Don't discard those Pattaya condoms

Ronin says:

And don't forget the wearing of them to protect the old tube steak from burrowing parasites and such while jungle-trekking (or perhaps performing daily ablutions in the Ganges or Chao Phraya)!

David says:

A grieving family needs our help.

Can anyone recommend a private investigator who might be prepared to look into the recent murder of a young tourist on Koh Samui?

If so, please drop me a line.

FREEMAN says:

David,
Can you give me some details ? Who, when, where this happened ?
I'll be in Samui next month, I already know the island. I'll be with my GF. She is a thai citizen, but speaks english fluently . She could get informations from the locals, may be. I could report.
FREEMAN

David says:

So far, all I know is that a 25 year-old Canadian tourist called Craig was murdered on Koh Samui on July 24th.

His funeral takes place tomorrow.

Craig's family have asked me to help them find a suitably qualified person to investigate his death.

When they've found someone to act for them, I'll supply more details and issue an appeal for information.

Thanks for the offer of help, FREEMAN, but you might be putting your own life at risk if you ask questions of the wrong people.

FRREMAN says:

David,
I think I'm more qualified than any Thai detective to cope with this special task. I know the possible risks, and will act smoothly, getting informations from my Thai GF who is a clever girl, and able to collect infos if any. She is able to get informations a farang cannot there. I'll brief her about what to do and the way to do. May be I'll get real information, may be not... I only think a young clever lady speaking smoothly and friendy to Thai people same her could discover/listen about things even the Thai Police don't know...
It's only, a card to be played, I cannot warranty the results (and don't ask to be paid for that, on the other hand...)
Only let me know, David if you want me doing this or else not. I f yes I need some information : Where, who, when ?? (The "why" is probably the unknown part of the enquiry, I suppose.)
FREEMAN

tobias says:

that's a load of bullshit if i ever heard any.
Freeman, what could your qualifications possibly be except for making your 200th trip to thailand as a sex tourist.
leave it to professionals and quit trying to be a damn hero.
if you said you were former counter intelligence or something and worked extensively in south east asia, then ok you would sound legitimate.
you're going to let your GF do all the talking? give me a break, i wouldn't trust you with a cup of coffee.

MoMoMaiKai says:

Tobias STFU he's just trying to help you blabbering prick.

P.S. I probably fucked your 'clever' girlfriend in th the grogery hole.

FREEMAN says:

Mr TOBIAS, this is not your problem but mine.
My background is OK for this task, and my GF is no hooker, but University graduated.
So better you shut up, and stay in Nana Plaza, the only place you'll probably ever know well in Thailand.
OK na khap ?

AVID says:

ANNOUNCEMENT!

I'm going to start a blog, and having rakked my brains and my balls for a Mission Statement, I have decided to call it...... No, not "Crazy about Bangkok", but "Fuckin Addicted to Mango Sauce"

he he he......just kidding...

ps David, I'll send you the invoice ok?

Dana says:

I am also going to start a blog--of course I won't be able to register or get into my own blog but I have high hopes for others.

Bow Wow Wow says:

Perfect. Then we can all tell you what a prick you are without having to read your crap.

Bento Box says:

I'm going to start a blog that will document the antics of all the sad bastards who spend their lives posting comments on other people's blogs.

Toby says:

thai bar girl, thai college grad same thing freeman.
:)

FREEMAN says:

Toby, yes they 'grad' (and grab...) same thing, the main difference is the graduate one has higher IQ, and better conversation ! Useful after sexual intercourse in my opinion. If you don't think so, better return the zoo you escaped, I will come (with her) feed you with some monkeynuts ! !
FREEMAN

mr peter says:

How about www.thailandpi.com I used them once and they were OK, don't know about a serious case like this though-peter

tobias says:

freeman,
do you even know what I.Q. stands for?
you should know that education and intelligence have nothing to do with each other.

anyways this is besides the point, i don't care about your thai bar girl no matter how educated you think she is ok? so just drop it.

nick adams says:

freeman,

i doubt you're serious about investigating, i hope so for the sake of your "clever" girlfriend. who isn't very clever if she's willing to go asking questions about dead farang in a place she's not from. but i bet she's not as stupid as all that, and will "investigate" the matter over some sangsom and maybe some cards and possibly some good fresh island-boy schlang while you are eating your banana pancakes with your shades low on your face feeling like magnum p.i. don't forget to wear your shorty-shorts.

