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Next month's summit will bring leaders from the 21 members of the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation Forum to Bangkok - including US President George W Bush. As part of a massive security operation, 3,000 American agents are already here.

Tough measures already in place include a crackdown on "showing" in go-go bars. Bashful delegates and their hangers-on are to be protected from exposure to nipples as they trawl red-light districts for hookers.

Other measures include packing Bangkok's rough sleepers off to remote temples and rounding up stray dogs. Aside from the concerns of some abbots, the relocation of street folk has attracted little criticism. However, many Thais have given the street dogs shelter in their homes while the catchers are at work. As with ugly bar girls, they boot them out only when the coast is clear.

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Excited politicians have asked the mobile phone companies to send out millions of text messages to keep their customers abreast of summit developments. Mercifully, company bosses have responded by saying that they will only send the messages to those customers who ask.

Leniency for drug-offenders

The 950 prisoners currently awaiting execution at Bang Khwang Maximum Security Prison learned this week that lethal injection will replace the customary firing squad from October 19th. Baffled police officers are wondering how this ruling applies to thousands of drug suspects currently at liberty who are normally dispatched with a single gun-shot to the head. Hooking them up to a complex arrangement of tubes and cylinders as they try to evade pursuit may prove difficult.

[Posted to News by David]

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