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May 8 2006

After hours at The Grace Hotel

Lawrence of Arabia

Choose wisely my friend but the fat one is mine

Contrary to popular belief, Arab fellas enjoy drinking and womanising every bit as much as we do and, if they can't afford to cut-loose at The Dorchester on London's elegant Park Lane, The Grace Hotel on Bangkok's decrepit Sukhumvit Soi 3 will have to do.

The Grace isn't the force it once was in Bangkok's vibrant after-hours drinking scene but, for those who refuse to swallow the lie that Westerners and Muslims can't get along, it still offers some novel opportunities for night-time adventure.

In the hotel's authentic belly-dancing lounge you'll rarely see a farang face - so you can play Humphrey Bogart in your own private Casablanca.

The Thai femme-fatales are a bit on the chubby side, however, and they certainly don't go for the natural look when applying their makeup. By morning, Van Gogh will have painted your companion's likeness on the pillow - and on a few more surfaces besides, if she's game.

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The after-hours drinking action takes place in a small bar area off the hotel's main lobby. Imagine a Lebanese coffee-shop in the swinging 1970s - before the bullets started flying. By law, alcohol can't be served after 1 a.m. but the crafty waitresses keep the cops guessing by wrapping your glass in a paper towel.

The Grace's small bowling alley is also open all night. The place is run by a surly young woman with a finger permanently wedged up her nose (who, despite years of experience, thinks that barge-like farang feet will fit into baby's booties) but going bowling there is always great fun. It's even better when you're totally inebriated and competing against Yemeni warlords.

Next morning, of course, your wrist feels like you've done a charity wank-a-thon and the spitting sounds coming from the other side of the bed make you question the wisdom of swapping your girlfriend for a camel.

Full-sized snooker tables can be hired by the hour. For those more used to pool, they feel like tennis courts and the potting of each ball is worthy of a minor celebration.

For would-be Forrest Gumps, The Grace also offers table tennis facilities. I'd say more but the advertisers always get twitchy when I mention Bangkok and ping-pong balls in the same sentence.

The Grace Hotel is probably Bangkok's most offbeat venue to relax and enjoy a late-night drink. Go there to smoke a hookah while those infidels up the street are busy seeking out precisely the opposite.

[Posted to Nightlife by David]

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Readers' comments

Dana says:

Go there to smoke a hookah while those infidels up the street are busy seeking out precisely the opposite.

Very clever.

sniffer says:

David, mate, I've got to apologise for my message last week suggesting that the Google business might be a blessing in disguise for mangosauce as the quality of material had declined, yada, yada, yada. Top-notch stuff in the last week and am really looking forward to more of the same same but different

Chris @ WordPressBlogging.com says:

Glad to hear you have a worthy alternative to Adsense. I think Google really doesn't give two sh*ts about who the really hurt in the battle. These Jokers here http://hot-ter.com/enter.html and even myspace.com have really stepped it up a notch for the "borderline" of what you shouldn'tbe doing with Adsense. Myspace has a ton of porn stars on there site and Adsense is rotated across each and everyone. Punks, they have a real double standard for those guys.

Keep on blogging man. I love the site and miss Thailand as I used to be a frequent tourist all over that place.

Andy says:

"and they certainly don't go for the natural look when applying their makeup. By morning, Van Gogh will have painted your companion's likeness on the pillow"

The "Turin Shroud" pillow-case? Usually signifies mascara-eye-watering, pillow-biting, rear-guard action. Congratulations!

stu_$ says:

ah david , bless you ,
even tho im back in the lousy homeland
you keep me smiling with this place
keep on truckin ...i need my mangosauce
my teerak just aint enough to sustain my bangkok addiction
ps , where is tanai kwai and that old guy i used to argue with ?...lol
chok dee kup

Isabel II says:

Well, I obviously disagree with a lot about this site, but I disagree with censorship and blatant hypocrisy a lot more. I've had some rollicking good times disagreeing on this site.

I'll be watching this case closely. And yeah, where did everyone go?

SuperCat says:

My one trip to Bangkok happened to be January 2002, and the 9/11 attacks were still a huge deal.

