - o.k.?.

By the way, US chappies and Chappeses do consider one thing - in 10 years of buggering around in Vietnam you lost 58,000: In the first hour of the third battle of the Somme the allies (non US cos' you were not there then) lost over 60,000 dead and wounded.
By the end of the first day it was 58,000 confirmed dead + those who were vapourised.Or drowned in shell holes.

That went on for another year with the Germans and French suffering similar numbers.
US folks, do you ever, ever understand why it was called "The War to End All Wars" ?.

Vietnam : Yanks never read history books - you like to make it up as you go along.
The viets chased the Chinese out many times, they chased the French out, most of whose legionaires at that time were former ex Waffen SS troopers and not exactly soft.

Why?. They prefer to stay Vietnamese in history, culture and family.
They did not need some prick junior officer stating on television that they had to 'Destroy the village in order to save it".
Ohhh.....the sheer ignorance of US junior officers is breathtaking to see and I know I have worked with them.

Constructive thought is not taught in the US military.
Thank goodness for the Brit and French Paras - they call it 'airborne initiative' : i.e if it is friendly do not shoot it and give it, or ask it, for food. Make friends in other words.

Saves a lot of heart ache.

Having had some cases of the US military seemingly enjoying torturing Iraq people in prisons there - videos, pics etc, and the recent rape convictions of US squaddies raping unmarried Iraq women, do you ever, for one minute ever think that the US are going to win?.
Get real: The behaviour of the louts who are supposed to be an army is reprehensible.

Wow : Orwellian double speak - I note that Brain Dead Bush has adopted this in his moral crusade against Iraq.
We got to kill them so they get the American way of Democracy.

And this one of the oldest developed civilisations in the world -Iraq that is.
One last question: What does BDB think about the deliberate exremination of the native American Indians and the theft of their lands and will he give them back?.

What about his pals who are going to destroy the environment in Alaska and basically wipe out Inuit culture?.

Right, they can get jobs in 7-11.

I don't like mercenaries and I don't like keyboard fantasy warriors.

And, I don't like US foreign policy.
Do please read Winston Churchill's book,
"The Decision to Drop The Bomb".

Written 1948 and still in print I believe and where he states quite clearly that it was bugger all to do with shortening the war. It was to see if it worked on a captive population.

(Note the bombs were dropped in areas with high ground around as they thought the original blast area might be larger).

Rant for tonight finished - super mental ex super troopers who wish to employ James Bond methods for my demise, I am easy to recognise.
White, Scots, 6ft tall, brown hair.
(Non Glaswegian accent).

Don't forget the cream and tissues before bedtime after Mum has made your cocoa.

TANAI KWAI says:

Just a very general observation. There was a time when there were only one or two longwinded motherf'ers. Now there's a pandemic of literary Moctezuma's Revenge. And a dearth of editing.

These days, as the beneficiary of some hindsight, might I suggest that the length of a post is inversely related to the probability that it will be read. You people do want to be read, do you not?

A lot of contributors are deluded if they believe that these leviathans they are posting are being ingested and savored by a ravenous readership. Fact is, there are countless great steaming hunks of blubber left on the deck of the Mango whaler that rot unread every day.

And if you are going to post at length, consider reading at length as there is a fair chance it was said before -- if not on this or that thread on another.

“I have only made this letter longer because I have not had the time to make it shorter.” Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)

"I would have written a shorter letter, but I didn't have the time." Mark Twain (1835-1910)

"If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter." T.S Eliot (1888-1965)"

bob says:

correct .levianathanic posts are skipped and go unread .suggest they try for the Booker prize ..keep it short guys

Drivespline says:

Hey Saeb,

Real name Galloway?

Common Sense says:

Tanai Kwai,
Point taken. I'll immediately begin flogging myself for picking up on of Dicer's least admired qualities.

Mork says:

ditto Tanai Kwai!

Bring in a maximum length per post rule.

Common Sense says:

Saeb,
Being slaughtered in droves is hardly an accomplishment worth bragging about. Maybe it is our philisophy on war that reduces our casualties.

"Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country."
General George S. Patton

Prufrock says:

(flushy)

Common Sense says:

I see the saving face aspect of Thai culture has rubbed of on you Pruf. When backed into a corner just ignore the problem. Seems to be what many here do.

Prufrock says:

Khun Tanai Kwai, krup
Re: your own post, “Shorter is better” would have done, then.
Agreed. But at what cost?

I, for one, however, unequivocally without reservation prefer your “director’s cut” version: Its polite, apologetic, lead set a benignly constructive tone. Its diction served to balance a witty, racy scatological jibe and underscored your thesis in a most entertaining fashion. Balance in this case warded off premature accusations of cliché and poor choice of allegory. Your point was made forcefully and with great humour.
Balance over brevity.
Anything else would have been beneath the engaging wit and charm of your participation at Mango Sauce’s splendid round table.

As one who, from the git-go has contributed immensely to the fabric of Mango Sauce you have every right and indeed are obliged to mention precisely that.
You needn’t have gone into detail and you wisely chose to let things speak for themselves. Brevity was your friend here. But your neat Melvillian image (some would have blue-penciled it . . . not I) was delightful as well. Thank you for including it even at the risk of tripping up your own well considered commentary regarding gassy posts.

Now, hopefully, I am not being too presumptuous when I consider myself among the overly-windy offenders for whom that last splendidly apt troika of quotes from Pascal, Eliot and Mark Twain, holds particular significance.
At this stage of your post, adherence to what I call “the rule of three” was indispensable. One quote alone would not have done. Your painstaking (I assume you had to Google) observance of “the rule of three” was a delight. I would lobby forcefully, against anyone who’d have argued for brevity in this case, notwithstanding the subject at hand.

“The medium being the massage.” as we used to say at “the Institute.”
But those media? Well, they are a-changin’ as well, I’m sure you’ll agree.

In future, when posting, your kind commentary indeed will be in the stylebook.

As a final note, and again aware that elements of presumptuousness and pomposity often trickle into even the most carefully edited of texts, I wish to state flatly and without irony or guile that I enjoy almost all I read on Mango Sauce. No, all of it.
In the Mango Sauce hopper, what fails on its own, benefits from “delightful synergy” .
Some of it is successful. Some falls flat. Folks are by and large literate and polite.

There are dunderheads among us who type away in the expectation of actually seeing their correspondents nod away in the affirmative upon being presented with “the facts”

I, on more than one occasion, have slipped into this trap.
To you and to anyone else I may have offended or even worse, bored, I apologize.

Repectfully

Prufrock

Prufrock says:

Tank's filling up nicely.
(great pressure even up here)
(flushy)

Road Natzi says:

Hey Pants Elk,

You might consider me stupid, thats your choice, but it would seem you have underestimated me as well.

You sit in your office, with your 6 coloured pens in your shirt pocket, your calculator in the other top pocket, your out of date semi-retro spectacles halfway down your nose and you think you are gods gift.

Let me, let you in on a little secret Elk, no matter how many big words you use or how correct your punctuation is, NO ONE WILL EVER REALLY LIKE YOU !!!

This country I live in and any other decent place in the world is built on the backs of people like me. Every day I dress in my uniform and go to war, I risk my life and follow orders from above to make the world a safer place for geeks like you.

Elk, why don't you get a life, head out and do something useful, there are thousands of ways to commit suicide, its all on the net, you know that place you spend your whole life cruising (besides the gay beats that you so often frequent).

Get a life Elk and have a go, your a man not a mouse (thats not the thing in your right hand either).

Ohh and if your ever in Australia, look me up, I'd like to meet you face to face you little runt, ohh sorry I meant you silly cunt !!

hugs n kisses
ROAD NATZI

Road Natzi says:

Sorry All,

Just one other thing Elk, I obviously struck a nerve with you somehow. Either you have a fettish for smelly yankee twat or you too are the result of a pack rape. Its either one or the other, but Im guessin that you are the result of the pack rape, its just your case is different to most pack rapes where a child is born as a result.

You see everyone ELKs father was the rape victim and after he had his ugly ass penetrated by a dozen black gangsters, the ELK was conceived. Amazing really to think the ELK started as a little cum infested sloppy shit and developed into the nerd that he is today.

I only have one question for you elk, how did you find your way into a place as good as thailand???? Did you think it was the only way you were ever going to get laid????? Pity it didnt work out that way, have you thought about trying a blow up sex doll, or are you afraid that will run away too.

You poor simple fool.

Anyway, I should take pity on you really and wish you the seasons best !

Liu Bei says:

Prufrock: "I submit that since "the rest" of WWII's history has been de-classified for years, "

"The rest?" Do tell... Is this where the conspiracy theories fly in? Or are you referring to a certain general's comments that if the US were the losing side, he'd be a war criminal? Nonetheless bombs were dropped well before 1944 when the Japanese still had some fight in 'em.

As for Mr. Powell, he's a good man. Thus he HAD to go.

Liu Bei says:

Common Sense: " Saeb,
Being slaughtered in droves is hardly an accomplishment worth bragging about. Maybe it is our philisophy on war that reduces our casualties."

There are some unsubtleties here that are being missed (shockingly, given the astuteness usually on display at MS).

Firstly, yes, American military doctrine has a lot to do with reduced casualties. The (over)simplified version is pound the piss out of them with artillery and then walk in. Compare and contrast the Aussies who will creep up and slit their throats. In the Vietnam war the Aussies and Koreans were feared, with good reason. Which is more effective? Depends on the mission.

On the British side, massive casualties to certain commonwealth countries' units and not others is a simple and obvious matter of preferential treatment. They put you guys in the nasty spots.

