May 27 2004

McDonald's awards me crap mystery gift

If you go to the Siam Square branch of McDonald's in Bangkok, you might get served by the Thai Prime Minister's youngest daughter, Paethongtan. Unfortunately, though, the inclusion of medium fries within the set meals means that you won't get to enjoy her asking "Would you like flies with that, sir?"

Paethongtan looks startlingly like her dad, so she should be easy to spot. You'd better place your order quickly, though, because she's starting at Chulalongkhorn's political science faculty next month. Perhaps 24 baht an hour wasn't enough to tempt her into building a career with the global burger giant. In fairness to Paethongtan though, the "If you've time to lean, you've time to clean" mentality of the place would provoke me into murderous rage within minutes.

Though McDonald's Thailand can't guarantee that Paethongtan will always be on hand to flip your burger, at 89 baht, its Big Mac meal has to be about the best value anywhere. It comes with the unusual option of chilli sauce and you'll probably win a mystery gift too.

Because Thai people rarely order Big Macs - preferring instead the mysterious Pork Samurai Burger - the wrong-footed staff will probably fail to prepare your meal within the promised 60 seconds and so you'll almost certainly qualify for a consolation prize. Don't hold your breath, though, because it's a bit crap.

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Your patience is rewarded with a blue plastic tag bearing the name Sinobi in both English and Japanese. The chord isn't detachable so you can't put anything on it and the reverse is marked with a price of 98 Yen. As Rolf Harris used to say - can you guess what it is yet? Was it really a thank you gift from a remorseful McDonald's or was the waitress simply passing me her trash because I was closer to the bin?

McDonald's awards me crap mystery gift

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