NOT Mango Sauce: David "outed" by stalker

Johnnie Tokyo says:

You da man, Dave
Rat own brutha.

YOU DA MAN!

Pure mangosauce.
Piece coulda and shoulda gone on and on.

But yeah, like the man says . . .

Outta time ;-)

chris says:

all good things come to an end as they say!

Common Sense says:

Tanai your full of shit. David is obviously none other than David Hasselhoff himself, not some limp dick Daniel Craig. David even tried to hint at this in his Bar Girl Treasure Hunt article by pretending to have Hasselhoff be the guest host. The fools we've been for not catching onto this sooner. Your the man Hoff!!!

notphilHnot says:

not just not funny but sooooooooo notfunny as to be no not never notfunny.

Cotambear says:

This whole affair brings me fond memories of that wonderful Alan Partridge episode where he is stalked by his no. 1. fan.

"Get away from me you spastic, you're a mentalist!"

Pants Elk says:

All this conjecture is baseless, ignorant, and merely serves to feed the media tsunami of which this site is the calm eye. Yes, I know that's a hurricane with the calm bit in the middle, I just like the word tsunami better.
As David's trusted amanuensis (Alfred to his Batman) I am privy to his true-life identity, and I can tell you that every guess so far is wild of the mark. I can also tell you that I am sworn never to betray his trust by, for instance, posting a link here that would enable easy and rapid identification, thus bringing to an end his career in Crusading Tits-Out Journalism. And my pension plan.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/
6170718.stm

Saeb says:

Oooerrr......does this mean that my cover is blown as well?.
I mean, like, man, when I tell everyone that I was a Green Beret in the 'Nam and now am a super CIA death and mayhem expert to the newbies in Nana,am I discovered or uncovered?.

Oh well, back to masturbation over Britney pictures..........

The Galt has a lot to answer for.
Dec 11th is still my bet.

Jase says:

For farks sake. At least you could provide a prior warning that we're going to be confronted with a frickin bouquet of penises on that site. Now I have to go off and dig my eyes out with a blunt spoon.

Kasman says:

Another farang retard flings his way onto the Bangkok Scene with notmangosauce.som.

You have no balls at all. If you are going to jump into the fight, be prepared to throw some punches.

What a waste of a domain name.

A tribute website to Mango Sauce? Why if the fucking world would you do a tribute to Mango Sauce you fucking retard.

This reminds of the cartoon where the bus pulls up to Sukhumvit Road and all the circus clowns pile out.

Except in this case, the clowns are all these retard farangs that are begging for attention.

Now get your ass home and stay away from the computer like a good boy/or girl and maybe mommy will give you the attention and affection you are seeking.

We should start a new holiday here in Bangkok. We will it Retarded Farang Day.

People will line up and down both side of Sukhumvit Road all day and night while the retarded farangs are forced to walk the gauntlet while getting kicked in the balls from all sides.

Maybe after going through this, you will not put the rest of the world through your retarded bullshit.

This is the worst yet, although knowing farangs in Bangkok, it will probably get a lot worse.

Maybe notstickboybangkok.com is just around the corner.

DINKs!

notme.com, a.k.a. Lord Lucan, a.k.a thebamboorat says:

Kasman, I'm going to put my complete pig-ignorance on display here once again but please tell me just wtf that rant was all about???

Pants Elk says:

Kasman, him forget add "irony" smileyface to post!

Wombat says:

Having rediscovered my interest in tall, blonde women over the last weekend I have started each day in a great mood. Something of a rarity as I am not a morning person. The trouble with being in a good mood is it allows some bastard to come along & fuck it up for you. I have already encountered this weeks allocation & it is only Wednesday.

It is great to get home & enjoy a good belly-laugh while reading this & Tanai's take on internet stalkers.

Looper says:

Good effort T.K.

The biscuit is well and truly took.

Telemachus says:

"Another farang retard flings his way onto the Bangkok Scene with notmangosauce.som.