The US has done its share of that, as well--if you doubt this, google "442nd Monte Cassino" for example. (And note also that these guys were off getting maimed while their wives were in concentration camps as alleged national security threats.)

As to the prototypical US-driven quagmire, the Vietnam war--I know I'm oversimplifying but was choosing to back the Catholics in Vietnam.. IN VIETNAM a genius plan or what?

IHTFP 04 says:

Saeb,

Yeah, momma might have dropped me on the head... still, few things are more satisfying than seeing the melon of a common thug who has killed schoolchildren and pregnant women for a living blow up under a few dozen or so 7.62mm rounds (and ergo having the local children thank you for re-opening their soccerfield.)

Prufrock,

Your story is just a wee bit too poetic... France vs. Texas? "Fucking 'Go time?,'" "Sabat" kick?

Christ, why are you wasting your time here? Why aren't you in Hollywood?

Jean Pierre says:

Allo, allo,

I am Jean- Pierre, I am skinny ass Frenchman from France. I was near de Therma a few weeks ago with my boyfriend Jean-Claude when I got my ass kicked.

I told them “be careful I am French Legion Etranger poofta battalion”. But my ass it was kicked.

Fuck. I am so sad.

Captain Custard says:

Prufork – Aussies best military in the world???

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU KIDDING?????

I was an officer in the British army, and I AM an Officer in the Australian Army.

No comparison. Utter BOLLOCKS!

Captain Custard

Captain Custard says:

Prufork:

You can JOIN the Australian Army at 53!!! You can be a grey haired retiree from some public service office and join up, then serve to 60…

You can be obese. Horribly fucking obese. They now take fat gutbuckets.

You can be a druggie. Sponge like brain? Step right up, just try not to fall over on parade and hurt yourself.

Asthma? No fucking problem, bring your oxygen tank with you.

Not the full quid? No fucking problem. No one will notice.

Criminal record? No fucking problem, fit right in. We just charged a Sergeant for selling anti tank missiles to a fuckin Arab.

Why – well no one is joining up. My Company is 6 men (seriously) and one of them is off sick most days. It should be 120 men. We need 8000 new soldiers a year, and we get 3000.

Mate, I know this army pretty well cos I lead part of it. We couldn’t stop a girl guide troop in open country.

PS – I am thinking of leaving…

Captain Custard

Prufrock says:

Custard

And you're, um, telling ME all this for what reason, exactly ???

Prufrock

Saeb says:

Now, now - did I say that being slaughtered is an....etc..etc.

For goodness sakes do please check your Ladybird Book of Early Learning Reading.
Did I not mention the "War To End All Wars" ?.
Tsk, tsk.
Anyway - do tell please - how many Brit,French or Oz squaddies have been prosececuted for the random murders and rapes of Iraq civilians?.

Errrmmm ......Zero.
US figures please?. No pending but already convicted?.
Thanks.
Check some available info.
The least professional military on the planet deciding Baa Heid Bush's doctrine.
Scary -eh?.
The ignorant led by the insane.

Common Sense: " Saeb,
Being slaughtered in droves is hardly an accomplishment worth bragging about. Maybe it is our philisophy on war that reduces our casualties

Prufrock says:

Liu Bei

Well, yeah, ok ok, yeah, Japan.
I was forgetting those few pokes at Japan. And that WAS complex. Not any more clear cut than the America First stuff in the West.
Those horrendous Pacific Theatre land and sea campaigns once the war got rolling and the poor folks that got killed in them were not under discussion. But you got the point.
You know what my point was.
The issue was pre-emptive assaults.

Surely you're not suggesting that even with the release of volumes of unclassified material, anything contradicting the official Steve Spielbergian canon is out of line. You're not really saying that are you?
Private Ryan. Tom Hanks. Indianna Jones?

It's simply appalling when you examine the list of basket-case puppet regimes where the US installed or propped up slaughterhouse gangsters and Nazis to keep US corporate interests appeased. Multinationals with no national agenda but their own having been calling the plays for over a century.
Goooogen, Liu Bei.

Who is currently being kept happy by these corporate interests? You average American citizen?

Don't do "conspiracy theory, Liu Bei." It's just so, you know, "grassy knoll triangulation/magic bullet/multiple shooters" to use that old spluge.
. . . . . so 43 years ago.

You know as well as anyone what's currently available in the mainstream.
Stuff that was classified for 30 years. Why was it ever classified for more than 10?
If I can stomach "sexy" Ann and listen to "Pills" and Fox you can check out a few of those "hippy" archival de-classifications.

Looking into this declassified stuff is like picking a huge scab.

Hey, Whaterya reeedin nat fer, uuuuuh?

Dicer says:

Some of us can only take so much of comments and detail. If you concentrate long on any topic (that not many are interested in) they don't want to hear the detail. The oft repeated remark is to make a quick point and stop. And what happens when I want to go into detail. Does it really mean I want to be eagerly read? No. What it means is none of these individuals want to go into detail... detail is too complex for simplistic banter and detail adds credence to a growing point that is like pouring ammonia down a clogged drain. Being read is never the objective here. The diversity of comments and language is. One can read comments from certain characters in certain threads while skipping or skimming their stuff in others. Besides most of the stuff is easily forgettable. The best that can be achieved is a vague impression of a poster. So why length bothers them is beyond me. Precision and conciseness are not the hallmarks of this medium anyway. Even if they were, the anarchic style prevails over prescripted rules of writerly conduct. So says I, write as many words as you can. Write anything. And repeat yourself as often as you can. And in keeping with Thai tradition let us make as many digressions as possible.

...

Now I was going to end it right above...then I thought - yes I do that now and then...and I shockingly managed to use the pronoun "I" four times in one sentence - I thought, what is it that makes these individuals think length matters above all else.

TK's statement would have us anticipate a direction of a post, by studying the previous statements of those who have said what needs to be said, and began instinctively to withdraw into a less literal world where they might do work which a machine could not imitate. As they move to a more purer, private expression of their own and look down at the Road Natzis of MS - who can blame them - we rest assured that they only come out rarely from their cloistered avocation at demanding moments of truth, to make pronouncements that ought not, according to the writer at least, be taken lightly. For the present, however, let me remind ye that you are not alone in the violence, the bar fight lores, the lengthy ripostes...to redress the balance you can write as much as you want, like I'm doing here and in that act you can touch and be touched, and for but a moment forget your fate. Isn’t that a relief at least for one? But remember, the scale of things here is very very small so not much is altered.

This does not mean to say that those who have altogether rejected authority (some here), parted with their cousin-german the superior wordsmith, should scoff at all type of scripture-like rulebook they believe muffles their overzealous desire to share their awareness of life's minutiae to us to antiseptic ends.

The sentiment of a concise literary heaven although a perennial state of mind in search of a cheerful yet stern conception of life in fewer words is nothing, but a sentiment as literary heavens go, if only because the literary heaven is as various as there are men in mangosauce who dream of it and just as many are the scriveners to evoke that dream in as many words as they wish.

Pants Elk says:

I only read my own comments anyway. I'm reading this one right now.

Liu Bei says:

Prufrock, you missed the boat, the ocean and most likely the planet.

Feel free to rant on about all this 'insider knowledge' you claim to be aware of, and attribute any Speilbergian notions you want to me. If putting words in my mouth helps you on your ham-handed rants, knock yourself out.

And yes of course you have my permission to make any assumption you want about my political leanings--after all, you will anyway, I might as well consent.

By "conspiracy theory" I was specifically inquiring as to whether you were one of the dipshits claiming Roosevelt knew of and allowed the Pearl Harbor attack to further US ambitions in the Pacific. That you can attribute all these other values to me based on a couple of posts (which had a couple of asides that didn't fit in with the value system you've assigned me, btw) is worse than appalling--it's tedious.

Rant on, I'll add you to the skip list. Road Natzi is more entertaining. As for whether anyone's entertained by my posts, or even reads 'em? Don't care. I'm only here coz if i spend too long on playstation I get cramps in my fingers.

Prufrock says:

Dicer. I, for one, enjoy your posts.
I just wish you'd write more clearly.
Structure (shorter paragraphing), attribution to antecedent, and punctuation are the larger stumbling blocks to their quick efficient comprehension.

We all slip up.
But some effort in regards to at least some of these basic literary conventions would be a courtesy to those who wish to access your insights and information.

Or is just seeing them up here enough for you? That would be unfair to us who enjoy them.

Regards

Prufrock

Common Sense says:

Saeb,
Just how many Brit, French, and Oz soldiers are in Iraq.

Brit 6,000
French 0
Oz 1,000
U.S. 146,000.

Unfortunately were not robots, when you recruit from society, you sometimes get societies ills. But the 2 rapes out of the nearly million U.S. soldiers that have served in Iraq pales in comparison to the national per capita number of rapes per-100,000 citizens of any country. Don't try to skew statistics in your favor jackass. As far as innocents killed, it happens, although seldomly intentional. Don't buy into the propoganda. Put on some boots, pick up a gun and go see for yourself, I have and I say bullshit. Can you tell me what the insurgents uniform looks like?

Pruf,
I would dare to say 'conspiracy theorist' sums up your rationale pretty well. That and you seem to have a lot of estrogen. Still waiting to hear about that armbar. Chicken shit.

Prufrock says:

Saeb
Either he's one of these Neo-con astro-turfers (GOP "talking-points" and all) or this poor chap actually doesn't read very well.
When he does and he happens to find facts in your post which are "biased" to his training/or his pre-conceived notions or standard 'Merkin shibboleth or whatever passed for his education and upbringing Common simply re-frames/re-writes them and spouts on from there.

