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August 29 2003

Farang pervert stalks Thai girls on Bangkokchat

Bangkokchat bans naughty boys who break the rules. This bloke must have slipped through the net.

Farang pervert stalks Thai girls on Bangkokchat

Farang Bangkokchat pervert

>> HornyGuy has joined room #bangkokchat
ThaiGirl> Hello ka
HornyGuy> Hi
ThaiGirl> i from Thailand
HornyGuy> I know that, stupid
ThaiGirl> sorry honey :-(
ThaiGirl> u want talk with me?
HornyGuy> Why should I?
ThaiGirl> forget it mai pen rai
HornyGuy> Hey wait a minute
ThaiGirl> what?
HornyGuy> Sorry I'm just a bit paranoid.
ThaiGirl> ???
HornyGuy> I 'think too much'
ThaiGirl> why honey?
HornyGuy> I'm hiding from the cops
HornyGuy> The boys in brown
ThaiGirl> LOL
HornyGuy> Don't fucking laugh at me
HornyGuy> It's no joke
ThaiGirl> what u do?
HornyGuy> You don't want to know
ThaiGirl> i do
ThaiGirl> pleeeeeease honey na na na ;-)
HornyGuy> I fucked an elephant
HornyGuy> Hello?

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ThaiGirl> u crazy guy baa
HornyGuy> Send me your photo
ThaiGirl> why?
HornyGuy> So I know you aren't a cop
ThaiGirl> i no cop
HornyGuy> Then send me your photo
HornyGuy> Hello?
ThaiGirl> i no want send u i no beautiful
HornyGuy> Most cops aren't
ThaiGirl> I NO COP!!!
HornyGuy> Then send me your photo
HornyGuy> Hurry up
ThaiGirl> i no want send
HornyGuy> Fuck you, cop
ThaiGirl> I NO COP U CRAZY GUY!!!
HornyGuy> Then send it
ThaiGirl> ok what u email?
HornyGuy> Just send it here
ThaiGirl> ok *PIC*
Thaigirl> u get?
HornyGuy> Just a second
Thaigirl> my friend take it last year
ThaiGirl> i lose my kilo now
HornyGuy> I hope so
ThaiGirl> ?!?!?!
ThaiGirl> why u speak bad?
HornyGuy> Did I hurt your feelings?
ThaiGirl> yes
ThaiGirl> i no lose kilo too much
HornyGuy> Will you feel better if you see mine?
ThaiGirl> yes
HornyGuy> Hang on
HornyGuy> Here it is *PIC*
ThaiGirl> this no u!!!
HornyGuy> Yes it is
ThaiGirl> profile pic no same same
HornyGuy> The profile photo is a fake
HornyGuy> I use it to fool the cops
ThaiGirl> u baby face guy
HornyGuy> You're so fat you need an aerial photo
ThaiGirl> go fuck yourself
HornyGuy> I was going to until I saw your photo
HornyGuy> I'll never get a hard-on again
ThaiGirl> why u speak bad too much?
ThaiGirl> i no should send photo before
ThaiGirl> why u hurt me?
HornyGuy> So you think baby-face doesn't hurt me?
ThaiGirl> i think u lie
HornyGuy> I think you have your own ZIP code
ThaiGirl> u bad guy jai rai
ThaiGirl> people joking me all my life
HornyGuy> Ok, I'm sorry
ThaiGirl> u no sorry
HornyGuy> You're right, I'm not
HornyGuy> HAARRRRR!
ThaiGirl> u boring now
HornyGuy> Aww, I'm sorry
ThaiGirl> i put u on ignore
HornyGuy> Wait a second
HornyGuy> We got off on the wrong foot
HornyGuy> Wanna start over?
ThaiGirl> no
HornyGuy> I'll eat your pussy
ThaiGirl> ???
HornyGuy> You heard me
HornyGuy> I said I'd eat your pussy
ThaiGirl> but u little brother no hard
HornyGuy> Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy?
ThaiGirl> i want u horny
HornyGuy> Well I'm not like most guys
HornyGuy> I get turned-on in other ways
ThaiGirl> ???
HornyGuy> Do you really want to know?
HornyGuy> You have to tell me yes or no
ThaiGirl> i no sure
HornyGuy> Why?
ThaiGirl> because
HornyGuy> Because why?
ThaiGirl> u boom boom elephant
ThaiGirl> u say i fat
ThaiGirl> now u want eat my pussy
ThaiGirl> u strange na?
HornyGuy> No
ThaiGirl> i think u strange guy
HornyGuy> Fine
HornyGuy> I won't do it then
ThaiGirl> i no say that
HornyGuy> So is that a yes?
ThaiGirl> i think so
HornyGuy> Ok
HornyGuy> I need your help getting excited though
HornyGuy> Are you willing?
ThaiGirl> what u want me do?
HornyGuy> I need you to talk like a pirate
ThaiGirl> ???
HornyGuy> That's a 'jon sala' to you
