Nightlight: Missionary position for Thai prostitutes

pipelayer says:

I like to feign interest in their schtick and then just when they get on a roll I excuse myself to go "lay some pipe" with a conspiratory wink. Really gets their blood boiling. ;) = >_<

echobeach says:

There was a great story in the Chinese press several years ago in Hong Kong.

It concerned a she-Monk who begged for alms (yes I know they can only accept food if legit) during the day and then at night donned a wig and went off shagging her arse off in the red light district.

Without getting onto dangerous ground, it seems that religion is a pretty good vehicle sometimes...

In saying that, a lot of our Church friends do a good job in pretty testing places.

As for those money grubbing Sunday morning religious Tele-priests.. Hell's flames could not be hot enough for you..

King Kong says:

Is that a picture of Jesus being served at the Pump Station bar in Pattaya?

Prufrock says:

Yeah: There's only one kind of scammer easier to bait than a holy roller and that's a gem-scammer. I have a record for 45 minutes with a "roller" in front of Big Dogs. They get upset if you ask them if the bible is the only book they've read and they respond with "But the Beye-BUL WAS WURITTUN BA THE HAY-UND OF GAAAWD . . . And you remind him about editing process at the Council of Nicea and that Constantine was a Pagan right up until he croaked. . . . and the Magdalenean Heresy, Bogomillian Dualism, Catharism, Milton and the Gnostics and pre-Christian "Christianity" Roman Pagan/Christian Amalgam as smithied by the vatican in its "Panoply of Saints". . . . shit like that. Bores the hell out of most people but for those of us who are interested in synthesizing our readings and knowledge base on this particular area of human activity, Bible thumpers are the perfect sounding board.

I use them kinda like Mr. Dicer uses this board (no offense meant, my friend, No offense at all, and I hope none perceived :-)
My record with a gem scammer is two and half hours. He really thought he had a live one, poor fuck. Right into the shop on Sri Ayuttaya talk, talk, talk.
I learned more about his scam than he could possible imagine. But then , as I slipped word by word into reasonably fluent Thai he could see the bloom slowly wilting in the stem.
The penny dropped for the counter-cunt (she of batting eyes and puckered cleavage) then after a few minutes more of straight Thai. I finished my tea and fucked off out of the shop.
I love this place, you can learn so much from these people ;-)

BTW, I used to shag a Roi-et girl in Toronto who claimed to have jumped ship from an Empower Seminar in Vancouver to work at the infamous Fairbank Hotel. She had loads of stories about the NGO's and the Bible thumpers but like the poor gal in Kate Macgown's piece she was just telling me what I wanted to hear. Some of it HAD to be true though.

The young missionaries I used to take Thai lessons with at ULS on Suriwong around the corner from Patpong 2 had ALL been "s-o-o-o-o-o-orely tempted in the ways of the flesh": either at Ramhkamhaeng where they'd had some major Thai pussy ground into their faces or in the bars themselves.
One guy told me that it broke his heart to see such beautiful women praying to "that idol". (Alabama boy he was . . teacher's pet. . . she was a slightly hotter oldy but goody big-ass Thai beauty who took a shine to the lad.)
Praise the Lord

Andy says:

Hilarious piece, David.

These girls just need a "miracle" to help their buffalo get better.

Amazingly, Isaan girl's feet are genetically adapted to walk on water (ok, rice paddy..) already, so the God-botherers are wasting their time.

hanshum harry says:

a she-monk? that'll be a nun then

Mr Thaksin, BKKchat.org says:

let these little angels polish my bishop ohhh lord l prey everytime on arrival at bkk airport.
There is a god, the lords always answers my prayers, but only in bkkkkkkkkk !!!!

paul says:

I would love to have seen the tap 'dance off' with the devil to the sound of duelling banjo's.....

The deep south really knows how to raise the roof ! lol

As you quoted David, to them it is all about 'control'

'But, we have no control over the situation. She made her choice.'

Why do liberals always feel they know best for everyone, then have a pop at them when they don't do what they want ????

