MySpace date ends in trailer park pissing party

Telemachus says:

I fear for the Thai lass' (your ex's) personal security David, especially if she is the typical svelt Thai cutie we all know and love. The words "you shure do got a pertty mouth" are probably par for the course at this stage.

Does she know what she's gotten herself in for. Perhaps you should post her a copy of "Deliverance", "The Hills have Eyes" and "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" for educational purposes.

BJ says:

Don't forget to have her also see "Southern Comfort".

Charles Edward Frith says:

Brilliant!

Mac says:

Hmmm, sounds to me like you've been taken in by an 'urban legend' here. When I read it, I thought, "that sounds awfully familiar," and sure enough, found the following, which I received in an e-mail from my niece in November 2003.

WORST FIRST DATE

We have all had dates..but this takes the cake. This just tells you how hard it is to be single nowadays. This was on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

Marilyn said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing to Lake Arrowhead. It was a day trip (no overnight). No, not Marilyn. They were strangers, after all, and truly
had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain when she
gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere. Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she
did for a while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started to relieve herself. Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.

As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a
brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humour she answered her date's concerns about what was taking so long with a reply that indeed, she was freezing her butt off and needed some assistance.

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As for the Tonight Show... she took the prize hands down... or perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

This gives a whole new meaning to being "pissed off".

Grunt says:

Fitting timing, as my (foreign, of course) wife and I stopped by the local McD for some egg mcmuffin action this morn, and in waddle two early-20's American females.

4 grimy, dirty faced, slack jawed kids in tow, 2 per skank. Both sows looked jealously at my attractive young and THIN wife as the whole menagerie shuffled by.

As I sat stuffing my face, I came to the conclusion each of the 4 kids was almost certainly from a different father.

And they ask me why I went overseas to find a bride?!

The whole sordid situation makes me wanna piss in little miss dicers mouth, I tell ya. Wouldnt be the first time. Or the last, Im betting.

daznlover says:

Had a couple of awkward dates, but this beyond imagination. He actually pissed on her? Why didn't he take water from the engine cooler?! :)

Not buyen it says:

This is bullshit; it is a straight rip off of a segment of Oprah where she was asking people to tell their first date horror stories. My wife was watching it and I remember this well. Some woman (a slim brunet) told this story, but with a different set up. Shame on you David

-----------

Hi Not buyen it

Just repeating what I was told...

Either it's an amusing tall tale or a predicament that's more common than you might imagine.

Children are always getting themselves stuck to cold metal objects so the physics certainly stacks up.

I guess we'll have to call in Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman from Mythbusters to adjudicate.

Regards
David

Road Natzi says:

She probably wasn't stuck to the rear bumper, her anus was probably consuming the tow bar! (not that i have ever seen such a thing)RN

Mother Terrisa says:

Judging by the amount of fried shit peddled by the unsavory cunts on the street stands and gobbled by the locals, we will have to get used to a lot more ‘trailer park Janes’ or should I say ‘slum shak Noi’s’ here too.
Guess I ought to get into character as the alcoholic step father!
You didn’t mention anything about the step father slipping her a length when her mother was not around – are you sure she was true ‘trailer’?

Sam from Buriram says:

MySpace.

Neighborhood stupidity taken to global proportions

Errant says:

Stereotypes provide useful shortcuts. However, your depiction of American women relies on caricature. The women of rural America (and no less in other parts) rarely surpass 200 pounds. Only a few weigh in at more than 250, and when they do, they supply the kind of ballast needed to keep an untethered trailer safe and secure in the teeth of so many tornadoes.

You mock what gives stability to a nation. These substantial women contribute the bedrock values that keep a free people free. They have eaten and died for the likes of wags and shirkers and sarky no-accounts, for the likes of you and me.

Though no longer living anywhere near the American woman, I can take comfort in knowing I give her more room to do her good and needful works. Your mockery brings discomfort, is a disservice, and constrains apology.

Thank you.

Road Natzi says:

Not Buyen it,

Get over yourself, its a story. Lets face it Oprah is full of shit anyway.

You are also full of shit, come out of the closet, it wasnt ur misses or cousin or whatever you said watchin the show, it was YOU. You were camped on the floor in ur trailer watching one of ur daytime specials....probably recorded on VCR (that u stole) because when it was playing u were busy with 'little not buyen it'. For all you really know, Oprah heard the story as well, then payed some loser to appear on her show claiming it as thier own.

Not everything is as what it first appears!

Now get out of the internet cafe and head back to your trailer, the county sherriff is waiting to speak to you about your outstanding community service FUCKWIT.

PS: Not buyen it, we really know that your the fat chic the story relates to, so just come clean BITCH!

Not Buyen it says:

Road Natzi,
Thank you, I have not laughed so hard for a long time.

"Not everything is as what it first appears!"
I could not agree more.

I guess you got me. I will rifle through my tapes and find out for sure, I just hope I haven't taped over it!

Again, thanks for this treasure.

Im a gonna put it on my bathroom door so I's a got some readin!

Truthfully I loved it. Great stuff

Road Natzi says:

Not Buyen it,

What do I have to do to offend you???

Seems as if I can get away with almost anything?????

Perhaps I should come clean myself and let you know that I'm the bloke that organised for your grandmother to be gang raped by 100 african pigmies, the incident to be filmed and place on YOU TUBE! But lets face it, you were one of the 100 african pigmies that fucked her you filthy git!

Hugs n kisses from RN

dingdongrb says:

RN - Are you braggin again about the only piece of ass you ever got? - From an African pigmy? Or is it that fact that you can only do Grandmas?

Road Natzi says:

DING, re-read the comment, i said i organised it, I woulnt fuck ur granny, shes reportedly got bigger testicles that you, which wouldnt be hard.

Give up idiot, ur not in my league, never will be and you are just looking like the prize fuckwit that you really are.

Lets face it you couldnt get a root in a patpong bar with a fist full of 1000 baht notes, give up dickhead

Not Buyen it says:

Road Natzi says:

"Not Buyen it,

What do I have to do to offend you???"

Were you trying to offend me? Sorry, I didn't get that. I will try to be offended in the future, but it just makes me laugh so.