My upstairs downstairs Thai vixen

wilbur says:

A friend of mine is fond of saying, "Never fuck the maid, or else the maid will want a maid."

kevin says:

[Comment removed at Kevin's request - David]

mr peter says:

[Comment removed at Kevin's request - David]

gwailo says:

*Everybody* ought to have a maid!
http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/afunnythinghappenedonthewaytotheforum/ everybodyoughttohaveamaid.htm

FreedomFighter says:

Huh? Try this: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/neilyoung/amanneedsamaid.html

ziggy says:

$40 for 12 hours? Jeez. I'm in HCMC and my maid is $50 a month and lives at the house full-time cleaning, cooking, errands, whatever. How can anyone live in Bangkok? ;-)

Tip: always hire an old lady for your maid, never young country girls. Old ladies know how to cook, clean, and they never quit, exactly the opposite of young girls.

Oh, the maid just called me for lunch, have to go...

Jules says:

A wife would be well advised to insist on ugly old maids ONLY. Failing that just old maids.

I have a number of mates who have ended up shagging the maid and either moved out to live with her instead of the wife or had children by her.

I have NEVER done this. (My maid is old and wrinkled)

Tasty says:

Interesting that Kevin requested the removal of both his and Mr Peter's postings. Kevin made an (extremely boring) point and Mr Peter responded in a witty and fairly inoffensive (by Mr P's usual standards) manner.

What exactly is Kevin's problem? I'm trying to be careful here as he's such a sensitive soul but I'll bet that big old girl of his has got something to do with his feebleness. Anyway, hopefully they'll focus on their whatisthepoint website and leave Mango Sauce alone

mr peter says:

it's http://www.whatistheshape.com tasty. Poor ol kev has been having a hard time of it holed up with some sort of nasty foreign bug, no not the GF, sounds like the flu. I got a bit excited reading the latest post as kev mentions being tied to the bed, no such luck though, just a figure of speach. Wonder if he still lies in bed when the the overpaid maid pops round to dust the place. It's something I would I would try-peter

Anonymous says:

Thanks for that Mr P. What a horrendously pointless site - like watching a car crash as I can't tear myself away from it.

You mentioned in an earlier posting that you'd seen the GF's back. If you go into the gallery and go into the bit about random photos in Thailand you'll see her in all her open robed glory. The most frightening bit is a posting under June 13 where she goes on about her obsession with lego. Are there really people like this?

Anyway, apologies for boring other contributors - K & I aren't worthy of such attention.

mr peter says:

Thanks for that I missed it, yep that must be her then and that would be our kev in image 4 at the suda restaurant, don't think I know it but it looks OK. I wonder what they do with the lego?-peter

Gurst says:

Ziggy, where is HCMC?

Gurst says:

Guys, is there nude housecleaning service available in BKK? It's quite popular here in the San Francisco area, but the going rate translates to 6000 Baht/hr. That's nearly 4 months of 3 x per week service. A regaulr maid (most likely Mexican) can be had for 600 baht/hr. That's as cheap as they come here.

stu_$ says:

ive trawled that whatis blog whilst waiting for david
frankly im still clueless as to its point
i fear its attempting seinfeld esque humour
the show about nothing *groan*

and what is the deal with our kevin deletin posts ?
i'm sure we can all get over it and be friends
then we could get invited round for one of his famous parties ...
which is an exclusive event it would appear
so exclusive to be almost totally devoid of friends !
nevermind, i did enjoy his links page
i found some free games ,
i'm hoping they will keep me busy inbetween david's updates so i wont stray onto that other site

mr peter says:

No chance of Kev having a party as he seems to be suffering still, and our massies had it as well, the flu that is or whatever. Poor old Isabel writes she feels like slashing her wrists. It's a laugh a minute in sukhumvit ex pat land. Can't wait for the next installment, beats eastenders-peter

Anonymous says:

"mr peter"... are you sure you arn't actually "kevin"? you sure give his website a lot of publicity! in fact the way you manage to squeeze the site into any old thread like you have vested interest in it suggests to me that this is all some exercise in reverse psychology!

