April 13 2007
Blog wars: Bangkok diplomat's own goal
"I saw him walking arm-in-arm with a girl that could only be described as a 2 dollar whore," writes Simon Peltier beneath an innocuous blog entry by Ian Proud, head of the British embassy's political section.
When the thirty-eight year-old diplomat agreed to be a guest blogger on The Nation's website, he also let them publish this photo.
Big mistake.
March 30 2007
Hackers attack Bangkok discussion boards
The hackers who yesterday attacked and disabled Mango Sauce also targeted 2Bangkok.com. Both denial of service (DoS) attacks happened simultaneously on the eve of a major political rally against Thailand's military junta.
This can't be a coincidence. My guess is that someone is testing the vulnerabilities of Bangkok's most popular Internet forums so that they can be quickly silenced in the event of a national crisis.
Most Thailand-based forums - like19sep.org - have already been shut down, blocked or heavily censored by shadowy pro-government organisations but attacking websites located outside Thailand (Mango Sauce is hosted in the US) represents a dramatic escalation of this campaign.
March 25 2007
Big Jimmy laments Thai love lost
Big Jimmy's achy breaky heart is flatlining after a bust-up with his Thai dreamgirl, Lee, so he's enlisted the help of Mr. Panda and the gang to win her back.
January 10 2007
Tanai Kwai shares Bangkok Girlfriend
With Stickman stitched up, Friskodude locked up and Baron Bonk giving up (due to ill health) the time has come for a new Thailand blogger to step up to the plate.
Spurred on by the critical acclaim that greeted his NotMangoSauce spoof, our very own Tanai Kwai now brings us BangkokGirlfriend.com.
This week, he questions the effectiveness of Thai girls learning English from the subtitles of pirated DVDs - as aptly illustrated by a quote from a knock-off version of Pirates of the Caribbean and its inept transcription:
You will offer what amounts to a full pardon.
You are for what the mom's stewed full tongue.
August 1 2006
Sam Sloan: Adventurer, babyfather & taxi driver
Sam Sloan fingered a pretty Thai girl for just two baht at a Chantaburi carnival and, impressed by this amazing deal, set about fingering a few more.
Later, he married a girl from Bang Na but they only spent one night together because her family forgot to mention the dowry. However, he ran into her again a few years later.
By then, she was a dancer in the King's Corner Bar on Patpong Road. Her number was 66. I picked her number took her to my hotel room and had sex with her for 500 baht... That second time I had sex with her, she gave me probably the best lay I had ever had in my life. I think she went with me only because she wanted to ask me if I had ever had sex with her cousin. I gave her the true answer. (Yes, I did).
July 15 2006
Japanese school girl up-skirt doggy-cam
Japanese school girls find the up-skirt doggy-cam irresistible but, while they're squealing "Ooo-eee... he's so cute!", he secretly videos their knickers.
June 27 2006
Turn your PC into a good girl
Like Norton Security, Thai bar girls tend to pop up when they're not wanted and, like McAfee Antivirus, they're always demanding money but at least they don't try to finish your sentences like MS Word.
Turning a bar girl into a good girl isn't easy but performing the same transformation on your computer is a breeze and, as we all know, good girls do it for free.
June 16 2006
Expat girl living in a sexpat world
Kat from Phuket is Thailand's most outspoken farang female podcaster. In fact, she's Thailand only farang female podcaster.
Today, the cheeky minx likens the Bangkok expat scene to "Revenge of the Nerds" and shares with us the heartache of having had feelings for an Austrian divemaster called Walter who turned out to be massively into ladyboys.
As a Western female in Phuket my options are very, very limited... A lot of the guys are often complete assholes. It's amazing... Some of them are quite good looking but they still go with the bar girls.
For the past five years, she's been on the lookout for an attractive Western man capable of behaving responsibly around beautiful Thai girls but, quite frankly, her grail-quest sounds hopeless. Dan Brown will probably steal the idea for his next book.
March 26 2006
True wireless broadband without the rip-offs
Wireless Internet access is seriously cool - especially when it's free (See Free wireless broadband in Thailand). Unfortunately, though, when Gunter next-door is surfing his favourite ladyboy art films, your free wireless broadband connection slows to a crawl and, short of throwing him a live one, there's not much you can do about it - except to buy your own connection.
When you take a look at what's on offer, you'll be annoyed to discover that Thailand's leading broadband provider, True Corp, doesn't want to let you use your own modem and they try to palm you off with a crappy one that hogs a USB port and connects like a clunky dial-up from the stone age.
If you want the convenience of a wireless connection, the cheeky twats will try to charge you an extra 50%. This is a total rip-off but the lack of any real competition in Thailand lets them take the piss out of their customers.
