May 28 2004

BTS Badminton

Who is the rudest Thai person that you've ever met? Chances are that it's a puffed-up little security guard on Bangkok's BTS Skytrain. There's one on every platform. Put a toe over his yellow line and the officious little twat will run over to harangue you with his whistle.

BTS Badminton is a game for two players. They position themselves at opposite ends of a Skytrain platform. The role of "shuttlecock" is played by our overeager security guard.

Player 1 "serves" by putting his foot over the yellow line. If he fails to attract the shuttlecock, then a "fault" is declared. A double fault gives his opponent a point and the opportunity to serve.

If he serves successfully, the shuttlecock whistles over to player 2 - who must now withdraw his foot. Player 1 then extends his foot to draw the shuttlecock back. If he fails, the shot is declared "out" and his opponent scores a point.

The doubles version of BTS Badminton involves a second pair of players who take to the court on the opposite platform.

Red Bull can fuck off because Mango Sauce has already secured the exclusive sponsorship rights to this new extreme urban sport.

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Of course, it's not the winning and the promotion of an exciting new range of Mango Sauce clothing, footwear and accessories that matters - it's the taking part. BTS Badminton is a guaranteed crowd-pleaser if you can get a good rally going.

[Posted to Activities by David]

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Readers' comments

TANAI KWAI says:

David,

How much is that doggie in the window?

(...)

May 29, 2004 5:52 AM

Errant says:

Friends report that there's another yellow line in Bangkok around which one must step carefully. It's in a popular entertainment establishment on Sukhumvit and in fact not far from a BTS line. These same friends report, somewhat cryptically, that if a person should sit on a stool to one side of this line, while in itself not a violation, a violation of sorts will later ensue.

No report of badminton on the premises.

May 29, 2004 9:11 AM

Jim Beam says:

David, How on earth did you pursuade Dana to allow using his photo?

May 30, 2004 1:25 PM

BTS Cock says:

BTS cock can be practised underneath the BTS station on Silom (counter-intuitively known as Sala Daeng) between 3 and 5 in the morning on weekends.

One can even (with a huge Jumbo-Rizla assembled joint hanging precariously from the mouth) wear a Bin Laden T Shirt, camoflague combat trousers, twin knuckle dusters, Samurai Sword, fearless of any intervention by the men in a green (ahem) uniform. Insert; unique 70's Pacino shades, variety of gun positions from sweet and lowdown to waist tuckers (gasp!), degrees of hot ironed polyester, slender waist like a girly or a pot belly that's unaquanited with detective work, honourable civil or criminal law enforcement exertion but a tendency to be more agressive in groups)

Is this about the cops or BTS Cock?

smirky smirky cheep cheep jazz festival lover

or

unpunctuated punk that eats shits and leaves.

xx

May 30, 2004 2:04 PM

Way far says:

That article was really funny... memories...

June 4, 2004 2:56 PM

daniel says:

hahahahahahahaha.....
what a picture, im sure i have seen that guy hanging around nana somewhere, "hey maybe he knows the nana prowler".

October 1, 2006 7:07 PM

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