You have no balls at all. If you are going to jump into the fight, be prepared to throw some punches."
Kasman

Oh dear God Kasman do you know what you've done!!!!Do you have any idea who you were talking about?

Tanai Kwai ain't a newbie in fact he is more like an educated funnel web spider. Check the other threads if you don't believe me. Best of luck. That's it I'm heading for the hills where it's safe!!!

Jack Wow says:

Kazman, instead of "Retarded Farang day", how about "farangs who left their sense of humour on the plane day"

TK, I thought it was priceless, mate. Had me in stitches right down to the copyright at the bottom. Nice one.

Muadib says:

Too funny...

At least someone has a sense of humor...

Chao bambino...

Chuck says:

I'm waiting for Galt's book...

'If I Hadn't Done It'

Bob says:

"I'm waiting for Galt's book...

'If I Hadn't Done It'"

I have already forwarded all links for this Summers drama to Judith Regan and Fox nexs. They are definitely interested. Summers is about to hit the mainstream media.

Thaihome says:

David,
Milk that cow, kick that dead horse. Keep them hits ups.
TH

Cnut says:

BRILLIANT !!!!!!!

The Wiz says:

Maybe a better title for Galt's new book might be....

"Strawman: If I Only Had a Brain"

TANAI KWAI says:

“Most troubling are a series of blurred photographs taken in a poorly-lit area of Suvarnabhumi Airport which purportedly show George from ThaiVisa.com exposing a small area of skin through the fly hole of his sweat-stained slacks and challenging startled female cleaners to guess whether it's part of his penis or scrotum.”

Pure genius. Game Over.

Wombat, Looper, Jack Wow & Muadib (Christ, what a menagerie) – glad you got a chortle. Someone had to give David his own “NOT” homage.

“...Best of luck. That's it I'm heading for the hills where it's safe!!!”

Telemachus, you made my day.

Re: young Kasman it’s been some time since I've had the patience for someone so cruelly shortchanged by life. Have you ever seen a mentally deficient person call another person a “retard”? It’s really quite sad and poignant. I saw it once growing up and it broke my heart. Kasman breaks it all over again.

If you can look out two or three moves ahead and already see yourself bathed in someone’s blood and clutching a fistful of their warm entrails, it’s hardly any fun. Funny thing about shooting fish in a barrel... It’s supposed to be easy, but if the fish are small and insignificant it becomes quite a bit harder.

Goodnight!

I’m here all week!

TK

NotAndy says:

Pissed myself laughing reading through this. Nice work David and TK...

Might even keep the trolls and arseholes at bay for a while.

kingwilly says:

love the notmangosauce TK - bloody good work!

taking a irreverant pisstake with a decent bit of writing style.. well it doesnt actually make it NOTmangosauce since David has a similar writing style and sense of humour

keep it up boys!

faatm says:

Love it !! classic , brilliant
Whos idea was that ?? give the man a beer

hentaigaijin says:

very good.

Combover says:

Majestic, TK.

Indeed says:

You are all a bunch of sad pathetic losers. I love Stick but Summers is tighter, Summers is a rat but I cant afford a toothless mamasan that had her day 20 years ago. Im black and im lonely, if only I could get some sleep......fuck me people get a life....fuck Stick, Summers, Stickyboy, Stickywhatever and any future 'Not' wannabees....why dont you all have a cluster-fuck and get it over with!!!

Cunts, all of ya!! Fuck off and die!

Datukmike says:

How about David gets back on task with some decent articles about shagging rather than all this website wars nonsence.

Kasman says:

TK,

Some more of your profilic horse crap? Before shooting fish in a barrel, make sure the fish aren't armed!

Some of you dillweeds here have this sense of internet personna that you think are some one very special and above the rest of the pack.

Not every farang here is a dipshit school teacher or internet wannabe?

If you play golf, maybe you can come out and join me and the Chief from Lumpini Station on our weekly match.

Bring lots of baht though, because betting and losing is a requirement.

FORE!