Sadly, thanks to 'Merkin "squawk radio" this brand of ersatz reasoning is what currently passes for debate in his world.

Jean Pierre says:

Allo,

you must stop staring me now. Or i kick off sandals and get angry.

Pleeze not hit me again pleeze.

Prufrock says:

bob opined:
correct .levianathanic posts are skipped and go unread
Perhaps this is what you do but I am curious as to how you and a few others here could possibly know anyone else's Mango Sauce reading habits unless they asked.
True, some, like you, might have a clear preference for sound-bite posts over the in-depth ones (not ALL lengthy ones are readable - different strokes) but it does not follow that these longer ones remain unread.

Lack of response can mean many things including the matter at hand being settled, response under consideration, no response. But that does not in any way confirm they're not being read.
On what measureable data would you base this pronouncement?
Perhaps you know something most of the rest of us do not know.

Prufrock says:

IHTFP boasted: few things are more satisfying than seeing the melon of a common thug who has killed school children and pregnant women for a living blow up under a few dozen or so 7.62mm rounds
Nice re-frame job. "thug" is that you're word or the battallion psychologist trying to help you sleep.
Obviously you're still trying to convince yourself you murdered the right guy.
It must be great to posess the wisdom and the evidence that the man you are executing is indeed the guilty one.
No need to examine evidence. You can just murder someone in cold blood on hearsay.
Go time. "thug" "mellon" "blow up" "waste" You kill people because you have nothing else to do, "hero"
What a thrill it must be. Didja get wood?
Afer that there is no turning back, is there. You have to convince yourself that he's the bad guy. Yeah, get some kids to tell ya. Get anybody to tell ya.

600,000 "bad guys" Some as young as 1 day old.
What a bunch of heroes.
Neither poetic nor literary nor anything but barbaric stupidity not unlike the supposed barbarity of the sectarian maniacs you are fighting. At least they have a reason to be there.
Saddam did a better job than you're doing of keeping that shit-hole together.

Dicer says:

When a knowing chap likes a hooker and wants to take her to his home in another town:

THE CUTE CHIN BUG

This one discerning friend found a super cute college grad Chinese tart in one of the Pattaya sois. She used to be a nurse working in one of the Payathai hospitals. Once the sao hit 26 (quasi adult age in LOS) she realised she doesn't want to slave in a job with limited prospects, little pay and among people she didn't get along with so what did she do. She and a colleague (they never do anything alone do they) quit their nursing jobs and moved to Pattaya to look for possible farang beaus. She had said she attached herself as a freelancer (without salary) to one of the beer bars for safety reasons. My mate picked her out from the sea of hopeful lao faces. Completely out of place. What was a diminutive Chinese tartlet (Taichew no less) doing in a place like this he wondered. After the obligatory beer he took her back to sample the goods. On a reluctant second day he made his mind up to have her visit him regularly at his hotel. He said she was well behaved and dressed like a typical bkk office girl would in weekends.

A week on he floated the idea of going upcountry - where he lives - for a 10 day fun. She was ecstatic. Pondering the idea further he flew north and kept in touch with her. Then the moment of truth came. The dilemma crept in whether he should keep her in a rented box for those ten days or put her up in his apartment. What trouble could follow if he took her to his apartment? So he called Attila for advice and what did I say. First off rent a place close to where you live and put her up there. I said tell her you can’t take _someone_ who is not a girlfriend or wife to your residence as all your office people live in the same moo baan. So you establish propriety (or the face of it) to put her exactly where she belongs: A temp mia noi in a box for fun. That way you provide the rules and you decide when you've had enough. Secondly, get a copy of her ID and keep it. Tell her the place you rented wants it. Thirdly, do a quick override of her plans. She may have friends or cousins up here so override her if she wants to take you to a village shack. Tarts keep track of friends especially working in a bar or an office and have connections around. As they can suddenly come out of the woodwork like cockroaches to form a pack you override the plan from the start.

This creates a kind of hard and fast structure she'd have to accept quickly, no thinking and no deliberation. It's like when you tell them three different things at once, one past, one present, one future the neural pathways slowly start to process 1 then 2, you proceed to act in the ensuing confusion. If you give her time to think in your languid agony you're cooked. She has a design for you, said I.

He went along with this method and prepared accordingly. The one revealing thing she had told him was that if her family found out she was hookering her brother would chop her head off. What with them being Chinese there is honour and face to consider. Conversely if it was a central Thai tart the brother would probably show up to demand some of the proceeds from the hookering. In cute bug's case father is Taichew on one side and Hainan on the other, pre Rama V immigrants and mother is from a northern province, not Chinese. Upon hearing this I thought, it has to be the Hainan thing which explains the freelance arrangement - a sub peasant race in China so no big deal to marry an outsider. Later on after meeting the tart I said she looked more Chinese and the mind too was all Chinese. The point is Chinese will race right into a bar to do what? Accounting and managing. They do not work the bar (unless jeen haw captured from the border and stuck in some Thai military brothel in bkk) and definitely no freelance. They have mae seu to find them a correct marriage partner or will work two jobs to pay off stuff. They usually plan. This is why I found this little Pattaya bug story interesting. The Chin culture/behaviour is at variance with that of Issan or Central freelancers.

So, right right I said and continued to listen to the Pattaya bug story. Cultural differences aside the geezer was ready for some fun in his home turf with a cute as a bug diminutive Chinese. And this called for a concrete plan to mitigate the known hazards. We set up his plan and started on hers. I said the tartlet was probably on her adventure channel as the nesting gene kicked in (at 26) wondering whether she might get a man or not. We agreed on this. A week later she took the bus up north to meet him.

After a smooth ten day fun of upcountry walks, night outs, idle afternoons not to mention copious quantity of sex it was quit time. He bought her the return bus ticket the day before departure, but kept it in his wallet till the last minute before she boarded bus. He took her to the bus station said bye gave her the ticket...and NO MONEY. The total cost he said was 700 baht for her VIP ticket while 10 days entertainment and food cost around 6,000 for the both of them. She did not ask for money as well. To wit: The ones who have been around too much are the ones that want that final payoff, whereas in this case she was keen to continue the illusion of romance.

DOG WHISPERING

Facilitating the psuedo romance meant dog tricks. First dog trick was to tell her when she first arrived that this trip was HER holiday and not a Pattaya WORK deal. So the experiment was began and completed in a no cash, but affectionate note.

Dog Trick Two was a fantastic cognitive ploy: I suggested he gives her various reasons why he does not like northern girls, why he does not like central girls, southern girls, Issan girls, bkk Chinese girls and after a while she said..."so what kind of girl DO you LIKE". His reply:" well you'll have to wait and see.. for now a polite girl with some little brain would do. Her face blinked in thought. You send in two master CODES into her bug computer: polite which is enormous and thinking which is a new item. Of course he did doubles on her to make sure it went in like a metaphor to zoom around for months. Great stuff. Another point to this: keeping her unsure restrains her behaviour which meant she paid more heed to what he did and said; give her a wider ground and she can easily take over. For instance when ordering food he'd ask her what it was and she'd say you'll see when it comes. He replies: don’t order something you cannot describe. They're used to ordering any one of their crap and expect the Waldo to scoff it up like fodder. Not in this case.

While having a little bug next to him 24 hrs a day was exhausting, he said it was interesting overall. As we suspected this cute Chin bug was obviously fishing. The trip up north is what we call test run. The girls will give you around a week to test how much you stick to your A plan. She checks all the crevices of the A plan to find the weak spot. She knows it's there. Is it bed companionship, hesitation or what?

Dog Trick Three: He asked Attila what other questions to ask her and I suggested EITHER OR scenarios. Would she prefer to be a mia noi with a salary or a wife with a nagging and jealous husband? As long as he looks after me a husband is better. How long is she going to hooker in Pattaya? Until she finds another hospital job. How many men have done her? Now this question shatters all illusion of romance and normality so she protested. Why does it matter to you? I deal with each day as it comes. Not least: I don’t keep a tab was the last answer. Understandably most men, even those who visit Pattaya pretend to the bitter end that there were not 386 men plus several soi feral on the queue before they arrived on the scene while the tart similarly eager to dispel any notion of inquisitive hookering accountancy by the possible beau slips into the pretense gf mode.

As anyone not pretending is apt to agree any kind of arrangement with rice hookers or village maidens is always fraught with the unusual and the risky. Then one proceeds to other worries like catching the clap or other bugs. The pretend people of course jump straight from meeting her at the bar to marriage so no wonder they end up in the idiot status. These walking mythos you'd like to chase out of society, but they are too amusing and occupy a place in the spectrum useful for illustrative purposes. If you were in Kansas it'd be unlikely to bump into them as they'd be outside one's social perimeter. In mutant land however it is a different matter.

NEUTERED MEN IN DESPERATION

In a later conversation we concluded that somewhere at sometime this cute little Pattaya bug would be fine for someone. This is an age situation. At his age (40-) she could be a mia noi. The man reaches 44 a mia noi for sure. At 54 maybe a mia chao and at 64 a taker, come on honey, here's my ATM, over 65 any slapper will do and at 75 you can't even see the tattoos. My interest here is to keep on measuring the impact of one’s neurosis/psychosis on interpreting intimacy implied and distance kept by village tarts. What makes the gophers suddenly flip into the intimacy mode and go for nesting with anything...even merde mutants is a curious study of mental maladjustment. Even when one finds an okayish tartlet like this one to only have the ulterior motive seeping through the cracks reported by the fella it confirms that despondent feeling one always knows is there. You look back and say, that could have been fun for him, but in the end there is a nasty aftertaste left to the whole thing. There is always an ulterior motive and the hard unalterable fact is that only desperation makes mutants village tarts deal with foreigners. Given the chance they'd rather you're not around here at all. The problem is the tart agenda and not a level playing ground.