HornyGuy> When I start to go limp... you say HARRRR!!!
HornyGuy> Ok?
HornyGuy> Hello?
ThaiGirl> u no serious!
HornyGuy> Oh yes I am
HornyGuy> It's my fantasy
ThaiGirl> u crazy guy jing jing!!!
HornyGuy> Do you want it or not?
ThaiGirl> i want
HornyGuy> Then you'll do it for me?
ThaiGirl> ka
HornyGuy> Ok here we go
HornyGuy> I gently remove your panties
HornyGuy> and I begin to massage your thighs
HornyGuy> You're getting really juicy thinking about
HornyGuy> my tounge brushing up against them
HornyGuy> I softly begin to touch your wet pussy
HornyGuy> I run my tounge down your smooth slit
ThaiGirl> mmmm yeah
HornyGuy> Uh oh... going limp
ThaiGirl> Har
HornyGuy> You have to do better than that
HornyGuy> Your photo was really bad
ThaiGirl> HARRRRRRRRRRRR
HornyGuy> Ahh much better
HornyGuy> Your pussy moistens with every stroke
HornyGuy> I softly suck on your clit
HornyGuy> bringing it in and out of my mouth
HornyGuy> Your juices run down my chin
HornyGuy> Your scent fills my nose
HornyGuy> I feel empowered by your femininity
ThaiGirl> mmmmmm u good
HornyGuy> I feel your thighs tighten as I suck
HornyGuy> Going limp
ThaiGirl> HARRRRRRR
HornyGuy> Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks
HornyGuy> You begin to sway back and forth
HornyGuy> Going limp
ThaiGirl> this stupid
HornyGuy> ...still limp
HornyGuy> Do it!
ThaiGirl> HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
HornyGuy> I turn you around to lick your arsehole
HornyGuy> and pry apart your massive butt-cheeks
HornyGuy> I see the hair around your arsehole
HornyGuy> covered in shit-nuggets
ThaiGirl> WTF?!?!?!
HornyGuy> They stink really bad
ThaiGirl> OMG STOP!!!
HornyGuy> I get fed up with your ugly fat butt
HornyGuy> I tear off your wooden peg-leg
HornyGuy> and ram it up your arse!
ThaiGirl> U FUCKING PYSCHO!!!
HornyGuy> Then I pour hot caramel over your head
HornyGuy> and turn you into a fucking toffee-apple
HornyGuy> You like it, you little Thai pirate slut!
ThaiGirl> FUCK U ASSHOLE!!!
HornyGuy> I kick you in the face
HornyGuy> Your parrot flys away
HornyGuy> ...going limp again
HornyGuy> Hello?
HornyGuy> Say it!
>> ThaiGirl has left room #bangkokchat
HornyGuy> HAARRRRRR!!!!!

[Posted to Fiction by David]

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Readers' comments

Ben says:

This is good fun!

ha ha says:

that's too damn funny, made me cry at the end..............

... says:

i can't help laughing when finsih reading this conversation. There are lots of horny words that i have never learnt in any english classes at my school.

Dennis says:

that was harrrrrful funny mate

Mike Hunt says:

Is this a channel for fairy tales ? Write for the magazines...there's money in that.

R . Sole says:

Excellent!!!

Jay-D says:

i think people should talk about what they want to and administrators should just ban those who have been reported to them by other user's at least 3 times and sometimes people just want to have some fun so why deny them the freedom of just having fun i think the idea of bkkchat is great but the ban of users is just a waste of time and should only be used in drastic cases
thank u for u'r time i appreciate itone of bkkchat's biggest fans Jay-D

NuchieThailand says:

it's so fucking stupid. Don't you have better things to do? I was in bkkchat for a few times just to see how it was. there were too many perverts. it's alright to chat just for fun or to kill time, though. there are only an ugly horny farang guys that just looking for sex and Thai girls that looking for a farang bf. I think it's a waste of time.. To all Thai girls you can never find what you are really looking for from bkkchat than a quick fuck, trust me.. I call it 4-F club.. FIND THEM, FEEL THEM, FUCK THEM, FORGET THEM..

