I fucking hate Songkran

BigDUSA says:

I was in Pattaya last year for Songkran. It lasted 7 days. NEVER AGAIN.

Bangkok Phil says:

The guy in the photo-montage looks like the ultimate Thailand-lover. He probably refers to Songkran as 'an amazing festival that brings young and old together'. He's wearing the naff purple 'pha mai' shirt teamed with unfashionable polyester slacks (we can't see but I bet he's wearing hideous open-toed sandals as well) and he's probably saying "wait till you clap your minces on the size of my hosepipe" to the giggly Thai glamour girl.
Could it be a young Joe Cummings?

Objective Observer says:

You are right on about the insanity of Songkron, it is way over the top in good clean fun. However as some readers of your daily observations have pointed out you again reveal the contempt you have toward Thai women. You may actually have to talk with your Thai girlfriend and shag her in the afternoon. And pathetic Phil adds his usual sickening comments about Thai glamour girls. You both are in need of a dose of reality. Why not return to wherever the hell you come from and get a dose of reality You 'd crawl on your knees like dogs for any women close to a Thai girl were you back home and you damn well know it. You guys are living in Paradise and are so jadded or angry that you don't even know it. David,you have some writing talent but you have been blowing it lately on some truely idiotic rantings. all airports everywhere in the world are ripoffs, Bangkok is as a matter of fact better than most. Neither of you have ever been through any American airport, obviously. You ought to get off the slamming of Thai bargirls too, as it indicates your total ignorance of the real world. You lucky bastards live in a sexual paradise and whine and whine. You can spend a night in Bangkok with a wetdream girl for the price of admission to a lapdance joint anywhere else in the entire first world. You guys have it made and you don't even know it. Phils advise that you edit the comments is the advise of a loser, as the comments are the most interesting part of your site., excluding Phill and that foulmouth - can't remember his name now. But that Willy nailed him as the low life he is. And then he wants to Takwando Willy for calling a spade a spade. Take a break David then get back to the great writing you were doing early on before it all went to your head about what a cleaver fellow you are. Believe me One Night in Bangkok is worth a month of Sundays in just about anywhere else in the world, including San Francisco, the most beautiful happening city in America. Wake up David and enjoy. It is not to late for you as it is for those other cynical bastard leachs who pretend to be you freinds.

motty says:

oh for fucks sake, you lot of whiners make me sick to my stomach

its only a bit of a laugh you soft shits

why when i was alad, a festival meant a festival, you'd get all sorts chucked at ya..

and teh footballs were always heavy with water

players today, call yerselfs me, yer all soft shits

little eyebrows

shits the lot of ya

stop whining, play like men, its a man game is festivals

Jackie Pallo says:

No - not the ears! not the ears!

Me :) says:

Dear David,

It's such a tragic having this Songkran thing, isn't it? Life is so miserable and frastrating, isn't it? Poor little david. There There... why don't you run back to your mummy... see what she can do to help easing such pain. Well if you won't do what I have suggested already, check this out... when in Rome, do as the Romans do... so when you are in Thailand, do as Thais do. เข้าใจไหมคุณ?

Why oh why do I waste so much time (approximately 2 mins) reading such a shitty article? I thought you have a gift. Well then... better go... Have a nice day everyone.

David says:

Me :) - เข้าใจแล้ว ìRun back to my mummy?î That's a bit strong isn't it? ìHave a nice day?î I was having a nice day until your biting satire hit home and turned my complacent farang world upside down. Are you a Tata Young fan by any chance? - David

Me :) says:

oh no sir... i'm surely not her fan (and certaily not one of your groupies... thank god). If you believe that my comment is a little bit too strong for your taste, I do apologize... I did not think that they did not misplace your heart. Well sir... I'm glad. If you do have a heart, please consider giving out some love to Thais. :) Well then... nite nite.

Me :) says:

Oh by the way... love here... means compassion and thoughtfulness.

John U says:

You have to be a pretty sad moronic bastard to be reduced to throwing buckets of water over people smartly dressed and going out for a nice evening.

That was my first experience of Songkran about 5 years ago when I was not aware of the danger. My lady friend and I were both soaked, and if I could have spotted the twat who did it I would have filled the fucker in. Trouble is there were about 5 of the fuckers, all farangs, and all drunk.

What a contrast to the genuine Thai way where you hold out your hand and a little water is poured over it.