Life also knows as the Universe is playing with you to see if you can figure it out. For the men circling around in Thailand it is about a lifetime of desperation, like the old Brit who at 48 would not come out of Patpong 2 bars because he liked to chat the ladies. He was mousy looking and was chatless like others. After years of going to the Holiday Inn on weekends and having junior high drop outs on welfare with 2 kids and a beaten up Datsun in the parking lot say NO to a dance or a beer your average yank Saxon also becomes despondent. He looks around the US bar and there would be every divorced professional guy in town getting the same thing. lawyers, doctors, engineers, you name it all pathetically trying to look hip in middle age crisis with the gold pendants and open rainbow silk shirts. The bling of them years. He then staggers back in his own life only to find at a gym all the young muscle guys get exactly the same treatment and he spots them getting shot down by the same hopeless hapless awful 23 year old women. These women either speed thin (the drug) or are hugely overweight, have stringing bad hair and smoke cigarettes like Bogart in a bad mood. The neutered men had to adore these terrible slappers and wait year after year for them to say OK to a beer. Sometimes if they got drunk enough they might dance with one of the disco studs that would show up, Travolta types, but not often. They prefer to get drunk pass out and puke than have an evening with anyone of the men. Once in Victoria, BC, Brit soldiers, Irish and Canucks were about to brawl in a pub when I mentioned BKK and then they all listened with tears in their eyes as I explained all you had to do was call out a number and a cutie marched right out the door with you. An Irish guy did break down in tears and said so far he's saved up 3 years for his trip to BKK...he was 26 and good looking.

So this calls for a bit of compassion. I have seen French sailors bamboozled and they are sometimes the worst. Just as naive are men of all ages and places: Serbians, Croats, ex-KGB Russians, NY punks. Everyone gets sucked into this stuff and they fold like summer chairs when the dream village tarts sulk and pout. Deny any man years of anything near female companionship and the first chance he gets he'd dive like an Okinawa kamikaze at a US battleship.

VILLAGE TARTS WITH 6 YEAR OLD BRAINS

I'm usually in search of case studies and dabbling at a distance.... watching the Waldos tick in the game of sexual selection. Watch the wheel of evolution super mutating the already mutated and blending with the lowest form of barbarians.. As I was never attentive in my school chemistry lessons I'm making up for lost time. Dog psychology and the Cesar stuff takes a lot of work. Of course in these cases there's no choice.

One other acquaintance had his Chiang Rai girl going nuts by the time he got home from a long day teaching at Chula. She'd drag him all over, out to eat, to see films. He was so tired he looked as if he was in a trance. She had no sense, just wanted to be constantly entertained.

This is the sum: spoiled 6 year old child and amen, because that is the national bottom line. When not getting spoiled by some Waldo, it is sulk time.

...

TART COGNITIVE CAPSULE

Actually after the Chin Bug story we figured out a kind of tech plan. Get a game board with steering and 1000 games, hook it up and hook up the hooker on the hookup and turn it ON. Off she goes. Then have a huge fridge with all the frozen mutant snacks right there for the family visits. You can also get all family members the computer with camera. "Hi mom, how is the buffalo?"

Sure you end up looking like Dr Strangelove in his last bunker. I think someone could package and market an assembled whole unit. Live Tart Capsules. Hawk them at expat meetings. We could include a Cesar tart sulk ante chamber. This is filled with nice smells (20 kinds of shampoo to open on one wall) pictures of cartoon animals on the walls, and a magneto carpet that reverses bipolar flip outs. For the overly sexed we have a pump capsule with 2000 various machine zapping dildos. Woody Allen has all done it before. In his slapstick Sleepers the orgasmatron is an electromechanical device which shows the effects of a related device, an orgasmic orb. Mutant Tart Capsule can be a device with similar effect, but applied to craftier purposes. It might get to the point that the unit has an outside area where you read a newspaper and occasionally have a look through an observation window. You may never have to go in again. The little woman is just fine, you would tell neighbours.

Tarts throw themselves at you body and tricks. Shepherding them takes day and night. Dog Psychology is of course fine for quick fixits, but not for a modus operandi, unless you have nothing better to do than tend to mutant genes.

A SALES BANTER

Shampoo Room and 1000 games to play:

Sir, you need a tart capsule
huh
well you are having trouble with your tart
huh
well she's humping my leg right now
oh well yeah
shouldn't you do something about it?
um...I guess
so you need a tart capsule
what'll it do?
keep your tart busy
oh I see
then instead of humping my leg she could be humping this nice plastic elephant
elephant
yes an elephant
who are you?
I am the tart capsule man
what is a tart capsule?
I just told you
told me what
about the tart capsule
what's that?
(this guy could be like one of those forest people who carry conversation in a repeat redo manner or could simply serve as a polymorphic value for most of the foreign men in Thailand)

Common Sense says:

Prufrock,
You are quite possibly the most FLACCID worthless CUNT to have ever soiled the pages of Mango Sauce.

You are, and never will be, nothing more than an armchair critic. You will never be wrong in anything you do because you lack the intestinal fortitude to do anything. You are a man of inaction who sits in his chair and passes judgment on those who at least make an effort. You are just another critic sitting on your perch in the bleachers spouting off about how the players on the field should have done this or how the managers should have chose that. Hindsight is your forte to pass judgment upon others, not experience.

On the other hand, you have men of action. Something you know nothing about. These men will step onto a battlefield, or make decisions that affect others lives. They are not always right, but at least they HAVE TRIED. They rely on the hindsight of experience to make future decisions. They learn how to take action through TRYING.

I will value the opinion of a man of action any day over a scumbag critic. In this regard even Saeb has more credibility than you do since he is an "ex mil person". At least Saeb took action at one point in his life, though he did not like what he saw. Although different, his opinion carries some weight with me.

You on the other hand, have never tried, never experienced, and therefore have never had the responsibility of making decisions that could be right or wrong. You merely decide whether others decisions were right or wrong using hindsight as your reasoning. That leads you to believe that you are always right. Well in your mind anyways.

If you know so well, put on a uniform or enter the political arena. Oh shit I forgot, that would require you to take action.

Prufrock says:

Liu Bei.
My writing was perhaps a bit sloppy.
I meant no attributions as to your opinions on geopolitical matters. I still have an impression that they are more or less moderate.
I can see how this this may have come up
and I do not "re-frame". Wastes time.
I slip up like everyone else in this medium but I do not "put words in people's mouths".

the Speilberg thing was an unsuccessful bit of shorthand but you got the point.
my references to talk radio stars were in the same vein (clumsy shorthand)

feel free to rant on about all this 'insider knowledge' (never had any, never will - I just do my research)

you were one of the dipshits claiming Roosevelt knew of and allowed the Pearl Harbor attack to further US ambitions in the Pacific

(this is declassified, attributed and available in print on the web and more or less cofirmed by academic historians. Neither these people nor I are dipshits. The vast majority of people on this board are not dipshits.)

As for whether you care if anyone reads your posts, well, I think we both know that's kind of missing the point.
You certainly had something to say to me. And you said it.

Road Natzi remark was excessively cruel.
Put down your Playstation thingy and say you're sorry.

Prufrock says:

I figure you must be getting paid to do this.
What on earth are you on about now, Neocon Astro-turfer?
Oh yeah, men of action.
Guys like you.
Tools.

J.A.P.

Prufrock says:

Allo,

you must stop staring me now. Or i kick off sandals and get angry.

Pleeze not hit me again pleeze.

Posted by Jean Pierre | December 21, 2006 8:40 AM

Damn skid marks
Few swipes of that bowl brush . . .

Pants Elk says:

Prufers! Do calm down. It's only the internet.

divad says:

Jackanory prufrock is a serious nutter with some severe mental health problems. He needs to get to a doctor soon. I just hope I dont bump into him before he does.

Andy says:

I quite enjoyed the Macchiavellian bar-fining exploits and strategies of our mate Dicer up there^^.
It was worth wading through the endless dust and dust-ups of other men-of-action to catch a few pearls on a slow afternoon.
Thanks. ;-)

Prufrock says:

Hmm yes. Good God!
Actually read a few of my own posts.
See what you mean.
Extreme.

Anonymous says:

Ooow, it eees right, ze skeeed mark is a sign of being a Frenchman. we sheet our panties lots when me meet ze beeeg Amrican....

Prufrock says:

Dicer
Very entertaining posts today. Super info.
Sweet day in the markets.
Mango Sauce?
Most EXCELLENT stress reliever.
As always.
Sorry for the mess.
A bientot.

Common Sense says:

Dicer,
That was a great post. I got a little bleary eyed there towards the end as I think you set a new record for length. But all in all great info and entertainment.

Pruf,
I could dumb it down for you a bit if you would like.

On the subject of your conspiracy theory about Roosevelt, yes there was a Marine officer who predicted the Japs would attack Pearl Harbor at the exact same time and day of the week. That prediction was made nearly 20 years before the actual event though. Many military officers agreed with this assesment based on military logic and tactics. Unfortunately, without actionable intelligence of an impending attack it would have been a waste of time to be on full alert for 20 years. Thats not a conspiracy. The Marine officer who made the prediction drank himself to death sometime before the attack after being took to the cleaners by his whore wife(just a bit of additional info).

