September 20 2003

Appeal to would-be stalkers

Stolen in the Muzzik Cafe, Patpong

Two months ago, I was persuaded to go to the Muzzik Cafe in Patpong. Most guys go once and put it down to experience but the chicks love it. Also popular with tourists, it features second-rate live bands, London prices and clingy freelancers who grope you on autopilot without once looking away from their vapid mates.

On arriving home, I realised that some over-tactile slag had lifted my cellphone - a stylish Nokia 6100. When I called to arrange a ransom, the slut was in high spirits and in no mood to talk. I asked a Thai friend to call her later. My friend reckoned she was a pathetic drug-addict who would be in touch soon - correctly as it turned out. However, she wanted far too much and I ended up telling her to shove the phone up her arse (she could take it quite easily, I suspect).

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Like most men, I love gadgets and losing my sexy phone was a bitter blow. However, the problem with these things is that when you use them public you get more unwanted attention than if you'd whipped your cock out. I now sport a less than stylish Nokia 3100, which is more in keeping with my cheap-charlie image.

So why am I still going on about it two months later? Because the cheeky fucker she sold it to is still using my SIM card. My friends sometimes call him in error but not nearly often enough to piss him off. I would be delighted if you called him too. The number is 09-520-9907 (or +66-9-520-9907 if dialled from outside Thailand). This twat needs to understand the downside of receiving stolen goods.

Stalk the bastard!

[Posted to Diary by David]

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Readers' comments

TaipeiJohn says:

Aren't you worried someone will identify you from your phone number (which I assume friends and relatives have)?

June 13, 2004 12:50 AM

David says:

It was an unregistered pay-as-you-go number and is therefore untraceable - the same reason why the bastard is still using it. He's been woken up a few times during the night by Mango Sauce readers, though.

June 13, 2004 1:11 PM

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