We've corrupted a pleasant custom of celebration once again and turned it into a mockery of the real festival of Songkran.

j greaves says:

oh grow up lad,

what the hell is wrong with a bit of fahn?

tosser

you want a doing john you soft git

TIMH says:

John U,
You are very much mistaken to think that Farangs have corrupted Songkran into what is today. If you were to actually go out [of Farang ghettos] and participate, the first thing you would notice is the vast, vast majority of the people are young (and some old ones as well) Thais out having a blast. Saw this link on another board http://www.2bangkok.com/2bangkok/songkran/index2004.shtml. Do you see any Farangs? And this is KSR, (THE Farang ghetto)

John U says:

Hi TIMH,

Wow, you made your point alright. A real eye opener for me.

I still feel we may have given them the ideas to start throwing water and covering people in talcum or flour.

We've always done it in the UK at University rags. A friend of mine was nearly jailed 30 yaers ago during the Aberystwyth Uni. rag. They were all throwing buckets of water, and he threw one in through the open window of a passing car hitting the driver full in the boat. He careered across the road and did serious damage to a lamp post.

I have a feeling that when farangs saw this water festival they felt they could improve it with our version. I could be wrong of course.

Anyway, your point is very well made.

Cheers

John

cockneylol says:

Songkran is shite, and the so called revellers are all cunts, especially the faraang twats who wouldn't normally say boo to a goose flinging buckets of ice cold water around.

Yes, I fucking hate it!

MR X says:

Well this was a pretty interesting thread. I have to say that the starting point was pretty low, with a nicely written article, that was unfortuntaewly written by such a miserable dead beat that i regretted ever reading it; but it brought up some interesting points from other writers.

I think i pretty much agree with the 'stop being such soft shits' comments. I went out and had an amazing time for Songkran - and i think i managed to expericen various aspects of it - from the more traditional ceremonied in my home province temples, to the banglamphu and kao san road effort, and also driving around bangkok in a pickup truck. The whole event was good natured and fun, on the side of both farang and thais. Everwhere i went was dominated by young thais, though many older people near where i stay where joinging and having a great time. Ok so the festival may not be as traditional as it once was, but if its gonna change, why not change into something that is still pretty much harmless fun - can you imgagine something like this ever working on the west? not a chance.

So stop whining about it, and get stuck into the fun. Oh yeah - i laos thought it was a shame that David and Bangkok Phil ha dto lower the tone by slating the natives - come on fellas, with your bear bellies and cream slacks where else in the worls will you stand a chane to land such a beautiful smile.

David says:

Mr X

USvirgin summed you up pretty well when he said ìif I ever need to find a backpacker with a chip on his shoulder, I will certainly contact you.î

At first, I though that your comments were parody but the awful realisation has just dawned on me that you actually meant what you said. I'm awarding you the coveted Golden Mango award for ìperson I'd least like to sit next to on a long haul flight.î

David

Golfy says:

I left Thailand just right before Song Kran so I missed it. I don't remember what it's like since my last Song Kran was over 10 years ago. (Plus, I stopped going out dropping water bombs since I turned 16)

I have to say that I lost interest in Song Kran because I grew older. (But I still LOVE xmas though. I love to eat, shop and get presents ;)

changnoi says:

My first Sonkran, in Hua Hin, probably the most boring Songkran in all Thailand. little splish splash in the afternoon.
You should all go to the carnival in Salvadore de Bahia, Brazil. That's Party!

changnoi
ps
mangosouce great website

tonychang says:

I love songkran but then again I used to live in Hua Hin where it ends before it has a chance to get started (dont like getting out of bed too early) , but in my opinion too early at about 4 p.m. This dosnt give anyone enough time to get really drunk (unless you stay up all night), except for a few Thais, and consequently there is no aggro.

Mike says:

Oh David,

Your sad story about your Nokia set (you read it, guys! This guy has a NOKIA SET!) hung deep black clouds over my day, no over my damn whole week! What a tragedy happened to you there, whiner-boy, and we should immediately send a letter to Her Majesty to stop this event bothering you during those long, long days! Or maybe you just crawl back into the hole you came from!

P.S. I don't like dirty water either, but I do like happy people!

TANAI KWAI says:

"Your sad story about your Nokia set (you read it, guys! This guy has a NOKIA SET!)..."

Yeah, I'm glad I wasn't the only one who did a double-take when I read that. A NOKIA SET!

Wow.