Just to set the record straight, I am not the annoying French guy posting here. But feel free to flush him away. Still waiting to hear about that armbar.

Eniac says:

I must join the chorus of approval for Dicer's latest.

We Mango Sauce goldfish have a longer attention span than some give us credit for.

TANAI KWAI says:

I knew I should have responded more timely.

At the risk of a bonhomie overload, there are a number of startlingly good writers here (you know who you are). We even have a 25 year-old in Common Sense who is well on the road to becoming a credit to his race. A comparison to similar boards tends toward the grotesque.

Saul Bellow is said to have taunted, "If the Zulus have a Tolstoy I would love to read him." In the same haughty spirit I ask, "If ThaiVisa has a Dicer, let him shoot me an unabridged missive in a stainless steel tube deposited in a vacuum chute from his sensory deprivation chamber to dazzle me!"

To clarify, it is not so much length as it is sloppiness and laziness that offends this goldfish. Prufrock's posts are well taken in this regard.

I will endeavor never again to cite inordinate length as a basis for complaint as it brings out the Rebel Rebel (and the humbling best) in Dicer.

(w.)

Prufrock says:

Common Sense, krup
All good, dude.
We can straighten out the arm bar mystery at a later date if you like.
I'll cop to a penchant for "purple prose", and we can leave there till later. Love it when I'm in the mood.

I am not particularly proud some of the language I used with you. Pants was right. It's only the internet. Others in the room were kind enough to hint that as well. Thanks to them.

I have friends from all over the political spectrum. Some guys who hold the same views as I can't stand for any longer than it takes to say. Noam Chomsky.
So there you are

I'll just end it here hefore things get too warm and fuzzy.

But you have a good Christmas.

regards
Prufrock

Prufrock says:

Tanai Kwai, krup

(Bonhomie overload alert squawking like the "place-is-gonna-blow-up-any-minute" alarm in the early Connery Bonds) But hey it's the office party so what the f*ck :-)

Your cautions as well as your good-will are a beacon of what's good in this "note on-the-milk-bottle" mediuum.

Merry Christmas to you as well Tanai Kwai.

regards
Prufrock

Common Sense says:

Prufrock,
It seems the yule tide spirit has hit us all. Never any hard feelings as this is the internet. Part of it's charm. Don't worry about the language though, due to my occupation I'm rather used to hearing four letter words. I'm also rather foul mouthed myself( I think I'm the only poster to ever have had a comment deleted by David for too many expletives). I'll be out celebrating the holdays for the next few days, so I probably won't be posting as much. We can pick up full steem where we left off next week though. I'm just dying to hear about this armbar.

Happy holidays to all, and more importantly, Happy Shagging.

Common Sense says:

Tanai,
Just one quick question. I appreciate the compliment, but I was wondering if you perhaps meant 'credit to my generation" rather than "credit to my race". Just struck me as odd that you chose to say race here when I'm a colorless phantom at the opposite end of a internett link.

On a side note here,
I find it odd that a rather innocuous article about a BKK newbie and the occupational hazards of the flesh trade turned into quite possibly the longest thread on Mango Sauce. Mostly stemming from me saying that I once got my pecker wet by a seniorita after spending a year in Iraq.

God only knows what this thread would have become if I had thrown in the part about her giving me the clap. lol

Road Natzi says:

You just crack me up children, crack me up.......now lets just try and find something useful to do with you all !!

Don't worry about my comments prufrock, although they may seem cruel, you should be most concerned with my intentions.

Anyway, I must be off, mother nature is calling and I want to go give birth to another Pants Elk.

xx

Dicer says:

Common Sense, I can understand the bleary eyes mean you're suffering me. It's just that I've always rooted more for the whisky induced expansiveness of say a Peter Ustinov rather than the V8 cleansed terse wit of - for lack of a better name - Bob Hope. That TK would choose to mention Tolstoy, at least on the subject of a vast output is apt. As Woody Allen once said (I'm taking liberty here quoting him again as his picture is on this page), "I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia." I kindly suggest those who happen at the interminable output of this fella to do the same.

Tanai, yes, while the Thai Visa chaps in the flood plains are preoccupied with commercially ineluctable topics such as the trade in canned tuna or dam building I feel what we need here is more engagement to the outer world. And stories. Let's out the griots inside free.

And Prufrock, all familiar accouterments aside the brawl story is delightful while the endless protest as to its truth is not. But it's there regardless.

There is among us no diva of sufficient importance to act as touchstone to guiding judgment. We are all "a near-misses", lost legions drowned in Smileland's soft buzz and murmur. Given the seasonal flood of posts and the miniscule ripples which continue to assault an indifferent coastline, however, one always appreciates the odd nod of approbation (as I do here).

Also mangosauce's alkaloid that has of late received its tangy flavour with the surge of voices, like the capacious (or is it capricious?) Prufrock, and those whom David calls "refugees", give this forum some headway which is to be complemented, lest some of them become sclerotic, abort young into a second exile and leave the devoted few lashed to the mast. The door to the MS deck remaining open even to the irrelevance of new attempts is a good sight just the same.

On the same note the newly literate like Natzi and those still awed by the typed word may fill giddy with excitement. And Grunt will still try to draw us "lady Dicer's" ovulation chart. Each of the many remaining old goldfish here who holds behind his ready face the coiled wit of a one-liner is blameless.

At the bottom of the barrel (yes there is a barrel) are those who stray too much into showing excessive and impudent shimmys, if not thoughts....eventually receive the mangosauce equivalent of the ultimate in Roman prize to irresistible comedians: an inescapable warm bath with open veins. And on their fermented graves we (affecting to be the Praetorian Guard) will do the togaed dance.

It seems to me that no idea that runs counter to the prevailing winds can successfully penetrate the neural carapace here nor does it change the course of the ship. The tide remains in and the course is set. The charts have long been explicit as we are not the first to make the LOS voyage out here. (I think the water metaphor here is overflowing haha).

Lastly a note of anyone who claims he doesn't have much time to read anything here. Perhaps he means he wants to shrink into his own skin for more pressing matters like shagging the tart that was paid for. Without going into a swelling throbbing rhetoric when someone insists on making that unavoidable connection between time and sex, Heavens grant his abused mind and body one more chance, I can only visualise an immense sea of time with a giant phallus gravely poking at the corner of it.

Dicer says:

Common Sense, that was a good point. I find the assumption that only white barbarian Saxons loiter about here a tad uncomfortable. Maybe TK meant it as in the term "human race." Then the language context wont add up. No matter.

Jean Pierre says:

But ay aaam seeek of peeeple heeting me in le bars.

I am French foriegn Legionaire ass keeker, but ay geet meey asss keeked.

Prufrock says:

Note to all
This would be a primo example of what I've often referred to as "reframing".

To wit: the lovely and talented "Road Worker" has hi-jacked my (admittedly) superficial and craven (albeit sincere) effort at damage control in the tragic Khun Liu Bei/Pearl Harbor matter.
(An unfortunate crossing of wills which nobody with any Common Sense wishes to pursue any further, so which I, nonetheless, re-post below)

(Your) Road Natzi remark was excessively cruel.
Put down your Playstation thingy and say you're sorry.

Posted by Prufrock | December 21, 2006 1:00 PM

I was merely alluding to what amounted to an overly hurtful smear on Liu Bei's part. He knew where he could cause the most pain - by direct comparison to you.
And-He-Most-Certainly-Did
Gawd that hurt.

I assure you Road Bun, you have no Chit Tsu in this silly tiff, which hopefully will just blow over as tempers cool down and reason and common sense prevail in this most festive . . . . . . . huh? oh!

Good God!

What's that noise?
(Someone at the door)

Barrett! Is that you !??
(BLAM!> BLAM!> BLAM!>)

Gawd. How I miss that Sticky Fingers submission site, sigh. Lord knows Bangkok is no poet's city. What's a poor lyric-boy to do?
(farts quietly to himself)

TANAI KWAI says:

Re: Aspiring to be a "credit to one's race."

While I don't make much of it here at Mango Sauce, I maintain one of the largest collections of Hattie McDaniel paraphernalia in the world, including all but one of the original headscarves she donned during the filming of "Gone With The Wind" (in addition to several priceless unmentionables I acquired through studio contacts). Indeed, the guest bungalow at my Bangna estate was recently converted into a repository for approximately 1100 salt-and-pepper shakers bearing Ms. McDaniel's likeness. And so, I must apologize to Common Sense for selfishly employing him as a foil to interlineate a tribute to this screen icon. CS, I am sorry and take this opportunity to thank you for your service.

"Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, fellow members of the motion picture industry and honored guests: This is one of the happiest moments of my life, and I want to thank each one of you who had a part in selecting for one of the awards, for your kindness. It has made me feel very, very humble; and I shall always hold it as a beacon for anything that I may be able to do in the future. I sincerely hope I shall always be a credit to my race and to the motion picture industry. My heart is too full to tell you just how I feel, and may I say thank you and God bless you."

--Hattie McDaniel's Acceptance Speech delivered on January 29, 1940 at the 12th Annual Academy Awards.

It will come as an equally exciting surprise to some of you that -- far from being a white Barbarian saxon -- I am actually, as hot Jew comic Sarah Silverman would say, "a filthy Mexican"... AND a cousin of none other than Cesar Milan!!! (gasp)

I would have written a mu-u-uch longer post but I am presently squiring my tsunami of a BKK girlfriend around Dallas tonight in anticipation of a thoroughly disorienting/disasiantating Xmas with the family. Holy Christ. "Worlds collide." Then back to LOSmirks.