FREEMAN says:

Mr NICK ADAMS :
1 - I am serious about it.
2 - Who are you to say I can't cope with this ? You don't know anything about my abililities to cope with that special task.
3 - As noticed by specialized investigators (see thei web sites), the job must be done by :
a - A thai citizen
b - A woman
I agree ! Imagine a Thai citizen doing enquiry in Maryland or New Jersey ! ! Hard task.
So : I'll be on site next month, I have some abilities to analyse and synthetize informations. I can offer same service any Private Investigator.
So you can doubt : as said before this is not your problem but mine. This is also the problem of David, who initiated a search for somebody suitable!
As for yourself want can I say ? Critic is easy. Only Art is difficult. So better you shut up also if you aren't voluteer for that task, same I already said to another poster...
FREEMAN

FREEMAN says:

Attention to some posters :
As said before I respond to David's request. If one of you sending comments or doubts, better you reply him in a positive manner if you think you are the right man !
2 possible issues : I can't solve it, can't find "who killed and why"... >> no money, no reward.
I find who is guilty with absolute certainty : I will negociate.
Any PI is paid independtly of the result he get or not. This makes a difference.
FREEMAN

AVID says:

NICK: "I have some abilities to analyse and synthetize informations."

What? Pass that by me again please.....

I thought ppl went to Ko Samui to have a fuckin break & fuck his TG in a beach hut. You?

What a fuckin plonker!

toby says:

" I have some abilities to analyse and synthetize informations. I can offer same service any Private Investigator"

so you can 'synythesize information' just as well as any other private investigator? yeah, you sure seem to have the 'abilities'.
ten dollars says freeman will get lost on his way to his hotel room in los.
you fucking dope, both of you can end up in body bags.
and then we're going to have to hear about you and your slapper-girlfriend and how your family wants to find a p.i. to find out who killed you.

i can see the headlines now:
"NOSY TOURIST SLAIN IN KOH SAMUI!"

FREEMAN says:

I like Samui for diving, sea, sand, sun and sex same you, boys : I'm a normal guy, not Superman. However I have an excellent brain (this is a plus : many guys in LOS having only dicks ), so add this to my usual activities during my stay with my so intellectual GF, on this lovely island is like a touch of spicy, on Thai cuisine. And a brain challenge for a change.
Have you better ideas, gentlemen ?? May be this guy wasn't killed by a Thai, but could have been murdered by a farang as well. This happened sometimes, during hot Full Moon Parties you know...
FREEMAN

John U says:

FREEMAN,

I am sure the comments you have received are out of concern for your welfare.

You sound very naive, and maybe young, I don't know.

The thing is that most of us guys who have been around in big cities and other communities around the world know how dangerous it is sometimes to even try to find out who stole your wallet or ripped you off in some way. In those cases you may be warned off, and I'm sure some of us have had those warnings and backed off.

The guy or guys you will be looking for are definitely killers of men. They have already killed and will kill again if they know you are getting close.

There is no doubt about this. If you get too close, and the killer finds out he WILL kill you and your girlfriend.

Why on earth take that kid of risk? Let the professionals handle - if they care to, and I doubt there will be many takers for that kind of job.

toby says:

for the love of christ listen to john u.
intellgence has no bearing in this matter, it all comes down to professional experience. just because you saw one too many episodes of murder she wrote, does not make you in any way a sherlock holmes.
if you try to pull some dumb ass shit in koh samui and something happens to you, it will not generate any sympathy from us.
you keep saying you are qualified to do this job based on the fact that you have an 'excellent brain'.
you have demonstrated your stupidity to us by caliming that you will be able to do this job with no real qualifications of experience.
quit acting like you know something because you don't know shit.
just from dealing with you on this blog i can tell that you have zero street smarts- which has nothing to do with intelligence or how excellent your brain is. you have obviously never lived in any kind of urban area.
common sense supersedes all, you seem to lack a great deal of it.

nick adams says:

freeman,

i don't anything to add to the above posts warning you not to be such a fuckin ijit; i just hope your ability to "synthesise informations" will lead you to the conclusion that you ought to just stay right where you are, in your beach chair with your bad paperback. but like you said, it's your problem, and i'll be sure to but your "intellectual" girlfriend a drink or two when i see her in nana after you end up in a body bag of your own.

