May 15 2004

Female torso sparks Thai Airways terror alert

Thai ex-girlfriend sparks terror alert

Those novelty cigarette lighters from Pantip Plaza are hilarious. One design features a bikini-clad Asian babe whose clothes fall off when you light up. Others repeat short phrases like "I love you, I love you, I love you" but the ones that blurt out rude expressions are much funnier - unless you work for Thai Airways.

My ex-girlfriend bought four different models for her new American in-laws but made the mistake of taking them back in her Thai Airways hand luggage. In Osaka, the security dorks confiscated two of them. They reckoned that the fake Zippo and the chrome female torso might bring the plane down in flames over the Pacific but that the bikini babe and the talker were perfectly safe.

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When she transferred to a domestic flight in Dallas, the officious security grunt pocketed the bikini babe for his own private use and then insisted that she demonstrate that her one remaining lighter actually worked. My ex was quite pissed off by this stage and a small crowd of onlookers had gathered. They were in for a treat, though, because when she flipped open the lighter it launched into a tirade of "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you."

She recounted the story to me with wonderful Thai understatement - "I not say anything - but he know it!"

[Posted to Diary by David]

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