I wish you all a safe and pleasantly uneventful holiday and a profitable new year if we don't convene for a while.

Best,
TK

Grunt says:

Ok, dicer (and alternate nicks) having yet another discussion with herself.

Zzz...

Prufrock says:

Common's Standing Arm Bar
I've long ceased to care if my account is belived but here in answer to those of us on this board who appreciate a little violence with their sex if what I call Common Sense's arm bar
The more sober the opponent, the more challenging the move. One might not even attempt this on someone with all his faculties. This is the option set that I saw. This set up can be affected after the opponent misses a blow or has had one blocked.

As far as I can remember, this move has three stages but they run so closely together that, for obvious reasons, they appear as one smooth uninterrupted heavily powered and leveraged “crank” of the subject’s forearm resulting in debilitating damage to his arm/ shoulder / elbow depending on where/how/ with which part of his upper body, if at all, “the breaker” has been able to “fulcrum” his opponent’s arm.

( i.e. position the arm, step-in close, grip wrist with left hand, grip radius-ulna with right, fulcrum with shoulder, crank backwards. Speed is everything here.)

FIRST
The “arm breaker” possibly FEINTS LEFT, then STEPS right into his opponent’s “voided space” and proceeds to manipulate his opponent’s arm into the following “set up” position prior to completing the manoeuvre.

So what you have here first is the “pre-break” position
If you’re the opponent you look like this at the outset.
Stand in front of a mirror
Extend your right arm in line with your shoulders
Rotate your palm so that it faces the mirror
Bend the elbow 90 degrees (you’re one or two moves short of a salute)
.
Then the “arm breaker”:
First with a left-handed grip, seizes the right “upright wrist” of his opponent
At the same time with his right arm he steps in and reaches UNDER the triceps of the arm he’s just seized and WITH THIS RIGHT HAND he seizes his opponent’s forearm (radius-ulna) from the OTHER side just below where he’s already grabbed with the left hand. He’s now got a two handed grip on the forearm and he’s established his fulcrum. (See below)
All the while the “breaker” is attempting simultaneously to position his right shoulder (ideal), bicep (second best) or in the case of a “non-fulcrummed” application, uses his speed to affect the third stage of this breaking move. Speed and sobriety are critical here. There are lots of “limbics decisions” in play here.

Using this two-handed grip he now has on the wrist/forearm of his opponent, he applies full upper body strength and what appears to be about his “one for five” mechanical advantage to break the opponent’s arm, dislocate the shoulder or generally render useless the opponent’s arm. Depends on a lot of stuff. And yes, he can also slip up and snap the wrist.

Now, after the initial feint, and during his manoeuvre our hero rewards the opponent’s generosity for letting him in for this break, by allowing him to rain a few useless “girl punches” to the side of his face or if he’s REALLY IN, the back of his head but more dangerously his cervical vertebrae. But it’s over soon enough anyway.
Any “covering” our hero attempts will probably diminish his leverage and his optimal fulcrum. So these punches are his “admission” charge.
By the time the opponent realizes he’s fallen for 1) a feint and 2) the rewarding girl punches, it’s just too late.

IHTFP 04 says:

Prufrock,

Kill yourself... seriously. I'd do the same but I'm a more sporting chap, so I figure I'd at least let some shit-finger have a go at me.

Later,

'04

Southron says:

""Great story, Prufrock. I live in France, and while I'm not particularly pro-French (nor any other nation), I do get tired of the standard American stereotyping of the French as a bunch of cheese-eating surrender monkeys (great as that Homer quote is). Yes, nations fail from time to time. If you're an American, just be thankful you've never had the tanks roll across the border from a hostile and superior military force. What did the US have to worry about - Canada? Mexico?""

Dumb Story Proofrock.
(As if one's nationality had anything to do with his fighting skills)_

But the posters remark about Mercans never having "tanks rolling across" that only true for Yankee bastards living North of the Mason-Dixon line.

Any Southern man has had the humiliating experience of foriegn troops and tanks violating his homeland, his women, his freedom etc.

We have the bitter taste of defeat forever in our mouths, and once given up, unlike the Iraqis and Afgans who have a fighting spirit, and who's victory over "us" is a forgone conlusion, we Southern men surrendered and stayed surrendered. We are the true and exact definition of the "Surrender monkey."

Thas why we try to project this onto the French, to try to get it out of our own psyche and our own system.

WRT to Iraq War, I consider it a private quarrel between Israel and Islamics in general and I couldn't care less about the outcome, although I wish I didn't have to pay for the party.

Prufrock says:

Stunningly good comment Southron!

"As if one's nationality had anything to do with his fighting skills"

I fully agree that nationality had absolutely nothing to do with this. I initially focused on this man's demeanor.
I had to give this "tennis player" an identity in the account so in the beginning he is just "the Frenchman".
I really couldn't care less where he was born.)
I and everyone in the street in front of the Thermae that night were just spectators.
My post back there was just a story about that fight.

Your comments further down the page reach into the real crux of the matter, however.
Too bad IHTFP can't wake up and smell all that background stuff, as well. He'd lay off telling people who don't savour the thrill of killing as he does and question how he got conned into that shithole.

History does not exactly repeat itself. It rhymes. (Mark Twain, Aldous Huxley . . . . one of those guys. Sorry, my Google's broken ;-)

BTW, the Yanks got a dose of it in 1812 when the British regulars and Canadians marched into Washington DC and burned the Capitol to the ground.
Nice to see they've been able to kiss and make up since then.

Everyone gets a dose of this sooner or later.

Prufrock says:

Kill myself??
Let's see. I'm in Bangkok living this dream and you're in Iraq living that nightmare and you suggest I kill myself.
What's wrong with this picture, IHTFP?

But I'm sure Israel is thrilled you're there killing Arabs for them. They sure know why you're there. But I seriously doubt you have any real notion of why you're really there.

And neither do James Baker, Lee Hamilton, Colin Powel and/or, in a quiet moment, to a man the entire Joint Chiefs of Staff have any real reason to give you as to why you should be there.
They've opted for diplomacy.

Bush and "Butterfly McQueen" probably know, though. You're providing them covering fire while they shred shred shred the evidence and rewrite accounts of what they did to get you into that shitstorm.
Lay off the uppers.
Think for yourself.
Read a book, IHTFP.

Prufrock says:

IHTFP
Just heep your f*uckin' head down.
Get back to the US alive.
And stay there.
Never again believe US Government (or any other Gov't) bullshit.
Stay alive and getcherass home.

Grunt says:

The mission is to bury the otherwise entertaining topic of the LOS in a mountain of complete and utter bullshit like the above posts.

This in effect suffocates any further discussion, and more importantly, chases away the casual observer who wisely chooses not to swim through a sea of shit to get to any meaninful tidbit that could sate his curiosity.

What google could not do overtly, it will accomplish with the likes of dicer et al.

Dont blame the dicer fruitcake brigade, they are only doing what they are paid to do. Go from one webpage to the next spewing vomitus.

The true culprit here is the admin of the site, who seems unwilling or unable to sift the wheat from the chaff. Shame David cant even comprehend when his site is under attack.

At this point lets hope google pulls the plug, again, and gives mango sauce a semi-kinda-sorta-dignified death.

Prufrock says:

Grunt said. Shame David cant even comprehend when his site is under attack.

Yeah, what happened to all the banter about temples, sa-picy food, rocket festivals and cheap farm-girl sex, and dumped-punter submissions? And drinking. Let's have more posts on gargling beer.
Let's gas all 'em friggin' gassy guys. Yeah. Back to basics. Return us the value system of our pack of drunken ninnies.

Yeah. Damn right.
Pre-emptive attack on all 'em long-winded p*eckerwoods afore it's too late. Someone outta straighten David out. Alert him to the dangers of long off topic posts.

Time was when a pissed up, hoi-chasing doofus had a voice on Mango Sauce and now all they have is, well, Dean Barrett, I guess.

Common Sense says:

Grunt,
I beg to differ on your assesment. Censorship would kill this site quicker than google ever could. There is only so much that can be obtained from the articles that David posts, as witty and well written as they are. The ensuing discussion of the topic typically dies off within days. The on topic disussion is usually at the top where a hapless web surfer typically reads first.

On the other hand you have the colorful cast of characters that frequestly post to this site which have created a whole other monster. Judging from the almost daily posts of praise by newcomers, this colorful cast of characters certainly pulls in most of the readership. In short, it keeps them coming back wondering what the hell will these loons say next.

Prufrock,
Im a bit busy right now and will return at a later date to discuss this new rambling bullshit youve posted.

P.S. Before you even try to attack my punctuation, Im on a Jap computer and cant find all the right fuckin keys.

Dicer says:

Grunt used to be like the fella I met in Pattaya who asserted that Pattaya will soon be studded with pillars of salt or worse destroyed, Sodomlike, not because the inhabitants were experts in hydraulics, but because a number of Chonburi thugs wanted to gang-rape a pair of Russian angel hookers who were guests of the town. OK gang-rape is seldom agreeable in the eyes of any deity. Then amusing myself with this fella in the Irish pub I suggested one way of dealing with the topic of women is to turn to that indispensible scripture, the Special Book. And I don't only mean the book of Jehovah, which has a strict list of do’s and don'ts on matters of sex. For instance, buggery was out as were using dildoes and eating shellfish.