mr peter says:

I am Kevin-----

tonychang says:

in that case mr peter you must have writen this:

"Last night I dreamt that Jadzia Dax was teaching me how to play Final Fantasy Tactics Advance."

pure genius (it is a joke right?)!

mr peter says:

I no longer want to be kevin after I looked at the pic of him and isabel on the BTS, it's http://www.whatistheshape.com/ in the gallery section, I can no longer look as they blocked my ISP, spoilsports. The photo section is quite interesting as they give a help to any would be burglar by ponting out their condo. To be fair some of these blog things are interesting but not many, most are self indulgent immature ramblings by middle class expats. I look foward to seeing a few naughty types with some absolute filth on them-peter

Sad Git says:

If you are really, really, really sad and want to see what Kevin and Isabelle look like then there is a photo in their web site of themselves on the BTS.

then again you have to be really, really, really sad to know that.

Yours,

Saddoo

stu_$ says:

hey mr peter
have no fear , all you need is...
http://proxify.com/
and you can keep up with all of their
colourful and sexy adventures...
or lack thereof
chok dee

mr peter says:

I gave it a go and can now see pic of Isabel wrapped up in what looks like an old blanket at the movies as well as reading about her in the archives complaining that all the clothes in the shops are all to small and that she feels like a whale. As Bernard Trink used to say any comment would be superfluous. Sadly they have no pics of the overpaid maid, although how such staunch socialists such as themselves can oppress the proletatiat by employing them as servants is a bit of a puzzle.-Still looking for some filthy blogs full of sex and degredation, can anyone help?-peter

Marmite says:

"Ziggy, where is HCMC?"

Its near Saigon, I believe.

Jintara says:

"Still looking for some filthy blogs full of sex and degredation, can anyone help?-peter"

Have you tried castration? Drastic, I know, but I fear you are beyond medical help.

mr peter says:

Well who can this new wit be I wonder? surely not NJW as he said he was gone forever on may 28th so it must either be son of NJW or our Kev has recovered. Either way our internet addict is too embarassed to use his original name, and of course no email. At least these places give those who might otherwise be sending their neighbours anonymous letters, or hanging around school playgrounds, a harmless place in which to relieve themselves of a little frustration.
Still not found any filthee blogs, one on dirty minded maids would be very welcome, our kev could start one maybe, not NJW though he's so saintly I doubt if he's ever had am impure thought in his life. Come on where are all the naughty maid stories, anyone ever shagged theirs?, how about hotel maids?-peter

Madam Edith says:

When I lived in Hong Kong, screwing the Filipina maid appeared to be a regular expat past time. (They were also available at the discos and around town on their days off). I know a number of guys who finished up married to their maid either voluntarily or in some cases because they felt they had no choice (sharp nails can cut through a condom with great ease). Most of these marriages seem to have stood the test of time.
In LOS it is a toss up between having an old or a young maid. An older one may well be trained but trained by somebody else and it is virtually impossible to change their ways whilst a young one often has not got a clue how to iron, cook or even clean. I have employed both young and old maids but it is the older ones who have made it clear that they did not mind putting down the duster for a few minutes to inspect the cleanliness of the bedsheets.
When I was shopping in Villa on Sukhumvit Soi 33 a few years back, an exicited maid ran up to a mutton done up as lamb expat women pushing a trolley and said 'madam, madam would the master like this ?' What sort of jumped-up twat gets the maid to call him 'the master' ?

Jintara says:

"What sort of jumped-up twat gets the maid to call him 'the master' ?"

The same sort of jumped-up twat that calls himself "Mr." and can't take a joke.

mr peter says:

Oh dear looks like the child molester's back pretending to be a woman as well, whatever next. -peter

Jintara says:

No, definitely no sense of humour. One can only wonder what the poor boy is so afraid of. Maybe that one day the real internet police will take a look at his hard drive.

mr peter says:

Oh deary me is that the best you can do NJW whose diseased cock did you dribble out of? Anyway, not wanting to bring myself down to your level in the gutter any longer than I have to I will be ignoring your infantile provocations and at least try to stick to the thread subject, bye bye lickle boy.-peter

Jintara says:

Who NJW? Ah yes, I see his posts before. You so sad you think only one person not like you? One little joke make you think I am this same person?