Damn, sliced another one into the woods

moss says:

I heard from a friend back in the US who claims he rung "themantours" and spoke with Dwayne, down in Ft Lauderdale, Florida. "TMT's has nothing to do with the fool" he said. He wasn't too very happy about the association to summers article: "Virgins: the holy grail" either. "Themantours" is now looking into some form of mitigation against summers self-destructive behavior.

Arsehole needs the attention though.

(January 7th is my guess)

Mr Shifter says:

Indeed 'Indeed'.

You are, indeed, a sad pathetic, illiterate fuckspud.... are you not, Keith?

stu says:

ha ha
great stuff guys...really
now what ever happened to that douche from erm, that site run by the guy with no balls and his girl friend who had !
err, remember ?
(its was called whats the something)
the ugly couple who lived in BKK and made a living out of wasting space
david ?

----------

Hi Stu

The "guy with no balls" took his website down and apologized for trying to have Mango Sauce banned so I agreed to remove the article that exposed him as a hypocrite and promised never to mention his name again.

Regards
David

Dicer says:

"Have you ever seen a mentally deficient person call another person a “retard”? .... but if the fish are small and insignificant it becomes quite a bit harder.- TK

I always thought this TK fella was a bit touched. Now I think he's also some kind of creative masonic lodge leader. Another one to stack up on his "funny" and "prolific" appellations. The turn of events since the eponymous stick-nonstick phenomenon started has led to this inevitable yet twisted send up, which makes the whole thing a huge smirk. One also has to comment that in true yank fashion the race goes to the solemn, loud and self-wrapped. If you think you're a great funny writer, you must say that you are. And others must nod. Otherwise every time a blogger one contributes to succeeds more, one dies a little a la Galt. Interesting symbiosis this. So should any person who is prepared to be a great contributor automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever posting or perhaps limited to a resigned salty Dana-like half sentence. Evidently not says the whole stick-nonstick smirk situation. Not to forget that "You are Galt" is fast becoming a label to anyone who comes up with vaguely disagreeble notstick like ideas.... You know when you've been Galted!

I mean, what other culture could have produced individuals belonging in the long highway of the Notstick TK continuum and an audience that relishes the joke? Not to mention the lumpen chorus born in cages and unable to visualise any world beyond their familiar bars of perviness. One man is a rice hooker happy, mollified Archie Bunker type who claims to get down to the marrow of the bone hand on heart and tongue in cheek and finally usurped the acclaimed man's place at the helm. A kerfuffle ensues. Long Noise and pause. Then walks a small, but imperfectly formed man eager in his pregnant excitement, a bit like Walter Mitty doing Raymond Burr tearing hooker happy Archie apart. Result is huge smirk. As, apparently, a thai blog is a place where numerous cockhappy ideas are held at low cost with liquidy issues, and with interchangeable webmasters anything seems to be acceptable, which to the sidestreet smirkers is a continual reminder that there is nothing more funny than the stuff of those who do well what is not worth doing at all. Or are we progressing along the grey cobbled street to entropy? Still funny though....The smirk continues...

Kasman says:

Dicer,

While you are off worshipping TK and other retards here, go find yourself a life.

Just because a bunch of uneducated retards think you are good writer, does not mean you are.

Remember the Pied Piper? The retards are lost and in need of someone to follow and in this case you are one of the chosen.

Go win the Nobel, then come back and tell us how great you are.

But in the meantime, posts like the one above is a piss poor attempt at the Nobel, it has no merit, it's not funny and it shows how hard you are trying to scream "Look at me, I am Dicer, armed with my theosaurus and dictionary, I can be a prolific writer of internet bullshit."

My advice to you is to get lost. Your writing sucks and you fool no one.

Probably another idiot school teacher farang promoted from making french fries at McDonalds.

Jazz up your writing by using key words like mother-fucker, son of a bitch, asshole, cocksucker, jerk-off.

I think if you do that you will become something of a cult leader to the Pied Piping idiots that flock here by the droves.