And I quoted to him something I read in Playboy:

"In Babylon, every respectable woman was obliged to go at least once in a lifetime to the temple to prostitute herself to the first pilgrim who was willing to pay her. Herodotus tells us that ill-favoured women were obliged to spend an awful lot of time at the temple, trying to turn that reluctant trick which would make them blessed in the eyes of the goddess. Jesus also went on the record as saying that whores had as good a chance of getting to heaven as IRS men. If he meant this as a joke, it must be the only joke in the Special Book. But he also said to the mia noi (my word), "Neither do I condemn thee" before suggesting that she stop playing around. He had nothing to say about queers, wankers or the Equal Rights Amendment; but he did think the absolute of Eunuchs (Matthew 19:10-12)"

"What do women want?" Freud once asked. Plaintively. Well Sigmund, they want equality with men and your house. Or perhaps to exist only as the "repository of the sacred sperm", as the Special Book puts it. Before I finished the fella jumped into a pique of a five minute rant about the world going to hell and fell on the floor in what turned out to be acute migraine.

And here when I see Grunt repeating himself in alarming amnesiac tone I wonder.

A WORKING THERAPY FOR GRUNT

I suggested earlier that anyone who qualifies for an excessive shimmy of shoulder jump comedy may qualify for Nero's open-vein prize. Not only is Grunt mistaken in taking my forecast of his continued blubber an invitation to the prize (it means death), but he has, evidently, from the self-satisfied and repetitive talk for the past several months (and from Liu Bei's hint earlier) certainly hit a wintry freeze in the cortex. May I suggest any one of new topics to jump-start the near retarded brain. A new found purpose in his life worth fighting for could be any one of the following. It's only a suggestion.

Again I refer from the article in the same issue of Playboy. Welfare, amnesty, marijuana, gun control, masturbation, day-care centres, religious ecumenism, STD, car pools, the Environment Protection Agency. For or against would do. As a rule of thumb maybe someone closer and caring should also point out to him that last month's clever idea can be today's folly.

To accuse Grunt of dumb neologisms** and favouring an epic monomania of crypto-fascist-like anti-feminism will not only do him more harm by providing him further ordinance for his obsession, the wreckage of which no doubt, will be displayed here in the coming months, it will also bring out the pity in us every time we see the poor fella make desperate attempt to massage that cortex into tepidity.

** to mean in this case using words invented and understood only by Grunt, occurring most often in the speech of schizophrenics.

Prufrock says:

Common
Actually I just wanted to mention briefly that I can see your stuff has improved noticeably in terms of structure, clarity and punctuation.
New software?
The your/you're thing, the it's/its and there, they're, and their are next
This will be of no use in Hollywood, if they actually know what it is it might even scare people there.

Grunt says:

Oh...my...god...

They wont shut up.

They wont say anything interesting.

Droneing away from a cubicle in New York City...but say they are "old hand" in all matters LOS.

Thanks David!

Grunt says:

25 Tactics for Truth Suppression

Rule 8: Invoke authority.

Claim for yourself or associate yourself with authority and present your argument with enough "jargon" and "minutia" to illustrate you are "one who knows", and simply say it isn't so without discussing issues or demonstrating concretely why or citing sources.

Demonstration:

"You obviously know nothing about either the politics or strategic considerations, much less the technicals of the SR-71. Incidentally, for those who might care, that sleek plane is started with a pair of souped up big-block V-8's (originally, Buick 454 C.I.D. with dual 450 CFM Holly Carbs and a full-race Isky cams -- for 850 combined BHP @ 6,500 RPM) using a dragster-style clutch with direct-drive shaft. Anyway, I can tell you with confidence that no Blackbird has ever been flown by Korean nationals have ever been trained to fly it, and have certainly never overflown the Republic of China in a SR or even launched a drone from it that flew over China. I'm not authorized to discuss if there have been overflights by American pilots."

Looks terribly familiar, eh lady dicer?
Your not gonna start droning on about big block Buicks now...are you?

Common Sense says:

Pruf,
you assume hollywoodd types can even read. im durnk so fuck off

Road Natzi says:

Hey cunts, krup

Thats such a wank, krup.

Get over yourselfs, krup.

Anyway, I just threw a line out and caught a few cockheads like dicer and pruroot....so now that you all agree, Aussies are the best soldiers in the world.....lets talk about swimming, krup?

I hate fucking americans and pommies AUSTRALIA is where its at !!!!

You all suck big time, does anyone wanna have a go and pump up?

ozzyboyz says:

you should keep these clowns on thread
the thread was about a dope who brushed all the hot b/g for a freelancer pok marked slapper[not my words]
why because like water peeps find their own level
i see this over and over agian some guys ego is so low that even in los they well go for their level the girl they think will like them not the hot b/g they could get just the same
who doesnt care as all frangas are farangas after all if you had fuc a gorilla would you want a pretty or an ugly one

Deepguy201 says:

Just a comment and question, does every man that goes to thailand go for sex, what about the AIDS problem they have there, isn't anyone thinking about that, do these guys ask for a HIV test result before having sex with some of the infested girls??

One more thing is why do guys have to pay for sex in thailand, what happened to the old fashion meet a girl and hit it off without paying her to come with me, i hope someone that visited thailand in the past can answer this questions....thank you.

Common Sense says:

Deepguy,
Wear a condom and pray.

All the girls are whores. Even if its free, doesnt mean its not her day off.

Pants Elk says:

Dear Deepguy201:
"does every man that goes to thailand go for sex"
- yes.

"isn't anyone thinking about the aids problem"
- er ... what was that again?

"do these guys ask for a HIV test result before having sex with some of the infested girls??"
- asking for an HIV test result is always a successful introductory chat-up line, as is "are you a whore or not, then?" But even infested girls appreciate simple human company now that sexual congress is denied them. Playing Connect 4, for example; a sure sign that a girl is infested!

"why do guys have to pay for sex in thailand, what happened to the old fashion meet a girl and hit it off without paying her to come with me"
- a popular misconception! The whores in Thailand like nothing better than a touch of old-timey romance! A single red rose, some suitably Byronic verse, or just holding hands under the moonlight - all these are surefire ways to get get your male camel-toe manicured, without spending a single baht!

dingdongrb says:

"I have a personal preference for spelling errors."

"J. Alfred Prufock

Posted by Prufrock | December 12, 2006 2:42 PM"

WTF... Looks as though 'Mr. Brilliant' has spelling errors in his name. Did you forget the 'r' or are you just plain 'f%$#*in' stupid?

I love this site, although I'm rather new to it. It reminds me of my ex-wife always bitching. Maybe I could start my own site up. Just for you morons that don't have anything else to do but cut each other down. Maybe it could be called 'stickman' vs. 'notstickman'. I have to admit it is cheap entertainment.

Common Sense says:

Prufrock,
I know I said I wasn't going to respond to you again, but I forgot about this little matter until you brung it up again. I'll respond to this really quick and then put you back on the no respond list again because it seems to be getting under your skin.

The move is a "Reverse Keylock'. It must have been difficult for you to find a move to fit your fight story since it took you so long, but I will still applaud your google skills. To bad it's a shoulder lock and not an armbar though. Still not easy to do in the standing position even for a pro.

You must have watched countless fight scenes to get such a detailed description. I can't imagine you getting such an accurate account of the details from the ninja applying this move with such quick and brute force. By the way, his shoulder would have been dislocated or possibly his elbow. No broken arms I'm afraid. Still not enough leverage.

Back in the box you go now.

Buh Bye

Road Natzi says:

Prufrock,

For some reason 'Common' seems to think that you care about being put on the black-list.

Its been great not hearing from that ugly slimy fuck, wouldn't you agree.

Anyway kiddies, the time is up, I'm out of here, back to Thailand for a quick business trip and to get a taste of that mighty fine Thai pussy again.

David, you have failed to publish some of my most spontaneous blogs which is a little disappointing. Anyway, lifes a bitch, then you meet 'Common' or should I say get real unlucky and fuck 'Common'.

[Road Natzi - I've no problem with bad-taste comments but the two I deleted weren't even slightly interesting or funny. I know you can do better than that - David]

See you all when I return, ohh and about that fighting stuff, you see, I don't have time for it, I'm a lover not a fighter and with all that lovely Thai pussy around, whose got time for fighting. When I get back to farangland amoungst all these heffas/ugly pigs and every other combination of farang women.....I have PLENTY OF TIME FOR FIGHTING ! Lets be honest, if you fucked most of these bitches, your too lazy to wank yourself.

Prufrock says:

Common: You started all this shit off.

That first post to Dana re: my Thermae fight description was a blowjob of sorts, wasn't it. You must have recently had your ass kicked by someone else because you assumed Common's all too familiar blowjob stance to assure Dana I was making this fight up.
You were holding yourself out to be an expert on the subject. You were sucking up.
Scroll back. It's all there, Rambo.

When I took exception to a lightweight like you calling me a liar you backpedaled and reframed, ignoring one thing after another pathetically making up shit until I'd had enough. It was fucking endless. You never listen and you never learn.
You’re stupid that way

I called a friend who trains with Dominique (That's right, the Belgian) and asked him what he's done to render the bozo's arm useless. They came over and showed me. These guys are fast. They nearly pulled my shoulder showing me.They'll show you if you've got the balls for it. But then I’m afraid you’ll still argue and make an ass of yourself.
.I should have known what a complete twat you were by then. Anyway, I took the time to describe the move to you My bad.

Yes Common, I said “he broke it”. It was flapping around uselessly.
Like your hands when you post.
I did not examine the US guy's arm that night to see if it was actually fractured. And, as for myself, I don't know the difference between an arm bar and your "key lock". And I don't really care. But this Belgian guy does and he will be pleased to show you personally. That’s bankable. Your ever returning here is less definite.

