Thailand: A great place to be ill

Donovan says:

Here here, it's not a good idea to spend your life moping around after a relative dies, it isn't what they'd want. Now everybody wait for Mr. Peter to say something stupid.

-Donovan

Blackcunt says:

My thai father in law passed on while I was visiting family back home.When I got the news they were at the village for the funeral. I told my parents when I met up with them the next day and beind very fond of her wanted to send their condolences by calling her , luckily I dialled the number my self and the volume the music in the bar was really deafning and believe me it was not the new debut of the monk chanting .so I told my folks that the line did nt go through. When I re entered the kingdom, she said she was with her sister that came back from Oz at her favourite hang out in bangers.Good thing I never met the man in person while he was alive.I could have mourned his going better

Prorogue says:

I'm a wretched human being. Bring on the crisp white uniforms and administer a suppository.

Save me Jesus.

Dana says:

Different strokes for different folks. Different ways of doing and thinking and responding to life issues in the third world countries. And of course, I am not allowed to make any judgements of my own about other peoples behavior. Their behavior, no matter how extreme, always trumps my right to react and judge. In the Caribbean when something horrible (hit by a car, fall off a roof, drown, etc) happens to someone people laugh. They laugh individually and in groups and they laugh right away and heartily at the other's misfortune. Is it really funny to see someone hit and killed by a car? Hey, don't ask me. I'm not allowed to judge.

TANAI KWAI says:

Maybe it's not that you judge but your judgments?*

(?)

*The Ik are a fascinating tribe from northern Uganda. Anthroplogist C.M. Turnbull wrote a controversial book in which he chronicled that the Ik laugh in the face of tragedy (even their own), teach their children to steal food from the old (or the younger), and defecate on one another's doorsteps.

tracey emmin says:

I know a family in Dundee just like them.

Royal Troon says:

I understand that Dana defecates on other peoples doorsteps.

Dana says:

Margaret Mead, a well known American anthropologist, left when young and ignorant and idealistic to go do field work amoungst primitive societies in the Pacific. She came in contact with people pracitising infanticide and every other 'cide' as well as an unimaginable laundry list of abusive behavior to members of their own species and of their own families. When she returned to the world of Academia she told the truth about what she had seen and she made judgements. It hurt her career to tell the truth and to respond to species abuse as a fellow member of the species. Apparently, we are supposed to throw the net of 'culture' over everything without question. I quess if you could gather all the serial killers together you couldn't criticize their behavior because they are pracitising group behavior and they have a 'culture'. This is nonsense. One thing that travel should teach you is that everyone is NOT the same and that every behavior can't be excused by pinning the cultural label on it. If a Thai invites me to dinner, and then at the end of dinner stands up on the end of his couch and urinates on me and proclaims this his 'culture'--this is not an idea that has legs. This is bullshit.

Errant says:

No, that's piss.

Royal Troon says:

What it really means is that Dana will be eagerly anticipating another dinner invitation.

Chris says:

What the hell is Dana talking about?

Anyway, I haven't experienced the hospital situation, but I would not be surprised if it was exactly as David described. But, I have marvelled at the atmosphere of a Thai funeral. Cell phones are ringing, everyone is chatting and smiling and eating. They are even taking pictures! A friend recently showed me his pictures from his grandmother's funeral. No one looks sad to me.

I think it's kinda nice, in a way. There really is no need to tear yourself up about such a routine part of life.

Hkdonthaigirl says:

David,
My Thai wife passed away 3 1/2 months ago and I found the grieving process to be much more intense compared to the West. The grieving takes place before the cremation and lasts from 3-7 days. We kept my wifes body in our house for 5 days to give time for out of town family and friends to come and pay their respects. Monks came everyday morning and night and all of the family and close friends cooked for the 100's of guests that came each night.
Your account of hospital stays is correct and I stayed with my wife during the many hospital stays 24 hours a day, whether she was awake or not. I believe that it gave her great comfort to know that I was with her every time she opened her eyes.
I hope that if I am sick and in the hospital that it will not be in the West where my loved ones will only be able to "visit" with me for a couple hours a day.
Regard's,
Hooked on Thai Girl

Anda says:

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Dana = And of course, I am not allowed to make any judgements of my own about other peoples behavior.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Is that really you Dana? Different strokes for different pokes, eh!