Who was it that said "Fuck you if you can't take a joke!"?

Regular, but on this occassion anon. says:

Jintara, or whoever, no point in argueing with Mr. Peter. He's an arsehole who nobody likes. Ignore him.

mr peter says:

Nothing about shagging them I'm afraid but thailandguru.com does give some interesting numbers and advice, and they can find them for you:

Parttime maids typically go for between 300 baht per half day and 500 baht per full day for basic chores such as ironing shirts and cleaning the house. We normally set up a regular schedule from the outset. Skilled cooks for help in hosting dinners cost considerably more than this, and should be scheduled well in advance.

For fulltime, live-in maids, our least skilled maids start at 3000 baht/month, and are trained in the basics of taking care of a foreigner's home. The most highly skilled maids are negotiable and should be scheduled well in advance. Typical rates for live-in maids of higher skill are in the 5000 to 8000 baht per month range

It would seem that anyone paying 200 baht an hour for a non live in part timer is being taken to the cleaners so to speak, even allowing for falangs normally paying extra. Thai guru says if you live alone and the girl is live in it might make her feel more comfortable and more likely to stay if you had two maids with the senior one picking the other one, you lucky lucky bastards!-peter

John U says:

Well Reg, whoever you are,

I like him OK.

Fucking bus shelter :<)).

Anybody that reads Viz can't be bad.

Mr. Peter Fucher says:

Jintara, go on and post as you were. I like your little notes. Ignore Mr. P, everyone knows he is a twat.

Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus says:

Fucher, Anonymous, and the rest of the wanker club:

Mr Peter's posts are interesting, always have some news included, sometimes funny, sometimes offensive.

I nearly always appreciate his posts, so please don't bother telling the world that we should not. What a ridiculous act anyway.

Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus

Ubangi me, Ibangi U says:

[Comment removed at the request of some self-centered idiot who can't stand the thought of people exchanging ideas that arent his - David]

[I didn't remove a comment here but Ubangi me, Ibangi U has a point. I don't owe Kevin any favours and in removing his comment and Mr Peter's reply I was perhaps being a little too kind to him - David]

Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus says:

Is it getting difficult now??

Great, I take the chance to express that Greg, Wankhead and [notwhite]cunt are full of shit.

Thanks to all the others for their interesting posts! TK, please try to resume your posts, ;-)))

TANAI KWAI says:

LDA,

Thanks for your request -- I was informed my feckless scribblings would be long forgotten by now.

I am up day and night trying to honor a book deadline but I hope to contribute again soon.(!)

Best,
TK

John U says:

That TK,

He's such an important guy isn't he?

Lawyer, author, deadlines to meet. Psychologist.

All he was waiting for was some idiot to invite him back.

Oh fuck me!!!!! Here comes LDA. Who the fuck is he?????

TK in disguise????

There's a lot of that crap going on so why not?

OK TK fucking play with yourself.

Why not? There's plenty of other arseholes doing exactly the same thing

Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus says:

John,

Up and right, sometimes I also like your posts... Why calling me an idiot if I think that TK has interesting things to say? Does it make you as worthless as TK if I read both of your posts? Or am I only real if I disregard TK and check nothing but your great messages to the world.

Well, you chose it. Fuck you, John Right-Up-the-ass, insulting people expects a return. I am not TK, and you just joined the group of full of shits! Greg, Wankhead, John U! Do girls actually throw up when meeting you? That's a bad sign, asshole.

Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus (formerly known as Mike)

Please let me know what bitches you fuck, I'll avoid the area!

Dana says:

I'll be pleased in the future to see how the site administrator can defend this nonsense in court. Every little fire becomes a big fire. Contributions aren't possible anymore with this forum but the coming train wreck will be amusing.

John U says:

Dana,

You're too optimistic.