TANAI KWAI says:

Kasman,

If you didn't claim to be such a towering figure in Thailand (and I guess we'll just have to take your word for it) I'd question why anyone would sit in front of an inexhaustible pile of their own feces with an ice-cream scooper. But accepting your premise, I guess I should be honored that you are taking time to fling these balls of shit in my direction between golf outings with police captains and other mafiosi.

"Dicer,

While you are off worshipping TK and other retards here, go find yourself a life.

Just because a bunch of uneducated retards think you are good writer, does not mean you are."

Your compulsion to denigrate thousands of people you don't know suggests you should probably consult with a health professional. I would wager that you are not the most accomplished person here. (Although it's probably a tight race between you and another deep thinker who used to call himself "STFU.")

You don't get the joke, sir. On this board we are just a string of characters in Trebuchet font. People know us by our words, not our deeds. No one "worships" anyone.

Nevertheless, I hasten to relieve Dicer of what must be an exquisite level of discomfort by clarifying for you and other careless readers that his supposed praise of me above is, at best, lefthanded, backhanded, shrouded, tepid, evanescent, and vanishingly small. (I would have actually preferred a straight insult.)

Point is, Mr. Kasman, we're just having some fun. Relax.

Dicer,

I never thought I would be directing the same general sentiments at you as apply to the previous fellow (would you?!!).

"If you think you're a great funny writer, you must say that you are. And others must nod."

Gosh. That's just mean.

You are clearly frustrated with the level of discourse here. What passes for humor among this group of late has filled you with a sort of ennui, draining you of your usual vigor for posts with an infinite horizon.

"Then walks a small, but imperfectly formed man eager in his pregnant excitement... Result is huge smirk."

I'm doing my small, imperfect and pregnant best under the circumstances, but if all I can manage is a smirking assault on the foibles of this farang world you'll have to suffer through it until one of us disappears.

What you mistake for fawning endorsements from mindless zombies are generally just polite attaboys from guys who like to have a laugh.

Funny thing is, you of all people richly enjoy encouraging comments. Or don't you remember how you gushed appreciation when your ardent fans demanded their Dicer "fix"?

Guess what? Turns out you just may be human.

TK

Pants Elk says:

TK, I love you and want to have your baby. Yes, people will talk. Small people! Narrow-minded people! Let them talk! Tonight the stars write our names in the heavens!

(stares at bottle uncomprehendingly)

TANAI KWAI says:

"Havin' my baby
What a lovely way of sayin' how much you love me
Havin' my baby
What a lovely way of sayin' what you're thinkin' of me"

--Paul Anka (You're) Havin' my baby

Anonymous says:

mother-fucker, son of a bitch, asshole, cocksucker, jerk-off....

My GOD!!! It's working, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU Kasman, I feel so... Jazzy.

Kasman, you're a genius, and your superior edumacation shines through in every post. I'm calling my university to demand my money back.

Teach me, oh master.

Kasman says:

TK

By playing the devils advocate, I can arouse tempers and excite readers into defending themselves in a war of words.

Why do this?

Some one has to periodically call the bluff to make things interesting.

Having a post full of head nodders and internet bullshitters gets boring after the first 100 episodes.

It's not personal, it's entertainment value

Common Sense says:

Dicer,
Thank you for reutrning to posting your usual mindless drivel. Your last attempt at humor in a previous thread almost enticed me to actually begin reading what you write on more occasions.

Kasman,
Even though I hate to admit it anything from Dicer is of greater entertainment value than what you posses. Next time you try to make a stand don't backpeddle out of it leaving your dignity and manhood behind by trying to justify your stance as being for the entertainment benefit of the rest of us.

Kasman says:

Common sense is what you don't have, not beat it back under the rock you crawled out from.

Jack Wow says:

This could get more bloody than Galt vs Stickman.

"Towering Figure" Kazman
vs
Common "Trailer Trash" Sense

What a mouth-watering match-up!

Common Sense says:

Jack I've been missing you honey. Me love you long time. I'm looking in to purchasing a double-wide for us. MUWAAH!!!