SPQR_US says:

These nut jobs are all the same. They are crazies but they are the only ones writing the stories in the US or Europe.

Outing them publically is helpful at times but they will come and go on into eternity.

Blogs have become a good way of dealing with their shenanigans too.

Also how could God throw anyone in a fire for being a Buddhist and not a Christian? Throwing people into fires is what the leaders of Christian and Muslim faiths seem to really be into.

These people are just idiots. They thrive on public humiliation because they see it s proof of their suffereing before God. Of course the reality is that it serves only to isolate them more from the rest of humanity and sane mental governance making it ieasier for the scammers (priests and TV preachers) to control them.

All this talk of organized religion is making me want to make a Nana run...

Dana says:

"Why do liberals . . . "

Excuse me? Liberals are the fount piece of conversion old time religion?

Wickerman says:

Jesus always spoke in parables.
Maybe the Bangkok bible thumpers should
speak in Limericks.
For starters, how about:

There was a young Lass from Patpong,
Who decided to re-use her condom,
But she drank to much Stout,
and got inside turned out,
and now all she hears is "Hi Mom!"

Kenn says:

I am sure it is no different from all the other churches, so you know the Preacher/Priest/Reverend or what ever that want to be called are getting a piece from this prime stock (on second thought if they were Priest then it would be about lady boys)(shiver)

Normally that would not bother me, but these hypocrites are always telling others not to do what they are doing, they want to keep all the fun for themselves…….those greedy bastards…we cant stand idle and let them have all the fun………
I want some too

They have to stop keeping these Mary Magdalene. For themselves and share her like in Gods will ;-)

And speaking of Nuns I always had a bit of a fantasy with them involving a crucifix, alter and … …..But that a story for my physiatrist

Errant says:

If only the men among the soul harvesters would arrange some late-night fellowship with Nana's ladylads, particularly the more aggressive and maniacal tops. On the road to Damascus (a short-time hotel in Soi 3/1; highly recommended), they could stop for a pull on the hookah, a shawarma or two, and then make for the room and what might be a revelatory experience, for someone anyway.

gonzo says:

I'm a fat guy...beer belly...so I just tell the girls to rub buddha...

all is well...

rodney says:

The nightlifebangkok website paints an evil and sinister veil over Thailand. The tourism authorities are trying to promote Thailand as a family friendly tourist spot, which it is. In the end websites like nightlifebangkok don't reach it's target market, i.e. potential sex tourists, because they don't bother reading that kind of trash. Websites like nightlifebangkok only serve to feed lies and prejudices about prostitution in T-land. Have they given a thought to mentioning the hundreds-of-thousands of women who have been able to buy a home for their families back in Issan, or send the father to hospital for medical help, or buy the little brother the latest trendiest scooter. What about the women who are so well off, they park their late model Toyota in Nana Hotel carpark and go to work across the road at the plaza (I have seen this with my very own eyes!) So nightlifebangkok,crawl back under the nasty little pulpit you crawled out from under, and stop painting a nasty, dirty light over wonderfully, upwardly mobile women and a nicely progressing, baht-strengthening country like good ole T-land. Bollocks to you nightlife bangkok - your website ain't even worth reading honey! Yeah baby!

NotAnyBangkok RelatedWebsite says:

From their blog:
"NightLight is growing and you are an important part of this expansion. We now accept all major credit cards..."

http://nightlightbangkok1.blogspot.com/

fbuom says:

Paul,

Liberals?

As a Yank, I've got to say that it's the conservatives - the so-called religious right - that are the moralists trying to run the sex-lives of everyone else. They are the anti-abortion (they like 'pro-life') activitists, the "Don't ask, don't tell" proponents (well, really they just agreed to it because they knew they were losing the total prohibition fight) and the anti same-sex marriage folks.

Many of them believe sex education in the schools is wrong because it teaches kids about sex - and if they _know_ about sex, why they'll just go out and _have_ sex! Keep those kids in the dark!

A lot of the baby boomers I know - the ones in school before sex ed - seem to have learned about sex anyway - the hard way, teenage marriage, teenage parents and all.

