August 4 2004
Mango Sauce 2: Monsters Unleashed (2004)

Clair: Hi-ya, Ali. Oooooo... lovely blouse.
Alison: Mmmm, it's Prada. Your hair looks fantastic.
Clair: I've just had it done.
Together: Lovely!
Bob: You look like shit.
Alan: Shut your pie 'ole, baldy.
Bob: Someone needs to take you in hand.
Alan: Tell that to your boyfriend.
Women rarely participate in internet forums like Mango Sauce. In the real world, they live in a bubble that shelters them from good-natured argument so they often feel intimidated by a robust exchange of views. Brainy Isobel II, however, is the exception that disproves the rule. She uses her academic prowess to take on the scariest monsters lurking in the Mango Sauce basement - just like Velma off Scooby Doo.
The eerie spectacle of a chain-rattling Mr Peter clomping about in a deep-sea diving suit has failed to scare her away and she's now become a regular and valued contributor. She's a bit pissed off about some of my articles, though.
I've found a lot of the articles useful because it mirrors some of my own observations. Some of the comments and slant of the articles about farang women piss me off but this is how you see/represent it.
We all know that there are loads of attractive and likeable farang girls out there but to repeat this in every posting would be stating the obvious. My rants are not directed at them. It's the loutish element that I object to.
As an academic, Isabel II will appreciate that international comparisons can be very instructive. A western man's involvement with Thai women can radically alter his perception of farang women. It's impossible not to make comparisons - and most of them aren't very flattering - but, with a little effort on the part of the underperforming segment of the farang girl community, these faults can be fixed.
Huge arses can be tamed by diet, rudeness can be set aside in favour of politeness and the corrosive effects of nagging can be eliminated by exercising a little restraint. It's all very simple really - but the message never seems to get though. Many farang women will admit to carrying a few extra pounds but I've never heard a single one confess to having a bad attitude. They seem to be in a state of denial
Brain-box Isabel II reckons that men reject farang women on the grounds of them being too intelligent.
I am almost certain that intelligence in women is not a highly valued trait here [In Thailand]. And this is not only with farang men but ALL men here. Am I wrong to think this?
Isabel II is wrong. She fails to make the distinction between a woman who is intelligent and a woman who is opinionated. Personally, I can think of no reason to criticise a woman for being intelligent. If a girl is cute and personable, then intelligence is the icing on the cake. Overbearing girls, however, are a royal pain-in-the-ass - and the ones who lack intelligence are by far the worst.
Interestingly, Isabel II also says this.
I have a brain and a nice ass.
Velma's brain in Daphne's body. Mmmmm... nice. This conjures up a rather pleasing image in my mind but I hope it doesn't encourage Isabel II to go sleuthing around Mango Sauce with her engaging canine companion to dig up unflattering quotes about farang women that make me look peevish and cruel.
Oh bugger - she's unmasked me and now the cops have turned up.
[David is led away in handcuffs with the laughter of "the gang" ringing in his ears]
Bah! If it wasn't for those meddling kids, I'd have got away with it!
[Posted to Farang Life by David]
Readers' comments
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