David says:

Mike - I don't understand why choosing a particular brand of handset is that big a deal but it seems that there are others out there who agree with you so I won't labour the point. What I would say, however, is that trying to sneak a search-engine-friendly link to your lame website whilst at the same time calling me "whiner boy" is as futile as it is discourteous. Needless to say, your site won't be appearing on the ìFriends of Mango Sauceî page any time soon. The comment stays up but the link comes off. I don't have any problems with you stating your opinion but I don't owe you any favours you cheeky twat. - David

PS. The reference to Nokia was there to introduce a commonly used search-engine keyword into the piece. In future, those who type ìNokia Thailandî into Google may end up joining our happy band of Mango Sauce regulars.

Mike says:

David,

Ok, concerning the link, that was not my intention; I just didn't want to post such a comment anonymously; that would have been far more futile in my opinion! Concerning the subject, Songkran, it's three fucking days only that we have to ìsufferî, which is not much compared to the number of days you have reason to moan in most western countries! For the rest, I might have offended you, well, you took your revenge: that's great! --- I do like some of your other stories though ;-)

P.S. And thanks for visiting my site, you just doubled my stats! Yeah!

TANAI KWAI says:

To clarify, I found the "NOKIA SET!!!" comment to be impenetrably absurd. I think Mike was suggesting that one must be a man of great means to carry a Finnish cellphone. I honestly don't know, however, since that seems rather pitiful. Perhaps he will explain it.

Mike's website does not appear to feature the same absurdist style but some of the posed photos are disturbing.

David says:

Ha ha. Now that we're back on polite terms again, Mike, I've added your URL to the previous comment - but rest assured that I'll become harsh and judgemental again if you take another pop at me with your cheeky banter. - David

Cynic says:

Tanai Kwai:

How dare you mock Mike's 'posed pictures'. OK, so they are gay as fuck - so what!

It's not our place to snigger at the vanity shots of an intellectually limited Luxembourgian.

BTW I agree that this hating Songkran is a waste of time and energy.

Cynic says:

Speaking of 'gay as fuck'. I disagree that the Farang in the picture is capable of propositioning the girl. He's more likely to be found running around Silom Soi 4 during Songkran, squirting Thai boys with his 'pistol'.

Mike says:

Cynic,

My Buddha, you got me! I'm outed! Now the world knows I'm gay as fuck, intellectually limited and unable to "propositioning the girl" ! [huh]

What if my mom reads it, what the hell should I do now?!

Besides, thanks for the click! Three hits! Yeah! (The stats won't mention it was a wanker)

Cynic says:

Mike: Why so aggressive?

Rick H. says:

A spray of water is one thing. Jackasses dumping buckets of water from high up hotel balconies is another. It's the US military twits on R & R ruining everything.

Way to protect our vital American interests....in Pattaya!!!! Worthless pricks.

Dana says:

Oh, Jesus--why do I always have to do the heavy lifting? People who support or endorse or make positive touristy comments about Sonkran should be kept from breeding. People who participate (throwing water, etc.) should recieve a 9mm to the brain. Think I'm exaggerating? Well, let's just see. If you were Thaksin and you wanted the World Bank to come to the LOS so that you could pitch them for money--would you invite the civilized money men in suits during Sonkran? No? Why not? Hey, I've got an idea. Because there is no way you could sell this abusive nonsense to educated civilized people. Ten years ago my other recieved a bucket full of water full in the face. Her contact lenses were washed out, she was frightened, and she was blind. I have spent the last ten years trying mightily to see the hip trendy wonderful thing that happened to her in the right light. I guess I am not there yet. If I ever catch the human vermin who did this and I have the advantage--I will kill him. That's what your Sonkran has become--abuse and criminality from some of the worlds stupidest people. My idea of a good Sonkran would be to give all the fun loving Buddha praying Thais buckets of water and to give all of the horribly unhip westerners Glock pistols. Now lets party.

TANAI KWAI says:

"I guess I am not there yet. If I ever catch the human vermin who did this and I have the advantage--I will kill him."

You could always fuck him to death with your diseased cock.

(it's not real sex unless somebody dies)

Mike says:

Hey Dana,

What happened there is extremely regretful. But not typical. Normally just a few hundreds of Thais fall off a truck and die...

porkswordsman says:

I chose Songkran for my Thailand hol and it was fabulous. Especially the war-cry 'Falang-Falang' and 2 x bucketloads for the uppity foreigners all ponced up for a night out to impress the girls. Talk about being taken down a peg. When sidewalking it's easy to stay dry ...just motion to the kids with a friendly hand gesture and a their cheeky grins will send you on your way. But an anxious scowl is sure to be rewarded otherwise. Another delightful aspect is the utter disinterest and lack of protest on the part of the front desk staff as you squish and squelch your through the hotel lobby on the way to the lifts, dripping wet. What a town!