It's all because of the Puritans - and Queen Victoria.

Of course, a large number of Catholic and Protestant religious leaders of all stripes have been 'outed' in the US for their secret sex lives.

That's not to say that the Liberals can't go overboard on their pet issues, but running the sex lives of others is generally not their thing.

fbuom

Isaac says:

"We did spend lots of money and time by her bedside..."

Says it all, really.

Dicer says:

"I use them kinda like Mr. Dicer uses this board (no offense meant, my friend, No offense at all, and I hope none perceived :-)" - Prufrock

None taken...and none perceived. This calls for something reflective. Hahaha...

The following letter was written by a chap who waited a long time to arrive in bkk...once here, he headed to Nana but was confronted by the quacks. The last thing he wanted was these fellows in Nana. After a lifetime of tolerating these men and the whims of their god he decided to write a letter and send it to the god's official earthly rep, addressed... C/O The Pontiff, Vatican City...

------------------
Dear oh god up in the clouds listen to my complaints...

The mighty unmentionable evil at the center of our universe, cloud-lord, is monotheism. Ye know that from a barbaric Bronze Age text known as the Old Testament, three anti-human religions have evolved --Judaism, Christianity, Islam. These are thy patriarchal cloud-god's toys. Patriarchal rage at the thought of women ever usurping your men's place at the helm, in either at home or the workplace, drives ye potty. You cloud-god are a jealous god. Ye require total obedience from everyone on earth, as ye are in place not for just one tribe but for all. Those of us who reject ye must be converted or killed for our own good. In the end, totalitarianism a la Joseph the Georgian is the only sort of politics that can truly serve your purpose. Any rumbling of a liberal nature endangers your authority and that of your robed delegates on earth and in places where you cloud-god and your earthly male delegates fester.. One cloud-god, one ruler, one pontiff, one master in the realm and only one father-leader in the family home all ruling in your very learnable style, drawing strength from the suppressed. Slaves are allowed to organise heavenly cloud-god assemblies, as a surrogate for earthly freedom. Master assemblies are organised to protect rights of property. These masters of ye church put themselves on a collision course with human rights and equality. They also feel it necessary to convert everyone on earth to their primitive ways, their superstitions and hatreds upon all of us through the civil law and through general prohibitions of sex of all sorts. Let ye dwell on the evils your men have wrought.

Because of yur tinkerings we do not live in liberal democracies but in quasi-totalitarian patriarchies. Many who follow yur example believe they'll be yur light beams hence the lack of concern for the planet. They eat too much, crap too much and drive petrol guzzling Hummers from Orange County to San Francisco.

As Lucian said the world is fleeting; all things pass away. Ye cloud-god have given us and made us in thrall to the notion of using time as you see fit, your, creation, your millennium. As the second joyous millennium - since ye cloud-god chose unwisely to become a man who was then put to death, all the while predicting that the world would end in the lifetime of your contemporaries - drew to a close your men were talking of final things. We are still here.

David Hume once observed that all power is with the governed because they are many while the governors are few. How then do the few control the many? Through opinion, as expressed from the pulpit and in the classroom. Today we can, thanks to ye, use that terrible word - media.

In your name, God's country - as it calls itself - spends trillions keeping the phantom Barbarians at bay, realigning its enemies when it feels like it. And ye are watching all this. Currently they are the 1 bln Muslims and Arabs in particular. Yesterday it was Russia that was Gog. Today it is Iran. Your men want war and the experience of Rapture. Did you not realise that Muslims won't make suitable enemies...there are too many of them. So what is left apart from your injunction to be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the Earth, and subdue it. We have done it and now I look around and this instruction of yours looks like madness to me. Since you suggested then that we should multiply, in a land you built for two, we have got carried away and become 6 bln. And we are still at it. We put holes in the polar skies. We are turning this place to dust. A different type of doom is upon us.

Since you have not passed your performance assessment we look towards the east for recruitment - where the likes of you are only allowed 30 day stamps for 3 months - to the land of the Buddha. There are no cloud-gods. For the Buddha we are not here except to be gone from here. When asked what happens after death, Confucius said, since we know so little of life why ask about death of which we know nothing?