The good news, however, is that their sneaky restrictions are easy to overcome and, today, I'll explain how to connect a wireless modem to your True ADSL line without paying them an extra penny.
March 25 2006
Free wireless broadband in Thailand (It's True)
Free wireless broadband sounds too good to be True but, in Thailand, most people don't bother to secure their wireless Internet connections and many apartment buildings have now become free Wi-Fi hotspots.
The grumpy Swiss bloke in 14B who takes ladyboys four at a time probably doesn't even realise that half the building is piggy-backing his high-speed Internet connection.
This is how they do it:
February 23 2006
Thailand Stories: The new kid on the block
New websites about Thailand appear all the time but most of them are crap. ThailandStories.com is a welcome exception.
Dozens of established writers, such as ChuckWoww and Dana, have contributed articles that can't be found anywhere else. The site is work-safe but the authors don't shy away from adult themes.
Readers can leave comments and aspiring authors are invited to submit their work - with the possibility of earning a little beer money.
July 18 2005
Please listen to my fartings
When plied with mysterious "bulbs" shy Japanese girls are transformed into "farting iron women" who will happily rattle the windows of their small Tokyo apartments on video as they compete for the coveted title of "Fart Queen."
Farting Iron Woman #1, Ruka Ichinomiya (pictured), sounds quite accomplished:
She is very beautiful Japanese girl, so nice. But her farts is very big sounds and very bad smell. her fartings amaze most of all persons. It's great. Perhaps she can be winner in farting contest.
Only if the farting contest excluded a car-load of fat middle-aged farangs returning from Pattaya after a heavy weekend of beer and junk food. Ruka Ichinomiya couldn't hold a candle to that level of flatulence - unless she's prepared to risk losing her eyebrows.
Fart Woman #3, Wakana, shares with us the secret of her prodigious farting abilities:
September 12 2004
Naughty Mr Heffalump buys Thai bride
Naughty Mr. Heffalump receives a big box from Thailand and the animals of Magic Meadow try to guess what's inside.
Mrs. Cat thinks it's a big cake for everyone to share. Patrick Penguin thinks it's a telescope for looking at the stars. Spider frog thinks it's a truck to give everyone rides.
It is, in fact, a sexy young Thai lady who wants to give Mr Heffalump the ride of his life.
http://homepage.ntlworld.com/ashen1/
ashen/cartoon/heffalump.html
July 17 2004
Lesla's Thai lesbian love-in
When they're not dildoing each other into a frenzy, many luscious Thai lesbians enjoy visiting Lesla.com for a bit of lesbian-related news and chat. Before you take a look, however, be warned that it's a web-design train-wreck.
Cluttered, fussy and loaded with unnecessary JavaScript, the Lesla homepage will lock up your browser for a full 5 minutes but Basil Brush reckons that it's worth the effort because the personal ads section contains some great material.
im lesbians ! 100% i want to benaked running throng the streets i want to invite so-called chaos that you think i dare not be i want to be weightless flying through the air i want to drop all these limitations but the shoes upon my feet;
im not needy! i don`t get clingy much! i am not scared!i am not afraid as such! i am not dependent!rock solid stays in touch!doth i protest too much! i like female
It's almost as good as "My father is an eagle and my mother is a sparrow. That is why I should be on Nok Air" from the unhinged would-be trolley-dolly, Khun Jah (See Nok Air selects crew on TV game show).
Our next lonely muff-muncher invites so-called chaos with her excessive use of the caps lock key.
June 21 2004
Masie's dramatic soft toy confession
After our little run-in last week (See My never-ending rants about farang women), Masie, the British farang female Bangkok-based blogger who writes masiepullsitoff has decided to open her heart to me.
It becomes boring to meet farang men and have them wink, nudge and say things like "you must be gasping for it", and a little frustrating when every discussion comes down to whether or not I'm getting any. The joke is a little worn, don't you think? And can't quite agree with Dave that everything he writes is "gentle parody". Remember this?
"There is, however, some hope for our sex-starved farang chicks with attitude. A few thrifty guys have plugged into this niche market to save themselves 1,000 baht a night. Reportedly, it's like shooting blonde pussy in a barrel. The wise swordsman will go back to her place, boot the soft toys off the bed and quickly dump his load before getting back to join the lads for last orders."
Lucky us.
Why does Masie call me Dave? Abbreviation is an affliction for some people. If my name was "Ng" she'd probably shorten it. She is, however, my favourite British farang female Bangkok-based blogger so I'll cut her a bit of slack on this occasion.
If she isn't getting any, then it would be insensitive of me to rub her nose in it but I did ask her whether she had any soft toys.
