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March 18 2007

Bonking Belgians may eye up Bjorn Borg's briefs

greg

Phuket waitress, Arm, was videoed by her French boyfriend, Greg Garcia, lying to a Belgian punter who had called to check up on her.

Greg now wishes to point out that the sucker on the other end of the line was not, as I reported, her restaurant-owning Belgian sugar daddy but a different and entirely unrelated bonking Belgian.

In my defence, I have to point out that it was an easy mistake to make. The very existence of Belgium has yet to filter into the collective Thai consciousness so who could have guessed that Arm was actually having it off with two of them? As Oscar Wilde might have said, to shag one Belgian may be regarded as a misfortune, to shag two looks like carelessness - but at least she'll never run out of exquisite handmade chocolates.

I owe you an apology, Greg. Your girlfriend is a bigger tart than I gave her credit for.

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Another update concerns the unconscious reveller who nearly died in Patpong's Madrid Bar.

I'm told that the manageress was unhappy with the tone of my story and remains oblivious to the fact that, by Mango Sauce standards, it was a rave review. Unlike Greg Garcia, she won't be getting a published apology but I'm delighted to pass on the good news that our Sleeping Beauty awoke the next morning and flew to Phuket.

Finally, you may recall that, back in October, I said this about Hua Hin.

It isn't really suitable for families - unless everyone in your family likes shagging hookers.

Having recently taken my elderly parents to Thailand's oldest and grandest beach resort, I can now report that, during the high season, Hua Hin is a suitable destination for families - and impressionable seniors.

The sheer number of ordinary holidaymakers dilutes the sleaze to the point where you hardly notice it at all. In fact, I've never in my whole life seen so many respectable, middle-aged fatties beached in one place.

If you've ever wondered what that "kewl" tattoo might look like when you're fat and fifty, Hua Hin is the ideal place to find out.

Our Hua Hin trip also resurrected unhappy memories of Bjorn Borg's ill-conceived venture into men's underwear. I stumbled across a veritable smorgasbord of Bjorn's unsold briefs gathering dust on a table at the rear of a small Swedish restaurant.

If his latest marketing strategy fails, the world's greatest tennis player might soon be reduced to flogging his unloved undies to tourists from the back of a squeaky handcart.

[Posted to Farang Life by David]

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Readers' comments

Dick says:

Ah those were the days.

Farang loo maak says:

Is this Gerard Depardieu lookalike who has outed this shameless hussy aware of how easy it can be to "off" someone in the Kingdom? Methinks he plays with fire. Bon chance!

dub says:

"Your girlfriend is a bigger tart than I gave her credit for." haha! They usually are mate. But giving her the benefit of the doubt was the right thing to do.

Kenn says:

LMAO......This Is Priceless
Greg Garcia Help Out Himseself And He Still Wants To Have A Smug Attitude About It All, I Wonder What The Belgian Guys Have Too Say About Him, And If They Think He Is As Cool As Greg Thinks He Is;

Greg Should Know, When You Lay With Dogs You Will Get Fleas

His Low Class Friends Are A Perfect Companion For Him

Telemachus says:

Good ol' Oscar also said...

“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”

It seems that Greggy agrees!

daznlover says:

Always risky to bring the family to SE Asia, it's a box of surprises. Glad you managed to keep them out of the red district... "Not safe" is always a good excuse. :)

dingdongrb says:

Does this mean that my Halle Berry tattoo is going to look like Oprah in a few years?

King Kong says:

Hope you bought a pair of Borg's as a Hua Hin souvenir for the old man, David!

Johnny says:

That's a lovely photo of her.

Mr Thaksin, BKKchat.org says:

trust me these Thai slappers don't half "get off" on it when riding your monster same time as telling their Farrang {and often in my own personal experince, Thai bf} how much they love em as you try to pump them gently.

Must admit always got me going also.

Thaxo.

Prufrock says:

She's not bad at all.
Bet she's got a purple pussy and I'll bet she does EVERYTHING :-)
She just can't say "No".
And a lot of them will freely admit that they can't say no :-)

soi dog says:

Hahahaha! Nice one Dave! That's the Killer Smiler that gonna get her rich...

Errant says:

Is this triple alliance a violation of Belgian neutrality? If yes, what is the nature of the violation? Answer and discuss.

You have 30 seconds, or until Arm experiences another violation of her own, to complete this section.

Mr Thaksin, BKKchat.org says:

its damn ugly by my standards.
its a bird we know, but its one of those types with a LB face.
Very off putting for a man of of taste.

Thaxo.

anonymous says:

(weeping).....but....it can't be.....she told me she loved ME 'kon diao' one million percent!!!

Nick Stafford says:

Is Greg Garcia a mma master? I think I saw him in the undercard of a cage fight. Danny Bonaduce kicked his ass.

ltx says:

I think he was the guy that prufrock watched beat the shit out of the church-goin', eight-foot tall, American, imperialist cowboy...

What should I name myself here? says:

Hmmm so the way I see it little Arm has one rich boyfriend that owns the restaurant she works in, another guy sending her money and has that young guy Greg for fun probably because shes gotten so tired of sucking the wrinkled old dicks of her sugardaddy's. She is probably ex-bg too. Just another average day in the land of smiles...

Greg Garcia says:

David, David, David,
I always need to give you corrections of your investigation, sacred rascal!
You said 'your girlfriend is a bigger tart than I gave her credit for' but you know too much she's not my girlfriend. Easy for you, scrutinizing my blog... Easy writing...
Fun, fun, fun sang the Beach Boys... Everytime I saw her fun, fun, fun... Even with the permission of exit of her Belgium boyfriend 2nd when i came back in Phuket in january... http://greggarcia.oldiblog.com/?page=photo&
id=1161459
http://greggarcia.oldiblog.com/?page=photo&
id=1171563
Everything was finished with Belgium boyfriend 1st one month after the video 'The Thai lies' in september... http://www.dailymotion.com/video/
xbbpw_the-thai-lies
In this story i don't think she's a tart like you said very politely... just a Thai girl player, one more... Before this video she stayed at home in Nakhon Ratchasima (Khorat) 3 months (no farang!) waiting the comeback of the boyfriend... The month after at the end with Belgium 1st she met 2nd... But didn't forget me... This is the true story, better than your investigation...
Few weeks ago one bitch (it's the name!) called Pon came with me and fucked great (free) http://greggarcia.oldiblog.com/?page=photo&
id=1278266
She wanted i set off again after 'drinking milk' (and i did because i wanted she enjoyed a 'second breakfast') when two men from abroad messaged her about 'love', 'what are you doing?', 'miss you', bla bla bla... One gave her 60000B for take care and the other one 80000B the day after for silicone breast... This is a big tart...
http://greggarcia.oldiblog.com/?page=photo&
id=1278268
But the bigger tarts you can find them in Walking Street/Pattaya or in Nana Plaza/Bangkok when the crowd of prostitutes mill for fucking every hour (maybe less) with old ugly rich farangs raising their cock with a tractor...
Waiting a new investigation of semi-Colombo
Greg Garcia
greggarcia.oldiblog.com

------------

Hi Greg

Thanks for the clarification. I look forward to reading more about your romantic adventures.

Regards
David

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