Tell your men to stop preventing others from using drugs, cigarettes, alcohol, sex with a consenting partner or, if one is a woman, the right to an abortion.

Isn't there somewhere a golden mean? Cloud-god, amend your ways and let us all make a proper marriage with the planet instead of an incontinent rape , in the name of dominion. And tell your chaps in Nana plaza to back off.

I say all this with due respect. If that respect is not enough and your crackling auto-da-fe is headed my way give me a hint....like Chariton Heston playing you in a Mel Gibson film.

Talk soon cloud-god.

Yours

The clichéd Gin Moo-ed Farang in Thailand.

----------------------

As the cloud-god's - or as some call him the sky-god - earthly representatives are busy killing and raping and prevaricating - I see Dana perking up when these words are used, akin to the hypnotised one who responds to key words - I doubt if Gin Moo-ed Farang will receive a reply from Him or his earthly associates. What makes you think of the world and life in general is when you see the natural environment go up in flames - quite literally - as it is doing here in Chiang Mai. I have always been susceptible - as anyone would - to the mixture of carbon-dioxide, sulpher-dioxide and other toxins pervading the northern air. This January it reached a peak that only I and a few others seemed to notice as the locals continued shuffling their feet in their usual unthinking unobserving ways. Once I finished work in mid January I decided to take a break for some fresh air down south. I spent a few weeks away and came back to my Chiang Rai villa to find that the pollution has gone from bad to worse. Several of my neighbours packed up their bags and left for good. I took another break away from the place. I thought well, I'll be away for six months anyway and will be back in the rainy season when the countryside is lush green and clear so never mind I said. Never thought I'd get caught like this.

As I am one to deride the naysayers as well as the denial and dogma army, the 'bubblers' and those who waft in their 'be nice' mode it was somewhat interesting to see myself end up in the receiving end this time albeit via the uncontrollable medium of atmospheric pressure. As the noxious substances covered the region I donned my Army Corps of Engineers supplied mask and started to look around if attitudes and actions changed.

My first question was aimed at a farmer on the outskirts of Chiang Mai who was looking in bemusement the pile of scrub, plastic bottles and refuse he'd set alight just before I started talking to him. I pointed out that the entire region was covered in poisonous ash and the government had advised people to stop burning their rubbish. He nodded and smiled. Now I am talking to an intensely ME ONLY person here so I said does it not bother you...don't you have difficulty breathing? He replied smiling, "I'm ok." How about your family, any kids? "Yes I have two kids 9 and 7, but so far they are ok." SO FAR? I mean So f*****g far!!! It does not need a genius to work out that the whole country does not know what future thinking is and most of the population has the foresight that stretches not far past the next noodle. But to be fair even in their unthinking ways Thais understand and want continuity and perceive karmic cause and effect if perhaps not the logical parallel. But to meet a person here who is burning the land and smiling at me was beyond a cartoon moment. Is this fella so dense that he can't see his two kids ending up in the hospital in a couple of days time like thousands of others who already have?

Later on I saw a cop grinning at a burning pile of rubbish. I stopped and motioned to him. He ambled towards me thinking I was going to ask for directions. I said, don't you realise that the govt has ordered a no burning rule. He gawped at me shocked at my impertinence. I carried on for a while and stopped at an outdoor Korean bulgogi style BBQ stand which was spouting smoke. I asked the little old lady if she knows that the provincial govt has asked people to stop using BBQs of the kind she has. She grinned wondering who I was and why I asked. She was in fact coughing. One of my mates' PA started having a nose bleed in a mid morning errand. Later on at lunch when we talked about the smog problem she squarely put the blame on Burma. When asked again this 25yo sao who has a masters degree from some college and has travelled the region looked me straight in the eye and said it's the "khon pemaa" fault. Another sao on the street sneered, turned to her friend and said, "what does the farang want?" A mixture of plain old stupidity, cognitive limitations and dollops of xenophobia is what is encouraging this madness. Tourist numbers is already down 30% and soon like me most will be gone, the hotels will be empty and even then I doubt if the shock will hit them. It's a bit like the motorbike gangs who chop each other to bits and then go to have Chang. The cops inevitably catch up with each and when asked why he cut up another human with a sword he'd say something like...."erm I'm not sure, I don't remember." He probably will 5 years on in the slammer. A slow collective suicide.