John U says:

Pork,

"Just motion to the kids with a friendly hand gesture and their cheeky grins will send you on your way"??????????

What fucking planet were you on?????

Dana says:

Come on John U, don't give yourself away. This motioning to kids thing really does work. You just have to be holding a pistol at the time.

OLY says:

Tanai,

Some nutter you were having a fistfight with somewhere else asked you:

What's worse than your Doctor telling you that you've got VD? But he did not give us the answer, I was hoping he would because it really does apply to you.

Its your Dentist.

Whoever wrote can have a beer from me!

get_bent says:

I am insanely curious as to where all this "fun" is supposed to happen during Songkran? Oh yeah, I forgot, it's in the papers all week.
Headline:
Another 300 Motorcyclists Dead Today
450 More Killed Today from Songkran Festival
1,000 Blinded by Shitty Water Yesterday
Hey, sounds like a blast to me! Where do I sign up?!?
By the way, for most of you pathetic dolts: learn to fucking spell.

WallStreetRacer says:

I too hate Songkran. Not merely the fact that some farmer tosses talcum at you and then ruins your suit with a watergun, but mostly that you are obligated to take it in good humor after the fact. I find it difficult to comprehend the mentality at times. And the reason I am commenting on such an old article is that the King's birthday recently passed. I refused to dress in yellow for the entire damned month like some fruitty Hawaiin waiter, and as you can guess, this was heavily shunned upon. This came in the form of disapproving looks, and even once a refusal from restaurant service (perhaps since they can sense a Farang who knew somewhat of their tradition). Some say the Thais are a very easy-going people, I'm at a loss on occasion. Don't know if I should construe this as condescending behavior...

alec says:

songkran is great fun , a lot of the thais especially upcountry work really hard in the fields building sites etc. This is one time when they can have fun and let their hair down, the whingers should just go home if they dont like it. I bet most of the whingers are the retired and over 50s who want to turn thailand into a place that caters just for them and there needs and sod the thais see pattaya. I hope i come across some of you during songkran id love to throw an ice cold bucket of water in your face preferably id pee in it first, and if you want to make an issue of it me and my extended thai family will happily take you on . Explain to them why there holiday and fun should be stopped just for the sake of a few miserable gits JUST GO HOME !!!

Benjamin says:

Songkran is great fun and only people who are stuck up can't enjoy it.

daniel says:

I have to say i hate christmas as well but love new year at home and here but i think Songkran can be good but i wont state the obvious reasons why or how.
However from experience i dont celebrate Songkran in Bangkok because thats is where the majority of wankers fuck about. So i go to places such as Chaing Mai, Surin and the best place for Songkran for me anyway was Phuket
{ Patong Beach }which because of its proximety to the beach it did'nt really matter how wet you got. Even with the Tsunami hitting Patong full-on earlier in the year it still managed to be one off the best Songkran celebrations i have had.

ps. Why did you not write an article about the Tsunami or have i missed it somewhere on the site.?

Paul says:

I hate Songkran too. Having said that I used to enjoy a water fight when I was a kid.. the fight usually lasted ten minutes and that was enough. It didnt go on for seven fucking days.. WTF?

Not counting all the public holidays in Thailand, Thais dont actually have that many paid holidays.. I really can't understand why they would spend their precious free time standing on a street corner throwing ice cold water in the faces of passing motorcycle riders.

Now if anyone thinks thats a laugh, go visit the A&E ward of any hospital during Songkran. Whats more, I'm quite happy for other people to behave like they just escaped from a mental asylum.. but why do I have to be involved if I dont want to?

Mindless stupidity for mindless morons.

TerryPoole says:

Songkran would be safer if they didn't sell those pressure pumps that almost take your eye out when blasted with them. Some people even think it's funny to add a little perfumed talcum powder into the water beforehand. What next; acid?
I would advise tourists to buy sunglasses that fit as tight around the eyes as possible, keep them on at all times when out on the streets and you should enjoy the festival without getting hurt.

Anonymous says:

If all you pricks hate songkran so Much, stop going to
thailand then, ya bunch of wankers!!!!!

stommx says:

Fuck farang songkran. Long live Thai songkran. Anybody who is in the know knows what is all about. Do you admit you are an ignorant without doing your reasearh? You come to another country and yet you expect it to be like it should be like home...........