Bowser Nopobum says:

=================
FREEMAN says "However I have an excellent brain"
=================
Ok - ok - We shall remember to take a good look at it after you have commited suicide by jumping from your ground floor condo with a plastic bag over your head and hands tied behing your back.

FREEMAN says:

Mainstream of you guys seems to be so sure ! ! : "The guy or guys you will be looking for are definitely killers of men. They have already killed and will kill again if they know you are getting close". (John U).
I'm neither naive, nor young (I'm 42). I live in Asia since 1998. And travelled worldwide before, on the 5 continents. Nigeria is certainly much more hazardous than Thailand, I think.
I'm not certain this farang was killed by Thais. He could have be murdered by another "tourist" as well. There are more farangs than Thais in Samui. Some information about the victim's personality is necessary prior any investigation, and one of the keys...
So, be positive, and instead of warnings, have a look on the comments of Thai / foreign news et the time this happened. I'm staying in Vietnam for now, and this was not reported. I had a look on news end July : no report here in HCMC news.
FREEMAN

Bowser Nopobum says:

Whoever solved a murder case by reading the daily rags?

FREEMAN says:

I agree : step by step. First step is "who, where and when". Daily rags from newpapers!
Second step : go ahead, where the action was / is : will be...
I'm pretty sure such cowards a bunch of BKK expats (daily beers and Isaan fucks addicted) won't go there. BKK / Nana ß Soi Cow-Boy is much better safe place to them. You guys could have safe cackles in any western pub as well. Better you go home.
FREEMAN

Tracey Emmin says:

Freeman, please tell me you're not an english teacher...

FREEMAN says:

I am a full time backpacker with a part time English teaching job. How else would I get an intelligent girlfriend?

toby says:

wow.
that's all i can say. where did you guys find this clown?

Tracey Emmin says:

Nah, Freeman, you're nowt but a troll trying to sabotage this thread.

I'd say that to your face aswell.

FREEMAN says:

TRACEY : I'm definitely NOT an English Teacher ! My English is basic... I don't understand slang, you know..
FREEMAN 2 : I'm definitely NOT a backpacker, even part-time. This is not my culture. I like to be clean.
TOBY : you're definitely a cunt, and very happy to be so.
-------------------
This was my last reply to your favourite sauce.
Bye-bye. My apologies to David. I suggest him to install a soft-filter. Posters here : a few diamonds in the rough : David, TK, Dean, etc... the rest is a f...ing bunch of sexpats not to meet or visit.
FREEMAN

Tracey Emmin says:

Freeman - i keep hearing yoda's voice when i read your posts.

Hope you can fight like him when u go down to samui...

Gimpy1 says:

Freeman,

Have you come up with any leads yet? If you haven't, maybe a little less time online responding to other posts and little more time hitting the streets!

Tania, how come there aren't 15 posts on this thread with all of your infinite Starbucks wisdom?

TANIA KWAI says:

Gimpy,

Give my brother a rest, will you? He's just back from a TV bang-fest with new-found mate Dana.

(Snore..)

Tania

FREEMAN says:

Last, but not least... Start-up that thread was David's request :
"A grieving family needs our help".
Don't forget guys ! I'm good-hearted but experienced adventuror worldwide, I was then offering my "intelligence" at large to David's request : I was then strongly 'www' aggressed by a bunch of cowards sexpats, beer ans pussies addicted, from BKK city ! !
... This is how it looks from here (Saigon HCMC).
OK guys, I'll change Koh-Samui for Koh Phi Phi as well. Scuba diving better, sea, sand sun and sex same-same. Good luck to you in Koh... Soi Cow-Boy ß Koh... Nana.
Sawasdee khap !
FREEMAN

Tracey Ermine says:

Numbnuts, how many times u gonna say bye?

Mr. Nobody says:

Those religious freaks should instead use Christianity as a weapon against Islam and destroy it for good. Once Islam is destroyed, then islamic terroism is also destroyed. We can't win the war against islamic terroists because there always be new terroists who will show and fight again. The best way effectively is to destroy their very core belief....islam...
That is what the NGO and other crazy religious christians should do instead of wasting their efforts in Thailand.