When people start chucking their lungs out all the denial ends of course. I mean thousands of moo bans and foreigners who've put their kids in Chiang Mai international schools thinking that it is one of the best places on earth now waking up to see the place almost go up in smoke...... and the best one was the two foreigners one with tank top another topless jogging around the moat while ash was raining....priceless. I'm sure the sky-god is grinning too.

Prufrock says:

Good one, Rodney!

Prufrock says:

fbuom: Paul is having a go at the type of smear originated by his idol Rush Limbaugh. You ask a rhetorical question with the smear enbedded in it so that the respondant has to aswer the smear and not the question.
Paul masterbates to that poster of Ann Coulter stretched out on the grass with her bird legs and her eys looking like . . . . well I can't figure it out. Two holes burnt in a blanket or two piss-holes in the snow.

Try him on again with a challenge to the right and see what he comes up with.

Bet it'll be a Rove-like rebuild of your question. There are actually websites devoted to these guys and their penchant for evil.

Hope this has helped.
And Paul? Why are there so many pedophiles in the GOp????

raoul says:

Does anyone know if Sticks side kick,
Whos Your Daddy, is in that group?

He is quite famous for calling on the Lord for backup when confronted with his nighttime activities.

JeHOvah says:

Merciful Father, all children, everywhere, are dear to your heart. We pray for those who still sit in darkness of gods who are not gods and live in the shadow of death. May the light of your truth, your mercy and kindness come upon them. For those who live in the squalor of poverty and the ugliness of sin, visit them, bring them relief for their spirits and a cleansing up of their lives by your powerful lifesaving blood. For those with no little strength and little pleasure in the labours of their hands, bring new hope and new strength. Raise up your deliverance, Lord, for all peoples!

Prufrock says:

The Beatitudes: the eight step program that Christ is said to have promulgated as a replacement for the Ten Commandments, when he delivered the Sermon on the Mount is non other than a scriptural theft of the eightfold dharma principals. These were being taught contemporaneously by Buddhist missionaries in the Buddhist monastery eight hundred miles to the north in LEBANON.

In fact that whole day is hauntingly parallel to the day when Buddha delivered his first sermon to an un-convocated throng of disciples.

They both finish with "Love they neighbor as thyself", at least in so many words.
And then there were those 15 or twenty years that the Young Genius Carpenter spent wandering around in the lands of the "Great Transformation" (Armstrong)
And this wandering is said to have taken place after his blasphemous "questionings" of the Temple Elders when he was Bar Mitzvahed or whatever they were doing to 15 year old boys in temples back then.
The temple records are pretty clear as to what they were doing with fifteen year old girls in the temples though isn't it ;-?

I smell the toast and tea.

And I'd say it's a smidge too little and a bit too late for discussions of this nature.

Paul says:

fbuom

In England the liberals we have are completely different, they are the ones in our country telling people what they can and can't do with their own lives.

Our Labour party stop competitive sports in schools then start harping on that children are getting fat.

They moan about Global Warming and then catch flights all over the world and have private chauffeurs everywhere whilst taxing us for driving on roads and also raising the prices above inflation of public transport.

They started a website to let people petition about things they didn't agree with..... road pricing was one of these that had several million signatures to abolish it...... they then sent everyone an email to tell them they were wrong to disagree.

I don't agree with anyone who has the termerity to tell someone else how to live THEIR life, and then when they disagree with them start getting all shitty about it !

Drivespline says:

You know I would never complain, Pru, but I'm just tryin to figure what's 800 miles south of Lebanon.. Can't really argue against the sentiment, however purloined it may be. It's Gods' work we're supposed to do here on Earth, right? I tried that on my 9 year old and his answer was, "why does'nt God just come down here and do it himself"?