And you, you fucking useless cunt, your last resort is to say that I somehow Googled this?
All that matters to you is that you stay right.
You'll ignore anything to the contrary.
You're pig-shit stupid Common.
And I think you're crazy.

Why?

Because then you actually decided to get into a dynamically identical argument with me regarding recent events in Bangkok. You, once again knew-it-all and once again you used your idiot pretzel logic to "prove" that the Bangkok New Year's Eve bombings "had all the sign of an al Qaeda attack." Out of ignorance. (In the absence of any knowledge whatsoever regarding this jurisdiction.)
You just went on and on about how much you knew about explosives and how that proved your al Qaeda nonsense. Only later did we learn you were parroting “anti-terrorism” websites. You are a rube, boy. You’ve been had. You have no idea.
And you clung to this shit for days and days until the boys rolled out of Korat and you could see that you were once again pathetically barking up the wrong tree.
Everyone could see.
Did you admit you were wrong then? Nope.
Same shit.
You ran off to other threads and began sucking dick all over the place and then you declared the subject closed.
But you just lost that one too, didn’t you.
But I guess we're "moving on" again are we?

Are you not beginning to see a pattern here? It’s a personality disorder, Common.
It’s Common among wein-heads who’ve surrendered their identities to authoritarian structures like the one you’re in now.
It’s a short term back-door coping mechanism.
But it’s problematic in the long run.
It’s called . . . Ready?

AGGRESSIVE / SUBMISSIVE Personality Disorder
You're just desperately without an identity, aren't you?

You need help, son.
And this ain’t the first you’ve heard about that is it.

Prufrock

Common Sense says:

Prufrock,
Well I woke up in an exceptionally good mood this morning, received a fantastic blowjob followed by some rough sex with a Filipina hottie, and then boarded the bus to the airport only to find out my flight to the US had been canceled. Now I'm stuck working for a few more days as opposed to being on a 2 month vacation and I feel the need to ruin someone else’s day. Now that I see you've been running around threads boasting some great triumphant victory that never happened I've reconsidered my stance on ignoring you. In the words of UFC ref John McCarthy "Let's Get It On".

How did you become such good friends with this "Belgian" that you said before you didn't even know. You are the one who reframes and reinvents your own stories as you go along. You backpedaled and switched tones repeatedly on this issue alone. It's a common trend with you though.

"had all the sign of an al Qaeda attack."

Yes, it does resemble an Al Qaeda attack. I've maintained repeatedly that it could be political, it's just my opinion that it's not.

"Only later did we learn you were parroting “anti-terrorism” websites."

That's not parroting. That's called backing up your position with references. Something you know nothing about. In your campaign to appear as a god like being who cannot be proven wrong on your word alone, you've never once posted something solid to back up your position that can be referenced. You only have your word which is about as useless cock without a massive dosage of the "little blue pill".

Prufrock says:

Common: Why do you post on this site?

Prufrock

Common Sense says:

Because its a fun and entertaining thing to do. Then you came along. Now I have the added benefit of pissing you off and pushing you one step closer to that balcony plunge.

The joy of life's simple pleasures.

Pants Elk says:

"Because its a fun and entertaining thing to do."
Maybe for you, CS, but for the rest of us, your epic struggle with Prufrock (who should know better) is just so much scroll-by. I preferred it when you were locking horns with Road Natzi - at least that had the attraction of ridiculousness.
Any chance you're going to be redeployed to Iraq, Common? That seems a good way out for us all, no loss of face for you, tearful goodbyes at the dock etc etc.

Common Sense says:

Pants Elk,
I don't recall ever locking horns with Road Natzi. I've only referred to him 3 times that I can think of. The last person I locked horns with was you. I much prefer you to Prufrock. You were at least humorous.

I'm getting out of the Marines soon, so unfortunatley I won't be going back to Iraq. I gave Prufrock an out last week when I decided to ignore him. He then spent the next few days trying to boast of some great triumphant victory that existed in his imagination. So this will continue until he either dies of a heart attack, takes the 10 story plunge, or agrees to an amicable truce. I'm going on vacation in a few days and have all the time in the world, but honestly I'd like this to end as much as the next guy. The balls in his court, not mine. I gave him his chance which he exploited.

Pants Elk says:

Well, Common, I hope whatever you do does it right for you when you drop the uniform. And I always suspected we'd have been too busy laughing to argue if ever we met, you obnoxious hardass. But please back off from Prufers. I suspect he's a guy you'd enjoy a beer with too.

Group hug, everyone!

(not you, boomer)

Prufrock says:

I'm thinkin' Homeland Security'd be a fit?

Mork says:

Common sense, are you ever gonna have something useful or interesting to post?

The few times you're not bitching and trying to make a statement, it's always the same same "I'm a marine. I screw whores!"

Just cut ya posts down to that, save yourself a lot of time, dude.

Common Sense says:

Nah, I'm about finished with my degree so security guard is absolutely out of the question. My sights are set a little higher, kind of like your balcony.

Come on, looks tempting don't it.

Common Sense says:

Mork,
There's so much more to me than that. For instance I also write poetry.

Here's a poem for you. Its titled:

Ode to Mork

Bitch!!!

Drivespline says:

CS,

The very best of luck on leaving the Marine Corps. I left the Army quite a while back and as you get to be a two digit midgit, there are things you will want to know as you prepare to eject.

People outside the military, especially those who have never served, are different than you.
First, you will find them to be much more self-centered than your fellow Marines. Most could not care if you lived or died. There is very, very little loyalty or comradarie amongst the general population. Don't expect anyone to lift a finger to help you in your career. They will help you only to benefit themselves. This is not a criticism, it's a fact. You will need to recast your self-image from a team member to an individual operating for self interest.

Secondly, unlike in the military, scumbags excel in civilian life. In fact, completely self absorbed assholes seem to do really well. You will be repulsed by grasping, crass, shallow individuals every day. They will be comepletely devoid of honor. There is no shame in being a complete lying sack of shit back in the world. If it brings you a fat check and a shiny new something, lying and cheating is perfectly acceptable. Avoid working under these types of people. Your willingness to do really hard work and contribute to the team effort will be seen by this type as stupidity on your part; to be exploited for their benefit only.

Thirdly, expect no-one to appreciate your military service. They don't care. 9/11 is long forgotten, brother. Moreover, and in their defense, they will have NO idea how hard you worked or the intensity with which you have lived your military life. Don't bother trying to relate your experiences to non-vets. It's another world they can't grasp.

Quattro. Raise your expectations; or at least re-direct them. MONEY will become much more of a focus for you. I know from experience military pay is almost non-existent. Everything that you own from your time in could be bought with a single paycheck by alot of people out here. But you're happy with the shit in your barracks room, right? I was, too. (and my shit in the vil, too). That willingness to do with less in order to do what's right will get you exactly nothing on the outside. To some extent you will have to gather all kinds of consumer crap around you, and adjusting to wanting a whole bunch of crap can be a little difficult.

Also, if you go back to school, please don't become a fuckin lawyer.

Gotta go, even though.

Mork says:

Christ, how did a post about a Bangkok newbie turn into a workshop for disafected war vets.

Road Natzi says:

CS,

You are so full of shit its not funny. Why don't you just fess up...you've never been to Iraq, you only know how to spell it because every night when you tuck yourself into you 'street' bed of soiled news papers under the train station, you notice the word IRAQ.

What amuses me the most is that everyone here actually believes your crap. You need to get your ugly arse down to the jym, get ur hand off ur 1 inch cock and find a real job.

Also you are right, you have never locked horns with me, your not man enough. Some fool here was commenting on you kicking my arse and putting his money on you because you have a gun. That cracks me up, I've had plenty of losers like you in the sights of my glock and theres nothing more I like than seeing piss fart weaklings like yourself take a piss inside your own pants when the going gets too tough. Your not a man, wake up to yourself and stop giving the hard working servicemen (and women) in Iraq a bad name, that really pisses me off and I would love to vent that anger on ur petty little arse.

Have you thought about apply for the vacant position in Carrie's life, shes looking for a pin dicked anal probing gay boy, just like you. Think about it, she could give you a good and proper 'fisting' right after you 'rim' her dirty smelly hair hole.

Pants Elk says:

Drivespline, I'm sure what you say is true, and from your personal experience. You're talking about the US, right? The country whose values you enlisted to fight for? The self-same values you so bitterly describe in your comment?
Excuse my confusion here - did the US become a shithole of seething self-interest during your military tenure, or was it like that when you marched off to defend the rights of self-interest?
(NB Please don't answer. The question makes my point, and I hate political "debate". Back to smarmy-ass oneliners for me!)

Common Sense says:

Pants Elk stated, "Back to smarmy-ass oneliners for me!"

I couldn't agree more. I've actually posted relatively little about my service in Iraq, and when I did it was in some way referencing the article. Due to the unpopularity of the war, any mention of the name Iraq sends the liberals into a fucking frenzy. If you want a good example of this read some of the early posts on this thread. I made a comment about beating up some pussy after spending a year in Iraq. It was fairly suiting to the thread. I was then attacked by the left wing crowd. They were quickly put in their place and dropped the topic though since I wasn't advocating anything, and only referenced the place since it was relevant to me going one year without pussy. I don't want any of this political debate shit either. If others could show some damned self control when they here the named Iraq mentioned then this would be less of a problem.

Scott says:

I can always laugh when I look at your website I am back in New York visiting family but cant wait to get back to the big mango . I have some newbies coming over next month and I am sure I will have some great stories to post here thanks for the laughs