BigDUSA says:

She wasn't complaining at the time but, subsequently, her damp hair sparked a major health crisis. She reported muscle aches, sore eyes, exhaustion and a litany of other symptoms. The outward sign of her condition was a slight sniffle.

Thai women seem to have the emotional maturity of a 14 y/o.

kelake says:

Hahaha. This site cracks me up like no other.

palimpsest says:

Thai funeral ceremony is in actual fact not radically different; What Thais do when somebody dies differ in North to that of Central and Southern Thailand.

These guys In Northern Thailand they always take the body home and keep it there from 3 to 7 days. Whereas in Central the practice is that people rent a room in a temple and all the ceremony is carried out there. This is the main difference. In the temple people come to pay their respects and listen to the endless chanting and prayer the monks conduct and there is no restriction on when to come and when to go, only that most people show up between 6pm and 8pm.

Northen Thais on the other hand bring the body home and all the ceremony is conducted there. Just how ostentatious or austere a funeral ceremony is depends on how much money the family has, but neighbours, relatives and friends give money in an envelop ranging from 20 Baht to 5000Baht and most people help out with the house work, the cooking and shopping.

The whole thing about a funeral is this: The immediate family members have their grieving period for the first day or two but this is not in any way a formalised process. There is no collective chest beating or such like. To the contrary, people try to come up with activities that will make others feel better - everyone knows that it is a sad period and they dont make a capital of it, they just try to make it better. Hence the comments above about people answering their mobiles, taking photos and smiling. But dont let appearances fool you. You can somewhat compare a Thai funeral ceremony to an Irish wake but peppered with endless ritual of prayer and cleansing ceremonies. Where it is similar is in the merry making. People in Northen Thailand buy beer and whisky, play card games, bring movies to watch and even in the early evenings when the monks are doing their prayer in front of the body all the oldish stern looking people sit and listen in the front whereas at the back there is constant eating, drinking, chatter and whatnot.

The central Thai practice of keeping bodies in the temple until cremated means that no alcohol or gambeling is allowed in the temple and any extra curricular activity (like playing cards) is restricted to very close friends or family members who are sat in the same room after they see everyone off in the evenings. So the atmosphere is somewhat more muted and formal. In Bangkok it is is not unheard of, like mentioned here, for young people to go out and go to the bars etc.

But David, you say that:

"Last month, a friend's Thai ex-girlfriend bought her hillbilly brother a motorbike. This week, her reckless act of generosity led predictably to his death ("He have big accident"). After the remation, she took her mates to CM2 for a night of drinking and dancing. Reportedly, they had a great time."

That could possibly be but have you considered that her mates took her out instead to make her feel better rather than the other way around.

You also say:

"In the West, the grieving process tends to be more intense - particularly if the deceased passed away too young. It seems that the Thais focus their compassion on the living and we farangs reserve ours for the dead."

Well, such a comparison could be erroneous because Thais grieve just as well and do it somewhat privately (that is to say not very publicly). What is very public is the endless rituals during a funeral (like the deceased son shavng his head and becoming a novice for a day to help out the monks or the sheer number of monks that a rich household gathers for the daily prayers or the amount of cooking and eating that goes on during the whole thing).

As for hospitals all the congregation of family members who constantly throng hospitals to see their loved ones is just that- Its something they do; It does not mean that they care more about the living than the dead.

jonny says:

What about this kidnapped American. This Johnson guy? Work in the media here and got most of the dirt. His wife "Tanom" is Thai and hanging out in Saudi as she awaits his possible execution. Would be a big payoff for her.

Of course, 'natch, Miss Tanom used to work in a bar in Soi Cowboy.

mr peter says:

Anyone just see the prog on channel 4 about the bloke from Brighton who wanted a sex change? The NHS pointed out that people with dodgy tickers were higher up the waiting list. So out hero was shown in bangers with a Dr Suporn having his dick cut off and adams apple shaved for 6000 quid up front. The hospital looked like Yanhee but then bits looked like Bumrungrad as well.
On thurday there is a film on about the Bangkok Hilton, should be good for a laugh I think.-peter