It'll just fizzle out.

LDA, I can't help it :<)).

I like some of TK's posts also, but not the long ones full of "knowledge". I'll bet you can't remember what the fuck he was talking about.

You remember the name, but little else.

Just for fun try to tell us the posts that you do remember. I'll bet they were the amusing ones.

Chopper Harris says:

I've just read this thread. There are too many fevered egos jostling for position here. I suggest we all meet up by the lake in Lumpini park at 4 pm on Wed 14th July for a free for all. Anyone of you fuckers who don't turn up - leave the group. I'm tired of you pussies and I want to fucking maim you all. RSVP by Tue 13th 2.30pm. Let's finally sort this out. John U; Tania Kwai - be there - you slobering pair of cunts.

Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus says:

Dana,

I think David gets headaches just because of this.

But why don't you try to play judge and let me know if I deserve being called an asshole just because I read TK's posts??

Sure enough I'd prefer to read interesting and/or funny messages rather than some of those crap-posts, but then I find myself answering them...

Maybe I should just read David's stories and ignore all the comments.

Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus says:

Chopper,

Do I have to bring Condoms?

Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus says:

I hate to post 3 in a row, but...

"park at 4 pm Wed 14th July for a free for all. Anyone of you fuckers who don't turn up"

Mate, some of us do actually work. I won't be able to shag you prior to 8 pm. And in fact, as I'm not that gay, I'm not interested to shag you at all.

Mr Peter Fucher says:

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Mate, some of us do actually work. I won't be able to shag you prior to 8 pm.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

As your emperor said - The matter is entirely in your own hands, Ridiculucius.

Do you wash your hands before or after? As for condoms, you probably need finger cots.

Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus says:

I don't know why you need a reference to Mr Peter's name, and I'm really sorry not to be able to join your gay party. I wash hands only before. I am very glad to hear that you think I'm small sized and that you prefer big cocks. I wish you many of them in your mouth and ass,

Fucher ????

norman hunter says:

Well what do you expect for 1600 baht a month? I pay my Siamese strumpet 2500 & for that I get the full monty. She is always available to service any early morning riser, makes sure I never venture into the office with a loaded gun & doesn't mind me using her as a plate for my full English breakfast.

Dana says:

Actually, to back up a few posts--one of the things that I find perplexing is how few responders there are to this site. I think the site is really very good and very entertaining and obviously Thai knowledgable. And the chat site does not require that people register or go through onerous filtering. You (or at least I) would think that the chat site would attract a much much larger population of responders. I have two theories: one theory is that people in general just don't find the idea of chat sites that engaging; and the other theory is that the highly charged current responders scare a lot of less aggressive players away. Anyway, I think it is a shame that there is not a greater mix.

TANAI KWAI says:

John U. writes,

"That TK,

He's such an important guy isn't he?

Lawyer, author, deadlines to meet. Psychologist."

John, I believe you feel diminished by what you perceive to be the grand achievements of others. You'll deny it, of course, but you seem to have a hefty chip on your shoulder. Really, there are many lawyers and even more authors. Big deal. And many of us labor under deadlines. So what? Why should this elicit such viciousness in you?

Might any of your enthusiasm for attacking me relate to dissatisfaction with your own station in life? Or is it the case that you have reached the age when you must accept that certain of your dreams shall never be fulfilled, and this embitters you? Perhaps you've experienced some bad luck that continues to hamper and haunt you to this day?

If you say these are baseless suggestions I'll have to take your word for it. I would be happy to hear that you look back upon your life without regrets and with the knowledge that you have achieved what you set out to accomplish.

It's a separate issue but you may wonder why I have generally been so restrained in firing back at you. It's because I know that under the bluster of your Mango "voice" you are a sensitive, even delicate person. How can I say such a thing of the callous, hard-bitten John U? Well, you might want to revisit your earlier posts, and witness how I defended you when the local hyenas sensed how precious you were. Their taunts drove you to defend the quality and content of your contributions to this site with a sort of hysterical fervor. And do you recall the psychiatrist who analyzed you so mercilessly? Of course you do. That sent you into a deep depression and even forced you to leave us for a couple of weeks to lick your wounds. Or don't you remember that recent little sabbatical?