Prufrock says:

Dunno Drivespline, beats me. Except maybe to conclude that he's not "up there" at all.
May I pass on a title/: that most soothing and satisfying examination of religious history from Elaine Pagels (The Gnostic Gospels (Gnosticism - the Kingdom of God is within you) - so fuck the Romans and/or Jerry Falwell structure, it just ain't there.

See, i figure if ya can make people think that he's "up there" and that they need a vicar to get a line up there for them and into him, then ya got the gravy train going, right??

And then there's Karen Armstrong.
It's not so often that a heavily contentious topic like religion gets packaged and presented for study in such a benign fashion. A good read.
Just have a look at Amazon for an intro.
I'm more interested in the history of the religions than the theology. I want to know what was so important about Rome that they were able to keep the ole bonfires going right up until "nihil obstat/ impermatur (the Inquisition) was finally abolished at Vatican II.
Both astoundingly readable unlike so many other things on the same subject.

Kathy says:

I'm just wondering why you're so angry that that NightLight is trying to help some ladies who need a hand. And heck, if they want to teach some Bible lessons in the meantime, who really cares? Maybe I misread, but it doesn't look like you have anything specific against them, other than some unsubstantiated claims and meager attempts at humor. I just don't get why you'd write this long a post (and get so many comments) to put forward some speculation...

--------

Pyrrha says:

I hadn't noticed that the Labour Party had abolished competitive sports - I thought they backed and won the bid to host the Olympics and are now ramming it down kids' throats in an attempt to get them off the Play Stations and onto the soccer pitches...

...I knew a happy-clappy once who asked his "Elder" is masturbation was a sin - he was told that it is sinful only if one fantasises whilst doing it....

Reading the NT, the impression I get is that Christ was pro-whore - enjoyed the odd erotic foot-massage. I think it was St. Paul who had the hang-ups (repressed homosexuality).

Next time you meet a happy-clappy, though, just ask them why God created the Tsunami. It's delicious seeing them tie themselves into knots over that one!

Looper says:

'he was told that it is sinful only if one fantasises whilst doing it....'

The priest at my school told me it wasn't a sin as long as I let him do it to me instead of doing it to myself. Fair enough. With my eyes closed I could just about maintain the illusion that the whisky breath heavy breathing was coming from my pals big sister who was a locally renowned bit of rough.

Pyrrha says:

One friend doing field research in a happy-clappy barn one long afternoon noticed that all those babbling, laying on hands, and shouting out "Praise the Lowered!" at irregular intervals, were very spotty.

Are we all deluded thinking it's cleanliness and not spottiness that's close to Godliness?

Perhaps they're like those textured condoms when the hand of the Deity is upon them, whipping them into a frenzy.

I remember when I was a child finding myself thinking about Jesus's penis, and then thinking that God (the Father) could hear what I was thinking, and I really mustn't... But then even naughtier images occurred to me involving donkeys and the Angel Gabriel and I think it was at that point that I realised the whole Omniscient Deity thang probably just wasn't for me.

Looper says:

I was an altar boy at school but I usually only did special masses like weddings funerals etc. because you usually got a pound for your services (sometimes I got 5 pounds but Father MacGinty said not to tell anyone). Little did he realise that I would have done it for nothing since coming through the warm hands of the lord had awoken in me a curious excitement about wearing the little red dress in public. Sucker!!

Pyrrha says:

Happyclappies struggle in Thailand as there is no word in Thai for sin. The concept does not exist in Thai culture because acquiring negative karma is simply the result of stupidity. Thus those the God-botherers call sinners may be foolish or may be wise, and may be reborn as gods or maggots, but there is no omnipotent Daddy to punish them.

Whores, incidentally, may be better placed in the karma stakes than married women who are often befuddled with pride and strongly attached to husband and home.

The whores the happies are so keen to rescue are probably more enlightened than the condescending, self-righteous saddoes so keen to lay hands on them. Wisdom and Compassion are often found in whores, but rarely in evangelists.