Kasman,
I think it is you who lacks the common sense. After all it is you who can't even understand what Tanai Kwai is saying. Maybe you should stick to reading Galt's site, where posts are written in a more appropriate grade level for the likes of you.

Dick Renegade says:

I don't get it? Virgin bar girls? I don't think they exist. There are plenty of anal virgins that you can talk into trying for a few extra baht, but I have never heard about true virgin bar girls up for a first time sale. The only time I have ever heard of that sort of transaction occuring is in Japan. In Japan, a good percentage of high school girls will prostitute themselves through teleclubs (pronounced Tera-krub in Japanese). I have hear dof instances where a girl has never had sex and wants money (usually to buy gawdy cdesigner clothes) and one of her Japanese high school friends will call the teleclub with her and broker a 'first timer' deal with a Japanese man. Beware, this type of service is only available to Japanese men. You must speak Japanese and actually be Asian to use that type of service. Another draw back is that the girls will like charge you upwards of $1000 USD or roughly 115,000 Yen for a first time Japanese teen. This market is virtually closed to foreigners, so don't even bother. It is also worth noting that Japanese rarely practice adequate birth control, even in mature relationships - let alone use condoms with strangers met through teleclubs. The girls that occupy these services are not professionals and the STD rates among Japanese teens in high schools have suffered accordingly.

Saeb says:

Dicer,
You are a star - keep it up mate.
Anyway - anyone missing a Scouse dickhead?.
He's in hospital - bastard stabbed me in the foot on Friday evening after dinner with the Ms.
She is still rolling around laughing.
My foot hurts.
I suspect he hurts more.
(Try Chula hospital if you are missing an idiot).
Cheers,
Saeb.

Dicer says:

"Nevertheless, I hasten to relieve Dicer of what must be an exquisite level of discomfort by clarifying for you and other careless readers that his supposed praise of me above is, at best, lefthanded, backhanded, shrouded, tepid, evanescent, and vanishingly small. (I would have actually preferred a straight insult.) " - TK

more like the TK in the notmangosauce tone....

""If you think you're a great funny writer, you must say that you are. And others must nod."

Gosh. That's just mean." - TK

This actually was an oblique reference to the countless people who felt aggrieved by stickman for not considering them worthy including their leader. And then your notmangosauce put it rather nicely.... so hope you get my drift now. I ramble along, and come to think of it again it could also mean a hyperbole of yank writers who write something good and have to say (and do say) that it's good.... as opposed to the excruciatingly self depricating Brits... etc etc.

Whatever subtext aside I actually thought it good and funny, not to mention putting Kasman on a leash here, and you shouldnt get offended with a little jibe...all that imperfect formed stuff is an adornment....well let's see, who's perfect here? not me for sure and not Kasman who needs to drink rice water or something draining.... I said your stuff (alongside the whole saga) was REPEAT funny and smirk inducing.....isnt that complement enough for you?

Anyway let me say it in short: well done! How about that. Cheers and take it easy.

P.S. Jackwow said it succinctly about the two other fellas. This is really funny though. Everyone says it's nice. One guy chides TK for the cock flower pic. Kasman (the Lumpini cop station boss' golf buddy) vehemently attacks TK. Dicer rambles as usual. Kasman nips at Dicer and TK. TK wonders about Dicer and nips Kasman. And Common Sense barks at Dicer and nips Kasman. Jackwow puts a sort of ellipses to upcoming canine events.

Saeb says:

The Ms has been falling around weeing herself all day reading this guff.
She finds it strange that we can insult each other to our heart's content.
And why not after all?.

The Scouse dickhead who stabbed me - if you Liverpool people have any concern for your own ; Buy him a ticket.
Friday night at corner of Soi 12.
(Sukhumvit).

My lot are quite put out.
Please pass the word along.
Thanks.

TANAI KWAI says:

Apologies, Dicer. Perhaps it was reflexive defensiveness on my part. These things tend to endure...