So consider saving your venom for somebody who really dislikes you. Or not. Whatever -- knock yourself out.

Dana writes,

"I have two theories: one theory is that people in general just don't find the idea of chat sites that engaging; and the other theory is that the highly charged current responders scare a lot of less aggressive players away."

I basically agree with your two theories. There is also a subset of participants who show up full of piss and vinegar -- THAIMAN, C. Sandesist, Kev & Izzy -- only to skulk off, unable to take what they dish out.

(By the way, you might want to answer Waxhead's post about "real sex" elsewhere -- I think he raises some fair points.)

(...)

John U says:

TK,

I think "vicious" is a bit strong, but I accept that I was a little "over the top".

I'll try to explain as briefly as I can.

I acknowledge that you leapt to my defence, but strangely I feel very uncomfotable when people try to defend me. No doubt the psychologists will come up with a theory.

Secondly, it annoys me a little when I have to wade through a lengthy article looking for something of value, especially when the point could be made a lot more succinctly.

Thirdly, although it may well be true, I find it strange when a contributor makes the point that they are uniquely qualified in some way to make a comment. It seems to me that the intention is to say " I am far more qualified to make this comment than you, so don't add any more of your amateurish rubbish".

So occasionally I found myself irritated with you, and wanting to get a rise out of you.

However, I must confess that when I have made those unkind comments, to my shame, they have been alohol induced. My apologies for that.

I confess that I later cringe at some of the things Ive said. But unfortunately, the internet allows that sort of thing.

I would never,in the real world, say some of those things to your face. I couldn't be so rude.

Finally, as I said to you before, carry on as you were. I may get a bit annoyed but so what? It takes all kinds.

John U says:

Dana,

I think you may well be right about the aggressive and insulting comments preventing some people from contributing.

A while back I made what I hoped was an amusing anecdote about Miss Noo's Short Time Hotel Guide. In it I made mention of chlamydia and it's treatment.

Unfortunately I got the dosage wrong, and a pharmacist friend of mine, affectionately known as Penicillin Pete, corrected me. So I made a further comment in correction, and Pete said he would contribute.

Later, however, he did mention the nastiness going on - the schizo was in full flow at the time - and he never did contribute.

So there you go.

Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus says:

John U,

Stop consuming whatever you consume ;-))

TANAI KWAI says:

John U.,

Fair enough.

Best,
TK

Greg says:

I have contributed here less lately due to the signal to noise ratio. Those that I consider signal are considered noise by those that I consider noise.

Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus says:

Ok Greg,

Wasn't it you who posted that a difference of 20 in IQ wouldn't make it possible to communicate? Then please stop posting, most of us have more than 80.

Greg says:

Ya, Mike. I think it was you who I said that I didn't like a previous post, wasn't it? And you who keeps bashing the name Greg? If you want to discuss any actuall issues, I'm game. If you want to keep saying the name Greg over and over, rallying all your invisible mates onto "your" side, well, do that then.

Greg says:

And Mike, I will bet 5000 thousand baht that your IQ is less than 120.

And I will bet 10,000 baht that mine is 30 points above yours. Jing jing.

TANAI KWAI says:

I'd like in on this action, please.

(...)

Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus says:

Greg,

I take your bet. Just to cream it, I normally score 147, that's gonna be fun. Where and when?

Greg says:

I normally score between 136 and 156, depending on the test. 147, really? Ok, I withdraw my drunken offer.

Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus says:

Where are you going to wire the 10,000?

John U says:

BTW, TK,

Welcome back. I have to grit my teeth when I say it ;<), but I did miss you, and clearly others did also.

So sometimes I do spout "boysheeat" as my favourite paid for gf used to put it.

Good advice LDA - I wish.

Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus says:

Thanks John

If he could keep them shorter, the world would be perfect ;-))

Are you going to join the intelligence contest between Greg and me?