While walking through that area (I'm pretty sure it was there, I was staying at the Hotel Classic Place) saw Middle-Eastern-looking girl of about 15 wearing a black heavy metal concert-type t-shirt with a color print of Osama on it. She gave me the evil eye so I wasn't able to find one to bring home...probably a good thing when one considers the state of airline security at that point.

It was actually kind of a sketchy place to walk through, but interesting to see things like a storefront with nothing but a half dozen hookahs lined up in it.

Anyway, I'm glad you're back online and updating. Hope the ad related stuff works out, you're an excellent writer and always make me want to return to Bangkok (next time sans girlfriend).

Christopher says:

I went to the Grace Hotel with a Saudi Arabian friend a few months ago and your description is perfect! :-D

It was great fun for a change of pace. Where else can you belly dance with Uzbekistani hookahs while a bunch of bemused Arab tourists clap time?

JHVH-1 says:

I'm a mad fan of the place. With RLDs shrinking in number in BKK over the years, this mad little tributary of upper Sukhumvit offers one of the more interesting cultural experiences to be had anywhere in Asia. I like the comment about playing Humphrey Bogart especially, that's the trip I'm always on when I go there. I actually stayed in the place a few years back, and you can do worse. Thanks for writing something I've been saying for years.

mikeyb says:

2002 when i first discovered grace known to my long stay english teaching friends as DISGRACE- who i hooked up with on my first night in bangkok alone.These guys were great, took me under there wings and showed me the sights of nana plaza when i thought i had seen everything they whisked me off to the grace club saying the night is still young and plenty of chances to pull yet Mmm -i thought. when i got there i was buzzin i couldnt beleive it there were woman everywhere dressed casual.The world was my ouyster LOVED IT

Yanbuisit says:

I remember frequently hanging out at the Grace's downstairs coffeeshop in the early 1980s before it got Arabized. We would come in on late night arrival flights from the US about 1am and head straight to the Grace as an afterhours joint with a huge group of freelanders. The coffeeshop was always 110% packed. The Grace used to have a VD card scheme, which I believe was legit as several times young sweeties showed me their cards with POS stamped on it insead of NEG. As they used to say "If you can't get it at the Grace, you can't get it!"

Butterflyman says:

Uzbekistani hookers?? Where is this oasis in the desert of the Big Mango?? I'm usually hankering after a bit of farang pussy after 2 or 3 weeks in BKK.

daniel says:

hmmmmm..the grace hotel, there is a better description on www.thailandstories.com under the heading 'little coffee shop of horrors'.

you should read that non-fiction tale before venturing near the place.
yes a lot of the women there are fat but also sleazy beyond belief and im sure some of them would cut your throat if they had the chance.

as for belly dancing, the only dancing i saw was where a rat had got into the coffee shop and all the girls were up on the tables screaming.

i suppose however if you really need something to screw at 6am in the morning then that would be the place to be.

good luck!

big gun says:

I like asian women very much and also like black women. Where can I hook up with a black woman while in Bangkok

dave says:

I have been living in bangkok for over 2 years now. I know th egrace hotel well.. its full of oversized girls, (coz thats probably what the arabs like). (kind of similar to how african americans like a girl with a big butt!!

so,, if you're into LARGE oversized girls, then hit the grace hotel!


PS: important note; in the light of the past 5 or so years of international politics and suspision.
its a predominantly arabic hotel, so if you have any racist problems or an innner conflict with middle-eastern people, then this maybe could be a good place for you to go and realise that the muslims are just regular people, (same as you).

good luck. and have a great time at the grace hotel (if plump ladies is your thing ;))

lilliputian says:

mmmm grace hotel !!!well i've been to that nice place before i head to kohsamui... yes sure it's packed with arabs and you can see arab restaurants around and arab-related services and stuff... i liked the oriental parties and the rooms ... the only thing that upset me is that security agents treat hookers differently.... they allow girls upstairs with customers if they are willing to pay part of what they get to these latter...if they refused , they wouldn't allow them and would argue that it's for security purposes ... they act as second hand pimps...this unfair ...no matter whether or not what those girl are doing is legitimate... it's unfair to force them to pay part of what they earn it's a mafioso behaviour ...and customers should interfere with that.... if you like a girl ,,,,just go and spend the night with her in a nearby hotel (there are some much cheaper) and keep your room in grace coz it's much warmer and nicer...but don't let those guys take advantage of the poor girls !!

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Thai girl