Had a negotiation with some (South) Koreans in Seoul a month or so ago during the height of the controversy over Kim Jong Il's most recent antics. Over lunch I asked their CEO about speculation that North Korea has many thousands of sleeper cells in the South ready to be activated in the event of war. Their reply? "We actually worry a lot more about an invasion from Japan. They have been building up their military capability." I replied that China's military build-up has been exponentially greater over the same period and would seem to pose more of a threat. "We like China," he responded. "China helped us to repel the Japanese."

At this point, I was just doing my job to ennervate him for advantage so I asked what Korea would do if the Chinese invaded Taiwan. "Nothing," he said. I pointed out that America would be treaty-bound to defend Taiwan, and that Korea would be expected to honor its alliance with America by assisting America and JAPAN in the fight against China. When smoke started coming out of his ears and he began to sputter and shake like a malfunctioning Yul Brynner in "Westworld," my colleagues suggested that I relent. So I asked him if he liked to eat dogs.

This said, those who fail to learn the lessons of history are doomed to take it in the shorts. No one would deny the mindbending cruelty of the WWII Japanese military. And Abe does want to improve Japanese military capability. And the Japanese have done an unsatisfactory job of memorializing their wartime acts in their history books. AND they still tend to undertake these kinds of hijinks:

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/en/doc/
2003-09/28/content_268324.htm

(anyway)

Saeb says:

Just had a look at notmangosauce.com.
Ace, keep it up, it restores faith in the ability of humanity to rip the piss.
Ms thinks that Brits are deranged to a point and more.
Aren't we?.

Dicer says:

Countries like Japan, China, Korea, Singapore and Thailand have never had an actual closure to the second world war and are in a mid 30s limbo. This guy who used to be the sing ambassador to the UN reckons that the reason behind that is the willingness to waddle in mindless conflict avoidance over and above lasting resolutions.

http://www.mahbubani.net/book1.html

He also reckons that Asian civilisation (idealism) ended with the Sung dynasty. Clever guy Kishore and many agree with him. One can equally suggest that civilisation ended with the end of Constantinople. Really? yeah, sure the Enlightment etc are just shadowy cave ideas in the attempt to understand the Greeks...it's always the bloody Greeks innit.... idealism vs relativism. But the drooling tart in the BTS reading her comics or the Japanase salaryman hazed into his manga tome in the Tokyo subway are not going to give a rats arse now are they?

Re the Zhuhai Hotel orgy ...once or twice a year the conceited Chinese with chips on there shoulders find something to kick a stink about. A recent survey puts another angle to the collective consiousness of the Chinese who are experiencing more riots and strife as they grow wealthy. Here is a hint...

http://bbs.chinadaily.com.cn/redirect.php?
fid=6&tid=533097&goto=nextnewset

"Of the more than 10,000 respondents, 64% said they would not want to be Chinese if they were reincarnated. The main reason, given by almost 40% of the respondents, was that Chinese citizens lacked human dignity."

Holiday orgies across China, from Shanghai to Chongping are all to commonly thrown by Chinese bosses for their minions. When the Japs do it it becomes a politicised and pivotal issue of catharsis. Why? Well no closure is why. Also indirectly if the Japs came clean once for all it would have helped a bit.

On a different note if you really want to rattle the Thais (boardroom or karachakan dept level gerontocrats) mention Phibun and his enduring legacy and they'll stammer and sweat. Those who coast along in their unthinking ways will just blink at you of course....or you could equally make remarks about the boiling sewer everyone pretends doesnt exist, the pretentious Bushido antics of the Thai Army (even the Lao can beat these sissies for heaven's sake).... actually everyone hates the army so they'll probably agree if you slag the army off..... Or sometimes I'll say, "if it wasn't for the US military in 1946 this place would be China today....." Or after a few drinks I can suggest that the mamasans can run the country better than the boys.... It's Borat's land I'm afraid.

A caveat to all of this is that most of them dont give a toss so they'll just do a mental erase of what you said and ignore it all.

Mario says:

DAVE is the best !!! ....

seems like NOT*.com is cool this days ;-)

well at least jelousy is still the gasoline for peoples with too much time/money ;-)))

well noting can beat MS anyway!