Chatuchak Market: It's the dog's bollocks

ty says:

Everybody loves little animals dont they?
I almost pissed myself laughing about your art-historian approach to the puppy paintng :)

CV says:

What most guys saw in this post:

"BLAH BLAh Blah blah blah blah blahblahblah ... BOOBS!"

Nice work. ;-)

Johnny says:

I've noticed that even the cats have balls that dangle down low there. I thought it might have been the heat, but maybe its something else ? Maybe its a misdirected spell ? That girl on the buggy can break my heart anytime she likes.

Dana says:

What most guys saw in this post: posted by CV above--

"BLAH BLAh Blah blah blah blah blahblahblah ... BOOBS!"

Possibly the most perfect post in the history of blogs and internet sites. Unimprovable. Perfect. The Pieta of responses. Mr. CV I salute you and tremble before you. Nice work.

OJ says:

Would it be to obvious to mention how much i like her puppies?? Shit, i even like the painting!

Mr Thaksin, bangkokchat.org says:

Do soi dogs seperated from their pack down small dark poorly lit Soi's still tremble at the approach of horny Thai men in orange silk robes ???

Thaky.

Kitten says:

I'm sorry... I just don't see it!

I'd rather have sex with the puppies than boobs girl. Is she considered "quality" in thailand? Are the "sexy girls" up there quality also?

bangkokram says:

Sorry Kitten can't agree!

I would sooner bring Boobs Girl home from Chatuchak any day, than a dehydrated, soon to die, wheezing puppy.

Anyone who can smile like that after a day of hell walking around Chatuchak as got to be quality.

Well spotted david.

Combover says:

Well I was at Chatuchak on Saturday and I think I've found the trick to dealing with the place...

1. Find a drinks trolley which sells beer

2. Pull up a couple of stools and a like minded friend.

3. Send the girlfriends off to do the shopping.

4. Drink beer

5. Repeat step 4 for as long as is necessary.

satyr says:

Is she considered "quality" in thailand?

Well, Kitten, it would depend who you asked. Most farang would jump out of their skin seeing her. However, Thai people wouldn't look twice and, in all honesty, think her unattractive.

I have seen numerous farang in Patong Beach, Phuket, and Pattaya getting around with the ugliest Thai women who are often older than they are! That is, most farang in Thailand have absolutely no taste.

The girl in the picture is a slightly below average looking upcountry girl with superior tits. You will see thousands of women every day in BKK that are far better looking than she is.

Me? I wouldn't look twice at her normally (my eyes would be locked on her tits ;-) but I would have sex with her over a puppy ;-)

As for her smile, Thai women love having there photo taken and nearly everyone in Thailand smiles. Thai people have a smile for every situation and have a patented "why don't you f*+ck off you stupid, ugly, low, ignorant farang who I wouldn't use to wipe my shoe on after stepping in s&%t from a soi dog" smile.

Andy says:

Splendid pair of tits on her, it must be said. Shame that you'd have to look at her monkey-coupon whilst she's giving you a soapy tit-wank.
...Erm, what was the topic again? Dogs? Love 'em! Actually the Thai soi-dogs make the best house or guard dogs, usually because they've been kicked at least once by some heroic Thai bloke and can't wait for the bastard to come back over yer wall or fence to sink their teeth into him. For a reward.

stu_$ says:

ah dana
you're the pesto of thailand

Kitten says:

"I have seen numerous farang in Patong Beach, Phuket, and Pattaya getting around with the ugliest Thai women who are often older than they are! That is, most farang in Thailand have absolutely no taste."

Hahahaha! I went to a local Buddhist New Year celebration in my whitey town. There was a smug looking chap, late 20's, escorting an unmistakably Thai woman pushing 50 with clown blush and the ghostliest slap I've ever seen.

phil H says:

Kitten,
I think you are a bit wide of the mark but I must agree there are always a few who seem to prefer a bit of rough. As they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Get it out with Optrex.

There was a guy I met a good few years back in the Swagman bar in Pattaya (now changed). He must have hunted the length and breadth of LOS to find the love of his life. Jeez, she was ugly! She couldn't have pulled a lonely pensioner in a Southend pub on a wet Wednesday night in October.

The guy told me this story about his efforts to get his two bagger a visa to the UK. I don't know if it is true but he told it me himself.