Bahrainboy says:

effin' hilarious. As good as any Pattaya bar conversation I've ever heard.

Ed says:

I know who that is.

That's my bald American mate.

I know he was a bit depressed recently.

sparks says:

you funny!!!! and so is Bkkchat it's like the Jerry Springer of chatrooms and Jerry rules

Paul says:

Can't see what all the ongoing arguements are about concerning Thai wives/ girlfriends.I've been married in London now for 3 years to and have a child of 2 years old,no problems.If you're not sure or have to contact this site don't do it,use your own common sense,think about it ,Paul

Ben says:

BKK-Chat has been an educational room for years & had brought many strangers to be friends&lovers. I agreed that this room should be a cleanroom for everyone, but on the other hand with the freedom of speech and press, if 2 people want to dirty chat in a pvt they should be free to do so. It's a method to allow scholars to learn a higher level of knowledge, in a true english usage. One should be ban only if there's a report, and only if the ignore mode is not working. I was never using dirty words in the room but I got banned just like everyone else. My proposal is this: the automatic bans should be banned.

TOR says:

I was about to laugh myself to death while i was reading the text. It was impossible to comment it the first 15 minutes after, because my eyes were filled with tears (though I'm not sure what kind of tears that was). And I can't understand how a girl could put up with all the sh*t HornyGuy wrote at the beginning and the middle of that conversation.

Dick Headley says:


Maybe she wasn't a girl. I often go on chat groups and pretend to be a Thai girl looking for romance. Think about it.

Alex says:

I have just wet myself

Anonymous says:

I live in farangland and am male. I went through a phase of extreme boredom and got in touch with my femenine side by pretending to be a Thai Girl on BKK chat.
It got very dull having guys say, hello what your name ? You have nice face? Can I fuck your ass?
I was about to give up my new ID of NiceGirl 23 when a poster claiming to be an a American woman in BKK came on line and very carefully befriended me, asked me about my family (it was 3am Thai time) and had polite conversation.
Eventually she explained that she was a lesbian and would like to spend the night with me and would take me shopping the next day.
I told her to get a taxi to the Grace Hotel, go in the coffee shop and ask for Nok.

cheers

HPotter says:

somebody who talks in this negative way has a lot of negative thinking and maybe no good satisfied life. these people often search for weak points in other persons that their own weaknesses seem to be much smaller. defend yourself of these people when you¥re a little bit intelligent. there were human in the stone age talking in a better way.

dexlowe says:

That's one of the funniest pieces of writing I've seen in a long time. I'm still pissing myself. Strange that anyone should take it seriously. It's a spoof, folks, nothing more -- but a brilliant one at that. And don't think I don't know -- I was on bangkokchat for a couple of years under the name Biter. Please, can we have more of this irreverence?

Dex.

PS: The line "your photo was really bad" -- classic humour.

JR says:

how uncouth. Simply a matter of a Thai girl not understanding the rude gene found in farang.

Emile Post says:

'... the rude gene found in farang.'

The short list:

1) The Thai who will not let others exit a lift before the Thai charges in.

2) The Thai who does the same on the SkyTrain.

3) In any type of queue situation, the Thai who refuses to acknowledge that others have arrived before the Thai simply makes for the front.

The list could be longer.

Your cherished Thai politeness is a sham, as any such performance is anywhere. Those who make a show of politeness are not good; they wish to appear good.

Out of the sandbox for you, JR. Go elsewhere and diddle your stupidity gene someplace where you might appear more competent.

JR says:

If was a half joke remark but i see it struck a nerve. As for Train issues there is a system of exiting and entering that you haven't locked onto yet. Organized chaos. As for queue situation , i'd have to be there to see it for myself. But being at a place first means nothing unless you are in queue. Why wait around until that person pulls out a cell phone and goes wandering off finding his friend he was waiting for in the first place before you move along.

To want to appear polite is better than fully impolite and showing it? You'd say nay i'm sure.

I'll admit some people will be openly rude to others, but being polite only matters if the other person can appreciate it. If you havent noticed Farangs are sometimes seen as inferior, get used to it it happens when yer a minority, check out your own country. Toleration only goes up to a point, then things boil over.