I'll pay all the beers with the 10,000 I gain

IQ of a maximum break. says:

"I normally score between 136 and 156, depending on the test. 147, really? Ok, I withdraw my drunken offer.

Posted by Greg | July 12, 2004 10:01 PM"

Careful, Greg. I see that avian flu might be making a comeback, and we all know what that does to chickens!

sunglasses ron says:

147! 180! HATRICK! eh?

what a bunch of fKn pain in teh arses

shut yer pie holes

BIg Cyrille used to always say "They can talk the talk but can they wank teh plank" - ah Cyrille, magnifient sihgt dripping in the dressing room. and what a lovely sandwich he made, course that poor little leicestre midfielder never played again.

happy days

Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus says:

Suncrap Ron ya mate ain't na good in english, ya tipin net easy ter read. Anyway, I don't give a fucking shit to any IQ tests, because I believe those tests are worthless, but sure enough, if one test allows all of us to drink beer, I'll sure be there ;-))

Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus says:

Hey Greg,

Are we sober today?

Go and fuck yourself, I officially invite you to compete, you stupid american wanker think that you do 30 more than me!!! Prove it, asshole!!! What a shame when you will do 60 less, craphead.

My full name is Mike Riemer.

sunglasses ron says:

kids kids kids

none of teh grown ups want to hear your petty squabbles.."i'm teh best, no I'm the best" blah blah blah... couple of cunts

as remi moses used to say.... "i 'ate them clever cants me" of course he would wouldn't he, daft big-haired spook. mind he did a lovely nutmeg.... and what a risotto he could knock up, i rememebr him singing My Way on eth way back from the boro once (back when Big Jack had 'em), brought a tear to my eye.... but that was just cos he had hold of bir spinksies one eyed spitter mindyou!

Greg says:

Hi Mike.

If you are a smart person, I just couldn't see it from your posts. You are so rude and brash, I lumped you in with the likes of posters who have nothing but insults to offer.

My mistake.

Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus says:

Greg,

I'll try to be more polite in the future ;-))

Ubangi me, Ibangi U says:

Holy shit. "My daddy is smarter than your daddy." Yo, Einstein and Copernicus, take a step back and look at the last bits of this thread. What a fucking embarassment.

Of course, we're all so brilliant that angels are reading this blog and learning in leaps and fucking bounds. How 'bout we stop bickering so everybody can learn from our exaulted font of wisdom. Or at least not laugh until they piss all over the girl blowing them under their desks.

Sorry, trying to be kindler and gentler. Gotta go find that damn meds bottle. Fucking Thai vixen musta got it again!

SIMON says:

There is always a debate about the pros and cons of having a young or old maid. Anyway, my maid is in her early 50's and tells me that she has seen everything in her day.

As a Muslim I know that she disapproves of most of the young ladies that I bring home from time to time.On the other hand the lassies are quite afraid of her and therefore on her best behavior when the maid is working...which is every morning after 0930 hrs.

Of course, the maid in a wonderful resource in more ways than one. When the maid reported that one of my guests had been going through my draws looking for money and saying rude things about me on the telephone while I was out, I took the young lassie in question upstairs to give her a good hiding with the hair brush. Afterwards I don't beleive that I have ever seen the maid smile so widely. I then gave the maid a large Christmas bonus and I commissioned her to report any inappriopriate behavior on the part of the young ladies that I entertain.

Dana says:

My IQ consistantly tests between 87 and 92 (I am retested every 6 months to track diet theories). But I have done so much with so little that I win on points. Please wire the money to my internet address.

Mike says:

Wow, I feel, huh, warm, reading this 2 years later...

c. sundseth says:

David:

No doubt $40/mo for a few hours a week is a bargain compared to UK wages, but in the Philippines you can have a domestic 30 days a month, 8+ hrs. a day (if you are such a slave driver) for about $24 plus her meals...

And they speak English in the Philippines, which may be a bane or a blessing, depending on your outlook on such things.

They won't just scrape your soddies off the walls, but will launder them, cook for you, tidy up till it makes you crazy, and so on....