All the regulars in the bar had nicknames and his was Mickey Mouse (this bit I know for sure is true, but if any of you are thinking "know the punch line" feel free to fast forward).

So she's at the Embassy for the interview and it's going ok. She stumbles a few times but nothing to worry about. Then comes the probing questions:-
Q. "How long have you known this man?"
A. "About five year" (i.e. 2 weeks per year for the last two years).
Q. "And what is his full name?"
A. pause for thought..."Mickey Mouse."

At this point every living creature in the bar, including the dog, was screaming with laughter. As I said it may be another urban legend but it is always worth telling.

As we are talking about dogs of both kinds the dog in the story deserves a mention. Named Rupert, great hound never bothered a living soul except for Thai men. Let one Thai geezer so much as glance barwards and the fat, amiable Rupert would instantly transform into the Hound of the Baskervilles II.

Coldweasel Quintus says:

Dear David

Another excellent article. Judging by the photo, it seems that your skills in writing are far more refined than your tastes in women.

However, a chacun son gout. So, a friendly suggestion: on your next visa run, consider the flight south to Singapore, and arrange your flights so you have a few hours in the city. There's an excellent Primate section at the Zoo; it'll be right up your alley.

daniel says:

The girl in the picture is not exactly the best looking girl in thailand but she is certainly better looking than some of the girls going out with some farangs ive seen. Maybe im just confused here but a lot of farangs i talk to come to thailand with the sole intention and purpose of meeting a beautiful thai girl so they can fuck or maybe even marry, so what happens, are they constantly drunk or high on drugs because i just dont get it. I met one guy who owns a resturant and was telling me about how many good-looking girls he has had sex and 2 minutes later this horror-pig came walking out of the kitchen who was his wife. Even good-looking men i have seen seem to even do this......... im confused, can somebody explain..........

Jack Howitzer says:

Daniel, I can explain.

You just don't find Thais attractive.

chris says:

i agree with daniel,i mean i dont think its that he doesn't find thais attractive,i mean theres some lovely ones here but most of the farnag seem to go out with the ugly ass issan girls.i think thats what he means.

satyr says:

Well, there is Isaarn and there is Isaarn... Most of the Thai girls you see with farang are Isaarn farm girls. They are usually ugly, extremely rough, loud and rude-mannered according to Thai tastes and definitely poorly educated (but still smarter than most of their farang partners who seem to lose all taste and any semblence of intelligence once stepping off the plane).

Friends recounted a horror story they witnessed with one of these girls at an extremely expensive restaurant in Pattaya (aka hell on Earth). Her farang date had taken her there and most of the other customers were better quality Thais. This girl was picking her feet, yelling to her friends and eating like a pig. Better quality Thai people look down on people like her and at anyone who associates with them, including farang. BTW, the ugliest women in Thailand are found in Pattaya and they are farm girls from Isaarn.

However, I know numerous really attractive women from Khorat and they would be attractive to Thais as well - fair skinned with the slow, calm style that Thais love. I have met really cute, dark-skinned girls for Udon Thani and extremely well-educated, attractive women from Ubon Ratchatani and Khon Kaen. However, you won't meet these girls in a GoGo or Bar Beer.

Anonymous says:

ok is it isan,issan,isaarn or issarn,lard prow,lat phraow,koh san, ko sarn, kok sann etc..... dont even mention mo chit.
anyone got any others cos there are too many to mention here.
david you should put an article up about this......or maybe stinkman has done it already, i mean when you look at public information posters etc aimed at tourists it seems that only the thais can understand the broken english.
also how do you talk to your girlfriend etc or some new found thai friends whose english is a little poor...i usually find myself talking in pigion english but i still have to say that their english is always better than my thai so im not really complaining about it i just want to hear some like-minded views......
low pop gun mai

daniel says:

SATYR i couldnt have put it better myself, i do have a thai girlfriend from issan in surin who is very pretty but is also beautiful in her manner and deameanor, i seem to be very lucky in finding a girl from issan who is exactly the opposite to these loud, rude, brash, money grabbing,ignorant, thick as pig-shit retards that work in the various bars. i didnt set out to find a girl from issan, "hey why the fuck would i do that", but some things are just so unexpected. so theyre not all like that 98% sure but not all.

