July 3 2006
Tail-chasing Thai monk defrocked

Phone-cammed with his pants down, the Abbot of Supanburi's tail-chasing ways have finally got him defrocked.
The horny monk says he was drugged but revelations about smutty VCD sessions and a 100,000 baht "dowry" paid to his ex-girlfriend (pictured) undermined his credibility.
He also denies eating more than one meal a day but a sceptical Thai public can see for themselves that his chubby man-tits are bigger than hers.
Meanwhile in Nakhon Sawan, another vice-loving monk is also making the news. Each morning, he rises from his coffin in the temple's crematorium oven to predict Thailand's winning lottery numbers.
Our Mango Sauce Religious Affairs Correspondent reports:
Every day, from dawn till dusk, thousands of people gather around his monastery in anticipation of gambling their way to riches. After making a small contribution, supplicants bend forward to hear him whisper the winning numbers.
During the past few weeks, rumours have spread that his followers have won 10 consecutive rounds of lottery prizes.
Sadly, the gambling monk's luck ran out on June 16 when he failed to come up with a single winning number.
Instead of admitting he had been wrong, however, the angry cleric accused the Government Lottery Office of manipulating the numbers so that only "their insiders" would win.
With this lot, it's not so much divine powers as Austin Powers.
Meanwhile in India, thousands of people are flocking to a village in West Bengal to worship a man they believe possesses divine powers because he "climbs up trees in seconds, eats bananas and has a tail." His tail is reportedly six inches long and devotees say he is an incarnation of the Hindu monkey god Hanuman.
There is a moral to this story. Thai monks courting popularity should give up chasing tail and consider growing one.
[Posted to News by David]
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