May 25 2004
Revenge of the Turds
Type "turd" into a Google image search and up pops a bloke called Khun Sitawat from Thailand's prestigious Rajabhat Institute. His photo appears on the personnel page of the Institute's Information Department website.
http://wap.chandra.ac.th/cmt/person/person.htm (now removed unfortunately)
Despite being billed as a computer expert, Khun Sitawat is currently unaware that someone in his own department has saved his photo as "turd.jpg". By coding in the wrong dimensions, his cheeky tormentor has also stretched the image - giving Khun Sitawat's head a turd-like appearance.
The other mug-shots on the page are saved as the person's nickname. There are plenty of Thais with unfortunate nicknames like Poo and Bum but I've never heard of anyone called Turd and neither has my Thai girlfriend. This picture has to be a cruel practical joke perpetrated by a disgruntled co-worker. It illustrates all too well that if you upset a Thai person they will always get their revenge.
My guess is that the culprit is the fella at the foot of the page. He's the computer room administrator and, according to his photo's file name, he calls himself Sugarman. He's got the cheeky smile of a troublemaker and is probably cleverer and more popular than his boss.
February 4 2004
Ajarn.com: English teaching jobs in Thailand
Ajarn.com is the number one website for English teaching jobs in Thailand. Farangs who want to work in Thailand often end up teaching English and many find work by searching the Ajarn.com jobs database, which contains hundreds of English teaching jobs listed by region and salary.
There is, however, much more in Ajarn.com than just jobs. Thailand's strange English teaching subculture is fully explored too. Nightlife, work permits, accommodation and fashion tips (yes, really) are amongst the topics covered.
January 30 2004
Amuzing Thai Cartoons by M.J.B.
Amuzing Thai Cartoons by M.J.B. is chuckle-fest of cheeky cartoons about farang life in Thailand.
December 21 2003
Thaipro English language Thailand search engine
Thaipro is a unique search engine that covers only English language websites about Thailand. Irrelevant or poor quality sites are excluded. Their database contains over 250,000 links to sites about every conceivable topic.
You can search by keyword or browse their directory. The site also includes news, features and travel guides about Thailand.
Thaipro say "If it's Thailand we have it." They may well be right.
November 8 2003
Thai Visa and Bangkokchat
Thai Visa hosts the infamous Bangkokchat, the biggest online pickup joint in Thailand (see Farang pervert stalks Thai girls on Bangkokchat). Be careful in there.
The main part of the site offers in-depth info about Thai visa matters together with some business and finance coverage. A frequently updated Thai news section is compiled from a variety of sources and includes only the stories that are of interest to westerners.
You can browse their busy web board - the Thailand Expat Forum - and leave a comment yourself. It covers a variety of topics ranging from night entertainment to farang girls in Thailand.
www.thaivisa.com
www.bangkokchat.org
October 15 2003
Bangkok Bob's Thailand pages
Readers fed-up with guidebooks that describe only a sanitised Bangkok should consult Bangkok Bob. His free website offers a wealth of intelligent advice and, in some respects, puts the Lonely Planet to shame.
The tourist basics are covered in detail and it makes interesting reading for long-stay visitors and ex-pats too. Nightlife is well covered and so too is almost everything else. Successful beer drinking gets special attention. Don't miss Bangkok A-Z, the map section and strange things.
Bob obviously checks his facts. This makes a refreshing change from the opinion-heavy but fact-free Thailand postings we often read on the web. The tone is friendly and amusing. Visitors can add their own thoughts to a discussion board or email Bob directly.
The home page rarely changes but don't let that deter you from digging into this interesting site and returning often.
October 3 2003
Thai Websites - 3,000 sites reviewed
This is the web's most comprehensive listing of English-language websites about Thailand. Almost 3,000 sites have been reviewed and categorised.
Simple navigation allows visitors to search by keyword or category. Each site has a short description and visitors can vote to give it a rating. Unlike some of its namby-pamby competitors, Thai Websites also include sites with nightlife content.
September 29 2003
Stickman's guide to Bangkok
Kiwi ex-pat Stickman writes about his life in Thailand from first-time tourist to happily married English teacher. Like many westerners, he was initially attracted to the bar scene but gradually became disillusioned with it and ultimately married a respectable Thai woman.
His site started out as a factual guide to setting up home in Bangkok, enjoying the naughty nightlife and becoming an English teacher. Over the years, it grew into an interesting resource for readers involved with Thai women or seeking a new life in Thailand.
These days, our Bangkok commentator directs his energies into his popular weekly column. His wife is also drafted in to answer readers' questions. A diverse readership have contributed hundreds of submissions about their Thai adventures.
Previously
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
December 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