Andy says:

A few of you people are really starting to sound judgemental and as brainwashed as your average Thai.
Thais all seem to adopt the exact same opinion about everything. Largely prisoners of their own lingual (in)abilities and cultural xenophobia, they love to point the finger at simplistic variations from the norm as "mai dee".
Isarn (however you want to spell it) is the backbone of this country. It produces the factory-fodder; construction muscle; and tourist industry staff that propelled any "economic miracle" Thailand ever enjoyed. And enables pasty-skinned, androgynous, flakey Bangkokians to effetely strut around shopping malls buying the foreign designer goods that they will never be able to produce.
This country would not exist as you know it without Isarn. Stop being snobbish.

philH says:

Satyr,
I take exception to Pattaya being described as hell on earth. OK a fair bit of it could benefit from the Ehud Olmert Redevelopement Plan and maybe the rest doesn't match the sophistication of Nana Plaza but it ain't that bad. Certainly beats the best of times in Slough or Milton Keynes (two of the possible insertion sites for the Enema of Great Britain).

You Bangkok brigade are as bad as the bluddy Londoners. You sit there looking down your nose at the rest of the cess pit convinced that your corner is cleaner and sweeter smelling than any other.

daniel says:

Andy you are quite right in your statement, a very valid point, yes some people do feel superior when they come to thailand however i dont feel im being snobbish about the girls in the sex trade, i do know why these girls are like this 'isnt it obvious' well what do you expect from a girl girl who has sex with as many as 5 men in one night to be like. yes she is this way because of what she does. however their excuse for this seems to be that they have no money or have to do this or that. my girlfriend is from issan and she doesnt work in the sex industry, she also had little money but she didnt go to work in some bar and berate men because they had more money than she did and then begin to start to hate men who wanted to fuck her for money. she didnt, because she is a decent human being who feels that being a whore is beneath her.
so no, i am not being snobbish.

craig says:

hey im sorry to say but the issan girls need to prove themselves.
so next time you guys are out on the town ask an issan girl,they really are not hard to spot,anywhere where there are pool-tables and fat balding farang chavs, each to their own. if she knows who hitler was, or even micheal jackson or the beatles, in fact if you ask them anything intelligent at all you will be answerd with a grunt or failing that she might even say "ok i go with you hansom man" where you can wonder as to why you were even talking to her in the first place.
ps. for you chavs out there who read this that doesnt include football teams from the uk. "PEASANTS"!

chris says:

pattaya, ok its not a hellhole but it sure has too many beer-bars, oh wait so that would equate with too many ugly issan girls, "oh fuck what a shithole".

Andy says:

Ok, for the upper-class Rotarian type people here; a guide to everything thats great about Isarn;-

. Gourmet delicacies involving ants and dung.
. Misshapen lumps of wood laughingly called "handicrafts"
. Massive hordes of rural people that will vote for you when you condescendingly wear pastoral garb, and throw trinkets out from the back of a truck.
. Or if you have nice teeth.
. Great for dumping dangerous pharmaceuticals / cigarettes.
. Supplying lots of flat noses for the burgeoning plastic surgery industry.
. Supplying truckloads of hillbilly village girls to the nationwide sex industry.

No culture at all, some of you philistine phuckers.

Satyr says:

Do I like Bangkok? I have spent a lot of time there, sure, but I would actually say I have spent ENOUGH time there. I enjoy certain aspects of it and there are more hot women per square inch there than probably anywhere else in the world but it is one of those places that you have your fill of after a while. The local Thai have something to do with this, too. Most farang locals have to do a visa run about every 2 months. Conveniently, this coincides with an exceptionally strong urge to GET THE HELL OUT OF BANGKOK.

I am well aware of the short-comings of the average middle class and upwards Bangkokian. They can be a mix of any or all of shallow, venal, rude, impatient, ill-mannered, racist, judgemental, conforming and tediously boring and probably a few other things I am forgetting. Your average young Bangkok girl is like bubblegum – sweet and tasty at first but loses flavour rapidly so you have to spit it out and put a new piece in your mouth. If you like bubblegum, go to any of the hip pop clubs (Slim, Route 66 West) in RCA any night of the week.

I am familiar with Thais from all levels of society - I associate with them all - and have a decent understanding of the aspects of Thai culture that binds and divides them. Status is apparent in all aspects of Thai culture and, thus, there is a large amount of envy, loathing, love and hate that goes on between Thai people from different strata. Personally, I find it incredibly tiresome.

