June 10 2004
Crack-head Pete Docherty treated in Thailand

Pete Docherty: Likes crack
Pop star Pete Docherty, from The Libertines, wouldn't piss on us if we were on fire but he needs our sympathy as he battles his crack addiction at a monastery in Thailand. Run by an ex-marine, the Thamkrabok Monastery in Saraburi is reportedly the World's toughest drug rehab centre. According to The Sun newspaper, this will be Pete's daily routine.
Bamboo floggings
Poison and puking
Prayers
Manual labour
Piped in tapes of Buddhist monks chanting
Rice and water
What a bunch of sissies. The tough new Mango Sauce Rehab Clinic in Bangkok offers a far harsher regime. If he signs up, tragic Pete Docherty will be bundled into a tuk tuk at Bangkok's Don Muang Airport and taken on a white-knuckle ride through rush hour traffic to our clinic in the semi-flooded basement car park of a partially completed office building at Asoke Junction (stopping off at various jewellery retailers at the driver's discretion).
Our team of highly trained staff were previously employed as waiters at Tony's Entertainment Complex in Pattaya (See Tony's Pattaya: Nightmare on Walking Street) and have considerable experience of inflicting torment on hapless farangs. Under harsh strobe lighting, they will pester Pete to breaking point while Tata Young's hit single Sexy Naughty Bitchy is played at high volume on a continuous loop.
During the blazing heat of the day, a dehydrated Pete will be frog-marched around Bangkok's many temples - including Wat Pra Kheow (Temple of the Emerald Buddha) and Wat Arun (Temple of Dawn). At night, he will be transferred to the Mambo Cabaret on Washington Square where provocatively dressed katoeys will prance about miming to Judy Garland songs.
Tearful Pete will be begging for rice and water when he sees the Mango Sauce finger buffet - selected exclusively from the shelves of the nearest 7/11. He'll soon be gagging on their hideous fish paste sandwiches and those soggy triangles of sponge cake that they jokingly refer to as pizza. The notorious "smoky bite" - a pale cylindrical accretion of unidentified animal parts on a stick - is guaranteed to make him puke.
If all that fails, I'll batter the swaggering little fucker with a golf club.
(Story spotted by Basil Brush).
[Posted to News by David]
*** THE COMMENT FORUM IS NOW CLOSED ***
News
Jail for Thailand's YouTube fans
Thaksin to buy Manchester City
Pattaya porn baron's eye-popping attorneys
Sex-offenders register for Thai coyote dancers
Vice cops bust John T. Bone in Pattaya
Nightlight: Missionary position for Thai prostitutes
Nana Plaza bible-bashers hoodwink BBC's Kate McGeown
Multiple bomb blasts rock Bangkok
Santa empties his sack in Thailand
Goodbye Mr Thaksin and good riddance
Fox News: Bangkok is "Pedophile Paradise"
JonBenet Ramsey's "killer" arrested in Bangkok
British man murdered, burned & dismembered by Thai ex-wife's relatives
Chav thug attacks Chiang Mai pensioner
Tail-chasing Thai monk defrocked
Gold-digging Thai brides will get 50%
Philippines sees rise in "Desperate Japanese"
Rangsit blowjob row blows over
Thai vegetable girls get fruity
The only good farang is a dead farang
Thai bargirl gobbles Frenchman's ring
Thai law-maker & cleric exposed as illicit shaggers
Coming soon to your inbox: Tsunami fish
Chinese police don't mess around
Farang girls who pay Thai men for sex
Farang crook poses as Thai bride
Don't discard those Pattaya condoms
My evil boss gets reincarnated
Numpty Dumpty had a great maul
Thai condom police await green light
Sex, lies and the Bangkok AIDS Conference
Thailand rises to condom challenge
Crack-head Pete Docherty treated in Thailand
Mother seeks justice for murdered son
Miss Thailand Universe outslutted by Miss Venezuela
Thai PM to sex-up Liverpool FC
Bangkok Post's non-PC boom boom teaser
Thai bars to close at 1am - yes, really!
Thai elephant dodges murder charges
Thai bars to close at midnight
Thailand bird flu deception unravels
Thai Elephant gets false teeth
Thai Culture Minister's nipple clamp down
Serious blow for Singapore cop
Thai PM poised to buy Fulham FC
Storms lash Southern Thailand: 24 feared dead
Cheating Thai wife throws baby in garbage
Buriram schoolgirl kidnap hoax exposed
Jesse Jackson to visit Bangkok
Survey reveals that Thais enjoy the best sex
Thai college Lolitas arouse lustful hacks
Bangkok's stray dogs prepare for APEC summit
Previously
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
December 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003







Readers' comments
June 10, 2004 1:08 PM
June 10, 2004 5:14 PM
June 10, 2004 9:50 PM
June 10, 2004 10:51 PM
June 11, 2004 2:23 AM
June 14, 2004 3:41 PM
June 15, 2004 3:37 PM
June 15, 2004 5:52 PM
June 15, 2004 6:57 PM
October 2, 2006 10:58 PM
January 22, 2007 7:58 PM
February 3, 2007 12:03 AM
March 6, 2007 12:18 PM
March 8, 2007 4:34 AM
April 18, 2007 6:01 PM
April 18, 2007 7:20 PM
April 18, 2007 7:26 PM
April 18, 2007 7:56 PM
April 19, 2007 1:21 AM
April 19, 2007 5:21 AM
April 19, 2007 8:33 AM