Emilio Post says:

Your skill at clairvoyance is remarkable. Struck a nerve? Laughable. The provocateur routine needs work.

It's clear English is not your primary language. But rather than encourage you to improve your English I recommend you do just the opposite, for it seems you have learned just enough English to reveal your idiocy and your hopelessly incoherent thought. What's the use of speaking more than one language when you can't think in any of them?

Don't answer that.

TANAI KWAI says:

I like the Post brothers.

(...)

JR says:

You are in fact wrong about my english skills and I could spit out my pedigree but I won't. I have nothing to prove to someone like yourself. Your statement only shows how flawless your observation skills are and have been (sarcasm). This discussioin has moved beyond rational and into a typical mudslinging session. You've shut me out , congratulations, I can't lower myself that low.

TANAI KWAI says:

Speaking of "striking a nerve." (wryness)

TANAI KWAI says:

Your "pedigree"? I'm going to guess -- just a guess, mind you -- that you're a Toy Fox Terrier.

http://www.akc.org/breeds/recbreeds/toyfoxterrier.cfm

"...From the hunt to the show ring, the Toy Fox Terrier has become a cherished companion dog and excellent show piece. The Toy Fox Terrier has shown that he is at home in conformation, obedience and agility trials, his favorite spotlight is the center stage of his owner's life."

(...)

Estragon Post says:

ëDid you hear that?'

ëHear what?'

ëThat noise.'

ëWhat noise? What was it?'

ëI don't know. It sounded like, maybe, disembodied flatulence.'

ëWhat? Why would you say that? Don't you think ìdisembodied flatulenceî is a little overwrought? How could something be like disembodied flatulence? You've either met with some desembodied flatulence or you've met with something else entirely. This sort of egregious simile overuse should beó'

ëYeah yeah all right. Not that then. It didn't sound like that. It sounded like some carping halfwit.'

ëOh that. Yes, I heard it.'

ëWell?'

ëWell what?'

ëWell what do we do about it?'

ëNothing. Ignore it. It'll go away. It always does.'


For JR (above). The one who writes comments on this web site (this one right now) and who does not lower himself to low (low) but is higher man and higher himself than all this (explanation).

Cogito Errr posing as Thailadyboy4U says:

Fuckin' hilarious; a spoof it is...

Having heard/read of so many falang guys admitting to reverse online gender roles, I wouldn't be surprised if ThaiGirl is really in fact a trailer trash white boy sittin' in his mama's knickers typing away with his limp cock and a goat wedged up his ass. (errr...sorry Bubba, I owe you one)

chris says:

on line gender bending. thanks it made me grin. kind of related is the thong lo internet cafe where thai chicks use the web cam. many times i have been sat there when a shriek rings out. i turn and find a thai girl covering her eyes and full screen is a guy wanking. it seems sad fukers get talking and then switch on there web cam.

odd thing. its mostly americans waxing there dolphin.

BO says:

Very funny!!
Post more of that kind of chats!

www. says:

half the gals in bkkchat are actually guys, u should try going in as thaigirl15, u will be amazed at the amount of perverts there are.

damm says:

this is a real fucking joke..damm.who the fuck post that.;;;fuck ..
this story is so fucking ridiculous ...i almost have pity..
do something 555...but anyway i had laught .......;

Long Lost Son says:

Wow,

Sorry but this is not clever fakery. The responses of the Thai portion of this were too consistent with one another and therefore not believable.

The whole thing was kind of moronic but it did pick up at the end with the wooden leg bit.

Schizophrenic says:

Absolutely fan-fuggin-tastic...
by the way,
"Why are pirates so cool?"....
"I dont know,they just ARRRRRRRR!"

OzMan_Bkk says:

BangkokChat can be whatever you make it. Funny, serious, stupid, perverted.

I enjoyed the original post on this thread as it is fake but some real conversations do lean that way at times. A good chuckle. As for JR and the various replies. What a load of crap. Get a life and a sense of humour you losers !

kearns says:

bahahahahahaha !!! now that was absolutely hilarious! haha

Mr. T says:

I laughed 'till I cried.

Anonymous says:

This is almost as good as the "i put on my robe and wizard hat" guy

Zebedee says:

And after reading this page of codswallup I have now learned there are morons or juveniles in chat rooms. Wow. Now I'm going to sit under a tree and meditate on the link between the page title and page contents.

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