I understand the culture of support for the family and the communal and social care aspects to it. I also understand that it is all too often corrupted to suit greed, laziness and to sate the envy of those who have more (status, status, status). I also understand, that most Thais are, at heart, lazy as sin unless it involves getting and keeping attention, so why work when some idiot will give you and your family money for simply existing and having a pussy?

Crucially, I understand the obligations you have if you marry a Thai lady. Let me give a word of warning, it doesn’t matter how much you love or trust a girl, if her family is no good there is no point having a relationship with her. Before making such an important commitment as this you HAVE to satisfy yourself that her family is of good quality. A further word of warning, this DOES NOT guarantee that the family won’t suddenly become lazy and/or greedy at some later point. Oh, and never make a joint bank account with a Thai lady or, at least, never one in which you put any serious amount of money. There are exceptions to these rules for proper HiSo ladies.

Myself? As I said, I associate with everyone. I eat street food and at 5 star restaurants, get friendly with the staff but know a few stars and a heap of models, I can talk a bit of Thai and a bit of Isaarn and Thai people love me because I understand sanook and joke around. I can spot the obvious rubbish a mile away but understand that nearly any Thai can end up regarding a farang as a walking ATM, just give them time. Personally, I don’t trust Thai people at first – they must prove themselves. I have some good friends there but they have earned my trust. However, it is the same from the Thai perspective. There is so much farang rubbish in Thailand that you must prove yourself as well.

So, Craig, Thai people must be as careful of farang as farang should be of Thai – it really is an uphill battle. Andy, Thai people can give the rest of the world lessons in being judgemental. Personally, I have no illusions about Thais from any social strata. I have a lot of Isaan friends and know and talk to a lot more people from this region. I know that the factories are full of Isaan males who make less than a Bangkok beggar for doing an honest, long and difficult days labour. These are the sort of guys who, if you run into them and bring a friendly attitude and a smile with you, will offer to share beer that cost a good percentage of their day’s wages for nothing other than a laugh and being friendly.

I actually love southern Thailand, the rest I can do without. I love the lifestyle in the south, the atmosphere, beautiful countryside, sea, dodgy boats and people (except some in the tourist trap areas and nearly all in Patong Beach) who are friendly and warm-hearted. Your average southerner has darker skin than someone from Isaan and is looked down on and can be regarded as barely Thai by many Bangkokians. If they want to leave me the south, I’ll take it, thanks very much.

daniel says:

SATYR, well said again, when will some foriegners learn, and why when then learn they will do it again.
another point is that there are many good things about thailand and bad, as with any country, but it seems that ignorance is rife in thailand, from the bangkonians to issan and elsewhere.
to forgive ignorance however is a mistake, people should be made aware of their mistakes if only so they can correct themselves or not impose their ignorance on others.

would'nt everybody agree.......?

ozricmann says:

now i look at the picture of the dog again, i have to say that is one amazing photograph.

the dog almost looks possesed.

whoever took that photo must be very handy with a camera.

ozricmann says:

speaking of dogs..........

if you venture to victory monunment and go to victory point.
you will see a man with his golden labrador.

'the dog can actully read'

the man calls out the word on a card, ie 'london' and the dog looks, ponders, and picks up the correct card and gives it to the man.
bangkok does have its share of soi dogs but this was a refreshing change.

i did enquire about the dogs special talent but unfortunalty the man spoke very little english apart from the words said to his dog.

this gave me an excellent excuse to talk to the lovely university girl who was walking by and engage her in all sorts of coversations about dogs that can read...........AH THE JOY!

and they say that america is the land of opportunity.

AMAZING THAILAND IS WHAT I SAY !

monkey says:

forget Thai girls... Laos girls are the real heart melters!
;)

SiLeakHunt says:

A friend took his wife to Chatuchak to buy a puppy and they found one that was suitably cute and loveable.
They took their bundle of fur home and his Mrs mothered it while he was at work.
All was well, however after a few weeks they noticed it was spending a lot of time standing on its hind legs so they took it to the vet.
"Hello mr vet why does our dog spend all it's time standing on its back legs."

"It's not a dog it's a bear!"

Cheers